I was 17 when I was drugged and raped. I was on holiday with my best friend, and it was our 2nd night out. We went to a bar and started chatting to a group of lads. At the time it seemed so genuine and I was having a good time. The guy who raped me separated me from my friend. She left and I was the only one left at the bar. My mind goes blank, until I was in the hotel when he was raping me. Did he drag me back? Did I agree to go back? I couldn’t move when he was raping my body was like jelly as my drink was spiked. I let him to do what he needed to do and soon thought it will be over. I then escaped with my rapist next to the side of me. I ran out of the hotel and ran for my… Continue reading »
My Fight
I am forced to live in a house with young men. My brother and three others. I put up a fight every night. It’s not enough. It’s never enough. The worst part is they know I’m a lesbian, and i hate it. They always say they will change my mind. Make me enjoy it. The scars across my back and front from their knives and nails obviously don’t prove anything to them. I’m just another toy to be used and abused at their will. I’m kept in a house, in a country where I don’t speak the language. I am absolutely powerless.
Light In The Dark
I grew up hearing all the right information when it came to date rape, sexual assault and healthy relationships. My mother, my school and other sources were good at teaching me the facts about these realities. Even being equipped with the tools to be able to recognize these risks and a strong head on my shoulders I still found myself to be a victim of sexual assault on multiple occasions. This first encounter was when I was 16, at a party. I had a few alcoholic drinks, which were “shared” by a close friend who I trusted and had known since I was 8. Shortly after this I remember my body literally become a pile of jello. I was complete dead weight, paralyzed. A group of people carried me inside and laid me down on the couch, I could still hear, smell, see and feel everything around me but was unable to move my body… Continue reading »
Innocence Taken
As a 17 year old girl who was drugged, raped and impregnated by my own boyfriend, I would like to speak out and stand tall. My life was taken from me and I was forced to endure a full-term pregnancy only to be abandoned by my own parents and sent off into the dark winter night to an institution where I was subjected to malnutrition, humiliation, dehumanizing treatment and then tortured in L&D by professionals who were mandated to provide care and protection. My firstborn child was then trafficked into the ‘infant-adoption’ industry and subjected to being less than worthy as a ‘bastard’ taken in by infertile strangers. I wish rapists could be held accountable for the carnage they have inflicted upon Womankind. I would like to reclaim my innocence but that can only be done by speaking the name of my rapist and having him charged.
Still Unable to Tell People
What I remember from that night is feeling flattered that someone older was paying attention. I was underage in a bar. I don’t remember much after that except three men carrying me into a motel room, all at least ten years older. One was the owner of the bar, who was at least 20 years older. I only vaguely remember that. I woke up in the morning next to a man who told me nothing happened, but I had an odd recollection of some kind of sexual act. I felt tremendous shame because I was a “nice” girl and now I could see a neon “MOTEL” light blinking through the curtain. I don’t know when the other two men left or if anything had happened with them. I just knew that we were there with no car and needed a ride. I was too ashamed to call any of my friends so his friend came… Continue reading »
End of Innocence
I had just turned 18. I knew everything or thought I did and my father’s temper was as bad as mine. We got into a fight and he told me to leave and to spite him I did. I went to my best friends house with the intent to stay a few days then talk to my dad. That night my friend’s mother’s boyfriend, decided we should all get loaded and forget about everything. He never completely sat right with me and to this day I still have a little voice that chides me for not listening to it. I don’t think I was just drunk, but I was definitely also drunk. Some how I ended up naked or near to in the living room floor. Everyone had started to disperse, my best friend was throwing up, her mother went to her room and I was alone. I felt hands on me and I was… Continue reading »
No Title Will Stop How I Feel
After watching Brave Miss World, I saw how strong victims have been. They’ve been able to share without feeling embarrassment and shame, which is what this movement has been about. I am not so brave as you all. I was molested as a child and stayed away from any human compassion. When I tried to make progress with even a hug, I was unable to with my family because they are who knew it was happening. I did a good job at blocking it out until I went to a house party at a mutual friend’s neighbor’s house party. By then I had not taken any drugs and just dabbled with alcohol. I was 18, I was ignorant. I was vulnerable. Not vulnerable in the way most would think so, but more so naive. A man, 12 years older than myself at the time liquored and roofied my drinks. When it was happening, all I… Continue reading »
Just a Child
I am twenty-four, and have the unfortune of stating that I was raped twice. The first time i was thirteen years old, just a child, a virgin, with dreams of becoming a writer. I had my first boyfriend. He too was 13. A lot of the girls & boys at my school were having sex, a few of the girls were pregnant. I knew what sex was and knew that i was not ready. But even my protests were ignored that night. He….the boyfriend destroyed me that night. Pushed himself on me, pressing his entire body weight heavy on my tiny frame. I still hear the sounds of my underwear being ripped from my body, the disgusting grunts he made as he invaded my virginal body. After it happened, I never told anyone. Not even my mum, dad, siblings or friends. I knew what he had done. I felt….scared, fear. Above all the shame, disgust… Continue reading »
Erased From Memory
It was many years ago. I was 21. Was new in new country. In Poland they just start marshal law in1981 so I couldn’t go back home. I was looking for any work and place to stay. Some people told me about Polish Club Party. I went there and it showed up to be club of Polish Jews. During the party I met many people. One of them offered me some work to help in some restaurant arranging weddings. I supposed to start in few days. Other guy told me that he has a place to stay for me. I thought that Polish people abroad supposed to help each other. So I trusted him. Told him that I will pay for the room after I earn working in the restaurant. He told me not to worry. Next day in the evening he drove me to my new place away from the town. I had to… Continue reading »
Is It Really Rape?
One week ago at a Halloween party, I blacked out and woke up with a woman from the party. I was with her for eight hours, but remember less than 10 seconds. The last thing I remember is feeling somewhat drunk, but still alert and having fun with a big group of people at my friend’s house. Then everything goes black and the next memory I have is of being in a room alone with this unfamiliar woman, apparently interacting with her sexually. I don’t remember what was happening at the time. I felt sluggish and heavy. I don’t know how I got there, how my clothes were removed, or if I was even conscious the whole time. I have a few one second memories, but none of them include giving my consent to be touched. I don’t know if I simply had too much to drink or if I was drugged. There were a… Continue reading »