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That’s not Me, it’s Her

I read a recent story where a woman described not remembering, or seeing someone else. I know how you feel, my sister! I would rather not give exact details, fearing reprisals, but I was raped in the office of an authority figure. I can say that today, but at the time, nothing happened to Me, never to the Me that is speaking. I saw that poor girl on the couch being raped, and thought that I should do something to help Her, at least call someone to help Her. I left the office, but nothing had happened to Me there. I never had anything happen to Me, none of the times I was there. I felt the need to drink, and drink heavy, and it helped me deal. I know at least this once, 3 other customers went to show me a back room, but nothing happened to Me. I just went home late that… Continue reading »

Finally Sharing

My story is old nearly two decades and yet it as if my rape was yesterday. I have done a lot of healing absolutely but this type of trauma never leaves you – it shapes you. I feel sad about the circumstances around my rape and as others have experienced – it was a crushing blow to trust. I trusted this person and thought we cared about me (in some way). It’s sad that my trust was shattered by some small, tiny minded, insecure man’s need for power and control. My tale is this: while we were not exclusive we certainly were familiar with one another as we worked together, dated a bit, and just were friendly. We had been intimate too and again not exclusive which has it’s own issues, but that doesn’t mean or equal to a set-up for rape. We met at a restaurant and introduced each other to friends. The fete… Continue reading »

He was a friend

He was a god friend and coworker of two years. I was going through a rough patch in life and truly needed a friend. I had 4 deaths in my family in a matter of 3 months and felt very alone. My spouse was trying to cope with the loses as well and we were having a rough time together. He was my friend and knew my spouse well. He planted seeds of doubt in my mind about my marriage and my friends made me feel alone and as if he was my only friend. I was 25 while he was 46. He took advantage of all of my weaknesses and made me feel worthless and alone. We had a few drinks one day while hanging out and he told me he had feelings for me and tried to force himself on me. I told him no and that I was married. He said he… Continue reading »

A Night I Can’t Remember

Two years ago I went to one of my friends houses. It started out well enough. My son and her daughter played while we played Jenga and drank beer at the table. I am a beer drinker, I never drink hard liquor, but on this night I did. I don’t exactly remember when, but sometime during this evening her neighbor came over. She ate a cookie that was baked with weed inside it. This sent her off to bed at like 11:00pm. Now, here I am stuck in her apartment, my child was sleeping and so was she. Common sense would have told me to go to bed myself but I was drinking whiskey and common sense did not kick in. I decided to walk downstairs and visit her neighbor. I had hung out with him before and I trusted him. I had no reason to think that this decision would change my life forever…. Continue reading »

Friend of mines set me up

I was about 18 years old 2 years ago and me and this girl became really close. We didnt talk im school much but after we graduate she wanted to hang out more. One day she tells me she wants me to go to the beach with her and a couple of her guy friends. It wasnt a big deal for me so i said sure . at the time me or her didnt drive but her guy friends did. They wanted to pick me up . i did feel iffy about it but she was my friend and she trusted them. So they came to pick me up from my house the next day. At first they were nice to me they offered to buy alcohol and food for me and my friend. She wasnt in the car she was at home supposly getting ready. She txt me saying i should wait for her… Continue reading »

I let it happen twice

The first time I was raped, it was St. Patrick’s Day. I was 19. A friend invited me to a house party with her boyfriend and his friends. The house was just off a county road that led straight into my hometown. I was one of the last people outside. At the time, I was kind of flirty. My intention was never to lead people on, I made it clear I had a boyfriend (now ex). It eventually got down to just me and one other guy at the fire. We were talking and having a good time for a while, but then I started getting uncomfortable. I said I was going to go to bed soon, because he started acting too sexual. I reminded him of my boyfriend, told him I wasn’t a cheater. He said that it was cool, and that he should probably get to bed as well. He came up behind… Continue reading »

My boyfriend of 2 years

I’ve been dating this guy for 2 years, and a little while ago, he took me to his family’s beach house for summer. The first night we were there, he offered me a candy. Obviously, I took it. I started to feel funny and turns out he drugged me and had sex with me. It was actually good for me. Not that I got raped, but what happened after. I reported him, and it felt amazing to do so. I was able to get him put away, it felt so freeing and I felt so strong. Though it was a terrible thing, I felt so happy.

A young mother

I came to college a year early, I was seventeen and so naive. I had taken summer school 2 years so I could get out of that small town Kentucky high school. I was so ready to have a fresh start. My first semester was awesome. I joined a sorority and made my 3 best friends. But when I came back after christmas things changed. My best friend Lindsey had dropped out because college wasn’t for her, and my other friend Amara had dropped the sorority because she couldn’t pay. So it was just me and Maya. Maya didn’t like to go out so when I got an invite from a guy a new from a previous class, I went alone. I knew a bunch of the people that were going to be at this small party. It was a fun night but as the night started to die down I realized I wasn’t okay… Continue reading »

Bartender Lies

I was 21, a young ballet dancer studying in NYC. My roommate and I went to visit the bar of the restaurant I was a hostess. The bartenders were always revered, put on a pedestal. I thought the attention from him was good, a positive thing. How wrong I was. My roommate was tired, she went home. I thought because I worked there, I would be safe,… wrong again. I was drinking, for a long time I took the blame for what happened upon myself. As the restaurant closed, he said we should go to the pub next door. Once we were there things changed. Today, I search my brain and cannot remember his name, I can’t remember. The bar became like an old-fashioned movie reel, I was in an out of consciousness. Days later I swore he has put something in my drink. Later, I somehow ended up in a hotel near my apartment,… Continue reading »

A person to trust became my worst fear

It was supposed to be one of the most exiting weeks of my life, a step into adult-hood i had dreamed about all of summer. Freshers week. The week everyone is supposed to let go of all inhibitions and have an amazing time with new friends and people who you will be living with for the rest of the year. I was quite sheltered growing up, so i hadn’t really gone out much, I dressed prettily that night, but not considered ‘slutty’ by any standard. I didn’t even drink much, as i feared i would make a fool out of myself if i did, i sure didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of all of these new people. We had fresher reps just like any university (i assume), they take you from A to B safely, making freshers more fun and safe for everyone. Who knew it was them i had to fear the… Continue reading »