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Breaking the Silence

I am a bartender, and he was a regular. I thought he was handsome actually. He had that bohemian look that has always made my head turn. In fact, I had asked to meet him that night. Our date began at the bar, after my shift ended. We had a few drinks and a few laughs. We talked about our travels and showed each other our various scars. I liked this man. I really did. So, when he invited me to his house, I said yes. My co-workers knew him. He was safe. One of the good ones. Besides, I was new in town and was eager to make friends. I wanted to feel like a local. So, I went inside. I climbed the stairs to his loft and sat down on a chair. Then, with no warning, the night changed. He picked me up in his arms and carried me to his bed. I… Continue reading »

Didn’t Realize It

I was raped my a coworker March 4th, 2009. This was 5 months after my wedding. I worked with this “man” at a local craft supplies store. I would often give him a ride home as we usually closed the store together and the neighborhood is not always safe. There was a lot of back and forth flirting type joking going on for a while up to this. I had friends, or so I thought. It started with harassment. I ignored it. Then came the night I took him home. I ended up driving down a road where I had gotten lost for a minute. He told me to pull over. I figured we were going to figure out where we were, turn around, and go home. I was apparently mistaken. He started kissing me and undoing my pants. My mind blanked, I froze up. I couldn’t vocalize that this was wrong. All I could… Continue reading »

My Fight

I am forced to live in a house with young men. My brother and three others. I put up a fight every night. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. The worst part is they know I’m a lesbian, and i hate it. They always say they will change my mind. Make me enjoy it. The scars across my back and front from their knives and nails obviously don’t prove anything to them. I’m just another toy to be used and abused at their will. I’m kept in a house, in a country where I don’t speak the language. I am absolutely powerless.

First Friend at University

I went to university in Newcastle, UK. It was my fourth day of university and i was just getting used to meeting new people and getting to grips with being on my own and away from home. I had met some people during this time but the first person I met was a guy and we got on so well. I thought he was a really good guy and that we were friends. I didn’t want anything from him. I wasn’t looking for a relationship or anything like that. I just wanted a friend. Someone that I could talk to and turn to when feeling homesick and things like that. I was so wrong about him. He was everything that a girl fears when moving away from home. This fun, exciting adventure turned into a nightmare before my eyes. It was during my freshers week and there was an event on at a local rock… Continue reading »

I Blamed Myself

When I was 22 I was a virgin waiting to meet the right person who would love me and who I could make that commitment to. It didn’t happen that way… I had worked with the man for a few months and I got along with everyone at work so I treated him like I would anyone else. I had noticed a few times him staring at me but I thought nothing of it, when I would contemplate on this, I couldn’t help thinking that maybe I had encouraged him in some way. It was finally the work Christmas party and I had glammed up along with the other girls at work, it was an open bar so everyone went a little crazy. As it got later I became more and more drunk and he kept trying to dance with me but I would walk away. The director then asked me to go get the… Continue reading »

Light In The Dark

I grew up hearing all the right information when it came to date rape, sexual assault and healthy relationships. My mother, my school and other sources were good at teaching me the facts about these realities. Even being equipped with the tools to be able to recognize these risks and a strong head on my shoulders I still found myself to be a victim of sexual assault on multiple occasions. This first encounter was when I was 16, at a party. I had a few alcoholic drinks, which were “shared” by a close friend who I trusted and had known since I was 8. Shortly after this I remember my body literally become a pile of jello. I was complete dead weight, paralyzed. A group of people carried me inside and laid me down on the couch, I could still hear, smell, see and feel everything around me but was unable to move my body… Continue reading »

Ex-Boyfriend

I dated my boyfriend for 4 years on and off. He was extremely emotionally and physically abusive. He isolated me from everyone I knew, including my parents and made me feel like he was everything. He was the first guy I slept with, and even the first time with him I didn’t want to but he said if I didn’t sleep with him he would break up with me. I was fourteen. I wasn’t ready for it. When I graduated from high school he was arrested. I moved away, started university, attempted a fresh start and made all new friends. When he got out he tracked me down, and he cornered me when I was leaving class one night. It was a late night class so there weren’t many people around. He came up behind me and held a knife to my back. He made me walk to an isolated area and said if I… Continue reading »

Justice a Joke

I had just moved into the neighborhood to start my new job at a high school when my housemate introduced me to our neighbor and his two kids. We hit it off right away and became close friends. He’d always invite myself and others to dinner where he would cook amazing meals. I became very close to his daughter who lost her mother a few years earlier, and acted as a female role model for her. At the time, I couldn’t work out why she hated other girls so much… We were never in a relationship, only friends, and I constantly made this clear. It also seemed pretty obvious given that I was already in a relationship. One night, he invited myself and other neighbors over to dinner as usual. Within seconds of the last person leaving, he quickly took advantage. The word ‘no’ obviously wasn’t in his vocabulary and, within moments, he was forcibly… Continue reading »

Was It Rape?

I was working a summer camp as a teacher and when the four weeks finished I went on a road trip with a friend from the camp. We were met in a campsite by our Supervisor in the camp. He was about 10 years older than us and I really looked up to him. That night we pitched our tent in the campsite and went for a walk around the local town. I remember having two drinks in a local bar and then we returned to go to sleep. My supervisor told me what way to sleep with my back to him. My friend fell asleep quickly, but I was nervous and uncomfortable and so could not fall asleep. Sure enough after a while my supervisor started to masturbate against me, I was wearing pajama bottoms but he still managed to insert his penis into me from behind. I remember it was uncomfortable and I… Continue reading »

Naive and Vulnerable

I was working in a hotel in a remote holiday village where he was the bouncer on the nights that the night club attached to the hotel was open. He was not the stereotypical bouncer. He was relatively small, average build and not threatening-looking. It was obvious he was there because he would know the kids from the local area that were too young to be there. I was 16, he was in his mid-twenties. I was young and believed I was invincible, as so many that age do. I begged my parents to allow me to stay working there until the end of the Summer, while they returned home with my brothers. I wish now that they hadn’t given in to my demands. Young, with money, feeling invincible yet socially insecure, I hung out with the others that I worked with and usually ended up drinking too much to compensate for my insecurity. We… Continue reading »