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Did I ask for it?

I am 22 and I am a survivor of 2 sexual assaults. The first takes place when I was young, perhaps around 5 or 6. My mum had gone out for the evening with a friend and so she had asked another of her friends to babysit for her. I remember being in bed, I shared a room with my sister who is 2 years my senior. We were in bunk beds and were in bed for the night. The next thing I remember is him coming in, he was wearing nothing but a red towel, I assumed he had just had a bath. He walked over to the bunk beds and opened his towel, he told me to touch him. The rest is a blur, I don’t remember him leaving that room and we never told my mum what had happened that night. The next story takes place only a few months ago. I… Continue reading »

I met evil at a young age

Hi. I’m Marie and I’m 16 years old. I’m a victim of sexual assault. Rape. It happened when I was eleven years old. About a month before my 12th birthday. I knew this guy from a park I used to play in with my friends. He was a couple years older than me. One day I stole his baseball cap just for fun… I never knew what that little thing could lead to. Obviously, he was faster and stronger so he got me pretty fast and took it back. I laughed but he was pissed. When it was time to go home, I walked alone and it was dark, I didn’t realize he was following me. Then it happened. I didn’t exactly know what it was, but I remember that it hurt. God damn, it hurt so much. Every single day, from that day, it has crossed my mind at least once a day. I… Continue reading »

Broken

So I had started the 9th grade in the fall of 2016. There was this one boy who seemed to be a cool guy so I thought I would talk to him and get to know him Now off the bat many classmates( females mainly ) thought he was ugly and a fuckboy but I didn’t care for it that much because I thought he was really funny and I wasn’t trying to date him at the time. So a month goes by and by October we are like best friends, we tell each other everything and we have a bunch of inside jokes and everyone thought we should date because everyone thought we were “goals”. But we never saw each other like that. Around December I was on the phone with him and he was telling me that there was a girl that he was going to try to date because he said he… Continue reading »

Do you remember your first time?

Do you remember your “first time”? That special moment you shared with someone who loved you. Did you feel safe? Comfortable? Was it his first time too? Did it come natural to you, or was it as awkward as people say it can be? These are all questions I will never get to answer. Questions I will never know the answers to. I remember my first time. I think about it everyday. Not in the nostalgic kind of way, but more of a nightmare. I wish I could look back on my childhood and smile. But I just wish I could forget it all. The pain, the confusion, the guilt. Yes guilt. So much guilt. The first sexual encounter I had happened when I was 9 years old. I had no idea what people were capable of, and I had no idea how much it would haunt me. It is hard to say the words… Continue reading »

I never knew he was Satan

I was 17 and was dumped twice so I was taking a break from finding my soulmate. I was really happy being single and just wanted to catch up on me. But after a while, I felt lonely. All of my friends had relationships and I felt jealous because they were going on dates and I didn’t have a guy. So one day, my friends invited me to their house to hang out and meet guys. I went and met a guy. We started talking and he introduced himself. He was really cute, tall, dark and handsome. I told him my name and we exchanged numbers after we talked for hours. I figured he’d never call and I will never see him again. I was wrong. He called that night and we talked on the phone for hours. He texted me right when we hung up and invited me to hang out with him. I… Continue reading »

Raped at 14

I was raped when I was 14. I was at a friends house and he was a guy. His mom went out to go shopping for a little bit and left us there. I didn’t think anything was gonna happen because we were friends. 2 of his friends came over and sat on the couch right next to me on each side. They got really close and I tried to get up and move but they pulled me back down. I asked them if they could scoot over a little bit and they came closer. One started to unzip his pants and I knew what was happening. I screamed as loud as I could and then my friend covered my mouth. I couldn’t believe he was helping them. I was held down and raped by both of them. Once they were done, They told me if I told anyone they would hurt me and I… Continue reading »

Memories

I am a 23 y/o male. For the longest time, the memory of my rape remained untouched in the corners of my mind. I can’t quite remember the age that I was, but based on the context clues of my memory I would put myself around age 10. I had just showered, it was morning and I walked through the house to the second level bedroom I shared with my brother who is two years older than me. I remember laying down on my stomach on top of my sky blue towel down on the bedroom floor. My next memory is of my brother commenting on the way I looked, before I know it he is behind me and he is grappling for an article of clothing that he had stolen from some classmate of his and tells me to “put it on so that I look more like a girl” In what seemed like… Continue reading »

I blamed myself for so long

Rape. That’s something that I always heard of, but never really thought that it would happen to me. Everyone assumes rape is forced and you’re being held captive, it’s not all that. When I was 14, I started dating this guy. He had asked me multiple times before if I wanted to have sex with him, I told him no and left it be. I went over to his house a lot, and this one time a few weeks later, I decided that I wanted to have sex. I was 14 and a virgin. We went to his bedroom, and we had sex. I didn’t think much of it, well every week he would ask me if I wanted to have sex, I told him no multiple times and he would keep asking. I gave in every time, and we ended up having sex every time I went to his house. This one specific time,… Continue reading »

Sexually Assaulted Or Not?

I just keep having nightmares of this, like I have PTSD and I keep reviving things that happen to me in the past, so what happened was that I was traveling to Dominican Republic and I met this guys, they were always flirting with me and my sister, two if them always tried to touch me inappropriately, I didn’t like it but I never thought it was able to tell anyone because then I would look like a hoe, I was just scared, but I never said anything and just acted cool, but one day it went too far, so I was at their house minding my business in a room by myself, which I now realize it was not the best idea, it was very stupid, and one of the guys came in and he laid next to me, I was like “dont even try” and he said “lets just talk” (or something like… Continue reading »

Broken Girl

It all started when I was nine years old and I was sent to foster care. My foster mom had two older sons and they would each take turns touching on me and making me touch them. My foster mom would make me sleep in the same bed with them every night except when we had visitors. I left foster care when I was eleven years old. I thought it would finally be over. That following year on New Years Eve, my cousin made me touch his private area. He would tell me that when I went to sleep he would F**k the S**t out of me and put his thing in my mouth. I never told my mom because she had previously accused me of having sex with him. One day I woke up to his fingers inside me. He would talk about what he did to me with two of my other cousins… Continue reading »