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Childhood nightmares

When I was younger, my brother would sexually harass me. He would call me names like “slut” or “bitch”. He would also pull on my underwear or hit my butt…sometimes even when other people were around. It was humiliating. I was 13 but I felt powerless to stop him. Then when I got a little older he started to hit me, threaten to hit me and called me even worse names. He told me I was lucky my family actually kept me around because no one loved me enough to take care of me. I never told my mother because I thought she wouldn’t believe me. While I’m aware that what happened to me isn’t the worst thing in the world, it was still humiliating and traumatic to live with. — Survivor, age 18

True View

it was started when i was small child 5 years old. it was my uncle..he used to call me near him as i would go to him bcz i didn’t know what his intention was. then would make sit on his lap and started to touch me were i felt really uncomfortable..then he used to do this everyday…i never told my parents about this as i was afraid…then i was in 6th std i went to my native place were he lives and then also he asked me to come near him in my school we had a campus were they told all childeren about safe touch and unsafe touch then i realized about it and never went near him..he always used to force me to come near him but i never came to him..and now i am 15 …and never went him..and i am still afraid to tell this to my parents. — survivor,… Continue reading »

Letter to my offender part 2

Flashback The month before everything happened (October) I got in a fight with a cousin. I was not prepared to fight with her she’s bigger than me so it’s safe to say her five friends and my one had no idea I was going to fight back but I did. Later that day i joined you in the choir room to practice for region and I told you all about it. You told me “i wish I was there I would have stopped it” as you felt the bumps all over my head from her fists hitting me over and over, and then you looked down at me kind of amused “so you really hit her with a piece of wood?” Although you were amazed by this aggression I wasn’t I knew that I was capable of handling myself and took pride in that. What did take me by surprise a month later … a… Continue reading »

I can say it now

My Dad was strict with us girls about sex- If we lost our virginity, we were out on the street. An appeal to Mom just got her to shrug and a reply Don’t. One night my older brother Tim was supposed to stay over at a hot party, but apparently returned home drunk. I awoke to him pulling up my nightshirt, and barely awake I said”Hey, it’s Heather!” but he was already raping me. He mumbled something about his girlfriend”Cleo was already getting laid, so he needed this”, and though I tried but he was too big to push him off, and I was scared to tell. Our little sister Lily woke to watch the scene. When he was done, he said”Thanks” and went to the bathroom to pee, and then to bed. All I could do was console Lily, who was scared. The next morning, after Dad and Mom went to work, Tim just… Continue reading »

Hard Time

Hi, I’m Tayler. I am currently 15. I was raped a month after my 15th birthday. My rapist was my older brother’s very good friend. I have 5 brothers (yes, it’s very difficult.). So whenever they had friend over it was no big deal. my rapist was over often and was friendly. One day he came over while I was home alone. He told me he was just going to wait for my brother to arrive home. I didn’t think anything and went up to my room. Around 10 minutes later he came into my room. He kept making sexual remarks and sat on my bed. His hand would rest on my leg, arm and hips. I became very uncomfortable and tried to find an excuse to leave. It happened fast. Next thing I know, I was being pinned to the bed. I cried. I begged him to stop. I tried to reason with him…. Continue reading »

Young and ruined

I was seven. SEVEN. Back then, I didn’t even know what was happening. I can still remember clearly as if it were just yesterday. I was in daycare. There was this 13 year old foster boy named Jason. During nap time, we decided to play house in a huge blanket fort in the playroom. I was the mom, Jason the dad. Apparently I’m was night time and we were sleeping, when he suddenly grabbed my thigh and started moving higher. I didn’t know what he was doing. He was suddenly on top of me, just touching me in certain places, and undressing me. He didn’t have enough time to do anything else, nap time was over. I was so young, I didn’t even know what it was or what it meant until I was 11! I haven’t ever told anybody except my best friend. This kind of stuff just ruins me.

I guess it was rape

Took me 6 years before I told myself that I was raped. It was valentines day 2011 when I was with my boyfriend, I was with him for maybe 4 months by that time (just a dumb high school relationship). He always pressured me for sex, but I always told him no as I was a virgin and wanted to keep it for marriage. On valentines day I guess I finally gave in, but I would only let him go so far. He just wanted to put the “tip” of it in, nothing more, and with no condom. Why I said OKAY is beyond me, maybe it was my way of hoping that he would stop asking? I was FREAKED OUT about it, wasn’t comfortable with the idea, and was waiting for him to simply get off of me. Instead HE decided on pushing all the way in, something I wasn’t prepared for, and something… Continue reading »

Help

Help. God help me write this, but i think its time i let it out. This is my story about how a man who completely destroyed me within a matter of minutes, three times. At first i didnt know it was rape. After years of abuse i just thought it was normal and no one would talk about it. But surley it happens to everyone? Right? Clearly not. I somehow convinced myself that it was my fault and that i asked for it. And that i was wearing the wrong clothes so it could have happend to anyone. That im clearly a slut because of this. That no man will ever love me because of what has happened. No one will accept me and my past. But no one should ever feel like that, as it is the hardest thing i have ever had to get out of. And im still trying. I was 13… Continue reading »

Worthless

I was sexually abused as a child by my teenage uncle when I was six. My mother told me it’s not his fault he was young and didn’t know what he was doing, then it was he’s was on drugs and didn’t know what he was doing. So I was taught that it was my fault it happened. Then my mother denied it ever happened I was a liar. She protected her brother over her daughter. So since it was my fault and a liar I became a whore at the age of 6. I made things worse sleeping around. Now I no longer deserve to be loved. I deserve to be beaten and severely punished for what I have done. Even God can’t forgive me. I’m that disgusting and worthless.

I’ve lost my trust with men

When I was 5/6 years old I was friends with a girl with a brother who was a year older than us. He was always so nasty to me (picked me apart, called me names) for absolutely no reason! However when we were by ourselves, he was weirdly nice to me. One day I’d gone over my friends’ house and her brother said he wanted to show me something. He wanted me to go behind the couch in the family room. I did as I was told. He then proceeded to put his hands down my shirt and touch me inappropriately. I thought it was definitely odd but I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never outwardly told anyone that. And I let it go. About 7 years ago, I mistakenly reconnected with this guy through Facebook (bad news.). Wish I never did. I accepted his friend request but never really… Continue reading »