When i was about 7 or 8 years old i was raped by my neighbour, Richard Grounds. I was sexually abused by other neighbours in our area and neither my parent nor my big sisiter ever noticed a thing. when I was 14 I went with a friend, what I considered my best friend at the time, to her boyfriends friend’s house. I don’t remeber her leaving. she never said goodbye. she didn’t take me with her. I was 14 and left alone with at least two men who were 40+. the man who called himself Mentor (hate that word now) came into the room where I was in bed, he climed in on top of me and started to push himself inside me. i cried and told him no, i told him to stop, that i was a virgin and that I didn’t want to. I remember his nose dripping on me while he… Continue reading »
I am a survivor
The first time I was molested I was about 4 years old. I barely remember it. My birth mother was very poor and lived with who I’m assuming was a boyfriend or pimp. He used to take me in the bedroom and tell me to take off all my clothes. He would touch me and if I backed away or cried he would spray my eyes with a spray bottle so that I couldn’t stop him. I remember him forcing his fingers inside me and there being a lot of blood and pain. I remember this going on for a while until one day he tied me to the bed and raped me. I think I was 5. I don’t remember much of it happening it’s all blacked out. Shortly after my birth mother was doing prostitution and taught me to do oral to men for money as well. I have flashbacks and nightmares of… Continue reading »
I wish I remembered
I have an experience. Regularly. When I feel triggered it is a deeply horrible, bodily feeling. I feel thoroughly unsafe and threatened, as if I might die. It feels real. It doesn’t matter how much my rational brain knows that it’s not happening any more and that I’m safe, my traumatized brain insists on dissociating. The first time it happened, I was about 25 yrs old. Actually, it might have happened once when I was about 12, but I have no earlier reference point so that may have been the initial trauma or the first time I was triggered from the original trauma. At 25, I worked in a treatment facility for adolescent girls. Most of the staff were women, and it was a wonderfully supportive environment. One of my mentors there was surprised to learn in casual conversation that I’d never had a PAP and told me that I really needed to make that… Continue reading »
Ruined
Your Story:: I’m not really good at expressing myself, my feelings or personal b.s. but here it goes…I am 13 years old from the ages of 4(maybe before)-10 i was molested and raped by an uncle and I’ve only ever told one person who is best friend she wanted to tell her mom but i feel stupid for even telling her because i feel so guilty and disgusting. Everytime i see him i just want to run/crawl out of my skin….i deal with self harm ,bipolar disorder,severe depression and ADHD and i don’t even care to tell anymore i just want someone that i can talk to that doesn’t know me so they can’t judge or anything…..this wasn’t put together very well but i tried
When Father’s Day is Painful
This Sunday many people will celebrate their dad in several ways by honoring the way he raised them, was there for them, carried sons and daughters through hard times, tough situations, rough health conditions, school burdens, maybe even bullying. How he always attended every soccer game, cheer leading tryout, dance recital, football awards banquet, how he taught them to play the piano, passed on great advice, taught them to drive, helped carry on his legacy of success, maybe passed on a great work ethic or the family business. But for many others like myself, this annual holiday is a painful reminder of what we don’t have – not only because our fathers aren’t here physically but because our fathers abused us. I always told everyone I was a Daddy’s girl and that my father and I were close, but that was a girlhood fantasy because I didn’t want to admit that though my father always… Continue reading »
They will never know what they did to me
From the age of 12 to 17 I was sexually assaulted repeatedly by peers. The remarks, the grabbing, pinning down, forceful touching, it happened on a weekly basis. Once in high school it slowed down. It still happened but more on a monthly basis. I didn’t realize how much it affected me, but I started wearing a lot of black, becoming a loner, listening to awful music. But later…I met a cute guy. I made him realize I was there, since he paid no attention to me at first. He was senior, and I was a junior. He was 18, I was 15. My first crush, my first time out with a boy. But had I known how it would end, I would’ve never spoken to him. It started out as friends. We would hang out at school and everything seemed fine. But the first time we went out alone, he made a move. He… Continue reading »
My story
if anyone is unable offer me support or assistance please pray for me?thank you, i come to you tired and heart sick as i am in a bad place, its been a year or so since my abusive husband attacked me physically but i live in fear he could hurt me again and everyday i live endure verbal emotional mental and financial abuse each day and i have tried to reach out for many years and many times and noone will assist me, please let me share my personal life with you, i am not a stranger to abuse heartbreak and pain, i grew up in a abusive household i was raped when i was 13 and i struggled with it and found the courage to tell my mother she called me a whore and blamed me and i was raped again when i was 21 by my abusive husband and too ashamed to tell… Continue reading »
My mom is in constant contact with the man who molested me
My father passed away when I was 5 years old and my mother soon remarried. This step-father was good to her, and to my little sister and I. He fulfilled his fatherly duties and took care of my fragile mother. My mom had a little boy, my half-brother when I was about 8. All seemed fine on the surface. But my step-father had been molesting me this whole time – and it continued till I was an early teenager. At the age of 6/7, you don’t really understand what is going on. Something feels wrong but you can’t describe it because you don’t know what it is. He was very manipulative, promising to buy my toys and whatever. He would remind me all the time that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. As I got older, I became more and more impatient and rude towards him. I was living with a secret that was eating… Continue reading »
I am a survivor
I was first raped at the age of twelve, my school friend’s uncle, promised to take us to the movies, instead he took us to an isolated beach and grabbed me first, I tried fighting him but he was too strong for me, he hit me in my stomach and as i fell to the sand, he jumped on me and tore my clothes. He went on to rape me mercilessly. I had my eyes shut and screamed helplessly but he kept putting his hand to my mouth to shut me up. I must have fainted cause h next thing I saw was he running away. I dragged myself to the water, sobbing all the time, when suddenly I heard screams, I ran in the direction of the screams and there lay my friend also raped. Together we cried uncontrollably and comforted each other. That day we made a pact never to tell a soul… Continue reading »
I’m 17 and I’m over it
My story starts at the age of twelve. I had a “boyfriend” at that time, he was my first one. I really did like him since I’ve known him for about 6 years. Every 2nd weekend I stayed over at his place since he was living 3 hours away from me. The 8th time I stayed over at his house it happened. He pulled my pants down and so on. It took 30 seconds. I don’t remember many details, maybe because I forgot or maybe because my brain needed it to be forgotten. I know I was crying but it was dark. I know I was hurting but he didn’t want to hear it. And I knew he wouldn’t care. I remember thinking about how he would react if I would stand up or if I say something. And I came to the conclusion that every movie shows that he leaves you if you do… Continue reading »