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Rubbing my scars

I am six years old. I think. It’s unclear my exact age because my parents never talked about it growing up and the legal records are now sealed. I am six, give a take a few years, and I am sitting on my bedroom floor between my bed and the wall. I’m not wearing pants and my legs are spread apart. He is sitting across from me, his hair is slicked back, in a pony tail. He uses his fingers to spread the lips of vagina apart. He is inspecting it. He has to lower his head to see what is down there, in there. Sticking his fingers inside me, he opens my vagina up. He inspects me with his eyes and fingers. He is ten years older than I am and my babysitter. Where is my younger brother while this is happening? Is he with my parents? Where are they? What are they doing?… Continue reading »

Supe que fue un abuso cuando ya era demasiado tarde…

Cuando tenia 5-6 años, no recuerdo la edad exacta, un primo mio de unos 17 años solia sentarme en sus piernas y frotarse sus partes conmigo. Nunca intentó tener relaciones conmigo pero fue algo que me afectó por años. No sabía si debía contarlo o no porque no sabía ni siquiera qué era el sexo, qué era el placer sexual, no sabía nada de eso. Recuerdo que entendí lo que había pasado cuando recibí educación sexual en la primaria. Pareciera algo sin importancia pero me marco por años. Hoy tengo 35 años y hasta hace poco le conté a mi mamá. Esto afectó mucho mi vida sexual, pero ya no tenía caso enfrentar a mi agresor, solo he evitado tener que verlo. A veces me he dado cuenta de que la mayor parte de mi vida he tratado de pasar desapercibida, nunca me gusto que me alagaran ni llamar la atención. Es algo muy muy… Continue reading »

I Came Home

I came home from school, funny because it was the same time everyday from the same bus. I walked in our house, and down the hall. The door was open so I could see my Dad was on top of my 5 year old sister, between her legs, and attempting sex. When our Mom passed, she made me promise to do anything to protect my sister. Being 12, I told our Dad to leave her alone. He could have it from me instead. I went to his room, so we could have our rooms to go safely, and got on his bed, removing my underwear. Dad had no issues exchanging partners. When he was finished, I took a shower, and started dinner like nothing was new or different. I treated it like a house chore. Whenever Dad wanted, I would go to his room, and then went to whatever I had to do next. Never… Continue reading »

How Many Times?

I have been raped, I don’t know anymore whether I admit, or declare it. My first time, also my first time, was on a date with my boyfriend. We were making out, and he went up my shirt, and I stopped him with a no. He kept trying until he got to 2nd base, and then went under the shirt, and an emphatic no didn’t stop his hands. I included a no at each stage, through penetration, intercourse and orgasm. my opinion was clear, and unimportant. On Monday, he had a date with a classmate, and we weren’t committed, in that order. Less than a week later, we had the stereotypical rivals football game, which we lost in the fourth. Walking home, through a playground in the minor creek and woods, I ran into a guy. He was from the other school, from his jacket. He was cute, nicely built, hot butt. He was charming,… Continue reading »

Because of you

i used to be an innocent child that now no longer exists because of you i use to be a happy kid always talking to everyone protect myself from everything and move freely and then you came an took everything from that kid I became afraid of everyone that reminded me of you and what you did to me .I am still blaming myself for what you did i still doubt myself an my actions probably because i didn’t stop you then. 4 year later I still remember your dirty hand on my body in a place full of strangers looking at me with that disgusting look I am still afraid being around a lot of men. But because of you i am a stronger girl I am better and tougher. Because of you i lost a part of me the part of me which thought that the word was a place full of joy… Continue reading »

My story

I was conceived from rape my dad was taught women are property of the husband ,and he was also taught that it’s in the Bible to rape his wife , after I was born I was molested at 6 months by my bro in law who continued to molest me until nine years old , I was also raped and molested by my bro ,and old sis , this continued into my 20’s , I was told men have the right to rape it’s their need , I was also told there nothing I could do about it sense my parents claimed it was their religion , to believe that I was property and that I was subsquented to anything they do to me until I was 18 , I had to teach them that is wrong and it’s abuse ,but sadly they didn’t listen , they pimp me out for food ,drugs ,clothes ,… Continue reading »

Healing takes time

Everything started of age 7 and lasted up to when I had turned 12. It’s a hard thing to talk about now that I look back at it, but if I learned one thing, it’s that releasing all that negativity helps spread light into oneself. At such a young age, something so precious from me was stolen, my innocence. My grandfather used to touch me inappropriately and tell me things I didn’t want to hear. He’d make me touch him in places. He’d reveal things that should not have been told to a child. One day I had enough and told my family about it, it was a long time before I had told anyone, but we decided not to press charges due to the illness my grandma was suffering at the time. That was the last time I had talked about that subject since it made me feel uncomfortable. My mother mentioned that he’d… Continue reading »

Feels like i am drowning

My first encounter with anything sexual was at 7 when an older guy i used to play with india pinned me to a wall and kissed me. I didn’t really understand what as going on but i felt disgusted by his actions. A year later i moved to a different town and there was this older neighbor uncle who groped my boobs (didn’t even have any at this point) while we were playing cards. Again it was disgusting to me but no one seemed to notice. I had developed anorexia at this point but no one really noticed. I moved to USA with my family at 12 and my cousin (who was 17) started molesting me, it lasted for 2-3 years. He used to live right next door and came over all the time because our grandparents lived with my family. He used to touch me everywhere, kissed me on the mouth and made me… Continue reading »

Molest

Hey, guys. So, yeah… I’ve been keeping these feelings of anger and betrayal in for too long, and I’ve decided to finally share my story. Since a very young age, my parents taught me that my (woman part) is mine, and no one should ever get to touch it WITHOUT my consent. So, I guess I knew it was wrong, but sadly when you’re that young, you don’t really know what the meaning of the word ‘molest’ is. So, I remember I was 6 at the time and my mom’s work friend/ best friend offered to look after someone’s house while they were away, and we slept over with her at the house. Unfortunately her (at that time) boyfriend decided to tag along as well… So we went out to visit their friends as we were looking after the house and I remember at that time I used to have a favorite blanket that had… Continue reading »

All men are the same

I’m 16 now and it all started when I was 4/5 My dad passed out when I was 4 and my mom start working.I was young and can’t take care of myself therefore my mom always take me at work with her.There was a man at my mom workplace who act really nice with me but when my mom was not around He touch my private part, I was young at that time and don’t have any idea of these type of things..Later my mom marry a man,He was really nice and loving. My mom’s brother also started to live with us And He always make me lay on him and touch me or make me touch his private part ..That time I still don’t have any idea..Later my dear brother born but my step dad leaves us because of an other lady and my mom start to work and My mom’s brother also move… Continue reading »