The first time I was molested I was about 4 years old. I barely remember it. My birth mother was very poor and lived with who I’m assuming was a boyfriend or pimp. He used to take me in the bedroom and tell me to take off all my clothes. He would touch me and if I backed away or cried he would spray my eyes with a spray bottle so that I couldn’t stop him. I remember him forcing his fingers inside me and there being a lot of blood and pain. I remember this going on for a while until one day he tied me to the bed and raped me. I think I was 5. I don’t remember much of it happening it’s all blacked out. Shortly after my birth mother was doing prostitution and taught me to do oral to men for money as well. I have flashbacks and nightmares of… Continue reading »
Today, I Let It All Go
My rapist- is what I called him. But I refuse to take ownership of him. I refuse to take the blame for actions. I refuse to hold on to the guilt. Today, I let it all go. My story begins in a high school biology class. A seemingly harmless flirtation, which eventually led me into his arms. He was perfect to me. He wrote poetry and letters, he was over the top with his actions and words. He put on a show, for the world, and for me. No one could look away. Years passed. Everyone loved us (him). He spoke, people listened. He became president of the senior class, I stood by his side silently. We went to prom. I felt so beautiful. As soon as we were in front of the cameras, the feeling dissapated. He posed, he smiled, he laughed, and I was gone. I didn’t even know I was silent. I… Continue reading »
Not safe in my own skin
I had been with my ex for 5 years, I loved him so much. He was not always so cruel, or well maybe he was. From the beginning he cheated on me with like 8 girls. He would deliberately embarrass me out in public. Then became controlling. And paranoid The first time he was violent with me he ended up head butting me in the face! He become rough with me during sex and this went on for three more years, until he raped me when I was pregnant and I ended up miscarrying my twins. It started off consensual. He was on a lot of drugs which I didn’t like, but he was sweet and affectionate. But then he did something I asked him not to do, and he continued. He told me to be quiet but I kept telling him please no. I was in so much pain and crying out he put my hand over… Continue reading »
I was raped last summer
Last summer I meet this guy he was so nice to he asked me out and I said yes then things started to get bad the littlest things would make him mad and he would hit and punch me at this time i had not had sex yet. Everything started to get worse I told him I would leave him if he did not stop. He told me he would and it was good for a week then it was happening again. I told him I was leaving him. He grabbed me by the neck and started to choking me he told me if I left him he would kill me. He pinned me down beating me and then when I thought it was over I looked back and he was taking off his pants and he then raped me.
By my friend
I was hanging with my friend from school. We are both in a mainstream learning disabled program. We were in my room playing a console game. He was excited as he won fight after fight. Without any warning, he threw me down on the rug, and removed my sweat pants. I didn’t think that he was excited in that way, nor what was actually happening, until he entered me. I screamed for him to stop and get off me, though he didn’t until the end. In our classes, we often have to deal with others emotional outbursts. I was in utter shock myself. I composed myself, and told him what he did, mostly the way he did was wrong, and if he did it to someone else, he could go to jail. I was his friend, so I wouldn’t call it, but he had to go, and he couldn’t call me or come over anymore…. Continue reading »
Someone so close to me
This only happened a year ago. My uncle who always would make sexual comments to me from age 6-still today raped me. We had this cookout where we invited our family and my uncle came. About halfway through I went to go use the bathroom and he cornered me and proceeded to take off my Clothes as I tried to fight him off. Me being a small 13 year old at the time, it was no use. My uncle took my virginity as I was crying the entire time. I have never talked to anyone about it in fear that no one would believe me. I see him about once a month and my eyes start watering up when I see him. — Arabella, age 14
Just Playing
My brother and I got into some basic games of “Doctor”. Nothing starting out as abuse, just a lot of looking, and a little touching. One afternoon he inserted a finger, and I got a little blood. I went and told an adult, as I was supposed to, and because my mother was out, I went to my stepfather. He had to see what was done, and he rubbed some ointment on it. No, I was so young that nothing seemed wrong. We played “Doctor” too, and he progressed to using items down there. One day he changed to using his penis. He was taking care of me, so nothing was wrong, except that my brother saw us. Now, one would expect that he would tell our mother. Not my brother, who wanted to play that way also. We stopped calling it “Doctor” when I learned the “F”-word. This didn’t stop it, just what we… Continue reading »
Rape survivor
I was 14 years old when i was raped. It was my boyfriend at the time and i was still a virgin. We had sexual contact at the time but i did not want to have sex. I felt that i was not ready to lose my virginity yet. He accepted this until later in the night when i was half asleep. He was on top of me and i froze, i lay staring at the TV which was just a blue screen with 001 in the top write hand corner. The next thing i heard was “it’s all way up” i was still frozen to the spot until i plucked up the courage to push him off and told him he was hurting me. He got off without saying anything, got on the sofa and went to sleep. I ran upstairs to my friends crying and it went on from there. I decided to… Continue reading »
Was it rape if he’s my boyfriend?
In retrospect, we are a happy, normal couple. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, what feel like less. I love him and he adores me. He loves me. He respects me. I think? So I may have had too much to drink one night when the “rape” happened. I was tired & barley conscious, but that didn’t stop him. He began pulling down my underwear and began sexual acts with out my consent. I said no, and he didn’t listen, rather. After he felt I was “ready ” he began to take off his pants. I couldn’t really move, but I was just laying there, deadweight. He just started & I thought, “I’m knowingly not very conscious, but he still keeps going” he started taking off my shirt as i layed on the bed, belly up, just watching him. He’s my boyfriend, I shouldn’t feel as if it was rape. But… Continue reading »
There once was love
It seems every time I close my eyes I can see him on top of me, or if I’m to still I can feel him. I was 16 when my boyfriend decided to take something from me I could never take back. My mother had passed away who lived in Canada and I had to move with my dad in California, due to my step mom,step brother, and dad I tried my best to stay away from home, at times I would sneak out I knew the risk but I’d rather be anywhere but home, one night me and my dads side bitch(step mom) got into it because of my “behavior” after the whole thing I went to my boyfriend house I told him about the situation that had tooken place, I cried for hours it seemed as time flew I asked if I could spend the night, he didn’t mind. As I began to… Continue reading »