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My Horrific Nightmare

Three years ago I was raped. I met a man who was a marine and had mutual friends. We hit it off and began dating. After two months he got out of the marine corp and moved back to his home of Reno, NV. Truthfully, I knew he had issues. I had caught him lying..etc. But I was 29 and had issues with relationships so I felt I needed to try and make one work. He wanted me to come visit him in Reno and offered to pay which was unusual (he was very stingy with money). But I went anyway. The first couple days were great. He offered me this drug called bath salt that he bought at a store. It made me super awake for two days…I didn’t have much experience with drugs but I wanted to make him happy. It was the third day that everything changed. I remember him giving me… Continue reading »

In 1978

In 1978 when I was 21, I dated a foreign young man from the Middle East for about a year. During that time we did have sex and I ignored the fact that he made disparging remarks about the fact that I was willing to have pre-marital sex. Eventually we broke up due to this and other cultural differences. Shortly after our breakup, I met with him during the day in his van. He drove us to a secluded place to “talk” about our ended relationship (not get back together). That is when he over-powered me and raped me while I was crying, trying to fight him off and suffering. I later told my girlfriends but never the police or my parents, especially, because it would have crushed my mother to know this (she likely would have had too much sympathy for me). I also didn’t even consider contacting authorities/police because I knew him and… Continue reading »

Every Way Imaginable

I was first sexually abused between the ages of 10 to 12 by a family acquaintance. I did not deal with the abuse until I was in my 40’s. I am now 53. The consequences of being sexually abused at such a young age were staggering. I was extremely promiscuous and had low self-esteem and self-worth. Every relationship I became involved in was abusive in every way imaginable. I have endured multiple physical and emotional injuries. I was first married in 1980 to a demon. The only positive aspect of that disaster was my three beautiful children. However, this demon sexually and emotionally abused all three of my babies. In addition, he sexually, physically and emotionally abused me. After being legally married for 20 years, I finally gained my children’s and mine freedom. My horrible decision making relative to relationships continued. Without going into detail relative to each and every single disaster, I believe the… Continue reading »

Rape and Anxiety

I was raped when I was 19 years old. I was very inexperienced sexually. I had started “fooling around” with a guy I met through a friend. It was Christmas day and he came over to my house (where I lived with my parents). I had told him I did not want to have sex, as I told him I had difficulty separating the emotions from it. (He wanted to just be “friends with benefits”). We were fooling around in my room, and I told him again I did not want to have sex. He did it anyway. I did not make any sound because I did not want my parents to hear (they were home) and know that I was having sex. I thought they would be angry about him being there in the first place. Afterwards, he “cuddled” me. I felt so confused. I still feel very confused. Sometimes I think it was… Continue reading »

Silent Rape

I spent twenty years of my life with my ex husband, 16 of them engaged to him and 4 married to him, we had 3 children. He was a jealous, abusive husband who used to accuse me of sleeping with an ex boyfriend of mine but I never did. Seven years before my ex husband and I split up a bus driver was paying me a lot of attention when I was going home from work. He seemed very friendly and then one day he turned up in his car, not his bus and I got in to the car. He took me to his house, I was so afraid to go home because I had spent a long time at this bus driver’s house, I knew my husband would be really angry so I stayed with the bus driver for 10 days. I know it was wrong of me but we had consensual sex… Continue reading »

Teenage Victim

I am a 26 year old, female to male transgender, who was raped, I was raped twice when I was younger. Once by my ex boyfriend during my sophomore year of high school and once when I was about 14 years old by a stranger. When I was 14, I used to go through the park that was between my house and school and hung out there a lot during the summer time. While I had seen the guy around, I never held a conversation with him before. I was taking basic spanish classes during middle school so I only understood a few things since he only spoke Spanish. Because of my Autism, I grasped at any attention a person was willing to give because I was more of a loner in a sense. We had went for a bike ride and he took me off one of the main trails to a place where… Continue reading »

Innocence

I was raped repeatedly at the age of 8 by a neighbor teenager right after my mother had left our family, and I was sexually molested by a man who was 22 years older than me, a trusted father figure within a small religious community, when I was 16. I left my father and brother at age 11 to live with my mother to get away from my rapist, and I left my home country at 17 to protect the woman who was like a mother to me and who was my abuser’s wife. Years later I got counseling for myself regarding the child sexual abuse, but did not tell anyone about the older man until his wife called me long distance from Europe, to ask me if I had slept with her husband. She believed me at first that it was abuse, but then turned it around to blame me. I reported it to… Continue reading »

Confused

When I was 15 years old I had gotten a Facebook message from a guy telling me I was beautiful and that he wanted to take me out for coffee. After he asked me if I wanted to hang out at his place and I went. I had fount out he was 20 and it made me feel flattered that an older guy would be interested in me. We kissed and he tried taking off my clothes. I told him I didn’t want to have sex, and he got mad and took off my clothes anyway. He raped me in the vagina and anus and when I tried to scream, he choked me. After I walked home and never told anyone I was raped even though he told everyone we had consensual sex. Shortly after I had a boyfriend, together for 3 years now. At 16 he got me pregnant. Because of my pregnancy, I… Continue reading »

I Told Him No

I was 17. I had recently broke up with my boyfriend and my ex’s best friend asked me to come to his house. I willingly let him kiss me and carry me to his room. I willingly laid in his bed and we kissed. It turned awkward and felt wrong. I told him no pushing on his chest. He started kissing me harder on my neck and chest and getting rough. I moved up to the headboard to get out from under him and tried to get up. He put his weight on me and I froze. He was letting me know it was going to happen and it did. He bragged about it to my ex and others. I never told my truth. Now 27 years later, I am 40 and just last night told my husband of 14 years my truth. My truth is that I told him no. My truth is that… Continue reading »

Abuse and Rape

I was sexually abuse by a young man (close to 18) from the time I was 5 until I was 9. Then when I was 16 a man who I considered my big brother raped me. He took me home from a wedding. I had gotten drunk at the wedding. When I got home, I was unable to get the key to work in the lock due to being drunk. As I was fumbling with the key, he reached up under my dress and ripped off my pantyhose. I got him to stop by saying we were too exposed on the front porch. He followed me into the house, pushed me onto the floor and raped me. He called me the next day and said that I should not tell anyone because it would tear apart the family. I believed him and did not tell anyone for close to 40 years. I used to blame… Continue reading »