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Was it rape? Or my fault?

I am not sure if what happen is even considered rape… but I am really hoping someone can help me figure this out. It all started when I was 17 years old I was going through a break up and I was not the best version of myself. My brothers best friend started flirting with me over face book and I thought an older guy would be just what I needed to fix my broken heart. He was 24 at the time and we started talking and hanging out very casually and we mutually decided to have sex which we did about 2 times before I regretted it. I was at a party and was drinking and started texting him and he told me to come over which I thought I’m not completely drunk so why not. At that time I didn’t know how drunk he really was but any who I ended up going… Continue reading »

God Saved Me

The Lord saved me and my son from death. My boyfriend (his daddy) was a drunk and I was afraid to leave since he told me that he would hunt me down if I did so. The lord knew that I couldn’t take it anymore so he sent him home. My son now has brain damage due to his father and I have nightmares — Survivor, age 27

Exposing Rapists – A Poem

You will never be free Dark is your secret Whatever you do Whoever you become However you dress That secret will turn acidy Drown it with beer Bury it in anger Throw yourself into work Grow your beard Marry the best Protect your daughters Still it will eat your insides You can never outrun it Best the truth be known Own your wrong Confess it publically Betrayer of the innocent User of violence You had no rights to another’s body You are a rapist

Hostage

For almost four years we were held hostage by two perpetrators, with my kids in Nevada. We learned first hand the meaning of torture, mental abuse, verbal abuse and sexual physical abuse. When you escape you think it’s over. The then DA didn’t show up for his job. So in a last ditch effort all was pleaded down to child abuse. He served 6 years of a 12 year sentence. All other charges thrown out. Kidnapping etc. I had to spend ten years trying to terminate his parental rights. We were finally successful. We have been battered by the system that is supposed to protect you. In this country, they don’t care what happens to woman and children! We have been stalked constantly, since his release from prison. It’s a “Good Old Boy mentality.” Welcome to the USA! No one wants to hear about this! — Survivor, age 57

The Summer of 2013

Trauma. This word can describe many things. PTSD. Car accidents. Deaths. Rape. It can mean a variety of situations, each different from the rest. My brother and I both experienced trauma. In the summer of 2013, my brother was molested, and I experienced verbal sexual abuse. And the worst part of it all, was that the abuser was my 13-year-old cousin. She was our baby-sitter for that summer. My brother and I had a great relationship with my two cousins, Amber and Brianna. Brianna being the younger one, the same age as me at that time. Amber was hired by my mother through my aunt, her sister. Occasionally, my younger cousin would tag along for the day, dropped off by my aunt in the mornings. My brother and I were only 9 years old, our minds too young to process that anything that happened that summer was wrong. Amber was to be dropped off at… Continue reading »

Someone I Thought I Could Trust

It was summer 2016, I was 17 at the time almost 18. I was in karate for 7 years, I had quit when I was 13 or 14. By this time my mom was still going and I decided to go with her to watch. I saw a few people I knew from when I had gone to the lessons. The main instructor barely recognized me but was very happy to see me. Another instructor recognized me immediately and was acting strange and different. I thought he was just being dorky and funny, but when I got home, he had messaged me. I thought it was weird at first but I went along with it. “He hadn’t seen me in a while, he probably wants to catch up.” I thought. Then he started acting inappropriately, saying I was hot and that he wanted pictures of me. A man that was 10 years older, someone who… Continue reading »

Thank you

Dear Brave Miss World Community, For the last two years I have had the privilege of reading and responding to many of your posts. It is an honor to hold space and watch healing unfold as survivors share their experiences, many for the first time. I wanted to take a moment to let you all know that I will be taking a short break from responding to Brave Miss World posts, as I am writing a book on sexual assault and rape on college campuses. It is taking a lot of my time and I want to make sure that I can give each survivor the time and respect they deserve. My plan is to be back in June when the book is complete. Until then I encourage you all to continue supporting each other. One path to healing is having other survivors who understand and stand with us in solidarity. Each of you bring… Continue reading »

CPS Let My Rapist Walk Free

Three years ago, I was a happy excited 20 year old looking forwards to an evening with her life long best mate. If only I knew less than 12 hours later my world would be turned completely upside down. We were getting ready for an evening in the local town, and her cousin who we were good friends with invited us round to his friends house for a free pre-drinks before we all went out, me and her being usual girls had bought a few outfits and shoes along as we didn’t know what to wear! We went along, and had a good start to the evening, i never was a big drinker, i was always ‘the mummy’ of the group. Anyway fast forwards through the night to getting back to the flat where we’d had pre drinks. There were only two bedrooms, and my mate had already gone and got in the single one,… Continue reading »

The Man Who Never Was

I would like to go back to December 19th of 2016, the charming man I met all in black, his hair down and his fedora hat, the man who has this smile, this look in his eyes, who danced with me, and said hurry up guys this girl and I have to get married, I was a girl with self confidence, I was in college on my way to gain a career working with children, I had happiness and self belief in the world around me, I lived in a world of sunshine, no darkness, no clouds, sure I had my fair share of hurt like everyone else. I want you to look at me now, really look at me because I am unrecognizable, I was already tiny I wasn’t someone that needed to lose weight, I fixed my hair, did my makeup I took care of myself, I had strength, I was healthy. I… Continue reading »

Out For A Walk

I went out with my dog on Christmas day and three men with a dog I saw out of the corner of me eye. I turned to look to cross the road and saw one of them staring. I heard shouting and went to go a different way home and saw the three men prowling, shit scared I walked another way and got inside burst into tears. Then next door who sexually assaulted me started banging this time I hit the wall and hurt my hand. Is there something wrong with me I’ve been raped and the neighbours continually slam doors by where I am. Both happened in my house it’s destroying me. — Survivor, age 28