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Grooming

I had no idea what was going on at the time. All of a sudden when I turned 14 my best friends uncle started paying so much attention to me. He lived at her house and I was there all of the time. My own family life was not good, but I didn’t realize how bad my friend was because her house always seemed like such a good time. Everyone drank and smoked pot (and the adults occasionally did cocaine but we never saw them, just knew about it) There were pornographic books and material all within our reach since we were 6. Her Mom even bought us vodka (starting when we were 13) and let our boyfriends party there. I didn’t know that her uncle was a convicted pedophile. I knew he was in jail for a spell and I knew this family had secrets that even I was not privy to- but I… Continue reading »

My Stepbrother

From the ages of 14-16, Ii lived with my father in Malaysia. At first, I was happy and thought I could take a year in school down there to learn about the culture and meet other people. I lived with my father, stepmum and stepbrother. Everything was like normal in at first months, but then my stepbrother began to come to my room while I was sleeping. I would wake up to having his private parts in my hand or near my face. He said that no one would believe me if I told them. Everytime we were alone home, he locked me outside and attacked me. At the end, I was so afraid I would be up all night waiting for him. I knew he would come every night and every morning I pretended that everything was like normal. I pretended that I was happy. I wasn’t happy at all. I was afraid for… Continue reading »

Student Exchange

When I was 15 my parents forced me to participate in a student exchange program. The town I grew up in in the Bay Area had a sister-city and they wanted me to make them proud by being an ambassador for my city and my high school. I wasn’t interested in spending 6 weeks away from home and away from my family but my mother insisted I do it. A few years before my older brother had applied and failed to get accepted and it had left her feeling embarrassed. She wanted me to make her proud. Not wanting to disappoint my family, I applied and was accepted to participate. Most applicants were 16 and 17 and I was the first student to participate at just 15. Of the 5 American students selected to travel to Mexico and live with families, I was the only female student who had a brother. Because of this reason,… Continue reading »

My Past

Hello this is pretty difficult for me to share and it is the first time I’m about to physically write it down. Nobody knows what happened to me as a kid through my teenage years. I recently watched Brave Miss World and was moved. Like Linor, I turned to my spiritual side for healing and guidance. Unfortunately, I have not talked or shared my story to anyone. It feels so much easier to suppress and put it all behind me. My husband is aware that something traumatic occurred but I’ve never shared in detail. The very first time I was molested I was five years old it was by my great grandmothers husband. My sisters and I were in and out of foster care prior to my dad getting sole custody of us. In the meantime, I was molested again by a store clerk. I can’t remember my exact age because I was already going… Continue reading »

3 Generations

My mother grew up in a house hold with 10 older siblings. One of them is a half sister who was raped by her father and became pregnant with my mother’s brother/nephew. Everyone knew it was happening but instead kept quite. My grandmother was jealous of her own daughter one who was also a product of rape. My sister was molested by a neighbor when she was 5 years old and from my understanding his charges weren’t that high. My mother was raped by my own father after having my older sister. She soon found out she was pregnant and had an illegal abortion in her home country of Mexico since she didn’t want to bear a child from that experience. She went back to my father believing he has changed. 8 years later and a miscarriage after I was born. Soon after they separated. In order to make due my mother rented out apartments… Continue reading »

Dad Touching Me

It all started when I was 4\5 and me and my dad would be in bed. Me and my cousin were mainly knew in our family for our looks (we’re native American and we look like a native American model). I pretend to check my dad’s head for bugs and get them, I draw and scratch his back, and I cuddle with him. I am a brave 10 year old girl. I’m on my period and you know I had the talk so I am creative. I’m the oldest girl out of all my cousins on my moms side, and second oldest girl on my dads side I have an older brother. When me and my dad cuddle, he sometimes he puts me to sleep. We have movie nights Saturday nights and he lays beside me. He reaches for my butt and pulls it to his privates then he kisses me on my face cheek… Continue reading »

Spring Break

My story takes place almost 20 years ago when I was just about 17. Although in some ways it feels like a life time ago my story is still a part of me. After it happened I did not tell anyone. Not my friends who were at the party that night, not my parents, who I lived with or anyone else. I alone held the story in my heart. I almost didn’t believe it myself so it seemed that nobody else would believe me and if they did they would think that I messed up and that I was gross. I felt gross and scared. So here is the story of what happened to me. It was spring break in 1996 and I went to my friend’s house where we planned to have a party as her parents were not home. A handful of my friends were there and we were drinking vodka and orange… Continue reading »

A Story Untold

I grew up in a religious household. I used to preach the Word of God every saturday morning and I was always active in church events. My best friend at the time was a bit of a rebel but I loved her. I spent the night at her house one night and her brother showed up. I never knew she had a brother. I was 12 at the time and he was 19. When i would go to her house he would tell me things like when you grow up your going to have a nice body. I never paid attention to him. I used to strive on being a virgin never kissed nor touched. God was my life. I was homeschooled and I remember one day being in my moms room and you could see perfectly across the room to my hall way and I saw something move so I ran outside and had… Continue reading »

Warning

I’ve never spoken up about my story before in fear that people wouldn’t Believe me. It’s complicated but it starts here I was molested when I was about 4 by a stranger that came into the house. I didn’t even understand what had happened but the effects on my life were evident. I was terrified of anyone with a beard & had messed up thoughts and dreams of being abused my whole childhood. Every night. This is what scares me the most and I worry I am so damaged from this that I can only enjoy abuse. From about age 5-12 I would think about being abused, I’d created this whole place in my mind where girls went if they were bad and they would be abused as punishment. To me that thought was normal. Now this next bit i have to warn you that it’s a bit full on I used to basically ride… Continue reading »

Twice

The first time I was sexually assaulted I was 17. I went to my friends house because that was where the people I hung out with usually were on an average day. There were several children that lived In the house so I was friends with a female and a male who were near the same age. Because they were different sexes but around the same age, we shared mutual friends. On that particular day, I went down to see if my friend was coming outside and as I went in (which is what I usually did) a friend of her brother came in behind me. We were cool, but argued all of the time. When he came in behind me he pushed me to get passed. I hit him back and called out my friend’s name. As I called out my friend’s name, the boy pushed me again causing me to fall and as… Continue reading »