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He was my roommate. Someone I barely knew, an acquaintance. I had moved back to campus after living about a year 20 minutes out from school. I was desperate to be around people my own age again and get out of my current living situation. I took on random roommates in the same building as all my friends. I knew ahead of time they’d be guys I didn’t know but I never thought much of it because I had always made friends with guys easier. Before moving in, I became married during my last semester of school. I couldn’t wait to move into my new place and have the best last semester of college ever. Little did I know, it would hands down, be my worst. My roommate was friendly off the back but I assured myself, he was only being nice. He added me on all my social media and messaged me on facebook… Continue reading »

My Side

Only three weeks ago, I had my first kiss. About 3 minutes later, I had my first sexual experience, against my will. It was the Friday before Halloween, and I was spending it with kids from my school, all of whom I felt comfortable around and felt safe with. All of these kids knew me; they knew I was smart, I was funny, I sometimes talked too loud, and I was a person deserving of respect. We did shots, laughing about the college application process and the burdens of taking 4 AP classes. I remember getting more and more drunk, but feeling okay – usually everyone left before midnight (it was already 11) and I had plans to spend the night at the host’s house, who happened to be one of my closest friends. The host had some friends from a neighboring town; a few of them I knew from previous parties and from hanging… Continue reading »

Motel 6 Nightmare

April 8th, 2016 changed me in whatever way I let it for the rest of my life. I was with my friend and a bunch of her friends that I didn’t know in a motel room that night. I’m not the type of person to ever do something like this, but the day before I had found out my parents were getting divorced so I just wanted to escape reality. Throughout the night people were in and out at all times. We were smoking, drinking, and one other girl and I took a pill. My friend knew I wanted to have a good night and forget my life. She was looking out for me all night, but she couldn’t do that when she was sleeping. I was by far the most messed up person there so I fell asleep around 11pm. At 2am I awoke from a knock on the door for a noise complaint… Continue reading »

Exploitation Was My Lifestyle

When I was 14, my parents got a divorce because my mom had an affair. her boyfriend moved in with us and I just wanted to be away from home. always. i had older sisters but they had moved out to college. i was alone. my mother was too busy with her boyfriend to worry about where i was or who i was with. I was a freshman at my christian school dating a senior. everyone had a problem with it but he made me feel like i was important during this time in my life. i ended up hanging out with a lot of seniors, older people, adults at only 14. i ended up getting into drugs and alcohol and it started taking over my life. by day i was a good christian girl at school, and by night i was high and drunk and drowning out my sorrows. when i was 15 i… Continue reading »

Victim No More

As a child i grew up in an abusive household. My mother and father were both heavy substance users and I was exposed to a lot of violence ever since birth. Quite frankly, my rape was inevitable. I was only just 12 at the time, first year of high school. I was ‘off the rails’ as my mother said, smoking, drinking and ditching school. My best friends at the time (who deserved to be named) were to older boys named Ben, 14 and Jamie, 13. I spent all of my time with them and I trusted them wholeheartedly. That was until the 13th of July 2014. I left home without permission and met them, I drank about 5 – 6 shots of vodka, bearing in mind.. I was 12. I was paralytic and undoubtedly very, very drunk. The older boy, whom I’d known for a few years, moved me onto the other. I’ll admit I… Continue reading »

Alcohol Convinced Me It Was My Fault, Until Now

‘ve never spoke out about this to anyone. I have been raped twice. During the summer of 2016, I went on holiday to my parents house in Spain with a few of my girlfriends. It was my first major holiday without my parents but I knew the place very well and it only featured one small bar/club. One night I had been out with the girls, but they wanted to go home before I did, and considering I had known some of our companions for years, I stayed out without them upon the agreement that a male I had met that night would walk me home. My next memory is waking up on the floor, naked from the waist down in an apartment that was not mine. I took a few minutes for me to properly understand my situation, then I immediately got dressed and proceeded to leave the apartment. When leaving I walked past… Continue reading »

Drunken Rape

Just a few months ago, April 1st, 2016, I was sexually assaulted. I am 16 years old, and was 15 when it happened. The man was 52… I haven’t seen my friend for a while and wanted to hangout with her, and we had nothing to do for a few hours, so we went on a walk and said we should call one of her other friends to go hangout too. But when we got there the other friend wasn’t there. But he invited us in to stay. He forced us to drink alcohol and stay for hours. Begging for us to stay over I finally got too drunk and had to lay down for a bit. He brought me up stairs and said to lay down for a while. And when I did I fell asleep right away, I woke up to pressure on my chest and a chill on my legs. I had… Continue reading »

Once, Twice, Three Times A Victim

When I was 12 years old, my 18 year old cousin lived with us for a while. For months he would sneak into my room in the middle of the night or just get me alone for a few minutes to do whatever he felt like. He would force himself in my mouth, kiss me, touch me or make me touch him. He did everything but rape me because it hurt and I would be on the verge of tears. He would forcefully grab me or push my head in whatever direction he wanted to scare me into doing things. Eventually he moved out and it stopped. I told my mom a few years later, and while he admitted that he did “something,” he says it wasn’t that serious, that all he did was kiss me. His sister constantly asks me to get over it, because kissing isn’t a big deal. I try to tell… Continue reading »

Two Friends and Two Boys

I’m the friend that everyone talks about. The one that always needs someone to listen to her problems and never really listens back. The one that expects you to be there the moment I need you, but when you need me I may or may not be there. I never realized I was like that. My dad looked out for his unit (him being in the Army), my mom looked out for my little brother Zeus and I looked out for me. I never really had any good friends, especially girls. My best friend Jackson had been my best and really only friend since we were 8. The three places we had been stationed were all together and when we moved to Fort Hood when we were 15 I expected nothing to change. Except it did. He started hanging out with other guys and I made an actual friend that was a girl. Rosalie Grace… Continue reading »

Senior Year Ended In The First Week

Here is a story… That hits close to home, one that is a scar that will never truly heal It can be hidden but never completely healed This is my story I was a college Sr. in my FIRST week of school I went out with friends, had 1 drink to celebrate Came back and after about 1 hr had 1 beer We were ecstatic to be seniors, ready for the future Greek life was consolidated into 1 hall, my friends and I decided to go downstairs to a frat hall Who would have known that 1 decision would change my life. I remember very little on the hall, seeing other seniors, catching up with acquaintances Then its black. Nothing. No Memories. Just, HAZE Through the haze is where the scar is deep. Faint memories, of being in the dorm lounge, being touched & penetrated. intercourse, but not actually being “there” The face. That face,… Continue reading »