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Your never stop hurting me till your gone

I barely knew you. You only just came back to your family. You were supposed to be a fun loving uncle but instead you hurt me. I was a week away from being 15 and you knew what you were doing was wrong, so why’d you do it. My uncle recently split with his wife and moved back in with my grandma and every one in my family was excited to see him again. Last time I saw him I was 13 and he got my older sister drunk when my parents weren’t around. Before that I hadn’t seen him since I was about 8 so i was excited too. Let me just say that he is a photographer who only takes pictures of dancers about my age. Anyway so while my step day was away for work for 3 weeks my mom sent me and my sisters to my grandmas house for a week… Continue reading »

sexual assault

I was twelve years old and in 7th grade.. My mom was involved with a man who we used to call uncle… I thought he was a great man.. I always asked for money and he will give it to me.. I did not know that he was planning something on me. One day my mom and him started to have some fights. Then the was this other day that I was alone with him in the kitchen.. He offered me money so that he could sleep with me and he said I should not scream I was afraid and scared then he began to kiss me and tried to touch my body.. Then I got a chance to run away.. So this is my first time saying this in public even my mom does not know that I was nearly raped by her ex.. — Survivor, age 18

When will it be enough?

Why is it not enough? Why is my reluctance not enough to make you stop? Why is my “no” not enough? Why is my “no no no” not enough? Why are my clawing, shoving, desperately-trying-to-pull-my-pants-up hands not enough? Why is my cry of “oh god make it stop, please make it stop” still not enough for you? Why are my tears not enough? Why do I have to be violated and then told that I’m too young to recognize that women want a man who “takes charge in the bedroom”? Why does this have to happen over and over and over again all over the world? I am heartbroken for all my sisters who have endured the same pain. It is not fair that we have lost pieces of our souls after these monsters. It is not fair that the gaping wounds attract more predators, like sharks drawn to blood in the water, who tear… Continue reading »

I will never forget

All this start when i meet a boy when i was 16 he was my dream man who later will be my nightmare,i remember like today the day u do that too me,i was young and silly i believe in this world everybody is like me,naive as i was,i could never forget when i get into your car ,i was crying begging you to stop the car u just don’t listen i was just a sex doll for u not even human,u drive me to that shitty motel and raped me u see my face was covered with tears i was scared but u never care u just care for ur desire and after hours of it u leave me like trash in the middle of nowwhere with no money,u know i could not make a call beacuse of the society we live,in that day u don’t only rape me u destroy me trust in… Continue reading »

I wish I never knew

I don’t remember it or how old I was but in fact I try and block it from my memorise, desperately trying to forget that it ever occured. All I remember was my mum telling me a couple years later a small detail from an incident that happened to me when I was around 3 years old. I was on holiday with my family when my mum decided to pull me over to have a talk, she made sure no else could listen in, especially my brother. She told my that my dad had touched me were he should have not touched me while I was in the bath and that my brother had to watch. At the time I slightly understood but not properly, it helped my understand why my parents always fought, or why once when I was in an argument with my mum she said at least she did not pass me… Continue reading »

Rubbing my scars

I am six years old. I think. It’s unclear my exact age because my parents never talked about it growing up and the legal records are now sealed. I am six, give a take a few years, and I am sitting on my bedroom floor between my bed and the wall. I’m not wearing pants and my legs are spread apart. He is sitting across from me, his hair is slicked back, in a pony tail. He uses his fingers to spread the lips of vagina apart. He is inspecting it. He has to lower his head to see what is down there, in there. Sticking his fingers inside me, he opens my vagina up. He inspects me with his eyes and fingers. He is ten years older than I am and my babysitter. Where is my younger brother while this is happening? Is he with my parents? Where are they? What are they doing?… Continue reading »

Supe que fue un abuso cuando ya era demasiado tarde…

Cuando tenia 5-6 años, no recuerdo la edad exacta, un primo mio de unos 17 años solia sentarme en sus piernas y frotarse sus partes conmigo. Nunca intentó tener relaciones conmigo pero fue algo que me afectó por años. No sabía si debía contarlo o no porque no sabía ni siquiera qué era el sexo, qué era el placer sexual, no sabía nada de eso. Recuerdo que entendí lo que había pasado cuando recibí educación sexual en la primaria. Pareciera algo sin importancia pero me marco por años. Hoy tengo 35 años y hasta hace poco le conté a mi mamá. Esto afectó mucho mi vida sexual, pero ya no tenía caso enfrentar a mi agresor, solo he evitado tener que verlo. A veces me he dado cuenta de que la mayor parte de mi vida he tratado de pasar desapercibida, nunca me gusto que me alagaran ni llamar la atención. Es algo muy muy… Continue reading »

I Came Home

I came home from school, funny because it was the same time everyday from the same bus. I walked in our house, and down the hall. The door was open so I could see my Dad was on top of my 5 year old sister, between her legs, and attempting sex. When our Mom passed, she made me promise to do anything to protect my sister. Being 12, I told our Dad to leave her alone. He could have it from me instead. I went to his room, so we could have our rooms to go safely, and got on his bed, removing my underwear. Dad had no issues exchanging partners. When he was finished, I took a shower, and started dinner like nothing was new or different. I treated it like a house chore. Whenever Dad wanted, I would go to his room, and then went to whatever I had to do next. Never… Continue reading »

How Many Times?

I have been raped, I don’t know anymore whether I admit, or declare it. My first time, also my first time, was on a date with my boyfriend. We were making out, and he went up my shirt, and I stopped him with a no. He kept trying until he got to 2nd base, and then went under the shirt, and an emphatic no didn’t stop his hands. I included a no at each stage, through penetration, intercourse and orgasm. my opinion was clear, and unimportant. On Monday, he had a date with a classmate, and we weren’t committed, in that order. Less than a week later, we had the stereotypical rivals football game, which we lost in the fourth. Walking home, through a playground in the minor creek and woods, I ran into a guy. He was from the other school, from his jacket. He was cute, nicely built, hot butt. He was charming,… Continue reading »

Because of you

i used to be an innocent child that now no longer exists because of you i use to be a happy kid always talking to everyone protect myself from everything and move freely and then you came an took everything from that kid I became afraid of everyone that reminded me of you and what you did to me .I am still blaming myself for what you did i still doubt myself an my actions probably because i didn’t stop you then. 4 year later I still remember your dirty hand on my body in a place full of strangers looking at me with that disgusting look I am still afraid being around a lot of men. But because of you i am a stronger girl I am better and tougher. Because of you i lost a part of me the part of me which thought that the word was a place full of joy… Continue reading »