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Never Thought It Would Happen to Me

Dear Survivor, I know the bad days outnumber the good ones. Maybe you haven’t even had a good day since it happened. Maybe you feel like your temptations are the only logical way to escape. Maybe you’re ignoring it. I thought ending my life was the only way to escape. And more than once I acted on these feelings. I’m here to assure you that it isn’t. I’m here to remind you that you are not alone. I’m here to tell you my story. I sat in a chair alone, regretting every decision I had made up to this point. It was too dark to see where the room ended. I glanced up at the clock, it was after midnight. Thirty minutes passed. I dropped my underwear onto the blue-tiled floor behind the thin curtain. This was the only article of clothing left on my shaking body as I held back tears. I was being… Continue reading »

Family Party

We went to a family party. After eating and watching his siblings play, he wanted to go inside and relax. We were laying in bed and he started to touch me. It hurt and it made me feel uncomfortable and scared. I told him to stop, and he smirked at me saying, “I know you want it”. He continued even after I repeatedly told him to stop. I had to push him off me in order for him to stop.

Friends are sharing

Sharing is big today, so I am. I was on a date, and he parked, and tried to have sex. I got mad, and said I’d walk home if he didn’t stop, and he keeps trying, so I walked off. On the way home, 2 guys grabbed me and raped me behind the bushes. They took my virginity, and I got pregnant and dealt with it. — Survivor, age 19

Just Violated

I need to post here. I read your posts with a friend who needed to heal, and now I need to heal. A stranger grabbed me in my garage, took my purse for money, and violated me. I am hurt, physically hurt, mentally hurt. I was opinioned that she was off guard when her attack occurred, while I was alert at all times. I find I was unable to defend myself. I have a boyfriend, who had our first discussion of having a next level relationship. I don’t know how he will react. It might be minor in consideration, but I am extremely tired, but if I lay down, I won’t sleep. I flashback if I lay down. How soon is too soon? What if. what if, what if. The same what if others ask. I’m sorry, I am not brave. I am scared. – Diane, age 31

Was it rape?

My boyfriend and I are both 17. One night i threw a party at my house. There was obviously drinking and lots of people. My boyfriend never drinks so he’s never gotten drunk before. We were both drunk and fooling around in my room alone. I was fine doing whatever as long as my underwear stayed on. When we’re sober he’s really nice and constantly asks me if I’m comfortable and stuff but this time he was pressuring me to take them off. Giving in the the pressure I took them off. As a joke my friend brought a condom so he started looking for it in my room then put it on. Since i was very drunk i don’t remember 100% what i said but I’m pretty sure i said that i didn’t want to have sex and said no lots. He kept on saying something like come on you’ll never know if you… Continue reading »

Raped Multiple Times

I am an Indonesian, and I was in my third year of college when I was raped, by a good friend who had been a my friend for around 3 years. We hung out a lot back then, mainly because both of us needed some companies while doing our final thesis. Once I was in his place, it was over midnight and the rain was pouring. I could barely see the road. Not being able to go home, he offered me to stay the night. I hesitated but had no other choices. I didn’t feel quite sure why I decided to stay, but I ended up staying. He kindly lent me his tshirt and boxers for me to sleep in. We were just chatting while watching some cables. Then he started to approach me closer. Seeing his intention, I tried to politely declined. Yet he insisted and started to corner me. He grabbed my upper… Continue reading »

Beyond a story

Dear Linor, I attended your movie showing in Monaco this past weekend. The irony was I attended thinking I was going to see a Princess Grace movie. Something light, beautiful, and with a story. I attended to honour Princesse Grace who is in the hearts of everyone she has touched. Instead, I watched a story unfold that was far from light. It was intense, real and inextricably beautifully revealing moment by moment. The story goes beyond a story. It may be a movie, but each chapter shares the heart, soul, pain and fear counter pointed with family, support, love, friendship and kindness. I didn’t say hello in person. I said hello in silence. In awe of your strength and admiring your lovely sense of humour. I was waiting for the advice and you shared it. Face it and you can leave it.

Liar, Liar

8 year old is not the time to have this. I was sent to the store, and on the way home, a guy jumped me, lifted my skirt and raped me. I didn’t have words for it then. He stole the change, and I had words for that too. My mom had words too, she called me a liar. I didn’t think much of it when I started hanging over friend’s houses after school. One had access to some porn, and I said this one happened to me. They called me a liar. By junior high, I turned total goth, where depression fit well. I told my story in poems. No one believed I had it in my background. Actually, no no one. I had this boy who followed me outside when I went for a good cry. He said he believed I had a rape secret. He started to kiss me, I didn’t know… Continue reading »

Believe Her

About a month ago, my live in girlfriend didn’t come home. As it got later, I called and texted her about every 15 minutes. I called everyone I knew to find her. By half way through the night, my friends were trying to be honest: If she didn’t come home, she was somewhere, with someone. I felt like a pile of dung that the beetles wouldn’t touch. I thought things were going so well. Why would she look for someone else, especially when I was home? About 10 minutes until dawn, I got a call from her. She needed a ride. I asked who she was with until dawn. She didn’t want to say it. Why didn’t she answer, because she didn’t get them. I almost told her to do to herself what I knew she was doing to someone else all night. She was in the hospital, please come get her. I rushed over… Continue reading »

“He can’t sexually assault you he’s Christian”

#metoo Christian women are sexually assaulted too. By Christian guys. But we’re not allowed to talk about it. In a culture where men are encouraged to watch porn, pursue women and expect that women want all they attention that they can get (and tell them to lighten up when they say otherwise), Christian men are “outsiders”. Not allowed to engage in this culture but are immersed in it. Christian women are not prepared to deal with the situations that they are so devastatingly put inside. Let me share my story. I am a Christian woman, and I started dating this guy when I was at College. On paper he was great. He was a Christian, we believed the same things, had the same vision for life and were easy friends. In a “why not give it a go?” kinda way we started dating. The abuse started so subtly that I didn’t notice it until I… Continue reading »