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Being Raped

With the help of God, I can finally write this down. I watched Brave Miss World the same year I confronted on of the men who raped me. This site has allowed me to find strength and solidarity among the words, the deeply respected and haunting stories of others who have experienced being violated, having their identities stolen or put through crisis; those who wake up with PTSD, anxiety, suffer from panic attacks, substance misuse, depression and social isolation. Some of those, who like me, blamed themselves for something you ask.. couldn’t I have prevented? This is for every girl, who didn’t get to choose, and for every person who loves her and also, didn’t get to prevent what happened to her. It’s also for anyone who has ever raped, violated or participated in anything that led to someone being violated. I hope that you become better than you were, and seek forgiveness. I am… Continue reading »

I Need to Tell Someone

I’m not sure how to begin to be honest, I have never gone into depth about it. I was molested and raped by my father and his brother. My father raped and molested me from age 4 until I was 13 his brother molested and raped me from ages 10 to 12. I felt like I couldn’t speak to anyone, I didn’t want to ruin my mothers marriage and I didn’t want to destroy my older brothers role model. I feel disgusting, there is no amount of showering that will get rid of that feeling. My dad’s brother was taken to court after my mum found out about him and he wasn’t convicted because there wasn’t enough evidence. My mum finally found out about my dad when I was 17 and she asked me (due to other family members speaking against him, which leads me to believe he’s done it to other people) she separated… Continue reading »

Raped at age 9 & 15

Rape isn’t love, Rape isn’t sex, Rape isn’t a relationship, Rape isn’t consensual. The only thing that had my dignity written all over it was taken from me, The one thing that meant so much to me was taken from me, the one thing that made me feel more like a women now makes me feel disgusting, the one thing that was suppose to be a beautiful moment to me became a horrific and terrifying moment for me. I was take advantage of and it’s not my fault. I was nine years old when i was raped, i was raped by my cousin who everyone believed was an angel, who everyone believed he was a “shy one”. I remember every single detail like it was just yesterday, i can’t and will never forget it. I was nine when i shared a room with my older cousin and my twin brother, we all had different beds… Continue reading »

I Said No

They made me do a module on sexual assault and harassment. I listened. I did it. I read 1 in 5 women will be sexually assaulted. I told myself it would never be me. I would never put myself in that situation. And then the storm came. I liked you so much. I said yes. We did it. I still liked you so much. But the second time I said no. You said shut up. Your hands moved from my breasts to my neck to my pussy. I said please. I said stop. I said no means no. You put it inside me. I pushed you away. You pulled me closer. You were stronger than me. It was easier to lay there until it was over. So I did just that. When you were finished, I left. I did not make it halfway home before I broke down. I cried. And cried. And cried. I… Continue reading »

He’s Your Husband, It’s Not Rape

I was married and had 2 children. It was 1974, our children were 3 1/2 and 1 year old and we were both 24 when we separated and began divorce proceedings. I asked for $200 a month for child support no alimony. I was to keep all household items and he’d take our car and buy me one later. I mention the car because it’s important to my story. A few months later we set up a time to go look at cars. I dropped the kids off at a friends apt. she was excited that we were going out together. I mention that because it is important later. It was late afternoon and he suggested we get something to eat before looking for cars. We found a place and they had a band. While eating he began to drink and asked me to dance. While dancing he’d brush his hands on my breast and… Continue reading »

Supposed To Be There

Let me kick it off by saying that it was by my almost stepbrother and that he took my virginity but at that time it was consensual. Now that that’s out of the way, we can begin. So Rey and I had had sex a couple of times and I wanted to stop. We I told him that he said ok like it was no big deal. However, that night he came into my room while I was sleeping and I caught him trying to put his penis in my mouth without waking me. Obviously, that didn’t work. When I told him to stop, he smacked me in the face. I fought a little while longer but he just kept hitting me in the face so I finally gave in and let him do what he wanted. This went on for about a year. I didn’t try to tell anyone because I was scared but… Continue reading »

Raped & Kidnapped By An Ex

I am a pretty happy go lucky kind of person and somewhat naive when I was younger. At the age ofor 19 I started a relationship with a guy who I call psycho Mike now. The relationship was physically & emotionally abusive, I honestly believe I was in shock all through because I had never been hit before in my life. Eventually after almost 2 years, I was able to get out of the relationship safely, or so I thought. I didn’t know my ex was stalking me until he showed up at my job on my lunch hour and sat next to me. I was having a birthday party with some friends and he showed up uninvited. I had recently moved to be in another town away from him but I think he may have followed mwith from work and found out where I lived. When I saw him walk in, of course I… Continue reading »

He was jealous of my new friend

So April/May 2016, thanks to a newspaper article I get back in touch with an old friend. He asks me if I’m happy in the relationship I am currently in with my partner, I admit to him I’m not and I want out. Two months after this my partner goes on holiday to Florida with some friends, when he’s there he sleeps with other women and continues things once he’s back from his holiday. I find out, break up with him and move out. We had a dog and a cat together so we agree to take it in turns looking after them and have a plan in place as to who looks after them when. Things remain amicable but at the same time he starts bombarding me with a good few messages a day, then messages become phone calls, phone calls become visits to my new house. I tell him to stop and he… Continue reading »

My “Step-father”

When I was about 5 my mother married a guy. The first year was awesome, I loved him he bought me anything I wanted and always made sure I didn’t get yelled at by my mom. He “got sick” for about a week during the summer usually my mom left me with my aunt while she worked, but since he was home she let me stay. I remember the first day was fine he played with me all day and we ordered pizza and ate ice cream. The next day he asked me to go to their room and lay down with him to watch cartoons. He cover us and told me he was going to show me something but I couldn’t tell me mom or she would get mad at me. He touched me. He told me it would feel good but I remember being so uncomfortable. He also showed me his private area… Continue reading »

Relationship does not equal consent

I had been with my boyfriend for 6 months, and he was starting to distance himself from the relationship. When we made out he always tried to take things further but I wasn’t ready. In an attempt to save the relationship from ending, I told him I wanted to do it. It would be my first time. He took care of everything, but on the way to the motel I started panicking and regretting my decision. He got angry, told me it wasn’t fair for him, that I had promised and eventually guilted me into getting into the room. I cried the whole time but he didn’t stop. I wasn’t ready. — Survivor, age 25