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When will it be enough?

Why is it not enough? Why is my reluctance not enough to make you stop? Why is my “no” not enough? Why is my “no no no” not enough? Why are my clawing, shoving, desperately-trying-to-pull-my-pants-up hands not enough? Why is my cry of “oh god make it stop, please make it stop” still not enough for you? Why are my tears not enough? Why do I have to be violated and then told that I’m too young to recognize that women want a man who “takes charge in the bedroom”? Why does this have to happen over and over and over again all over the world? I am heartbroken for all my sisters who have endured the same pain. It is not fair that we have lost pieces of our souls after these monsters. It is not fair that the gaping wounds attract more predators, like sharks drawn to blood in the water, who tear… Continue reading »

How Many Times?

I have been raped, I don’t know anymore whether I admit, or declare it. My first time, also my first time, was on a date with my boyfriend. We were making out, and he went up my shirt, and I stopped him with a no. He kept trying until he got to 2nd base, and then went under the shirt, and an emphatic no didn’t stop his hands. I included a no at each stage, through penetration, intercourse and orgasm. my opinion was clear, and unimportant. On Monday, he had a date with a classmate, and we weren’t committed, in that order. Less than a week later, we had the stereotypical rivals football game, which we lost in the fourth. Walking home, through a playground in the minor creek and woods, I ran into a guy. He was from the other school, from his jacket. He was cute, nicely built, hot butt. He was charming,… Continue reading »

Raped by a work colleague

This starts April 2017 i went for a team meal with work colleagues, a few of us stayed out for drinks. So this “man” decided he would stay out with me and a few girls from our team. As the night went on 1 by 1 girls started to leave so i decided to stay for a few more with this man. This man was on my team he is 20 years my senior, has a daughter a few years younger than me. So what i can remember was going to a few places, he just kept buying drinks, like i struggled to keep up,We was having a laugh. Then all i can remember is a few seconds of me in a taxi with him then it goes black…. I remember being guided into a room,i fall to the floor, it goes black….i wake up its dark i feel beard on my face kissing me,i… Continue reading »

I was assaulted twice at the same party

I had just returned from a year of studying abroad, so my 3 best friends decided to throw a small party for me. I had just turned 17. It was a small party for close friends, and the cousin and a couple of his friends of my best friend. Through the night, I got quite drunk. I don’t remember how it happended, but I somehow ended up in a locked bedroom with a friend of the cousin (so I didn’t know the guy). He told me the others had locked us inside. I believed him, since I was quite drunk. I laid down on the bed, I told him, that I was just gonna sleep until they’d lock us out again. He didn’t listen. He started touching and kissing me, even though I kept saying I wanted to sleep. Then he fingered me. It hurt, and it wasn’t pleasurable at all. I didn’t do anything…. Continue reading »

Assault?

I don’t even know how to start this, but I guess I need another opinion… so here it goes. A few weeks ago, I was at my friend’s frat. He’s a really great guy, and I am friends with both him and his girlfriend, so I have always felt comfortable around him. Anyways, he invited me to a small party they were having, and I decided to go because I thought it would be fun, even though his girlfriend was out of town, and I am better friends with her. I planned to spend the night there because I wasn’t about to drive home drunk, and I had been there a ton of times before and everyone had always been really nice to me. Many of my other girl friends had also slept there before, so I didn’t feel uncomfortable about it or anything. Anyways, by the time I decided to go to bed, I… Continue reading »

I don’t know what happened

I was at my friends graduation party. I was drinking quite a bit and before I realized it was was way too drunk. Every one ended up getting kicked out. My best friend told me I could stay at her house which was just a walk away. Her older brother helped me walk there. When we got back her house I laid down on the couch and started going to sleep. Then her brother came out and woke me up and asked me if I wanted to go in her room just to talk. I was drunk and said okay. When we got there he started massaging me and I got really tired. I remember just feeling so heavy and like I couldn’t move. The guy then proceeded to take my pants off and started fingering me. I didn’t want it but I could find the energy to open my eyes let alone talk. He… Continue reading »

f*ck you

You might not remember…I barely do. I was insecure then. I drank a lot…maybe more than I should have. But I didn’t think it would happen to me. I remember being at a party. The next thing I know I was in your bed. You were on top of me. I told you I was a virgin that I didn’t want to have sex. I don’t know if we did. I remember how you smelled. I remember not wanting it. I don’t know what we did. I tried to forget. But I kept seeing you on campus. It came back to me slowly- who you were. But eventually I remembered. I remembered waking up from a blackout with you on top of me. I don’t know how I got home after. I don’t know what you did to me when I was in your room, your bed. The next day my roommates told me I… Continue reading »

My 21st Birthday

I “celebrated” my 21st birthday with 3 of my cousins. At first it was fun. I was sober enough to know what I was doing. They told me they wanted to take me out that Friday night so we did. Btw, I was hanging with 2 of my girl cousins and 1 boy cousin. They’re all over the age of 28. They told me that they would take care of me. And that I should have fun and experience getting drunk. I believed them and trusted them. Apparently, I thought wrong. We went to 3 bars and by the last bar, the last thing I remember was waiting for our Lyft driver on the sidewalk. I don’t remember going back to the apartment. I don’t remember how my guy cousin got ahold of me in his room. Everything is so fuzzy. But I do faintly remember him on top of me. He kept telling me,… Continue reading »

After Wedding

I had attended a friend’s wedding, and with an open bar, I was thoroughly drunk. It was fortunate that they provided a van service home, because I was in no shape to drive! I got home, changed, and blissfully went to bed. I awoke to my pajama top open, and my pants were gone! I cleared enough to see that my Son had arrived after, undressed, forcibly penetrated, and was having intercourse with me while I was unconscious! “Whoa, Yea, Nice!”, was all he said as he came! He closed his pants, and left, like it was nothing. The next morning, he was not even apologetic! “I was drunk.”, was all he could offer. I threw him out to live with his girlfriend, and he could get his stuff off the porch, as I changed the locks. Any complaints and I countered with he could be in jail now, so I was being more generous… Continue reading »

Cavemen

By BF and me went to drink beers at the Door to Hell, a cave in the woods(it might have a name, but that’s what we called it). Basically a private place for the kids to drink, and the homeless clean the clans for salvage cash. We all drank a full can, and then I went to a 2nd, while we listened to music. My BF keeps drinking, until he passed out. It was shortly after that this guy starts talking about doing me while me BF was out on the floor. I tried to wake him, but he was too out. There was 5 of them, and there was nothing I could do to stop them pulling my clothes off. They took pictures and video of there assault. They made sure each went at least twice. When they were tired, they dropped me $2, and left. I couldn’t walk, so I just lied there… Continue reading »