I’ve been raped twice. One left left me bruised, one didn’t leave a mark. Both hurt the same. When I was 16 I got a boyfriend. He was older, and cool, and in a band. He took me to parties, and gave me weed, and made me feel cool, too. I’d only had sex once before him, but I liked it. I should have realized we only have sex after he’d given me something. I should have realized after that day I managed to stop him from forcing it into my ass, the day I hadn’t smoked like he thought I had. But I liked him. I did realize one day after smoking a bowl when I felt something very very wrong. My heart was beating out of my chest, I couldn’t move, I wanted to scratch everywhere, and I felt faint at the same time. I asked him what was going on. He laughed… Continue reading »
My Story
I was doing well in school, and I was in ColorGuard and was a honor roll student than I met him. We started out as friends, we played video games together. Then we became good friends. I developed a likeness for him because he was the first male to ever really want to talk to me in some time. I had told them this. Somehow I don’t remember, but he got my sisters number and he asked he if she had shaved and I just got so pissed, I should’ve known to stop talking to him than. That didn’t go as planned because he would keep on texting me saying stuff like he would hurt himself. Nights later, we decided to play some video games and than he asked me to send him a nude so that he knows that I trust him. I asked him if there was another way he said no (we… Continue reading »
Awareness Among Teenage Boys
I recently watched the Brave Miss World movie with my teenage sons who are 13, 14 and 16 as I thought they needed to see it. Their reactions ranged from anger to horror to outright indignation about what happens regarding rape and sexual assault. I am very open with my boys about a range of issues but even I was surprised by their reactions. After the movie there have been many discussions and questions from the boys and I know they are discussing the movie with their friends and really want it shown at their school. I really encourage all parents to get their teenagers to watch this movie to raise awareness and to also talk to local high schools to try and host a viewing. If we really want to change the way people think about sexual abuse then I believe that we can help the next generation by getting our kids and our… Continue reading »
Embrace It All
Hello fellow survivors. I want to share a key moment in my recovery process after I was raped by a stranger in a hotel because I hope that it will help you with the process of going through all the guilty feelings and the stages of grief (just like when someone dies), to come out on the other side. From the very beginning it seemed that everyone around me was more convinced that I was raped, and that it wasn’t my fault, than I was. Even with all the reassurance in the world, I still had nagging thoughts that it was my fault and I could have stopped it. My recovery process was like a roller coaster of extreme angry highs and deep guilt-fueled lows. I chose not to start on an antidepressant because based on my training in psychology and the advise of my therapist, I knew that this was all part of the… Continue reading »
From Scared Girl to Strong Mother
Though I’m sure I experienced some type of sexual abuse as a child younger than 6, I cannot recount those memories. I do recall being overly sexual by the time I was 6 years old. I do, also, recall hating being around my aunts boyfriend (who I later found out molested my cousins). By the time I reached 9 years old I was already in training bras. At 12 years old I clearly remember the first moment I was molested. I went to ask my mother for something. She was laying in bed with her boyfriend with her back turned towards me. Her boyfriend reached over her, grabbed my arm and pretended to tickle me but in actuality was grabbing my breasts as I tried to free myself from his grasp. After that, I never wanted to be alone with him. From that single moment I hated my breasts. To this day, I can’t tolerate… Continue reading »
Read This Please
AS For those who’ve had a HORRID PAST Please I ENCOURAGE YOU TO READ: DO NOT EVER THINK OF KILLING YOURSELF EVERRRR PLS DON’T DO IT! It does suck because the world today is messed up, Ignorant and seems we have no one left to trust That’s true but that doesn’t mean you should let yourself suffer from the fault of the people around you. YOU ARE BRAVE in this world you are one of the most beautiful beings surrounded by ignorant people you shouldn’t let other people ignorance affect you BECAUSE YOUR A STRONG BUTTERFLY You can and WILL Survive this Messy world I’ve suffered the same that feeling you when everything around you seems utterly hopeless and you feel hopeless “Those are one of the hard trials in Life” and Oh can I ask one wish from you this NEW YEAR 2016 Pretty pleaaase for me DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! Disregard your… Continue reading »
Raped By A Registered Sex Offender
I was 40 years old when it happened to me. I was a virgin because of my faith and beliefs about not having sex outside of marriage and I have never been married. I’m also physically disabled–I was using a walker at the time and waiting for my insurance to pay for a mobility scooter. It happened in my apartment. I had gone downstairs to the mailboxes to get my mail. A man was down there getting mail as well. He introduced himself and said he was a new tenant who had just moved in a few weeks ago. We shook hands and exchanged pleasantries, then he asked me if I wanted to talk outside while he smoked. We talked outside for about 10 minutes. He asked me if I was married or dating, but I didn’t think that was anything unusual. We found out that we both liked video games, so I asked him… Continue reading »
Ashamed Afraid Angry Grey
When I was 19 years old, I got my first job working in a fast food restaurant. I was so happy to have gotten the job. I was so proud to surprise my father with this news as he’d helped me in the past with work and this time I’d done it by myself. Even though the interview was very odd- the interviewer was almost 2 hours late and he didn’t read my carefully constructed resumé I’d worked so hard to make- I was ecstatic. My father worked for the corporate version of this fast food chain. I worked for the franchisee. It turned out that the owner of my store and my father knew each other. The young man, who was 28 at the time, who hired me found out about my father’s position in the company and believed I’d gotten the job with my fathers help. He was assigned to train me and… Continue reading »
Raped and Molested
This is long, bare with me, please. From what I remember, it started when I was 6 continued until the summer going into 6th grade. I was molested almost every night by my step father (who was drinking and smoking at the time). One night, I was raped. My stepdad has been in my life since I was three months old to present time. So we was once close, until he betrayed me, until he hurt me. I don’t remember the first time he touched me nor the last time, but I remember the rape. It’s compacted into my mind, on repeat. I held it in for so long thinking I would be okay, only so my brother could have a family. Until one night in 7th grade, I broke down crying, and couldn’t stop. My mom continued to ask what was wrong but I couldn’t speak, I was scared to tell anyone, to hurt… Continue reading »
My Daughter
Hello I’m Jack, I just finished watching Brave Miss World.I must say I cried like a baby. I wanted to share with you my daughters story of being molested at age 6 by and older girl who would visit her grandparents who lives across the street from our home. To give you some background our home and life, our lives are faith filled and my daughter who I’ll call P for this letter is a very unique little girl. Very loving and pure of heart and mind, her life was all rainbows and butterflies. She is very intelligent and kind. She is my best fiend in the world, we have a very close bond in life. The girl who molested her, I’ll call M. She is 3 yrs older. I came home from work and asked my mother in law where P was. She told me in her room playing with M so I went… Continue reading »