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When I was in first or second grade I was molested by a girl in my neighborhood. I wasn’t the only one though. This also happened to my cousin when she’d occasionally visit. I’m going to call the girl who did this A because that’s what her name started with. A was my dad’s bestfriends daughter so I saw alot of her. She was about 4 years older than me. A would come over all the time and we’d play in my back yard with my dog but I had a little play house in my backyard as well so being the girly girl I was I’d always wanna play house. A would always make me play the boy though and one day when we were playing she decided to show me what “husbands and wives” do. She and I got up on the small little loft in the play house and she grabbed my… Continue reading »

He over stepped the mark

You have left me empty, My feelings never the same again, Trust is a thing of the past, When you over stepped that mark, Right and wrong so confused to me, Blurred feelings between love and hurt, How can I find out if and when you loved me as your girl? Years along the line and I still feel this loss, My childhood and love is gone, It will never return the same, Adult hood carrying this memory around mixed emotions about life to follow, I want to be free, I want to be loved in the right way, And I want to love right and know it’s ok, I am strong, I will live my life happy, and I will love, Starting with loving my children the right way, I learnt from you of what not to do, You are wrong and suffer the consequences , you may be free now but inside you… Continue reading »

Family rape

I’m so lost. All my life I have seen and herd stories about girls being raped, touched, all sorts of unwanted physical interaction. But never in my wildest dreams did I ever think It was going to be me. I always knew how to prevent situations like those from evolving or getting to that point. But when its someone so close to you, family even. How do you even begin to speak about it. — Survivor, age 17

Youth Sexual Harrassment

Everybody always talks about how when they got to their 16, 17, 18, and 19 years, and how they faced sexual harassment almost daily, but no one ever talks about how it starts much sooner. I’ve been experiencing sexual harassment since at least fourth grade. In fourth grade (I went to a rough school), kids were discovering twerking, or, as it was called at the time, the “booty dance” (stupid, I know, but we were fourth grade). Guys would go to the curviest girl in the grade (me) and ask them to do the booty dance for them. If we didn’t, they would threaten us. Petty little things, like “I’ll steal your homework and shove it in the toilet” or “I won’t let you out on the playground” but in fourth grade, those were awful threats. So, I learned how to twerk and entertain the boys. In sixth grade, I was walking to my desk,… Continue reading »

Rape Being Considered a “Joke”

Dear Readers, I am anonymous for a reason that me revealing this story is a danger to my life. The reason for this is because the rapist is somebody with high power. They are the son of this (something). I don’t know. I just know that for a fact that they have enough power not to get kicked out of cadets for rape. Now I will begin my story. I’m not sure if you all know but cadets actually features boarding camps. These camps each have a unique feature. The one that I went to was a 6 week camp which featured teaching others to shoot and to do some shooting yourselves. Being in a mass people camp, I was placed in a tent with 9 others who were well decent people. Each of us worked well for the first week, we were mostly good buddies. As you know, the second week was when it… Continue reading »

Abused since I was young

It all started when I was very young, just starting in school. My cousin and aunt lived with my grandparents, and we were always over visiting. One night I had to stay the night and was put in my cousins’ room, he’s 7 years older than I. He made me sleep against the wall, right next to the window without a shade. I thought I was going to fall out the window and out onto the pool. As I was almost asleep he pushed his body against the back of mine and told me to be quite. I was so young I didn’t know what to think. He next put his hand between my legs and started rubbing them. Then he pulled down my pants in the back and tired to penetrate me. I laid there for a few moments then told him I had to use the bathroom. I ran out the door and… Continue reading »

Unknown Abuse by Biological Father

I was 3, and the abuse went on for a few months. I’m 16 now and the only details I know are from papers that were used in court. My mom protected me, and got a restraining order. He was mine and my brother’s biological father, not my sister’s. He touched her too, but not as much, this stopped after one occasion, and she controlled the situation. I was too young to defend myself, and he manipulated me into thinking it was how he showed me, he loved me. I didn’t know, I was abused until my family told me, I just thought my PTSD, everyone had. It was and still is incredibly hard to process. I never got justice because the evidence wasn’t sustained so he doesn’t have to feel like it happened and I have to live with depression and anxiety etc… I recently read through all these papers, how he touched me,… Continue reading »

Childhood abuse and acquaintance rape

I wanted to mention my childhood abuse and acquaintance rape later on in the same story, believing that there is a strong connection between both. I will speculate on a subject some more as the story progresses. First that was my father, who used to tell me amazing bedtime stories after I would jump happily into my parents bed. This evening my mom was at work and I was ready for my fairy tale that turned out to be a nightmare hard for me to shake off 50 years later. Heavy, worm, sticky subject laying on my thigh. I can still pin point the exact place. Feeling of fear and confusion. Subconscious realization that something bad happened but not being able to deal with it being a child- loving and respectfully obedient to adults, to authority. Incomprehension, shame and fear of causing conflict between my parents stopped me from telling my mom. Similar situation happened… Continue reading »

Touched by my cousin

I was ten years old, my cousin was fourteen. I remember I was sleeping in his younger sisters room when he came in to see me. I remember waking up with his hand on my vagina and his tongue in my mouth. As soon as I woke up he had backed off. He told me he was looking for his DVD. I was in shock and just sat there. I couldn’t believe what had happened so I had no reply. He left the room and his younger sister was there laying beside me sleeping. For some reason I didn’t let it bother me and I went back to sleep. Later that night he came back in. He told me he wanted something from me. He was almost in tears. I knew what he wanted and I was scared. Luckily I told him that if he took a step nearer I’d scream. He left me. I… Continue reading »

Remember as a victim you have done nothing wrong

There are so many opinions. She wore a short skirt. She didn’t say no. She wanted it. Yep… I believe it can be complicated unless you are in the middle of the situation. Then it is very clear. You have said yes or no, or your body has indicated yes or no, very clearly. Historically, silence meant – I abstain. I will not partake. When did silence begin to imply consent? I was talking with a taxi driver recently and he said, from the age of 10 we had clear ideas of what was right and wrong. We knew we should or shouldn’t. There was no doubt. Maybe others were never taught the line or the lines they grew up in were changing. Daily. For me, there are many stories that I can share… many. I don’t share with my friends or family as they will see me as a victim. Then I will suffer… Continue reading »