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Multiple Times

Raped by a caregiver at 6 years old and then again after he was released from captivity. Second rape was also kidnapping and stabbing to punish me for telling the first time. I almost died. I blocked the trauma from my memory. My mother tried to get me help but when I became a teenager she called me Slut and told me I would one day remember why. I don’t speak to her anymore. Raped again at 19 while at university. Friends didn’t want to help me because they felt it was only date rape and maybe I just wanted attention. I gained weight to look unattractive so men would leave me alone. I hoped to find a man who would love me for me. Instead I was broken and alone for many years. I lost the weight to get healthy and tried to be conservative with my appearance but only found more abuse. Started… Continue reading »

Over 40 years Ago

I have been raped both by a stranger and on a date, both in my teen years. The stranger was giving me a ride and took a side road out into the woods. I was helpless to fight physically, so I just acted like it was ok and tried to think of how to stay alive. My biggest fear was being left in the woods and no one would find my body. He took me back to town. I was so numb, I didn’t even know what day it was. I asked him to drop me off at the school and it was Saturday. When I went to a doctor’s office, they wouldn’t look me in the eye and just sort of cleaned me up and sent me home. I felt dirty and ashamed. I went to an atty. that told me I should not speak of it, because no one would believe me, and… Continue reading »

My Horrific Nightmare

Three years ago I was raped. I met a man who was a marine and had mutual friends. We hit it off and began dating. After two months he got out of the marine corp and moved back to his home of Reno, NV. Truthfully, I knew he had issues. I had caught him lying..etc. But I was 29 and had issues with relationships so I felt I needed to try and make one work. He wanted me to come visit him in Reno and offered to pay which was unusual (he was very stingy with money). But I went anyway. The first couple days were great. He offered me this drug called bath salt that he bought at a store. It made me super awake for two days…I didn’t have much experience with drugs but I wanted to make him happy. It was the third day that everything changed. I remember him giving me… Continue reading »

Halting The Pain

It’s taken me 30 years to be able to face what happened to me, let alone be open about it. I have spoken about it since about a year or so only with a few people, and the hardest thing to do, and the only reason I do not go public with this, although I know it would be healing and could help others, is that I do not want to hurt my parents, who do not know about it. I don’t want them to suffer the knowledge of this; they are so loving and protective. At 15 I was at party with a boy from high school that I was dating and a friend of mine from high school. I do not remember too many details, as I have only recently recollected the memories that were repressed, due to alcohol and that something was out in my drink to make me pass out. But… Continue reading »

Abuse and Rape

I was sexually abuse by a young man (close to 18) from the time I was 5 until I was 9. Then when I was 16 a man who I considered my big brother raped me. He took me home from a wedding. I had gotten drunk at the wedding. When I got home, I was unable to get the key to work in the lock due to being drunk. As I was fumbling with the key, he reached up under my dress and ripped off my pantyhose. I got him to stop by saying we were too exposed on the front porch. He followed me into the house, pushed me onto the floor and raped me. He called me the next day and said that I should not tell anyone because it would tear apart the family. I believed him and did not tell anyone for close to 40 years. I used to blame… Continue reading »

In Denial of My Rape

When I was fifteen and sixteen, I was in an abusive relationship. He raped me four times, and had me convinced that it wasn’t rape because we were together. He would tell me things like, “I love you so much. I just couldn’t help it.” and “Don’t you love me? This is what people in love do.” after he was done. He also got angry once and shoved me against a door frame afterward because I had “just laid there.” My mother found out about the abuse in November, and made me end the relationship. Even though I realized that I had been abused by him. I was in denial about the rapes until next summer, when I told my family about my boyfriend. I’m very lucky, because they were supportive of me and respected my decision not to report it. Because the state I live in doesn’t offer restraining orders to minors, I had… Continue reading »

Domestic rape

Great for Linor and her support system. Yeehah. I’m really happy someone actually believed her and did something about it. Most women of domestic violence/rape are shunned, embarrassed, ignored, ridiculed, blamed, etc. Even in the good ol’ middle class US of A… mostly by family members and friends. This is very common. Family of the abuser doesn’t want to deal and after the fact, the wife/victim is not their concern even if they have been in the family for years. After years of asking for help. Crying out. Desperate for someone to do something, we end up devastated, ruined and without anything. No one believes us. Nobody! Of course not, the abuser is ALWAYS innocent with his family. You opened up the dirty secret and now you shall suffer! There is rarely help out there.. No one really wants to deal with someone that has been through this trauma… sad to say. Most of us… Continue reading »

Looking for a lawyer & advocate

My name is Schlomit. I was Raped at 3.5 yrs by an 18 year old who was on some kind of drugs. He tied me up and blindfolded me and after all the pain of what he put me through I was lucky to convince him to let me go to find my mother. My mother Rachel was also a rape survivor and the pain she felt to find me raped at such a young age was immense. After spanking me because I had disappeared from the house she realized I was injured somehow so she rushed me to the emergency room where I required stitches from the violation. Telling my mom what happened was the best thing in the long run because my mom found a social worker and had the man was arrested for what he had done. The damage perhaps to my soul is something that I continue to try to heal…. Continue reading »

Gang Raped at 16

5 days after my 16th birthday, I was gang raped. I was taken from a party to an apartment where they took turns raping me for hours. There were around 10 of them, I’m not exactly sure. I remember being left alone for long patches of time, this was when they were watching football. I tried to escape but I had to walk through the area where they were to get to the front door. I fell and the biggest one picked me up and carried me back into the bedroom. I will always remember him saying ‘we’re not finished with you yet’, and how he called me ‘sweetie’ and ‘baby’ while raping me. For years I blamed myself, telling myself I shouldn’t have been drinking. Some of my most creative moments have come from the elaborate rationales I have used to make this my fault. The silence is so isolating. My life was such… Continue reading »

Sexist Families Leave Girls Vulnerable to Rape

Having survived two childhood rapes and two violently sexist ex partners, I would suggest that the current system is totally set up to protect the perpetrators and is hugely biaised against the women and children that are assaulted by men and boys. I did speak out to friends at the time of my rapes when I was a child, but none of them seemed to believe me, even though one of my friends had been in the same bed when we were attacked together and I was digitally raped by four unknown boys. The thing that made me despair was that I was treated as a liar in this instance even though no one treated me as a liar in other circumstances and I couldn’t figure out why or what I’d done wrong in the situation to cause it. That shame and guilt stuck with me in two violent relationships where the guys lied and… Continue reading »