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My story

Ive been debating telling this story let alone publish it. I was 10 years old when I was continuously raped by a neighbor which lasted 2 years. I blamed myself for years for what happened but now I firmly believe that this person was a monster and there wasnt anything I could do. The first time he actually penetrated me he held me down and no matter how much screaming I did it didnt help.

Just Me………

I was supposed to be a part of the interviews for the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center, but for some reason that did not pan out, so here I am…. My story is probably one of many, but I was a child who was repeatedly molested, and unfortunately grew up to also be raped as an adult. All of my offenders were known to me…it is funny, but people seem to believe that must be easier….

עדיין מציק

וואו אני לא יודעת מאיפה להתחיל עברתי 3 מקרים וזה עדיין מציק אני בת 31 אמא ל2 ילדי מקסימים כשהייתי בת בערך 15 ליוויתי את חברה שלי הבייתה דרך איזו סימטה מוארת לפתע שמענו שמישהו הולך אחרינו הגברנו את קצב ההליכה וגם הוא הגביר ומכיוון שאני הייתי הכי קרובה אליו הוא תפס אותי וניסה לגרור אותי לשיחים תוך כדי שהוא אומר שהוא רוצה סליחה על הביטוי להזדיין איתי התנגדתי לו והתחלתי לצעוק הוא מושך אותי מצד אחד וחברה שלי מצד שני הוא ראה שאני צועקת אז הוא התחיל להרביץ לי כנראה שהוא נבהל מהצרחה וברח נכנסתי להלם חברה שלי הלכה לשכנים שגרו ליד וביקשה מהם להזעיק את המשטרה המשטרה הגיעה ולקחה אותי לעשות איתם סיבוב בעיר כדי לראות אם אני מזהה אותו כמובן שאת הפנים שלו לא יכולתי לשכוח הוא היה ערבי מבוגר ומפחיד לאחר מכן נסענו לתחנת המשטרה והתקשרו להורים שלי מכיוון שהייתי קטינה ההורים שלי נבהלו ומיד הגיעו לאחר כשעה הגיע חוקר שהראה… Continue reading »

Not Alone

I am 34 years old. I was sexually abused by my ex-step-father for nine years. It ended 20 years ago, and I am only now comfortable and very passionate about using my experience to help others in some capacity. I am only very, very recently learning about ways that I may be able to do this, and am looking for more avenues to help and contribute in some fashion. I feel like my experience would be a complete waste if I did not use it to help others somehow. The abuse began when I was four or five and lasted until I was 14. At age 17, I had a psychotic break and was hospitalized and put into residential treatment for many months. Eventually I got out and tried to commit suicide and got put back into the hospital. I was given up to the state of California as a ward of the court during… Continue reading »

Thank you for speaking out…

I would like to first of all, praise all the women who’ve shared their stories on this website. It is a brave thing to discuss a topic so horrific and traumatizing. Speaking from personal experience, I know what kind of strength and courage that is needed to do such a thing. I would also like to thank Linor for her efforts and her cause. I was raped over 3 years ago by two guys I barely knew. I was on a date with one of them and after 3 drinks, I blacked out and did not remember the rest of the night. I believe I was drugged because I spent the following day sick to my stomach. Bits and pieces of the night came to me and I do remember having sex with the both of them. I knew in my head that I didn’t want to. All I thought that night was that I… Continue reading »

Thank you

I am a survivor of sexual abuse and rape. As a child my father repeatedly raped both my sister and I until we were adopted by my step-father. I suffered from selective amnesia and didn’t remember much of my youth until I was a freshman in college and began having flashbacks. In high school I was raped by a boy I had been dating. I never reported it because I felt guilty for not fighting back enough. Through therapy and the support of friends later on in my life I now know I am not at fault for either of these events and that, unfortunately, I am also not alone. I am so grateful for the opportunity to speak out about my survival and about how I’ve coped because I feel that one of the reason rape and sexual assault are such issues is that they are taboo subjects. I hope by speaking out and… Continue reading »

Survivors of Continuous Events of Sexual ABUSE

I am 23 y/o of Multiracial Ethnicities, Filipino-Spanish-American. Struggling w/the issue of being multiracial and identifying my sexual identity. I am a survivor of 10 years of child incest/rape by my father from 6-17 years old. I was date raped again by a friend in college, he brought alcohol over, we watched a movie, he had sex with me while pushing my head down on the pillow, as I was telling him to stop. I was raped (fingered) by another guy after college. I told him I didn’t want to have sex but he kept on pulling my pants down. I felt dirty, used, abused, objectified. My dads best friend was a cop and also another uncle of mine had also fondeled me when I was young. I am ANGRY. And am in the process of Re-GAINING my Freedom, Control over my body and life. I am 23 years old and I am a survivor…. Continue reading »

Rape…..or not?

Eleven years ago, when I was 16, I was raped. Or that’s how I seem to remember it. You see, I wasn’t held at knifepoint. I wasn’t pushed onto a dirty mattress. I didn’t have my clothes ripped off. I wasn’t even crying. My young self let things go “too far” with a man I barely knew. The next thing I knew, he was having sex with me and all I remember saying is, “I don’t think I want to do this.” That should be enough to consistute rape, right? I’m not so sure. I didn’t push him away, but I laid there lifeless waiting for it to be over. Was I raped? Over the last eleven years I’ve gathered strength from reading and hearing stories from other friends and strangers that have been raped, including my best friend Jennye that has been contacted for this documentary. She screams her rape from the rooftops and… Continue reading »