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Survivors of Continuous Events of Sexual ABUSE

I am 23 y/o of Multiracial Ethnicities, Filipino-Spanish-American. Struggling w/the issue of being multiracial and identifying my sexual identity. I am a survivor of 10 years of child incest/rape by my father from 6-17 years old. I was date raped again by a friend in college, he brought alcohol over, we watched a movie, he had sex with me while pushing my head down on the pillow, as I was telling him to stop. I was raped (fingered) by another guy after college. I told him I didn’t want to have sex but he kept on pulling my pants down. I felt dirty, used, abused, objectified. My dads best friend was a cop and also another uncle of mine had also fondeled me when I was young. I am ANGRY. And am in the process of Re-GAINING my Freedom, Control over my body and life. I am 23 years old and I am a survivor…. Continue reading »

Rape…..or not?

Eleven years ago, when I was 16, I was raped. Or that’s how I seem to remember it. You see, I wasn’t held at knifepoint. I wasn’t pushed onto a dirty mattress. I didn’t have my clothes ripped off. I wasn’t even crying. My young self let things go “too far” with a man I barely knew. The next thing I knew, he was having sex with me and all I remember saying is, “I don’t think I want to do this.” That should be enough to consistute rape, right? I’m not so sure. I didn’t push him away, but I laid there lifeless waiting for it to be over. Was I raped? Over the last eleven years I’ve gathered strength from reading and hearing stories from other friends and strangers that have been raped, including my best friend Jennye that has been contacted for this documentary. She screams her rape from the rooftops and… Continue reading »