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Rape by Boyfriend

I never really told anyone the full extent of mine. I was in my first year of college and had severe body issues. I hated myself and was amazed when a couple of guys asked me out. I clicked with one guy and we started hanging out all the time. Before I really knew what was happening we were spending every day together. He made me feel so guilty for spending time with friends but refused to leave the dorm. I wound up sitting inside With him more often than not. I felt obligated to include him. He slowly started leeching his anger into my life. He told me my friends were all using me and would drop me so fast. “You’re beautiful but no one else wants you for anything but sex”, “You dont have any real friends but me”. It was highly damaging for someone who was already heavily depressed. Because of him… Continue reading »

Never Thought It Would Happen to Me

Dear Survivor, I know the bad days outnumber the good ones. Maybe you haven’t even had a good day since it happened. Maybe you feel like your temptations are the only logical way to escape. Maybe you’re ignoring it. I thought ending my life was the only way to escape. And more than once I acted on these feelings. I’m here to assure you that it isn’t. I’m here to remind you that you are not alone. I’m here to tell you my story. I sat in a chair alone, regretting every decision I had made up to this point. It was too dark to see where the room ended. I glanced up at the clock, it was after midnight. Thirty minutes passed. I dropped my underwear onto the blue-tiled floor behind the thin curtain. This was the only article of clothing left on my shaking body as I held back tears. I was being… Continue reading »

Mistaken Identity

Drunk at a party, I guess one of the most common phrases in the stories. I passed out on the couch, with my head on a good friend’s shoulder, and he was equally passed out. When I awoke, we were still on the couch, but I felt funny. My bra was a bit off, and I felt sore down south. Investigating, by panties were inside out, and I found semen. I woke my friend up, and asked him how could he rape me while I was unconscious! He claimed to know nothing, and I refused to believe that! Needless to say, we were no longer friends, and I told everyone! Never stay silent, Right? He got a bad rep, and lost dates from those that heard. Someone heard and e-mailed me a trio of pics. Aside from showing me being graphically raped on the couch, it showed the rapist could not be my friend, who… Continue reading »

Bad Morning

I woke up next to this guy. I don’t know what we did. I didn’t stay to find his name. I am in pain. I am not a virgin. I left him a post-it with my contact info. I need a call to discuss this. I want to back up time a day. — Doreene, age 21

Tulane Law

I was a Junior. I lived in school housing and went to a party at a house 2 blocks from my room. I arrived and one of the guys who lived there asked me to come check out his CD collection. He got aggressive, pushed me against a wall, and I told him I was not interested and I had a long-distance boyfriend. He wasn’t happy, but let me go back to the main room where my friends were. I made it very clear I did not want to have sex with him. I had friends at party and I came with them. About 7 hours later, I “woke up”’ with him inside me. I pushed him off and ran the 2 blocks to my dorm. I still get sick at smell of obsession which was cologne he was wearing. I still can’t handle the smell. My scrunchie (remember when scrunchies where in style?) smelled… Continue reading »

What sent me over the edge

I had just turned 19. I went to a frat party, I was drinking too much because I was stupid and just wanted to fit in. I started dancing and making out with a stranger. He quickly became violent. When I tried to leave, he followed me upstairs and dragged me into a side room. He slammed me against the wall, pulled my leggings down and my shirt up. He held me against the wall with his forearm pressing down on my neck. I completely froze. My screams echoed in my head but I couldn’t make any sound. He started to finger me, then pushed me onto the couch and forced his entire first inside me. Then he got on top of me. I had turned my face into the couch cushions so that I didn’t have to watch. I gave up. I let him spread my legs. He raped me on the couch. He… Continue reading »


On October 29 2016 I was raped after a Halloween party. I had gone back a dorm with my friend and the guy she had been seeing, I was very intoxicated at the time. I stupidly had a threesome with my friend and the guy. After a little while my friend had gone into the main area for some reason, I can’t remember why, I walked in on them making out in the room, I told my friend that Mark*, the guy she was talking to, wanted her to come back to his room, she went back into the room and when I tried to leave his suitemate, I think his name was Brett*, grabbed me and started to kiss me. I remember trying to leave to but sense I had just had sex with Mark and was intoxicated, I had not put clothes back on when I went to find her. He took advantage… Continue reading »

Say Something

My girlfriends and I were going out to a few bars on a Friday night to celebrate a birthday. We were all a little drunk, but no one was out of control. At the second bar, we met up with a few of our guy friends to keep the celebration going. Among all of the men, there was one guy I had never met or seen before. He introduced himself as Antwon, and we all danced and drank the rest of the night together. When the bar closed, Antwon invited everyone back to his place for an after-party. All of my guy friends were going as well as three of my girlfriends. We all piled into two ubers and met back at his place. At this point I started to realize how drunk everyone else was, and how sober I was becoming. He noticed too. He started throwing shots and beers at me, hoping I… Continue reading »

Was it Really Rape

I still hear the little voice in my head questioning it. He was a good guy and just as drunk as I was. He probably didn’t notice that I blacked out. I was angry. He apologized. It’s ok. I’m just as much to blame. We were in college. We dated. I broke up with him. He just wanted to get back together. I broke his heart. I was the asshole. We’re still friends. That’s so cool. It wasn’t a big deal. It was a mistake. I got an abortion. I made him pay for it. That was payback. That was fucked up of me. I’m a terrible person. It’s my fault. I should have left early. I should’ve brought a friend. I should not have drank so much. I was so stupid. I should have said no before blacking out. Did I want to? I don’t think so, but maybe I did. I can’t remember…. Continue reading »

23 year old virgin

In 1996, I was attending graduate school and lived in my own apartment. I was 23 years old, a virgin, and a Muslim man from Ghana who played soccer on campus. One night, he entered my apartment, pinned me to the ground, and raped me. I saw white light and God said “this is not your body.” When I came to, he was at the door smiling down on me. I screamed, “I was a virgin!” I looked down at all the blood and took a long hot shower. I was shaking and felt cold. I was so angry and am still angry because I was a virgin. Twenty years later, that man was my doctor in the emergency room of another city. He bent over my bare chest and said “let me listen to your precious heart.” Tears rolled down my cheeks as I smelled him. He smells like the cologne TABU. I am… Continue reading »