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Marital Rape and the abuser in my life

I’m not sure where to start. Years ago I met a much younger man who would not leave my side. He is not in the U.S. legally. Now it’s clear that back then, he was looking for protection, and security, and he found that in me. He was subtle in his actions, and not much for words. We married 3 years later and had our little girl in 2010. When my daughter was 10 months old and we had only been married for 3 months, he started to rape me. I left him because the mental abuse was too much for me to handle, but he didn’t leave me alone. In 2011 I filed for divorce, but the divorce wasn’t finalized because I didn’t have all the money I needed. He moved super close to me and going against my wish for divorce took me to live with him instead. By this time, and after… Continue reading »

I was raped and I didnt know it…

It is after many many years that I have finally come to realise that I was raped. Not just once, but several times and with not just the same man. That is the guilt I carry with me, that I allowed it to happen over and over again. One day just like a spark that took off in my head, I realised the truth of what happened that night. It was someone I knew. Someone I shared a physical relationship with before. It was aggressive, but I did what pleased him. Until one night he held me down. I could usually wiggle myself out and take control of the situation but this time I couldn’t. This time he was adamant. He pinned me down, and this time it didn’t feel right. I didn’t fight it; I didn’t scream. I thought if I let him finish, the pain would soon be over. When I went to… Continue reading »

Unicorns

Dear God, Turn me into a unicorn. Sincerely, Me. A unicorn. My first memories as well as current thinking that comes to mind when I hear the term “unicorn” is my Lisa Frank trapped keeper and the 500 page sticker sheets that made their comeback debut at Target dollar spot a few years back. What are Unicorns? Everyone has a theory, belief, or thanks to “emojis” we now have an actual visual represention of what they are, look like or should be mentally noted as. Without the risk of being too forward or suggesting my belief is the same as others, I’d like to give my “definition” of a unicorn. Unicorn (n): 1. a mysterious, and magical creature that has been replicated throughout history’s images, and is often related or referred to in fairytales, and other stories that conclude in “happilier ever after”. 2. (n) a wonderful work of ones imagination. A creature that is… Continue reading »

silent rape

I have never spoken out before like this, I’ve told close friends before that I’ve been raped but never actually retold the story. I started watching the documentary on Netflix and could only watch the first 10ish minutes before I had to turn it off as it triggered something. I never dealt with it, period. I am 27 years old and this happened when I was 15. I never talked about it because a part of me believes that I let it happen, that I asked for it…. so here’s my story. I took the train with a friend to hang out at one of her friend’s house. I have never met them before. We were all drinking and we had planned to sleep over at this house. My friend was clearly vibing with one of the guys and it was obvious that they were going to hook up. The other guy that I was… Continue reading »

incest

My name is Sabrina Giglio. My family are descendants from Sicily, Palermo, Italy. When I was 13, I am now 45, I was raped by my cousin, my mothers sisters son. When it happened all in a three month period, I was taken in back of alleys, beaten, anal violated, oral sex in houses of people who condoned it. When I told my mother she told me to stay quiet. When I told my father he just said it took two to tango. I never ever have dealt with the pain. I always want and want and want to see him suffer, I hate him he is married with children and even my other cousins in Italy stayed quiet. To this day, it has ruined my life. I did drugs I became a relationship nightmare, now with 4 children and I lost my career, I lost all hope. No one cares for me, I am… Continue reading »

Childhood of assault

“Do you want to do it?” My 8 year old stepbrother asked my 8 year old self. “Do what?” I asked. He instructed me to lay down and he took out his penis and started rubbing it on my stomach. I had no idea what was happening. I had just recently been through an awful custody battle that ended with my father getting custody from my unstable bipolar mother who had chased my stepdad out of the house with a butcher knife. Living with my dad, stepmom, and stepbrother who ws only 5 months older than me but a grade above me was a new experience. My dad had spent the year before away all week for work and left me with my stepmom and brother alone. Thats when “the game” started. About a year in, my dad caught it in the act and separated us and demanded n explanation. I told him how it… Continue reading »

Not just me

When I was in the 8th grade, I was taken advantage of by a boy a year older than me. It took me a year before speaking out, but I finally did. The police didn’t do much, I made a statement but never really heard back from that after that. I never pursued it because I was young and afraid and I didn’t want to have to think about it. Now I can say that I forgive him, I’m strong and resilient. I’m now 21 and pursuing a career in nursing. More recently, my boyfriends sister was in a relationship, this past summer he raped her. This fall, after she had broken up with him, he released her naked photos on the internet. She decided to speak out, she told us about the abuse she endured and has since gone to the police. I pray action is taken. But I’m proud of her, she’s 18… Continue reading »

Rape

When I was 20 years old I left my boyfriend after 1 year of emotional, mental, and physical abuse. Soon after I missed my period. I went to his house to speak with him about the possibility and he was drunk. Instead of speaking with him I went to leave, that did not go as planned. He grabbed me and threw me on his bed and quickly removed my clothes. I begged him to stop and desperately tried to pull my clothes on. Instead he grabbed me by the throat and began to choke me. I couldn’t breathe and my pleas were whispers. I kept trying to say “stop” but he couldn’t hear me. I clawed his hand but his grip didn’t loosen. It wasn’t until I felt my heart rate begin to slow down that he released me. It was front and back. He turned his back for a moment to grab a condom… Continue reading »

I’ve survived sexual abuse

As a kid I was a molested from the time I was 5 until 15. I married to leave my house. Got pregnant and divorced soon after. Then I found myself in a very controlling relationship. Found myself pregnant again which are lost that child due to a DUI driver almost lost my life but God seem to be there for me because he saved my life. I was severely emotionally unstable. I thought to help with my pain that carrying life inside me what to help ease it somehow. That made things worse I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with someone very close to me after he choked me till I passed out and took me and dumped me in my parents driveway and left me now I was pregnant with one child and single and dealing with the life of a death of a child still not have dealt with… Continue reading »

My Boyfriend

It happened freshman year of high school during my first relationship. It started by being pressured into doing sexual acts even though I told him I didn’t want to. He would make me feel terrible about myself until I did what he asked me to do. By this point I had been dating him for about three months and already my confidence dropped, I stopped talking to people and I stopped caring about myself. There were times when I would just close my eyes and wait for him to finish. Later he started getting rough. In the beginning there were times when it was consensual but later that all ended. He used to tie my hands to furniture or around my neck and choke me with his hands. I would go to school with marks on my neck and wrists from the night before. It got to the point where every time we saw each… Continue reading »