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Do NOT Trust Strangers

I was 19 at the time. Moved to a state across the country for a job. Met a few people there I hung out with daily. Went to one of the bars with them one night. We had met up with some people they knew. We had ordered a drink but by the time the drinks came back my friends said they were leaving and were coming right back. I got my drink and was still with the two men who my friends knew. Drank the one drink then about 20 minutes later started feeling so unbelievably sick. I know myself and I know I didn’t feel this way from one drink. Wasn’t a normal drunk. Felt sick. Started sweating, my head was feeling so heavy and my body was loosing control of itself. I had seen a girl who I have met before in town. So I had asked her to help me I… Continue reading »

A Letter to My Rapist

Yesterday I sent this letter to the guy who raped me 33 years ago. —, I never imagined writing this letter. I am sure it will surprise you to receive it. It is a letter long overdue. Maybe you already know this, but in the past few years, more and more women have been courageously coming forward to share their rape stories. I am inspired by their bravery. But when I read the words of the woman in the Stanford rape case, something inside me broke open. I was completely outraged and upset by what happened to her. But really her words made me feel less lonely. She made me feel like I could and should finally tell my story. And you and I, we have a rape story. Saying the word rape is hard. I imagine you haven’t gone through your life thinking, “I raped someone in high school.” For my part, I have… Continue reading »

My Brother’s Best Friend

Being raped by my brother’s best friend was the most confusing thing to ever happen to me. It’s been six years since that night and it still affects me. I want to tell my story because only through reading other survivor’s stories was I able to finally accept what happened, confront my rapist, and move on. This is my story: I was nineteen and one summer night my siblings and I threw a party when our parents were away. The party was my idea and I had never done anything like that before. I was a “good girl” and very reserved throughout high school. When I started college I had my first taste of alcohol, began to rebel a bit, and tested the limits. So that night we had about seventy people at our house, ten of whom were my friends. My brother’s best friend came and I was so happy to see him. His… Continue reading »

Night Out

I still don’t know if it is rape. My therapist says it was, and so do the police and my parents, but I don’t want to believe it. I met a group of guys and they all seemed so nice, they let me smoke with them and invited me home. I got so stoned I couldn’t speak or move. One of the men slept with me 5 times even though I was too high to do anything. I was mortified that it was happening but I was drifting in and out of consciousness and knew I couldn’t to stop it. I don’t want it to be rape. If it isn’t, than I was just an idiot who got high and had a one night stand. I am waiting for my boyfriend while he serves abroad. I am so mad at myself, and so scared to tell him. If it was rape than he won’t be… Continue reading »

Spring Break Nightmare

I was on Spring Break in Cancun (my first and only time to go somewhere for Spring Break). I was a Junior in College and knew that I should always, and only, accept a drink (non-alcoholic or not) from the employee serving the drinks. I always followed this rule. I met a guy on the first night while I was dancing. At the end of the night, the guy asked where I was staying and what room number so that he could call me and we could meet up again. He was with a friend and I was with 3 of my friends. The next night he and his friend came to the bar I was at with my friends. Two of my friend’s were drunk and went back to the hotel room. One of my friend’s had met another guy and was hanging out with him at the next table over. My friend told… Continue reading »

Roofied

November 27th 2015. I still haven’t been able to call it what it was out loud. Rape. I was a freshman in college, but back home for thanksgiving break, and one of my close friends had a party where lots of people came, and many were drinking. I chose not to drink that night, as I was planning on driving home later and not sleeping over. I woke up in the morning wearing someone else’s sweatshirt, and the clothes I had been wearing that night no where to be found. I stood up to find my keys and go home, and immediately realized I couldn’t walk, and had the urge to throw up. Even when I do choose to drink, I have gotten plenty drunk many times and I have never thrown up, so I was very confused that I had stayed sober and was dry heaving over the toilet. I called my dad to… Continue reading »

Gang Raped

I was raped when I was 15 by 6 men. I went to a party with my “friend and she left to go hang with a guy alone. I was left downstairs with multiple men. They gave me drinks and I began to realize that I was feeling dizzy and lost. They closed the door to the room and would not let me leave. They each took a turn raping me and forcing me to give oral sex or they would hurt me. They took videos and pictures of it. I felt so ashamed and so disgusting. I am now still dealing with anxiety attacks and nightmares 5 years later.

Cafeteria Food

When I was 16 years old I was a nerdy person. I kept to myself and didn’t go out to parties or other. So when I got my first boyfriend I was ecstatic. He was a practical god to me. Things had been going well, until one day when we were both making out at a movie theater. I don’t know what got into him but he started to go for my breasts reaching his hand down my pants. I had to push away from him and he tried to follow up. I wasn’t ready I told him. He simply tried again saying he was and that it was time to prove I loved him. I just stood up and left without a second thought. When I got home I tested him to say that I was sorry. I didn’t mean to leave do abruptly. But I wasn’t ready yet. I was still a virgin…. Continue reading »

Don’t Know

I was 17 and he was 20 we were dating for 4 months he was lovely. He moved to London and I stayed at his for the weekend but it wasn’t the 1st time. Everything was normal. He put my phone on charge for me as we were watching Mean Girls when he started undressing me, he said I looked hot but I knew it was a trick, I wasn’t stupid. I had a cover over me and I was naked and a it scared to move he said that he will get me a drink to relax me. I didn’t have a problem it was not the 1st time I drank underage but he made it so strong, it was vodka and coke but it tasted differently. I know what vodka and coke taste like and that was not it. So I sipped it hardly drinking it. I guessed he noticed because he tried… Continue reading »

Blamed Myself

It was a year ago, I was out with my friend and when I drink vodka I tend to blackout, I don’t drink it anymore. So anyway I think I got kicked out of the club for being too intoxicated and I lost my friend and I remember seeing this guy and thinking I knew him and they asked me if I wanted to come to an after party with them. I thought he lived near me so I agreed. I can’t remember the taxi journey but I woke up on the couch and there were 3 black boys around me and I didn’t have my nickers on and I felt really sore. There was a guy sitting next to me who I remembered and he was touching me under the blanket and I was still pretty dazed so I let him. I accepted the fact I probably had sex with him last night. Anyway… Continue reading »