Ms. Linor Abargil is an inspiring woman and if she is brave enough to share her story with the world, I thought I could share my little bit of Hell in hopes it helps others and gives them hope. Within months of moving in with my boyfriend, the psychopath revealed himself. The psychological abuse started first, but it was the physical and sexual abuse that broke my spirit. I was often chained to the bed and repeatedly raped. When given some modicum of freedom he would threaten me with death if I ever called the police on him. While holding his favorite .44 Magnum to my head he would tell me that if I ever called the police he would kill me, kill the police officers when they arrived, then kill himself. The most chilling thing he ever told me was, “Girl! There are Men, Dogs, Livestock, and then Women. Why would you think I… Continue reading »
Soothe my whys with soft whispers Wipe my tears with your love Make me whole again No more, I beg No more No more Unwanted touch Unwelcomed Stiff, rough caresses No man to hold me down, Give me forbidden kisses Legs forced apart Like rusty hinges Hinges to a door that leads To a place that has known much pain. Lust thrust upon it Desert dry, forced entry Aching, throbbing No natural waters His pleasure My demise No more No more I wont survive. Send hands that heal A gentle touch Restoring Life Reviving Joy To the rusty hinges Of the door that leads To the place that has known much pain. I begged for mercy But mercy never came Help me understand Soothe my whys with your healing Dry my tears with your love Help me fly Fly like a dove Purest white and free Help me fly away.
I had always wanted children…. I had always been afraid … I was afraid they will be hurt … I was afraid I would hurt them… I was afraid I will Not protect them …or ill protect them too much … I was always afraid … And then it happened…. It was both planed and not…. I wanted it so much that I preferred to suppress the consequences … Not to think about them … Agree between me and I to just ignore it until ill have no choice… Apparently I wanted it with all my heart because I actually succeeded… I managed to “forget” that at the end of every pregnancy there is a delivery… I am a 31 year old Woman … I was raped, molested and sexually abused many times in my life … I want to share a small part of the experiences, feelings and emotions that I had during my… Continue reading »
It started when I was 5…he was a trusted friend of a neighbors family…I can still remember his smell, some 20 years later…’If you tell anyone that I touch you, I’ll hurt you’ he would say, and then throw me to the ground and walk away…fast forward 10 years, same monster but a different face…drunk at a friends house…the room spinning, the taste of mexican brandy and pepsi on my tongue…I don’t even know his name…I begged him to stop, fighting and kicking under his weight, crushing me, gasping for air, trying as hard as I could to keep his penis from entering me…not another violation…not again…walking home, crying…another few years go by, and I met the ‘one’…he never hit me at first, not until the week after I gave birth to my son…then the beatings began in earnest…after learning the hard way, after the hitting and punching and choking, I realized that resistance only… Continue reading »
About a month ago I got a phone call from my brother. He told me that my ex-step dad, the man who molested me during my childhood, was dead, that he had died over a year ago, in October 2009. This day was one of the happiest days of my life. My brother forwarded me his obituary. It read that he was an avionics installer and expert, a U.S. Navy Veteran of the Vietnam War and a member of the Hopewell Baptist Church in Savannah, Tennessee. It read that he was married to a woman eighteen years ago. A woman was one of my mother’s best friends just twenty years ago. The obituary read that he was a disaster relief volunteer for Southern Baptist Convention, did local missions work and was active in Media Ministry at Hopewell Baptist Church. That’s funny, he was Catholic when he lived with us. Even then he was an active… Continue reading »
Most recently was when I lived with my ex-fiance. I was the first girl he’d slept with and I naturally had a much lower libido than him, but usually went with it anyway. One day he wanted sex when I was feeling really unwell. I told him I felt crappy and wanted to have a nap. He kept pressing; finally he called me selfish and hit me.
I was married. I had a child. My husband was going through some midlife crisis of sorts. He drank more and more frequently in greater quantities. When he drank he wanted sex. I knew he didn’t want me because my weight repulsed him. And yet when he drank he wanted sex. It became more aggressive. I accepted it because I thought if I did he would eventually snap out of it and realize he loved me and we would be ok.
I’m Chanel, I’m 12 years old young right? Well here’s my heartbreaking story.. I was hmm.. About 10 or so when it all began. Now MOST people, their stepdads sexualy abuse them, well no. This guy. He was my older brother.. he was about ehh. 14, he KNEW rigt from wrong. he knew it was all wrong, but he really didnt care. My stepfather, has abusive to me, verbaly && hitting wise.
I am 34 years old. I was sexually abused by my ex-step-father for nine years. It ended 20 years ago, and I am only now comfortable and very passionate about using my experience to help others in some capacity. I am only very, very recently learning about ways that I may be able to do this, and am looking for more avenues to help and contribute in some fashion. I feel like my experience would be a complete waste if I did not use it to help others somehow. The abuse began when I was four or five and lasted until I was 14. At age 17, I had a psychotic break and was hospitalized and put into residential treatment for many months. Eventually I got out and tried to commit suicide and got put back into the hospital. I was given up to the state of California as a ward of the court during… Continue reading »