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My Mother’s Albatross

My mother was raped by a “friend” when she was nineteen, something she never told me until I was in my twenties. Once she did tell me, a lot of things began to make sense. I never understood why she always slept with the light or why she was so adamant about me not wearing makeup or why she was visibly shaken when “Kung Fu Fighting” came on the radio one time. Now I understand. Looking back, I can see how much not talking about it has effected her life. Like she had to carry this enormous weight that was invisible to everyone but her. A crushing weight made doubly so by the fact that she couldn’t utter the words “I was raped” for fear of how others would react, or maybe because she wanted to forget it happened altogether. But, after forty one years, my mother has found the courage to speak about her… Continue reading »

Justice

Just need to express my anger about something that happened many years ago. I am a secondary survivor I would say. I was not physically raped by this man but my niece was at the tender age of 9 until she was 11. She is 47 now. I found out about it a few years ago. This whatever he is took advantage of his on daughter, I suspect his son and others in the family. I was 14 when he exposed himself to me. I have be haunted by that all my life as if it was yesterday. This family secret is something that I feel needs to be revealed. His wife is my sister and he has her brainwashed. He is 70 plus years now and has never been reported or paid the penalty for theses crimes. Should I let this remained unsolved? — Survivor, age 61

Help

It happened two weeks ago in school I went to the bathroom and then there were two men. It happened, but they didn’t cut me or bruise me. They didn’t want anyone to notice after I ran from school and walked home and started cutting myself. I still don’t know how to stop this feeling.

Rape

So this is a bit difficult but I need to be able to express myself and doing that with my family hasn’t been helpful because they don’t understand my pain and what I went through. When I was 13 Years old I was followed grabbed forcibly and thrown into an abandoned staircase of a project building in the Bronx (NY). There I screamed, I fought, I tried my best to get away but it was like the more I struggled the more violent he got. It got so bad to a point where he took my head and banged it on a pipe I then became weak and he took advantage of me. That changed my life drastically! I hated myself. I didn’t have the support of anyone. I then became depressed and began cutting myself because that was the only thing that helped with the pain. I ended up stopping because my godmother had… Continue reading »

Rape at Bogota, Colombia

Sueño / Recuerdo I was running running running Past the halls, the screams, the stairs My hand was busy on something -Probably the piece of glass I used to cut him. And then she ripped her necklace off Just as they ripped out clothes off Shattered glass -Another way of showing their power-She said And it was oh so violent He grabbed my hair The floor was cold and There was blood everywhere All I had to do was swallow That was just too much All I had to do I would not; I did. And the taste of his sperm I did not bear -I wanna throw up. -Don’t you dare. (-Why won’t he kill me?) I stood up. And it hurt and they pushed me and I fell and I hit myself and I held to the window and someone passed by and broke it (And they broke me) and they smashed my… Continue reading »

I Barely Knew Them

When I was 15, I went to the parade for my local fire department with my best friend. I was in good spirits, and the day seemed to be going well. As it was getting dark, my friend and I met this group of 4 guys in the park, and my friend thought they were all cute and immediately began flirting with them. I was/still am a lot more shy than her, so it took me a while to warm up, but I did eventually. After a bit of chit chat, my friend went off with one of them to go make out or whatever which seemed in innocent enough. I wasn’t comfortable with her leaving but I didn’t want to hold her back. When she left, another one of these new acquaintances went home, so I was left with 2 of them. Immediately I got more uncomfortable. It was late at this time, so… Continue reading »

He Was a Cop

Just writing this brings tears to my eyes. It’s still so raw to me even if it was two years ago. I was 18 and I started dating this cop I had make at my gas station job after he’d contacted me on Facebook. I’d liked him for so long I couldn’t believe he actually liked me. Whenever we’d text he’d always ask me did I want to ride out with him after duty. I turned him down but I finally said yes one night. We we’re supposed to stay in town but he took me across state lines when we were only supposed to talk. I was hoarse with a bad cold I even left my glasses but he drove me an hour and thirty minutes from home. He was so off that night and he scared me. He looks scary. He got mad at me and took my phone away from me even… Continue reading »

What’s Done Is Done

I have had few sexual experiences but none of them have been entirely consensual. My first experience was when I was 14, I was playing truth or dare with what had been my two closest friends, a brother and a sister. I was dared to have sex with the brother while the sister watched. I kept saying no to begin with but they started using peer pressure and using their continued friendship against me so I had to say yes. I come from a small town, I had to keep what few friends I had. I lived on a large property at the time so all three of us went for a walk, eventually they stopped and told me to get on the ground and take off my pants. I did as I was told and it wasn’t long before the guy got on top and entered me. I was extremely uncomfortable and told them… Continue reading »

Still Think It Was My Fault

I don’t really know what to say. I am currently 17 years old and i would need 4 hands to count all the “men” i can somewhat recall sleeping with. Lets just say nothing really phases me. I feel as if bad things are happening all the time. Around me and too me so i don’t let anything bother me. Ive been passed out drunk before and have had sex with “men” without knowing or remembering what happened. I even remember one time i was hanging out with these 2 guys and the brother was off with his gf and i was with the other brother and i was 2 water bottles of Malibu and a handful of pills fucked up and i went to school the next day and everybody was saying things like you guys fucked and nice job to the guy and i was fucking confused? Like what the fuck do you… Continue reading »

First Crush

I was rapped only when I was 15. I was a very shy and extremely beautiful girl and many people wished that when I’ll grow up then they will marry their son with me. I was living a happy and luxurious life and when my father had to go to a foreign country for a business meeting and I also said that I also want to go. We went there and I met three families who were also the richest and most noble families in their country and they were quite happy at having me there and meeting my father as he was also a very rich businessman. Those three uncles were brothers and they each had one son. I met their sons and they were so handsome that I had my first crush on one of them. I also felt that they are attracted towards me but we didn’t show it neither we talked… Continue reading »