Growing up in the country with my mom and her boyfriend with my brother. My mom always let her boyfriend do anything he wanted to me when I was younger. She wound take me to my grandfather’s house and it would be the same way as it was at home he could do as he pleased. At age 11 I ended geting pregnant and my mother told the doctor that i didn’t know who the dad was but in all odds I knew who the dad was. But i was told to keep my mouth shut and that the baby would be given away to the adoption sence i was so young. And had no say so in what happens to the baby. But after the baby was born nothin seemed to change expect her make sure I was placed on birth control. Then started being raped again by her boyfriend on the daily bases… Continue reading »
Believe it or Not, It happened to me
was raped 29 years ago. I was Party Raped, Gang Raped, whatever you want to call it. 1989 I was 14, and raped by my ex boyfriend and 2 of his friends (who I had never spoke to). I will save all the details. I was Drunk, beyond drunk, and already passed out on a mattress on the floor, I believe now my ex done this for revenge, I really don’t know. I didn’t report it because I was not supposed to be where I was, and definitely not suppose to be drunk. Also how embarrassing would it be for a 14 year old girl living in the Bible Belt of the South to have to let everybody know what happened, the details are awful enough, I was too drunk to fight, I couldn’t even sit up. And the MESSED up part is I still had feelings for my ex. Long story short,he was my… Continue reading »
When i was stripped of my innocence
when i was younger, about 6/7, an older man (about 17) approached me at a park late at night and told me my pants were undone and that he would help me do them up, he brought me to a park bench and proceeded to stick his hand down my pants and feel my private area. I was so young and didn’t understand what was happening but i knew i didnt like it. I grabbed his hand from out of my pants and started crying and running home. To this day my parents don’t know it happened, i told them i was crying because it was dark out (because it was about 8pm) and it haunts me everyday. The memory is so vivid and i cant get it out of my head. I hope this man was caught and i hope he never did this to any other little girls.
5 years now
I have noticed that 5 years now i have become really afraid of men , people and everyone in general .I had tried to make myself think that that’s happening because somewhere someone made fun of me .Thats a lie . When i was younger , everyone who tried to make fun of me was being humiliated by me i was a fierce and outspoken girl In my senior year some guys flirted with me 3-4 times by telling me that i was pretty telling me that they want yo sleep with me and that a friend of them likes me Again i was afraid and i thought that was because they were mocking me or because i was not used to flirting .The cause was different. I was started to remembering that i had been molested at 14 and my fear of men exists since then and all these years i was fooling myself…. Continue reading »
His life ended tragically, but my pain lives on.
I was 4 and living in a cramped 3 bedroom apartment with 7 relatives, namely my aunt, uncles and grandmother. My parents worked hard at their factory jobs to pay off their own home and to earn a decent wage to support our family. They will visit me in the evenings and then return home. Being the only child at the time, I will play pretend in my grandmothers’ clothes and liked to pretend that I was a schoolteacher. I don’t suppose that I had much attention because everyone was busy with their own lives. In my country and society, caning and hitting children was de rigueur and I had already experienced that at age 4 by the adults in that household. One day while my grandmother was doing the dishes, I repeatedly asked her to help me with something but she kept saying no. Out of nowhere, my uncle came towards me and kicked… Continue reading »
My message to all
As I heard the news that Kavanaugh made it into the supreme court, my heart sank. My husband, who follows politics relentlessly, was furious but I was silent and went on with my day. Getting angry would mean that I would have to really think about what this event means to me… and of course I eventually became angry. The anger is partially about Kavanaugh but mostly about the reaction that men have a scary road ahead. If this is you, please read with an open and heart and mind as this idea may affect those you love much more than you know. I do not know that Kavanaugh is guilty of sexual assault, but if he is I really hope he reads this too. If you believe that all of this sexual assault talk is unfair to men then my counter argument is that it is not fair that I have to push out… Continue reading »
Gang molestation
I have such a long list of incidences where I was violated, throughout my childhood into my adulthood….I can only drudge it up in small doses.. 1975 San Gabriel Valley, grade 1 walking home from school: I was gang molested by several boys; one of them had a baseball bat and it was made clear that I would be hit on the head with it, if I did not comply with their demands; I was frightened. The worst part, was the ring leader, L.B. lived just up the street, from my me, and we had been child friends since diaper-hood.. the latest # is “why I did not report”; I did not have to report, everyone knew and I was to blame; since the boy L.B. lived up the street, he continued to be integrated into my neighborhood community of kids; we played together and with other kids as if he had not hurt me;… Continue reading »
Sexually Assaulted as a Child
Im a 39 year old woman from India. I was sexually abused at 8 years old by my 15 year old cousin for a period of 6 months. My cousin lived with his mother in the same apartment building as my family. We used to visit each other’s homes quite frequently since his mother is my dad’s sister. My parents worked full time and I was in the care of a stay at home nanny. All was well in my childhood till I reached the third grade. Those were days when telephone has recently been introduced across homes in India. My family got a phone as well and as a curious child, I was excited to receive phone calls from friends and relatives. And so it happened one day. I heard the phone ring and it was my cousin on the other side. He asked me to go upstairs to his apartment to “play”. An… Continue reading »
Case Closed
My situation could have been far worse than it was and because it wasn’t, it is sometimes viewed as not being “that bad.” However, for me, what made it “that bad” was that, one, I wasn’t believed and two, the case was closed before it was even open because of his occupation. I was sexually assaulted when I was 11, several months shy of my 12th birthday. I was well-developed for my age and although I looked older, I was still a child. A friend, who was a year younger, and I were walking across our elementary school parking lot one afternoon as we took a walk around the block; we were literally just around the corner from our homes in a safe and wonderful neighborhood. The lot faced a fairly busy street and had 2 ways to get in and out. A turquoise car pulled into the lot and pulled up close to us…. Continue reading »
Fear
Today is the day that I have to face my fears. I don’t know how to start but I know that I have to tell my story for even one person who has been through the same things and thinks that his story doesn’t count. Just like I did some months earlier. Through my life as a young adult know I have been groped a couple of times something that it can be seen as a typical guy thing and I have had guys teasing me about some creepy sexual stuff. I believe that these things have not traumatized me because I was not that young but Even now years later I remembered the one time I was a teen and someone touched me. It ruined me. It changed my personality. Made me lost trust in men and people in general. Made my anxiety appeared. For years I thought that this event is something similar… Continue reading »