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Nobody Knows

As a little girl I used to stay at my grandparents house every weekend where one of my older cousins also stayed. We played all the time and got along great. From the age of around 8/9 I remember playing with this same cousin at my dads house (I think we used to play teachers) but something started to feel different… he used to tell me to sit on the bed and play and eventually told me to lay down next to him. Me being around the age of 8 thought nothing of this and done as he said. He stared to lower his hand towards my underwear to which I remember the first time getting up and asking him to finish playing teachers with me (I think part of me knew it was wrong and didn’t want it to continue). This went on for a few weeks until one weekend he put his hands… Continue reading »

Broken

I’m so broken I can’t be fixed. They just don’t know it yet. The man who knew everything about me makes me sad. I feel as though the only reason I was born was to witness the three incidents. I’m too damaged to fix!! — Dee, age 48

Stayed Silence

We were close friends. I never thought this could happen to me, but I was wrong. We were hanging out one day. We decide to go to his house, he stayed he need help with homework and I agree and I went. Everything was calm and normal. Out of nowhere he started to touch me. I told him to stop. I notice he wasn’t acting the same. There was something off about him. I ask him if he was okay and he said yeah. He grabbed my arm hard and I was freaking out. He started to kiss me and I told him to stop but he didn’t. I remember everything he did. He forces me to have sex with him and if I didn’t he would tell our friend and his friend he slept with me and make rumor up and I didn’t want people to know what happen. Everything he ask, he would… Continue reading »

Dee Bhagwanji

When we lived in Tooting, England we were all happy. I was such a nerd because I hated weekends because that meant no school!! Everything was good until one day something changed. I just remember one of the people I called uncle, pulled out his thing and asked me if I wanted to touch it. I don’t remember anything after that. I just know that what he did was wrong!! My mum doesn’t know and she will never know. I haven’t confronted him, because his son is my brother. I love him and I wouldn’t want to hurt him. EVER!! Sam, Sags and Yags are my brothers and I still feel close to them even though we’re thousands of miles apart. However, when I saw this person in London I felt physically sick and immediately had a panic attack. Jamie took me outside and calmed me down. That’s the beginning. Then things got worse. We… Continue reading »

I didn’t enderstand what was happening

When I was 5 I was sexually abused by a son of a friend of the family. He was around 15. I barely remember the details of what happened and of what I remember no evidence to convict the young man with. It was around 6 and the sun had begun to go down and I was staying at the family friends’ house for the day and his parents decided to go inside as it was getting late and he and I stayed playing in the front yard. I remember he tackled me and told me to be quiet and that he would beat me up if I told anyone. I didn’t tell anyone until I was 10 and realized how wrong what happened was. — Survivor, age 17

Nothing for Nothing

My mother remarried. I never liked him. He installed new security systems, smoke alarms, carbon monoxide alarms, clocks, and thermostats, in every room, including the bathrooms and garage. I felt like he was watching 24/7. I started making some money, babysitting and cleaning, and sometimes I needed a ride to where the bus didn’t go. He picked me up, but he wanted a share. I needed all I had made, he had another plan. He parked. I mean found an isolated area, and started kissing me. Then hard kissing with tongues. He felt me up, and had me feel him. I felt like a hooker, except that he would want more from that. Whenever I needed more cash, he would take me out in the car. My mother had to stop my allowance to go to bills, and he was there to drive me once a week, and I would keep my allowance. I needed… Continue reading »

I can’t keep quiet anymore

I can’t keep quiet any longer. I feel proud that as a community of empowered and insanely badass women, we are finally taking that leap of courage and speaking out against an act that we should have never feared. At the time, one doesn’t see it as an assault or harassment because it’s just the way it’s always been. Men have been brought up to do and say whatever they please and as women, we have bitten our tongues to not “act out.” I was 14 and he was probably in his early 40s. He was and is my uncle. Growing up in such a toxic environment as my father’s family has proven to be, it’s really simple and easy to just regard anything that occurred in that family as “normal.” PTSD is a real thing when it comes to these extreme acts and at the time, you really don’t know how to react to… Continue reading »

3rd Grade Boys

I was in the third grade when a classmate ran up behind me, put his hand down the front of my shirt and squeezed my chest and shoulders and yelled, “Nice shoulders BABE!” I yelled at him to stop, but he and his friend had already ran off, giggling as if they had just egged someone’s house. My 8 year old mind couldn’t process what had just happened. I just stood there and hung my head. like a scolded puppy. I felt dirty, embarrassed, and confused. I wondered if I was supposed to feel this way or if it was just another “boys will be boys” incident? A few days later, I decided that I *really* wanted that punk to get in trouble for what he did. I didn’t care anymore if it was typical for a boy to squeeze a girls (non-existent) boobs and shoulders. I wanted revenge! So, I did what most kids… Continue reading »

Sexual harrassment

I was 15. I earned a letter in a sport at high school, wasn’t able to attend because I had blown out my knee in practice the day before. The next day, my teacher/coach said to me that if I came to his car after school, I could have my letter. He had made some remarks before that were creepy.Then, we had a party for the whole class in the room after a major test. We got to bring records. I borrowed (the only time I ever asked for anything from him) a record from my brother to take to the party. This teacher/coach took the record. He said I could go with him to his home after school and he’d give me the record. I told my brother I had lost it. He was ‘courting’ my brother for business/friendship and my brother really didn’t give a damn about what had happened to me. I… Continue reading »

My experience as an intern in highschool

I was a senior at Towson High School in 1970. I was allowed to be an intern for half the day in my chosen interest. I was a member of DECCA, and did well, so I spent half the school day at the Towson Times, a member at the time of Stromberg Publications in Maryland. I was a bright student working at Towson Times, doing everything from drawing cartoons for the paper, as well as going around to ad sales with the top salesperson …one day, this person took me to my house during our sales run to my house in Hampton…we went in, went to get a book…he came with me, and I turned around and saw his penis out and he asked me to quote blow him…next day went to my intern job and I thought bravely went to the editor of the Towson Times and told the story…the editor said, that is… Continue reading »