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The reason for my tattoo

So I decided that I will be getting a new tattoo, it’s my tattoo that tells the story of my rape, and that i am a survivor and not a victim anymore. I changed my major in college from nursing to social work because I want to make a change in how rape victims are seen. I want to advocate and make sure victims get the justice they deserve so they can go from victim to survivor. When i was raped it happened in the fall of 2016. I went to this guy’s house to watch football and just hang out. I really didn’t pay much attention to the game because we where talking, he told me he had a daughter and about his life, how he’s trying to become a better person for his daughter. I felt comfortable with him, maybe that was because we started to drink. I had one to many drinks… Continue reading »

He used me. He left me.

I am 15 years old like a teenager doing my own thing, drama and stuff. one day i was on my snapchat doing SFS which means “shout out for shout out” it’s like you ask someone to post you and say “go add her” sum like that. That’s how you make friends you know. I need friend that time so. LOL I am a good child, made straight A’s, Happy girl ? etc. but then one day this guy added me on snapchat . let’s call him John, so i added John back because why not? we started texting he is funny, hella cute, fine etc. He lives in GA like me but he lives one hour away from me and his 2 years older than me but duh i don’t care we were just texting right? We always talk everyday 24/7, few weeks past by we start liking each other so that time we… Continue reading »

Sexually assaulted at 4

I was born in Bogota, Colombia. I am now 64. When I was 4, me and my same-age friend passed by a nearby carpentry shop that was around the corner. We knew this guy. Everybody called him “Mr. Morris”. He enticed us to go into the shop, and then he took both of us into a small room in the back. He closed the door and sat both of us on a table. Then he took his pants off and showed us his penis. This happened at least twice. The second time that he put some ring(s) around his penis. He told us to stay quiet and not to tell our parents. We said we would, but luckily I told my oldest brother (by that time he was around 19). He told my parents right away. My parents called the other girl’s parents. Suddenly there was a big mob on the street. The guy was… Continue reading »

What To Do IF You’re Not Raped By A Person of Celebrity?

I am writing, because none of the other 120 media people I contacted thought I was worth a moment of their time to respond. I am truly grateful for the “Me Too” movement that is spreading across our Country, and for the first time, America’s focus is on women who are survivors of sexual assault. It’s laughable that sexual assault on a female covers everything from an unwelcome touch, to a woman being raped, that just shows how little government thinks of women. I am so tired of Trump and his mindless minions belittling Dr. Ford, as well as other women who are courageous enough to come forward and have her voice heard and put a face on the word “rape”. I watched the questioning of Dr. Ford, and ran a gauntlet of emotions. Anger. Fear. Sadness. I cried. I yelled at the television. I cheered for the democrats who spoke. And with respect to… Continue reading »

Feelings After I was Raped 20 plus years

I am always screaming inside. What is Normal. I forgot who I was before I was raped. What is it like to be Happy. I never really sleep. I am always mad. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my Rapist(s). Why I never told anyone. I am Embarressed. I am Ashamed. I am so stupid. I let it happen. Believe me. Don’t believe me. I never really Smile. I don’t know what love really is. I am numb. Trust. Sitting in the Shower. Crying with No Sound. Who am I really. I Never want to Leave my house. Nobody knows. Everybody knows. Worse. Hurt. Pain. Sorrow. I want to die everyday. I want to live. Don’t touch me. Touch me. Where is my Laugh. I am weak. Bury my head im my pillow every night. I want to be left alone. Don’t leave me alone. Breathe. I want to forget. I… Continue reading »

High School Rape

“Mom, Dad, there’s this party tonight, everyone from school is going, I promise I’ll be safe…can I please go? Please?” I remember asking my parents to go to this party, I remember pleading with them, trying to make deals with them. But they wouldn’t have it. My father looked me in the eyes, and using my childhood nickname, he said “Letti, nothing good happens at those kind of parties, we’re not trying to be mean or strict, we’re just trying to keep you safe.” At the time, I thought that being mean and annoying was their ultimate goal, to make my life boring and miserable. I went to my room and pouted for the rest of the night. I refused dinner and did not answer their good night calls. My phone was blowing up. “Are you coming to the party?” When can you get here?” It’s already insane you need to come!” At first I… Continue reading »

I’m Confused

just wanted to post this because I don’t know what to think or why I’m even still thinking about this. And I guess I just wanted someone to tell me what I’m supposed to think about this situation. I invited someone over to my house to hang out. We had met online a few weeks before and hooked up (had sex). Afterwards he kept contacting me saying he wanted to hook up again. How much fun he had. How badly he wanted to see me again. I didn’t respond because I didn’t want to hook up with him again, and I really don’t like disappointing people so I didn’t tell him that I didn’t want to see him again, I just decided to ignore it. He still kept texting me. Finally, I realized how badly I needed money and that maybe this would be a way I could make some. A one-time thing. And I… Continue reading »

A Silent Fighter

I will not be a victim, I will be a voice. Although my voice may shake I am not weak. I am not just a survivor, I am a fighter! A girls night out took a turn for the worst, innocent flirting and being a tease with no intentions, became a horror movie I would replay in my head for days on end. A fun single girl and a lying man in a relationship. Text messages and sexts exchanged for giggles, a ride home, a drunk friend, and no way to drive. A angery sexual assulter your sober selfed braved. Watching a drunk friend pass out in the floor as a bad feeling you gain. It’s grabbing, pulling, and disgust. It’s multiple “no’s”,”please I don’t want to”, and shoving. It will stop time in a matter of seconds and minutes. It’s white refrigerator doors and a black standing paint light. It’s ripped panties, a bruise,and… Continue reading »

Attempted Rape

My mom survived an attempted rape while babysitting! Never got a college degree but badass! She’s the reason I’m a feminist! Thank you Linor for sharing yours!

I am not a rape victim

I am glad, however, that this is here. For those who have been raped, I am so sorry for what has happened to you. I pray that you are able to recover against the terrible acts done to you, and that those who raped you are judged in both a locked up cell and the afterlife. — Anne, age 15