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Childhood/teenage sexually abuse

I am a survivor of sexually abuse from age 2 1/2 until I told the summer I came out of eight grade. I remember my abuse but I have blocked a lot of the feelings that go with it. I have done a lot of counseling because of this. I am 56 1/2 now and I have had my voice about talking to those who need to hear what I have to say and not feel ashamed for telling what happened to me. I have found that in telling what happened has been giving me my power back and is very healing. Many say I am crazy for bringing the past up and I should let that go. Why should I. At 2 1/2 I did not ask for these things to happen to me, at any age I did not ask for any of this. I wanted to die for so many years and… Continue reading »

A family assault

When I was 4 years old, I was watching TV at my grandmother’s house with my sister and cousins. My grandma had to leave for groceries so she asked who wanted to join her, I didn’t want to so my male cousin offered to watch me when the rest was out. (He was 15) I distinctly remember my older sister trying to get me to go with them. Once the car was out of sight, my cousin began to touch me everywhere and forced me to perform some sexual acts on him, like blowjobs and handjobs. I was so scared and didn’t understand what was going on. Before he could do worse things to me my grandma pulled up and he quickly said to me : ´if you tell anybody, I will do it again and this time it will be worse!’ I was 4, I had no idea what just happened but I knew… Continue reading »

Raped at 17

My name is Lauren Bimmlet. I am 27 years old, a Navy veteran and a rape survivor. When I was 17, I was raped in the backseat of a car. I had come from a friends graduation party and his friend offered to take me home. I was a little under the influence and he seemed nice so I said yes. I was going in and out of consciousness but I came fully to when I realized he had pulled the car over on the side of the road. Next thing I knew i was put in the back seat and he was raping me. I was a virgin. I remembered seeing a car drive by and I tried to wave it down but I couldnt move my arms. After it was done he told me to get in the front seat and he drove me home. I couldn’t comprehend what had just happened. I… Continue reading »

Nine Years Worth of Abuse

Guilt. Shame. Embarrassment. Relent. These are all things I feel daily, and it comes and goes. I feel as though I can never be happy, because of the monster I feel I am at heart. I grew up with my mom and my stepdad. Both of these people are tremendously amazing. I had my Gaga (my great grandma who meant the world to me) and then I had Nana and Guh. I still remember the day, just before my fifth or sixth birthday. “Guh” as I called him, took me into the bathroom and had me give him oral. I had no idea what this was all about, so in my princess costume, I asked him if we could do it again. He basically drug me into my Gaga’s bathroom (this is where the party was being held) and told me never to say that to someone again because it was bad. I said okay…. Continue reading »

My Story

I was 16 when I had my first kiss, 17 when I met my first boyfriend and lost my virginity. I was a shy girl, the one who blended into the background amongst her more attractive friends. Dennis was tall, blonde and exotic- All of us were drawn to him. I couldn’t believe he would pick me. Maybe he sensed my vulnerability, my shyness and knew I was easy prey. The relationship lasted 2 years. I moved in with him and away from my family. I was isolated and 1500 miles from anyone who cared. I endured 15 months of domestic violence- Broken ribs, broken nose, bruises and blood. The physical pain of physical abuse was tough but the sexual abuse that came was worse…Forced to have sex, NO! that fell on deaf ears, torn, sore tissue, bitten breasts, bruises,muffled cries into pillows, feeling my insides being stretched and violated by foreign objects I didn’t… Continue reading »

Childhood of assault

“Do you want to do it?” My 8 year old stepbrother asked my 8 year old self. “Do what?” I asked. He instructed me to lay down and he took out his penis and started rubbing it on my stomach. I had no idea what was happening. I had just recently been through an awful custody battle that ended with my father getting custody from my unstable bipolar mother who had chased my stepdad out of the house with a butcher knife. Living with my dad, stepmom, and stepbrother who ws only 5 months older than me but a grade above me was a new experience. My dad had spent the year before away all week for work and left me with my stepmom and brother alone. Thats when “the game” started. About a year in, my dad caught it in the act and separated us and demanded n explanation. I told him how it… Continue reading »

my story

In the wake of the #METoo movement, I have had constant reminder of sexual assault stories. I have never spoken out about what happened to me but I saw the Brave Miss World documentary and immediately came here to vent. When I was little I told my mother my cousin had been molesting me and she called me a liar. I repressed the memory and it wasn’t until I began to be sexually harassed by a group of boys at my new school. I would have to walk to and from school. I remember having to physically fight off these group of boys my age (between the ages of 8-11) who would follow me on my way home. They would run up behind me and slap my butt and tell me I had “a nice a**”. I was 10. The worst time I can remember was when the leader of the group had pinned me… Continue reading »

Not just me

When I was in the 8th grade, I was taken advantage of by a boy a year older than me. It took me a year before speaking out, but I finally did. The police didn’t do much, I made a statement but never really heard back from that after that. I never pursued it because I was young and afraid and I didn’t want to have to think about it. Now I can say that I forgive him, I’m strong and resilient. I’m now 21 and pursuing a career in nursing. More recently, my boyfriends sister was in a relationship, this past summer he raped her. This fall, after she had broken up with him, he released her naked photos on the internet. She decided to speak out, she told us about the abuse she endured and has since gone to the police. I pray action is taken. But I’m proud of her, she’s 18… Continue reading »

An older cousin

I was a friendly, feisty little girl. The youngest of four. With two older brothers and an older sister, I learned how to take care of myself and appear tough. I was 5 when I learned my only power against bigger, stronger boys was to hit them in their crotch. Both of my parents were full time working parents. My siblings and I were on our own during the day in the summers. We had a lot of freedom that I wouldn’t give to my children, but it was a different time. I don’t know what year it was. I don’t know the month. I don’t know what day of the week or the time of day. But I do remember what I was doing, where I was and what he said. I was sitting in my brothers’ bedroom on their bed, playing Mario on the Nintendo. He came in and sat next to me…. Continue reading »

I’ve survived sexual abuse

As a kid I was a molested from the time I was 5 until 15. I married to leave my house. Got pregnant and divorced soon after. Then I found myself in a very controlling relationship. Found myself pregnant again which are lost that child due to a DUI driver almost lost my life but God seem to be there for me because he saved my life. I was severely emotionally unstable. I thought to help with my pain that carrying life inside me what to help ease it somehow. That made things worse I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with someone very close to me after he choked me till I passed out and took me and dumped me in my parents driveway and left me now I was pregnant with one child and single and dealing with the life of a death of a child still not have dealt with… Continue reading »