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Molested as a Child

I was very young at the time. Not for sure exactly but I was younger than 9. My babysitter left her son to watch me really quick while she ran an errand. I asked him for a snack and he told me to sit on top of him and he would give me one. I had to take of my pants and underwear so he could touch me down there. I believe this happened twice as far as I can remember. We were then caught….. well at least I was. He blamed me for coming out of the bathroom without my pants on and I got sat in a corner. I remember crying and trying to tell my babysitter what happened but her son won. My mom asked me what happened later that day but I told her nothing happened. I didn’t know it was bad since I was a child and didn’t know any… Continue reading »

These Men are More Protected Than We Are

I can’t tell names. I can’t publicly announce who they were because they’re protected by a law that says I could be sued for defamation. This makes me so angry! I was the one that was harassed, manipulated, attacked. And yet every one of them walks free. These men. Many men. As young as I can remember, it was my brother. My mother swept it under the carpet and I was never allowed to speak up. We pretended he never. He got away with it. Then there was my step father’s friend. I was only a pre-teen. He was an older Hungarian man. Then my horse back riding teacher and friend. I was 15. He was 35. I got pregnant. My mother called me a little slut and took me to have an abortion. I can still hear the beating heart. My mother is still friends with this man. I worked at a cellphone company…. Continue reading »

Heart broken

I was 16 years old at the time and the boyfriend that I was with for a year had just told me he lost feelings. My best friend, her boyfriend and his friends always had “bros nights”. I was invited by my best friends boyfriend so he picked me up at my house around 2 am. I had to sneak out my parents would never let me go out that late. So I got in his car and was wondering where everyone else is. He told me he wanted to talk to me about something. He drove out to the beach and we walked on the dock. When we got to the end he dared me to go skinny dipping and that’s when I knew something was wrong. So I started walking back to the car my excuse was that I was cold. So I got in the car and he started touching me inappropriately…. Continue reading »

Fear Became a Part of My Life

When I was 9 years old I was sexually abused by the man who was my grandma’s husband (but he wasn’t exactly my grandfather). I remember it perfectly. It was at night. My grandma was in the bathroom. And it all happened in just a couple of minutes. At first he was tickling me and I was laughing…but then it happened. He put his hand inside my PJs and started touching me. I knew it was wrong. And I hated it. I still remember his exact words: “Let’s keep this beautiful secret.” And I nodded. Just to play along for my own safety. But I felt so filthy. So disgusted by this whole act. And I wasn’t going to keep quiet. I was terrified. So I waited ’till he fell asleep and since he, my grandma and I were sharing a bed, I told her. She was shocked and told me to wait until the… Continue reading »

God Saved Me

The Lord saved me and my son from death. My boyfriend (his daddy) was a drunk and I was afraid to leave since he told me that he would hunt me down if I did so. The lord knew that I couldn’t take it anymore so he sent him home. My son now has brain damage due to his father and I have nightmares — Survivor, age 27

I said no

I was 16 and “in love”. I thought I knew the “love of my life”. He was so sweet to me how could someone like that hurt me? I was over his house and we were watching tv and cuddling. Then he started touching me and trying to take off my clothes. I told him no and that I didn’t want to, But he insisted. He didn’t listen I kept telling him no & he just kept on going like he didn’t even hear anything. I lost my virginity to him previously so I guess it didn’t matter to him cause he thought I’d always stay. After he finished I dressed myself and just ran for the door. I refused to let myself think of it as rape. We’ve done it before & we love each other right? That can’t count as rape. But after reading some of these strong woman’s posts I realized I… Continue reading »

I was raped and didn’t know

Hi, my name is Marcela and I’m a 21 year old girl from Brazil. I was 13 years old and had a “boyfriend”. It was that childhood kind of boyfriend, that we barely kissed. One day I was with a girlfriend at my place and she invited her boyfriend over. Just so I wouldn’t be alone, I invited mine as well. Once they were there, she decided to lose ver virginity. She wen’t to a close bathroom. J. (my boyfriend) looked at me and said “other we go as well, or I’ll leave you” – I was still a virgin and very innocent. A innocent girl who was in love with a stupid boy. So I accepted. While it was happening, it wasn’t comfortable AT ALL. I was disgusted, crying a lot, but too afraid to do anything. I asked him to stop and he didn’t. Once I told my mom, she said it was… Continue reading »

It Lead to More Memories

I hate myself for what happened. I know it was my fault no matter what people could say to convince me otherwise. I was very depression and suicidal. I was self harming. I finally came clean to my family about the self destructive path I was running and I was sent to a psych hospital. There I met him. He was obnoxious and I was not physically attracted to him. But my mind was sick and twisted and I found something alluring about him. After we both got out I went to his house and he made out with me. I know I didn’t want to but I was caught up in it. We had a rocky relationship in and out of communication. Eventually, on September 21st 2014 I went to his apartment. We had been planning to have sex and I brought the condoms. When I got there I was terrified. I wanted to… Continue reading »

We Were Kids

I have a hard time saying that I was sexually abused. In all my sixteen years, it’s been programmed into me that sexual abuse is something that older guys do to girls. That’s the stereotype, anyway. But that’s not quite how it works. Anyone can be a victim and anyone can be an abuser. My abusers took the form of two young girls, my own age. You see, that’s why I have a hard time calling it abuse. How crazy does it sound that a couple of little girls sexually abused another little girl? We were just kids, right? Well, it doesn’t feel like it. We were in first grade. They were sisters that had been abused by their father. And they did the same to me. I can’t remember very many details, just that the first time I was scared because I thought we would get in trouble. I remember that the girls built… Continue reading »

Memories

My life have been a real roller coaster ride that I wish would end but I’m starting to deal with the pain. When I was about 3 or 4 I can remember my uncle sexually touching me and kissing me I don’t remember him penetrating me, though I can remember his disgusting pleasure of what he was doing and me not liking it just laying there. He did it to my older sister too but he stopped doing it to her but continued doing it to me my sister knew he was doing it to me too but never said anything. After a few years when I was 8 my older cousin came to live with us he was bout 15. He use to be so fun to hang around and as a kid I loved to play around. Sometimes I would see him give me really sexual looks but never really thought of it… Continue reading »