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Gang Raped

I was raped when I was 15 by 6 men. I went to a party with my “friend and she left to go hang with a guy alone. I was left downstairs with multiple men. They gave me drinks and I began to realize that I was feeling dizzy and lost. They closed the door to the room and would not let me leave. They each took a turn raping me and forcing me to give oral sex or they would hurt me. They took videos and pictures of it. I felt so ashamed and so disgusting. I am now still dealing with anxiety attacks and nightmares 5 years later.

Cafeteria Food

When I was 16 years old I was a nerdy person. I kept to myself and didn’t go out to parties or other. So when I got my first boyfriend I was ecstatic. He was a practical god to me. Things had been going well, until one day when we were both making out at a movie theater. I don’t know what got into him but he started to go for my breasts reaching his hand down my pants. I had to push away from him and he tried to follow up. I wasn’t ready I told him. He simply tried again saying he was and that it was time to prove I loved him. I just stood up and left without a second thought. When I got home I tested him to say that I was sorry. I didn’t mean to leave do abruptly. But I wasn’t ready yet. I was still a virgin…. Continue reading »

Don’t Know

I was 17 and he was 20 we were dating for 4 months he was lovely. He moved to London and I stayed at his for the weekend but it wasn’t the 1st time. Everything was normal. He put my phone on charge for me as we were watching Mean Girls when he started undressing me, he said I looked hot but I knew it was a trick, I wasn’t stupid. I had a cover over me and I was naked and a it scared to move he said that he will get me a drink to relax me. I didn’t have a problem it was not the 1st time I drank underage but he made it so strong, it was vodka and coke but it tasted differently. I know what vodka and coke taste like and that was not it. So I sipped it hardly drinking it. I guessed he noticed because he tried… Continue reading »

Blamed Myself

It was a year ago, I was out with my friend and when I drink vodka I tend to blackout, I don’t drink it anymore. So anyway I think I got kicked out of the club for being too intoxicated and I lost my friend and I remember seeing this guy and thinking I knew him and they asked me if I wanted to come to an after party with them. I thought he lived near me so I agreed. I can’t remember the taxi journey but I woke up on the couch and there were 3 black boys around me and I didn’t have my nickers on and I felt really sore. There was a guy sitting next to me who I remembered and he was touching me under the blanket and I was still pretty dazed so I let him. I accepted the fact I probably had sex with him last night. Anyway… Continue reading »


(I’ve felt) Man in Florida ruined my innocence I’ve felt sorrow I’ve felt vengeance I felt what it was like to lose God Tears run down my face allot no one understood I felt the guilt and the blame I felt what it was like to be ashamed being in my own skin felt different When I said no what else could it have meant I felt the world as a different place My reality hit my heart would race I’ve felt driving in a car and breaking down because the flashbacks are here and now everyday they say grow stronger but I feel my self breaking longer day by day I got better found a man to write me letters I have felt love again but all my trust is gone I struggle to get better but as long as i stay alive I know I can forever.


Last year was really hard for me.. I was into a lot of drugs due to my past and I was living in a group home at the time and this girl I lived with told me her boyfriend was picking us up and we were going to go drink and get drugs so I went and along the way her boyfriend picked up his friend and we went to a hotel. We were drinking and doing lines and eventually I couldn’t even function, I thought I was going to puke.. So I went to the bathroom and my friends boyfriend followed me in and closed the door behind… I was laying on the floor and he turned off the lights and he started taking off my tights and underwear. I knew what was going to happen but I couldn’t say anything other than a faint “I have a boyfriend” and he said he would… Continue reading »

You Didn’t Break Me

I just watched the movie brave miss world and I was impressed by all those girls speaking out about what happened even on record. So I thought I can do it as well. But I’m already crying again. I was raped three years ago on a music festival. I was so very drunk and three guys forced me to drink even more, forcing me to drink, pressing a hand against my mouth so I couldn’t spit it out again. That’s when the feeling of helplessness started. I met them on the parking lot, I was alone because I just had a massive fight with my boyfriend at that time, so I needed some alone time. They seemed nice until that moment. One of the guys left and it was me and two guys, I was afraid of them, but at the same time I was afraid of leaving and trying to find my tent alone… Continue reading »

Black Out

I have just decided to come clean I’ve been hiding it for too long trying to pretend it didn’t happen to me and it can’t go on. I don’t have a lot of people I feel comfortable yet to talk to so here it goes. I was kinda into this guy who worked with me he was nice and friendly and made me feel special. One day I was at his desk and I “forgot” my phone case when I had taken it off. I later found he stole it on purpose. And he told me on our day off I could pick it up. So I went to his place and got my phone case when he offered me a water bottle. I didn’t think much of it but after a few seconds I got dizzy and blacked out. I don’t know if any part of me was conscious but I don’t remember anything… Continue reading »

Smoke Together

I had just entered high school and i felt comfortable with more freedom and extreme stuff. I had some friends and in my country weed is really in-fashion… I found a person that was only 2 years older than me, he was handsome,fun and he started selling me the strongest things he was selling. We started hanging out and we used to smoke together … I had fun running from the police and hiding in abandoned buildings to smoke more,play card games and bully weak children. As the time passed and i had been in high school everything with that dude changed…we got closer and he kinda put me into his gang,made me smoke with other kids and then seduce them to steal them. But the ritual to enter his gang was…terrible..He said i ”had to get tough” and each day he would beat me, letting me return home at 3 or 4 am with… Continue reading »

I Didn’t Even Know Him

A couple of years ago back when I was in my senior year of high school some of my friends convinced me to go to this party. It was the last and first party I will ever go to. I didn’t plan to have any drinks at this party. All I had was water and soda. But after a couple of hours I started to get dizzy and feel sick. So I told my friend I was leafy and left the house. I remember the drive home but don’t recall ever opening the front door to my house. l didn’t know if then but it was going to be a long night. Apparently some guy from the party followed me home. He was able to convince me that I had driven the wrong way home (and I was stupid enough to believe him) so he offered me a ride home. I later passed out and… Continue reading »