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The Summer of 2013

Trauma. This word can describe many things. PTSD. Car accidents. Deaths. Rape. It can mean a variety of situations, each different from the rest. My brother and I both experienced trauma. In the summer of 2013, my brother was molested, and I experienced verbal sexual abuse. And the worst part of it all, was that the abuser was my 13-year-old cousin. She was our baby-sitter for that summer. My brother and I had a great relationship with my two cousins, Amber and Brianna. Brianna being the younger one, the same age as me at that time. Amber was hired by my mother through my aunt, her sister. Occasionally, my younger cousin would tag along for the day, dropped off by my aunt in the mornings. My brother and I were only 9 years old, our minds too young to process that anything that happened that summer was wrong. Amber was to be dropped off at… Continue reading »

Someone I Thought I Could Trust

It was summer 2016, I was 17 at the time almost 18. I was in karate for 7 years, I had quit when I was 13 or 14. By this time my mom was still going and I decided to go with her to watch. I saw a few people I knew from when I had gone to the lessons. The main instructor barely recognized me but was very happy to see me. Another instructor recognized me immediately and was acting strange and different. I thought he was just being dorky and funny, but when I got home, he had messaged me. I thought it was weird at first but I went along with it. “He hadn’t seen me in a while, he probably wants to catch up.” I thought. Then he started acting inappropriately, saying I was hot and that he wanted pictures of me. A man that was 10 years older, someone who… Continue reading »

Thank you

Dear Brave Miss World Community, For the last two years I have had the privilege of reading and responding to many of your posts. It is an honor to hold space and watch healing unfold as survivors share their experiences, many for the first time. I wanted to take a moment to let you all know that I will be taking a short break from responding to Brave Miss World posts, as I am writing a book on sexual assault and rape on college campuses. It is taking a lot of my time and I want to make sure that I can give each survivor the time and respect they deserve. My plan is to be back in June when the book is complete. Until then I encourage you all to continue supporting each other. One path to healing is having other survivors who understand and stand with us in solidarity. Each of you bring… Continue reading »

CPS Let My Rapist Walk Free

Three years ago, I was a happy excited 20 year old looking forwards to an evening with her life long best mate. If only I knew less than 12 hours later my world would be turned completely upside down. We were getting ready for an evening in the local town, and her cousin who we were good friends with invited us round to his friends house for a free pre-drinks before we all went out, me and her being usual girls had bought a few outfits and shoes along as we didn’t know what to wear! We went along, and had a good start to the evening, i never was a big drinker, i was always ‘the mummy’ of the group. Anyway fast forwards through the night to getting back to the flat where we’d had pre drinks. There were only two bedrooms, and my mate had already gone and got in the single one,… Continue reading »

The Man Who Never Was

I would like to go back to December 19th of 2016, the charming man I met all in black, his hair down and his fedora hat, the man who has this smile, this look in his eyes, who danced with me, and said hurry up guys this girl and I have to get married, I was a girl with self confidence, I was in college on my way to gain a career working with children, I had happiness and self belief in the world around me, I lived in a world of sunshine, no darkness, no clouds, sure I had my fair share of hurt like everyone else. I want you to look at me now, really look at me because I am unrecognizable, I was already tiny I wasn’t someone that needed to lose weight, I fixed my hair, did my makeup I took care of myself, I had strength, I was healthy. I… Continue reading »

Out For A Walk

I went out with my dog on Christmas day and three men with a dog I saw out of the corner of me eye. I turned to look to cross the road and saw one of them staring. I heard shouting and went to go a different way home and saw the three men prowling, shit scared I walked another way and got inside burst into tears. Then next door who sexually assaulted me started banging this time I hit the wall and hurt my hand. Is there something wrong with me I’ve been raped and the neighbours continually slam doors by where I am. Both happened in my house it’s destroying me. — Survivor, age 28

Hidden Emotions

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years. When we first started dating she told me that she had been raped and was very matter of fact about it. The only details she gave me was that it was someone in her family. Fast forward a few months and she introduces me to her mother, step father, and siblings at a family dinner. Her parents where extremely nice and she seems to have a good relationship with both of them. Throughout the night though she seems to get more uncomfortable and when her mom says that we can spend the night (in different rooms) instead of making the almost two hour drive home she freaks out says we have to go. We leave and she doesn’t say anything all the way home. I never pressed her for information until a few a few days ago when we went to visit… Continue reading »

Let’s Fight Back With Love

Hi fellow survivors. The recent posts I am seeing on this site sadden me because we are all strong survivors and we should try to always remember this. I know like me, many of you are still having a hard time processing that a man who is so clearly a rapist was elected as our 45th president. After completely going crazy and telling sweet old ladies in my family who voted for Trump that they have disgusting morals I mustered the strength to accept that ignorance and biases over powered logical decision making. A lot of otherwise intelligent Americans simply did not have the exposer to begin to understand the subtle way biases like sexism and racism creep up and make decisions for us. The truth is under different life circumstances I may have been just as blinded as they were when they voted. It took some time and A TON of emotional strength, but… Continue reading »

Scared Like Crazy

I have never been raped but, I’ve been scared of being raped since I was 14. That’s 7 years of living in fear. My college’s campus is pretty safe but whenever I hangout with my guy friends outside of baseball practice (I’m the team’s #1 fan and photographer) or the cafeteria I get scared that they could rape me. I know that they wouldn’t since we are all close friends but they drink a lot on the weekends that scares me. I’m never with them when they drink but it always worries me. Even when they are sober and walk me back to my dorm room during the night hours I get scared. I often have nightmares of strangers raping me and the guys have to help me but its still scary. I just wish I could over come this fear. I just get scared that I will have to come face to face with… Continue reading »

Brave Miss(es) Indeed

All my life, women have felt they could intimidate me and hurt me. Why? To make themselves feel better? Because I deserve pain and humiliation? Every instance of significant harassment and assault was at the hands of a woman. When I was 13, the girlfriends I had cherished turned on me and abandoned me. They taunted me and told others not to be friends with me, because I wasn’t worth it. I was stupid, retarded, ugly, and I’d never have a boyfriend. No boy could or would ever want me. When I was 24, an ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend pretended to be my friend, pretended to want to get to know me, only to get me drunk and sexually use me to get back at our ex-boyfriend. When I was 32, a Mexican woman (who had moved to America from Mexico) said that she didn’t like the way I looked and that I didn’t belong in her… Continue reading »