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I did Not need to know this

Youngest of 3, and I was the most outgoing. I was into sports and clubs, and after school church activities. I came home from field hockey, all sweaty and stinky, and needed a shower like no tomorrow! I went straight in and to my room to get a change of clothes, and someone was in there already! It was my older brother having some heavy sex from the sounds of it, and her legs in the air. Strange that he was in our sister’s bed. He was in our sister! I needed to get out of there! I showered and came back in a towel, and knocked Loudly. I needed clothes to change into, and Yes, I saw that! I don’t want to hear more about it! She talked to me about it later. She told me they were looking at some adult stuff, and he forced himself on her. She was ultra embarrassed at… Continue reading »

Molested by my biological father

When I was almost 10 years old my father started molesting me. He would come into my room and pretend he was there to help me fall asleep but all he was doing was touching me. I’m crying right now just remembering how scared, dirty, defenseless I felt every night. For eight years I felt like this. I was always afraid to go to bed because I knew that he would follow me. I never told anyone but I am sure my mom knew what was going on. I remember one day when I was 11, my sister and I were sick and we fell asleep in my parents bedroom watching tv; I was woke up in the middle of the night by my am dad touching me. This is how I know my mom knew, she was in that same bed! As I grew old enough to know the situation and to understand that… Continue reading »

My younger brother

I live at home with an alcoholic bipolar dad and my has lost all dignity and self-love. I moved away from my home because of my abusive father and our tenant would talk about how he wanted to be with a younger woman, and touch me inappropriately. My parents convinced me to come home, telling me they would kick him out and get me a lock on my door so my dad would not be allowed in my room if i did not want him to be. Ive always been a protective older sister to my younger brothers who are oblivious to how dysfunctional out family is. So when my little brother kept asking me every day to sleep in my bed (because his had trash on it from cleaning his room) i figired id just be giving him a safe place to fall asleep for a few days. I was awoken to him on… Continue reading »

#MeToo, too

I promised my friends I would share, but I’m not ready to come full out, and I hope everyone understands. I have been raped repeatedly since the age of 11 by a family member. He has been gentle, but I feel wrong. He got me pregnant on 2 occasions and had me abort. It was a regular thing until I moved out after college. He continues to insist on it into my adulthood, but I am better at avoiding situations where we are alone. He managed it a few weeks ago. My mother doesn’t know, and I am ashamed of being used. Only my closest friends know until today, and they want me to come out for #MeToo, but I’m not Ready, Please? — Survivor, age 25

My Ex-husband

I was married once before to a bartender with a drug problem. Many nights he would encourage me to come down to the bar and drink with him and his coworkers after closing up. Many nights I would stumble my way out of the bar after 2 drinks, make it home, and completely black out. The next morning I would always wake up with no underwear on and confused. This was a regular occurrence until I woke up with my husband inside of me. I told him to stop, and he shoved his hand over my face until he finished. For some reason, I stayed after that for 2 months. I tried to make it seem like it never happened, because I was too embarrassed to have to explain how my husband could rape me. The last straw was when we went out drinking, and he decided that he wanted to go buy some drugs,… Continue reading »

Keep it to myself

One afternoon I walked home from the bus, to find my brother and 2 of his friends watching a porn. They made rude comments about I’d look good like that. I tried to go to my room, but they tackled me. They all raped me, but technically, my own brother was my first! There was no protection, so I got lucky, so to speak. I told my mother, who refused to believe me. As punishment, they did it again, and another time just cause, before I went to hang out instead of coming home.

Nothing for Nothing

My mother remarried. I never liked him. He installed new security systems, smoke alarms, carbon monoxide alarms, clocks, and thermostats, in every room, including the bathrooms and garage. I felt like he was watching 24/7. I started making some money, babysitting and cleaning, and sometimes I needed a ride to where the bus didn’t go. He picked me up, but he wanted a share. I needed all I had made, he had another plan. He parked. I mean found an isolated area, and started kissing me. Then hard kissing with tongues. He felt me up, and had me feel him. I felt like a hooker, except that he would want more from that. Whenever I needed more cash, he would take me out in the car. My mother had to stop my allowance to go to bills, and he was there to drive me once a week, and I would keep my allowance. I needed… Continue reading »

“Me too” On Facebook

Recently, there’s been a lot of people posting “me too” on social media. That statement is supposed to show others they’re not alone and reveal to the word the size of this epidemic. I can’t help but feel more alone each and every time I see a “me too” status. I feel like I already knew how bad this was. I bet there’s not a girl out there who can truthfully say they’ve never experienced some sort of sexual misconduct. I feel like posting a “me too” status is supposed to make you feel better or stronger or more helpful or supportive or… anything other than the nasty feeling it gives me every time I think about it. If I posted me to…. All three of them would see it. My ex boyfriend who started dating me when I was 14 when he was 17, the one who abused me physically and mentally for three… Continue reading »

A Lifetime of #MeToo – How Sexual Abuse Changed Me

I was eleven when I lost my virginity. It happened under an old pine tree in an overgrown backyard of an old lady’s house a block away from my childhood home. The boys were older. They were rough and cruel. They laughed the whole time like it was some hysterical joke I didn’t understand. Perhaps they thought I was the punchline. It killed my innocence and woke a nightmare that has been chasing me ever since. When I was thirteen, it began happening regularly. This time it was my brother’s friends. The first time my brother told me that one of his friends wanted to be with me, I said no. I didn’t want to do it. My brother, almost 5 years older than me and over twice my weight, changed my mind with his fists. It was easier to let it happen whenever they wanted than to get beaten. It was always easier to… Continue reading »

It’s OK

My Rapist: My mother’s boyfriend. My Age: 13 Force Used: Authority We had a close family, my Mom, my bratty Little Sis, Me of course, and the latest of Mom’s Boyfriends. We used to do a lot of things together, especially watch Cable. Once we were all on the couch, and Mom and Sis fell asleep, and I was drifting off, and I rolled over against him, and he put his arm over my shoulder, and his hand rested a bit on my boob by accident. He said he was “sorry”, and I said “It’s OK”, and he didn’t move it, but I didn’t care. The next time I watched a movie with him, it was a bit less “family”, and while I sat up, he reached around me, and under my arm, and his fingers rested under my boob. He asked if I was “bothered”, and I said “It’s OK”. He would flex his… Continue reading »