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Black and Blue

My story is a little different than the ones Ive read. And for a long time I didn’t see it as rape because of what I was reading. I now realize that I was raped an I need to go forward. The first step is to share my story. I was very irresponsible in my first semester of college. I was 18 I attended a community college so the university life was unfamiliar to me. A friend of mine was in a frat so I was invited to many of their events (because I am a girl and they needed more at their events) I didn’t know this was why I was invited at first. I went a few times and knew everyone by name. I remember drinking and taking shots asking a trusted friend if he would take care of me because he only had two beers ( he only drank Corona and there… Continue reading »

Out of Control

I’m a 19 y/o freshman in college, and this was the first New Years Eve that I haven’t spent with my parents. I went with two of my friends to a frat party at our state college. I told my parents I was staying at a girl friends dorm afterwards, when in reality I was staying at the house of an older guy I’ve been hanging out with. He’s 24 and I’ve known him for about six months. We casually make out sometimes but he knows I don’t want to take things further than that. I’ve made it clear I don’t want to have sex with people I’m not dating. My friends and I stopped by his house beforehand for some pre-party drinks, then caught a cab to the frat house. The party was really fun, the people were all really nice, and we danced and drank and celebrated the new year. Multiple guys flirted… Continue reading »

Roommates

He was my roommate. Someone I barely knew, an acquaintance. I had moved back to campus after living about a year 20 minutes out from school. I was desperate to be around people my own age again and get out of my current living situation. I took on random roommates in the same building as all my friends. I knew ahead of time they’d be guys I didn’t know but I never thought much of it because I had always made friends with guys easier. Before moving in, I became married during my last semester of school. I couldn’t wait to move into my new place and have the best last semester of college ever. Little did I know, it would hands down, be my worst. My roommate was friendly off the back but I assured myself, he was only being nice. He added me on all my social media and messaged me on facebook… Continue reading »

Salted Wound

When you ask someone who knows me well how to describe me, the first word that comes to their mind is strong. And yes, I have proven I am strong throughout my life by defying obstacles and haters like the powerful creature that I am. However, there is one part of my life that no matter how hard I try, it will always bring my weakness out: sexual assault. It was the night of my 19th birthday. An appropriate time to celebrate with friends, reflect on prominent memories in life, eat cake and ice cream, and of course, drink alcohol! What better way to celebrate than go to a college party? Little did I know, someone was going to blow out the candles for me. About two hours into the party, my mind was grainy and my actions could not a test to anything I would do when I was sober. I was officially drunk…. Continue reading »

The Girl Who Went To College

It was early into my first year of college in New York City. (I’m from a really small Midwest town and grew up as a painfully awkward band geek and was going through my first ever breakup with my then-long-distance HS boyfriend back home but we were trying to stay friends). I actually vividly remember the beginning of this night and I was curled up in sweats and a sweater in my dorm room, drinking peppermint tea and working on a paper I needed to write for my theatre history class (I went to a very small acting school). And one of my dormmates came into my room to convince me to go to a party on one of the floors in our dorm building that night. I was really new to parties and had only drank alcohol one other time but I was excited to make friends. So, I threw on a sweater, a… Continue reading »

Love of My Life?

I was 17 years old. My senior year of high school was complete. My boyfriend at the time came down from Stanford to see me graduate. He was caring, supportive, kind, you know, a great boyfriend. He was a sophomore, grade A student, football player, and community activist. Two weeks before my graduation, we decided to move in together when I went to Stanford. At my graduation dinner, he asked me, in front of all my friends and family to marry him, and I said yes. Everything was perfect, until it wasn’t. The first few months of my freshman year in college, we did everything together. Tailgate parties, fraternity parties, walked each other to class, planning one of the greatest days of my life. I was finally 18, and his teammates threw me a surprise party. Everything went well for the first few hours, but then, he started getting a little too drunk. I walked… Continue reading »

Drunken Rape

Just a few months ago, April 1st, 2016, I was sexually assaulted. I am 16 years old, and was 15 when it happened. The man was 52… I haven’t seen my friend for a while and wanted to hangout with her, and we had nothing to do for a few hours, so we went on a walk and said we should call one of her other friends to go hangout too. But when we got there the other friend wasn’t there. But he invited us in to stay. He forced us to drink alcohol and stay for hours. Begging for us to stay over I finally got too drunk and had to lay down for a bit. He brought me up stairs and said to lay down for a while. And when I did I fell asleep right away, I woke up to pressure on my chest and a chill on my legs. I had… Continue reading »

I Remember Being Happy

I remember being happy to bump into you and smiling as I spoke to you. I remember feeling good that u invited me in and were not mad at me for staying away. Then I remember thinking that I must have given you the wrong vibe when u wanted to have sex. So I said no again and again! I even said I was serious while trying to keep a firm hold onto the elastic band of my shorts. It didn’t matter because as hard as I held you pulled harder. My fingers hurt from trying to grip so hard. One of us made a scratch across my right hip bone. I froze, not because I wanted to have sex but because I didn’t think I could stop it. I didn’t feel like the same happy 19yr old and I certainly wasn’t prepared to fight someone I thought was a friend, someone I thought was… Continue reading »

A Wolf Hidden In Sheeps Clothing

It was the second semester of my sophomore year in college. I recently just got out of breakup and was still dealing with a loss in my family. Pretty much a depressing stage of my life that I was so willingly eager to escape. I wanted to take on my second semester by storm and heal but I realized I was still hurting and vulnerable. Classes were in session and I shared this a class with a boy that I always found very interesting and attractive. We often became partners on assignments in class and I grew very closer with him. I started opening myself up to him and he did little by little as well but not so much as I did. We became good associates. He would compliment me on my outfits and hair; and sometimes ask to hangout after class with him. I started to like him, he took so much distractions… Continue reading »

A Story

SUNDAY, JANUARY 23, 2011 The night prior marked the 21st birthday of a friend in the grade above myself. I helped him home, fending off his drunk advances, before returning to my freshmen dormitory where I slept alone that night. The sun rose the next day in Boston and last night’s alcohol woke me up early. My best friend and her boyfriend accompanied me to the dining hall for a lazy breakfast. The hot food does not come out until at least 8 or 9am on Sundays so we enjoyed an appetizer of cold cereal. Through our meal we discussed our plans for the chilly January Sunday which did not involve heading to our training facility for any sort of Sunday session. As athletes, we took this Sunday to enjoy college like normal college students with no obligations. We chose to lounge in the room of my best friend’s boyfriend and watch the movie 21… Continue reading »