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End of Innocence

I had just turned 18. I knew everything or thought I did and my father’s temper was as bad as mine. We got into a fight and he told me to leave and to spite him I did. I went to my best friends house with the intent to stay a few days then talk to my dad. That night my friend’s mother’s boyfriend, decided we should all get loaded and forget about everything. He never completely sat right with me and to this day I still have a little voice that chides me for not listening to it. I don’t think I was just drunk, but I was definitely also drunk. Some how I ended up naked or near to in the living room floor. Everyone had started to disperse, my best friend was throwing up, her mother went to her room and I was alone. I felt hands on me and I was… Continue reading »

No Title Will Stop How I Feel

After watching Brave Miss World, I saw how strong victims have been. They’ve been able to share without feeling embarrassment and shame, which is what this movement has been about. I am not so brave as you all. I was molested as a child and stayed away from any human compassion. When I tried to make progress with even a hug, I was unable to with my family because they are who knew it was happening. I did a good job at blocking it out until I went to a house party at a mutual friend’s neighbor’s house party. By then I had not taken any drugs and just dabbled with alcohol. I was 18, I was ignorant. I was vulnerable. Not vulnerable in the way most would think so, but more so naive. A man, 12 years older than myself at the time liquored and roofied my drinks. When it was happening, all I… Continue reading »

Just a Child

I am twenty-four, and have the unfortune of stating that I was raped twice. The first time i was thirteen years old, just a child, a virgin, with dreams of becoming a writer. I had my first boyfriend. He too was 13. A lot of the girls & boys at my school were having sex, a few of the girls were pregnant. I knew what sex was and knew that i was not ready. But even my protests were ignored that night. He….the boyfriend destroyed me that night. Pushed himself on me, pressing his entire body weight heavy on my tiny frame. I still hear the sounds of my underwear being ripped from my body, the disgusting grunts he made as he invaded my virginal body. After it happened, I never told anyone. Not even my mum, dad, siblings or friends. I knew what he had done. I felt….scared, fear. Above all the shame, disgust… Continue reading »

Erased From Memory

It was many years ago. I was 21. Was new in new country. In Poland they just start marshal law in1981 so I couldn’t go back home. I was looking for any work and place to stay. Some people told me about Polish Club Party. I went there and it showed up to be club of Polish Jews. During the party I met many people. One of them offered me some work to help in some restaurant arranging weddings. I supposed to start in few days. Other guy told me that he has a place to stay for me. I thought that Polish people abroad supposed to help each other. So I trusted him. Told him that I will pay for the room after I earn working in the restaurant. He told me not to worry. Next day in the evening he drove me to my new place away from the town. I had to… Continue reading »

Is It Really Rape?

One week ago at a Halloween party, I blacked out and woke up with a woman from the party. I was with her for eight hours, but remember less than 10 seconds. The last thing I remember is feeling somewhat drunk, but still alert and having fun with a big group of people at my friend’s house. Then everything goes black and the next memory I have is of being in a room alone with this unfamiliar woman, apparently interacting with her sexually. I don’t remember what was happening at the time. I felt sluggish and heavy. I don’t know how I got there, how my clothes were removed, or if I was even conscious the whole time. I have a few one second memories, but none of them include giving my consent to be touched. I don’t know if I simply had too much to drink or if I was drugged. There were a… Continue reading »

Six Years of Denial

After six years, I am finally allowing myself to acknowledge that I was raped. The rapist was someone who I had recently became close friends with. It happened after a dinner party at his apartment, after everyone left. I was so shocked and confused I didn’t even realize what was happening, my body almost went numb and I felt physically powerless, but I was shouting NO! I was 19 and a virgin. I reacted with shock and denial. A few months later I moved across the country and started a new life. I am now married and my husband is the only one who knows about it. I am having what I think are PTSD symptoms and I don’t know what to do about it. Should I talk about it to a family member? Would that help? I have anxiety attacks and I get very irrationally angry sometimes, which are things that have never been… Continue reading »

Bringing the Stories to Light

I am so grateful for the bravery and commitment to change that Linor has demonstrated. When watching Brave Miss World I was moved by her courage. I have been in contact with Linor and the Brave Miss World team because I am also working toward ending the silence of rape culture. I am completely agree with Linor that rape thrives in silence and as a society, together we can find our voices, tell our stories and collectively stand together to make change. The project I am heading is called bringing the stories to light. I am collecting stories from those effected by sexual abuse/ assault and am going to be making a book out of the stories. My sole intention is to raise awareness and break the silence. I would like to encourage those who resonated with Brave Miss World to consider having a look at the bringing stories to light project. You can find… Continue reading »

Raped Three Times

I’m 21 years old and I would like to share my story. When I was 10 years old, my uncle’s friend who worked at his place, tried to rape me. My cousin said that he wanted to talk with me. I went to the shop who were next to my grandpa’s house. He took me in to the changing room and started to kiss me. While he was touching me all over my body, I begged him to let me go. I understood that it was not right. He finally let me go and I ran out and got back to my grandpa’s house. I pretended that nothing happened. Then when I was older, I was 12 years old, I was playing with my friend when her dad took us in to his room and told us that we haven’t behaved. He had me on his lap and started to put his hand in my… Continue reading »

I Dated My Rapists

I was raped three times in my life. After seeing the documentary Brave Miss World and hearing Joan Collins, from the film, who married her rapist, it resonated a lot with me. I was first raped when I was 16 years old by my boyfriend. I was a virgin waiting for marriage. I was so innocent and I felt that everything was robbed from me. He took me on a romantic date on a beach to have night picnic with wine. I was 16 and should not have been drinking and should not have lied to my mother about where I would be. We started making out heavily and he asked me to take off my underwear. I said no, but he begged me and pleaded with me until I gave in. I told him that I was not having sex because I was not ready. He claimed that he just wanted to feel skin… Continue reading »

Date Rape Drug

I am 67 now. In 1984 my younger sister met a man and he drugged her with a date rape drug. Her story was like so many I have heard. She woke up naked and didn’t know how she had gotten there. She was horrified. She knew she had been raped, but of course he was telling her it was consensual sex. Weeks later she realized she was pregnant. She finally told me what had happened and ask me to go with her to have an abortion. A year later we are out one night at a bar, it is getting close to closing time and every one is getting ready to leave. We are milling around deciding who is riding in what cars. I start feeling very strange, so I excuse myself to go to the ladies room. While I was in the bathroom I could feel I was loosing control of my body… Continue reading »