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Raped 14 times in 1 year

i had this uncle and i never met him before but he stayed with us for 6 months and after about 1 month he started. he wouldn’t stop. at the time i was 13 and he was 21. i haven’t told anyone. — survivor, age 15

My Ex Husband – My Biggest Enemy

I fell in love with him in Greece ( Crete . I was about 14 years of age and i was so in love. I met him in the street for the first time on his motorbike. He had those brown eyes and hair. My mum knew him because she lived there in his little village for some years. She told me he is a nice gentle boy and so he was. We broke up and we got together again… i learned greek like crazy and we meet like every year. In the end i was 20 and i got pregnant. I decided to move to crete to him and his family. He punished me the first time in my face when i was 9 months pregnant. We was lying in the bed and he tried to touch me everywhere. I told him to stop because i was tired and pregnant. He didn’t stop.. He… Continue reading »

Confused by Rape

I would like to start by saying the recent rape is indeed all of my fault and i now feel completely disgusting and hate myself. And please try to understand where I’m coming from before judging me too badly…. I had a hard time with love and figuring it out. My grandparents hate each other, both my parents have had multiple marriages and multiple partners while in those marriages, and i had been introverted.. The first time i was molested i was 11 years old. My neighbors cousin had done it for a year before he moved. The first time i was raped i was 18. I had never dated and i was still a virgin. The rape lasted 2 years before he was caught. Now, and I’m not trying to defend this in any way, I’m thinking it has to do with rape being my only sexual experience, but any time after the rape… Continue reading »

Prisoner of Love

I was married to a monster, but no one knew. Everyone thought we had the perfect marriage and were the perfect couple. Sex was used as a tool to control me. Sodomy, especially, was used to dehumanize me. I found a way out of my many years of the hell of being a prisoner in my own home. It has taken many more years of counseling to even begin talking about the violence I experienced. My marriage left me with severe panic disorder, PTSD, and depression. One psychologist said that I basically lived like a prisoner of war for almost 20 years. I still have that mentality sometimes. I am afraid of most things. When I filed for a protection order the police were very helpful and accommodating. They were furious that this had happened in their community, to a woman that they knew. However, when it came time to press charges and the possibility… Continue reading »

Life Was Ruined

I should’ve saw the warning signs, I should’ve told someone when he was doing everything that was leading up to rape (grabbing me inappropriately & whispering how I should “give him some”) I didn’t want to tell him on him because he was my uncle and I would’ve been known as the ‘home wrecker’ I started avoiding him more & that meant the rest of the family, like, at family reunions. July 4th my mother made me go so I could see family (for once) It was good, I just didn’t go near him and hung with my cousins until the end of the day when everyone was gone besides the adults that have been drinking. I was in a building that was made for an outside eating area. He, my uncle, came in, drunk as usual complementing me as usual. He locked the door to the building and got on top of me… he… Continue reading »

Unwanted Flashbacks

I just read a really mediocre article on my phone on attitudes towards rape. And suddenly it was all back, the feeling that I am not in control of my body and somehow feeling broken inside – unable to pinpoint and define the feeling. 3.5 years ago I was raped. I only realized 3 months after it happened. I called a helpline for advice and they bluntly told me that I couldn’t do anything that would result in real consequences for him. And back then I still felt somehow guilty and bad about potentially destroying his reputation and future. I felt really done after this conversation – these people were supposed to help the victims. All I got was the confirmation that I in fact was powerless! The one thing I did was sending him an email just stating: What you did is called rape. I felt I had to tell him. I felt that… Continue reading »

My Relationship With Dad

This is hard to write about, because its still going on. My dad is still using me, and have been for almost a year now. I don’t remember everything about the first time he raped me. I was 16 and my mom was away on a business trip. She works a lot, starts early in the morning so she goes to bed early and is often away. So, I and my dad was sitting on the couch watching some movie. Then much is blurry. He threw himself on me, touched me, and didn’t care when I told him to stop. The one thing I remember clear as day however is what he said to me. He was groping me, and he whispered in my ear. He said things like “i’m sorry”, “I love you”, “daddy needs it”. He then penetrated me, and had sex with me. I didn’t scream out, I just cried. I still… Continue reading »

Alcohol Convinced Me It Was My Fault, Until Now

‘ve never spoke out about this to anyone. I have been raped twice. During the summer of 2016, I went on holiday to my parents house in Spain with a few of my girlfriends. It was my first major holiday without my parents but I knew the place very well and it only featured one small bar/club. One night I had been out with the girls, but they wanted to go home before I did, and considering I had known some of our companions for years, I stayed out without them upon the agreement that a male I had met that night would walk me home. My next memory is waking up on the floor, naked from the waist down in an apartment that was not mine. I took a few minutes for me to properly understand my situation, then I immediately got dressed and proceeded to leave the apartment. When leaving I walked past… Continue reading »

Love of My Life?

I was 17 years old. My senior year of high school was complete. My boyfriend at the time came down from Stanford to see me graduate. He was caring, supportive, kind, you know, a great boyfriend. He was a sophomore, grade A student, football player, and community activist. Two weeks before my graduation, we decided to move in together when I went to Stanford. At my graduation dinner, he asked me, in front of all my friends and family to marry him, and I said yes. Everything was perfect, until it wasn’t. The first few months of my freshman year in college, we did everything together. Tailgate parties, fraternity parties, walked each other to class, planning one of the greatest days of my life. I was finally 18, and his teammates threw me a surprise party. Everything went well for the first few hours, but then, he started getting a little too drunk. I walked… Continue reading »

What I Now Feel, Because of Him

I’m in a dark place, a very dark and empty room. I sit in the furthest corner away from the door, trapped inside my own thoughts. Im away from the world, trapped in a dark room with pain, violence and torture keeping me company. I can’t move or speak, Im silenced with the feeling of my heart cut open. My heart is bleeding, my blood is black because it consists of no love, its filled with guilt and hate. I sit here, with shadows surrounding me, these shadows are my friends and family. The dark room is my life and the door was a door leading to death. I sit with these shadows unaware of their presence, Im lost I can’t speak to them nor can I cry out loud for them to hear. Im silenced, 30 feet away from the door. This door is what will save me, This door is what will take… Continue reading »