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Aftermath

I’m not gonna tell the story of what he did here, just the aftermath. In october I was raped by a boy I’ve been friends with for a couple years, and he forced my boyfriend and friends to watch. Yesterday I posted his name and the full story on my facebook account. He’s now threatening legal action for defamation. and I’m receiving threats from one of my “best friends.” I have to see him at school tomorrow and since all my friends believe him that I’m lying, I just know I’m going to get hurt. But I don’t regret posting it. I don’t regret speaking out. — Kat, age 19

Party Time

When I was fifteen I went to my first college party. My friend Katie who was a senior and eighteen at the time had been invited by an older boy and I insisted that we go. She was hesitant but I pushed and she relented. So we got all dolled up and went across the city to this frat house. It was wonderful at first, but I was stupid and didn’t pay attention to anything happening. Before I new it I felt as if I was loosing consciousness and I didn’t know why because I had only had one drink. I realized I was in this guys bed and he was on top of me. I tried to get him off but I was too weak. During the assault Katie barged in but It was too late. I could tell by the look on her face that I looked awful from being hit multiple times… Continue reading »

Okay, Not Okay

Last January was the first anniversary for me since I was sexually assaulted for the first time in my life. I am straight, and I was assaulted by my female friend. Though I want to/feel that I need to share what had happened to me last year, I barely remember the details of the incident. I only remember the story just because I told my another friend what happened briefly, and I only remember what I have told to them. And it goes like this- I went to a house party, where we never had alcohol/drug. It was just a welcoming atmosphere chill party with less than 10 students at my friend’s house. On my way back to campus, the driver who was also a friend of me, raped me in the forest. I have no idea/memory how and what she actually did to me, how I got back, how I spent 3 months after… Continue reading »

My First Time

I was 19 and it was my second year in university. It was great, I lived in my new dorm with some really nice girls and I couldn’t have asked for anything more. It was December 19. I came out of an economics lecture and it was relatively late, it was probably around 5pm. Lots of people had dropped out and my class was small, I didn’t know anyone in that class and I liked to sit by myself. I took the same route I always took but I had to walk though a large group of friends who blocked the corridor. Later on when I was on my way home, I got to where the dorms was and went down the small alley way (I guess that’s what you called it) but it was wider and longer than you’d expect. I probably got a third way down and the next thing I know someone… Continue reading »

Being Raped

With the help of God, I can finally write this down. I watched Brave Miss World the same year I confronted on of the men who raped me. This site has allowed me to find strength and solidarity among the words, the deeply respected and haunting stories of others who have experienced being violated, having their identities stolen or put through crisis; those who wake up with PTSD, anxiety, suffer from panic attacks, substance misuse, depression and social isolation. Some of those, who like me, blamed themselves for something you ask.. couldn’t I have prevented? This is for every girl, who didn’t get to choose, and for every person who loves her and also, didn’t get to prevent what happened to her. It’s also for anyone who has ever raped, violated or participated in anything that led to someone being violated. I hope that you become better than you were, and seek forgiveness. I am… Continue reading »

I Thought I Was Safe

It was sophomore year of college and I was so happy to move back on campus. It had never occurred to me that with the independence and freedom I found in college, there also came many things I needed to be aware of that could compromise my safety. I was naive. I never thought it would happen to me in a place I loved so much. I never thought I was unsafe. I moved back on campus early, as did many of my friends. A couple of nights before classes started, my friend Hannah and I decided to have a quiet night and planned on having a couple of drinks and listening to music. After an hour or so, one of Hannah’s friends (we’ll call him Ted) came in. I knew of him and had seen him around campus, but this was my first time really meeting Ted. We hit it off right away and… Continue reading »

I Said No

They made me do a module on sexual assault and harassment. I listened. I did it. I read 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted. I told myself it would never be me. I would never put myself in that situation. And then the storm came. I liked you so much. I said yes. We did it. I still liked you so much. But the second time I said no. You said shut up. Your hands moved from my breasts to my neck to my pussy. I said please. I said stop. I said no means no. You put it inside me. I pushed you away. You pulled me closer. You were stronger than me. It was easier to lay there until it was over. So I did just that. When you were finished, I left. I did not make it halfway home before I broke down. I cried. And cried. And cried. I… Continue reading »

You Can’t Trust Anyone

At the time he was my boyfriend of about 6 months. my first boyfriend in high school had cheated on me with my best friend, that relationship doesn’t hold much meaning to me because first loves to me can be first mistakes I was very young and should have seen it coming. But regardless I didn’t and I moved on. He was older, about four years captain of the basketball team I was a freshman in nursing school with a whole Future ahead of me. I had taken two online classes for him to help him pass his senior year of college. I refuse to hold myself accountable for being til giving because I will never discredit someone for being too giving. To give is to receive and I learned immensely from the process. It was a few months after he graduated I was soon to enter my sophomore year. His birthday was in early… Continue reading »

Ready to Share

I was 18 years old. As with many of these stories, I was a freshman in college. I was drunk. It is embarrassing to admit that I was so drunk that I fell off of a 5′ loft bed into a mini fridge, resulting in a moderate to severe concussion (later diagnosed by medical professionals). I am now even more aware of this because I am a mental health professional. Back then, I didn’t know so much. I saw myself as an over-sheltered youth “breaking free” from my parents’ shackles. So, I drank…a lot. This particular night, I was so disoriented that had to be carried up the stairs by a few friends, including one young man who decided to stay with me for the night to “make sure I was okay.” That night, I lost my virginity. I lost everything. He made sure that I knew he was my first. Nothing, not even time,… Continue reading »

Black and Blue

My story is a little different than the ones Ive read. And for a long time I didn’t see it as rape because of what I was reading. I now realize that I was raped an I need to go forward. The first step is to share my story. I was very irresponsible in my first semester of college. I was 18 I attended a community college so the university life was unfamiliar to me. A friend of mine was in a frat so I was invited to many of their events (because I am a girl and they needed more at their events) I didn’t know this was why I was invited at first. I went a few times and knew everyone by name. I remember drinking and taking shots asking a trusted friend if he would take care of me because he only had two beers ( he only drank Corona and there… Continue reading »