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Dear Convicted Sex Offender (Finally)

While I’m sorry that you added more victims to your list, I’m glad that finally at least one of them had the courage to speak the truth and land you on the Sex Offender Registry. I’m glad that the laws have changed in 41 years and your actions have a bigger penalty now. I’m glad that victims are taken more seriously now……. I’m very glad that schools must now report suspicions of sexual abuse rather than chalking it up as a vivid imagination. You were my (step) dad and I was only 6 years old. Your punishment for me peeing the bed was way beyond what any rational parent would do. I had an accident and instead you exposed me to tons of pain and trauma. Looking back now, my behavior a couple years later should have been signs that would suggest I was sexually assaulted in my past. No normal 9 year old would… Continue reading »

The secret

I was 15 years old dating a 20 year old named Scott. One day Scott asked me to hang out at his house and picked me up on his motorcycle. I went there and his friend Vernon was there. Within a few min of arrival, the two of them threw me on the couch and wanted to rape me. They held me down ripping at my clothes laughing at me and I was petrified beyond. I said I had to go to bathroom bad they let me go and I locked myself in the bathroom and climbed through bathroom window and went on the roof and was so horribly scared. After yelling at me to come out of bath, they eventually quieted down and said they would not attack me. I exited bathroom and was shoved by boyfriend Scott then he brought me Back to the neighborhood store where he had picked me up. I… Continue reading »

Just little girls

I was a toddler; my sister 3 years older. While my parents were drinking with the wife, the husband “Ray” messed with us in the back room, and out in a garage. He got in there. For me, since I was only 3, I did not understand what was happening. My sister did. For that, she has been date raped in her life and took orders from men. I, on the other hand, have become an Amazon. An added note: I worked for the Dept. of Veterans Affairs. Almost every woman I met was sexually assaulted in the military. Some brutally. And what happened? They were ostracized and thrown both literally and figuratively into a garbage dump. — Nancy, age 69

Too scared to tell

I was probably 8 or 9 years old and used to love to go and spend the day at my dad business. He had a car shop it was very spacious and it was very easy to ride my bike there. I only have a 2 slight memories and I’m not sure if I’m blocking the rest of the memories. One time my dad ask me to get something from the warehouse when I was there one of his employees started a conversation with me next thing I remember is him grabbing me and started touching me after that all I remember is feeling really afraid and scared and him telling me to be quiet. The other memory I have is with my parents and him going to the constitution site of our house. I run out of the car and started going thru through house next thing I know he was holding me again… Continue reading »

Sexual assualt causes you not to be YOU

I meet this guy in 5th grade in summer school, I thought he was cool, awesome and amazing until the very last day he smackes my butt and I had to tell the teacher but the teacher wasn’t available, the assistant however I told her and the assistant went to tell the teacher. I got out of class with him and teacher said “he didn’t mean to and he’s going to apologise” and he did. Few years later, comes my sophomore year and I realized that he goes to my school. One day during dismissal, he calls me “fat ass” and I’m like confused, angry, and very dissatisfied. That affected until now, this year throwed me off by the fear that I overcame. Sometimes I did feel like cutting my hands but thank God I didn’t. On Monday, this same guy attempted me to hug me and so I tired talking to several people about… Continue reading »

The healing process

I dont know how to start.. But.. Here it goes.. This might sound like a book but ill keep it very short to get to the point..i was probably about 8 yrs old when i remember being inappropriately touched by someone who i thought could be trusted..it continued for a while but i didnt mention it because i just didnt know what the hell was going on and that it was wrong. As i grew older it kept happening.. I told my parents and i got in huge trouble because they said “i lied” i got hit for it.. The older i got it kept happening with others and i just didnt get it..when i turned 14yrs old i met a boy.. Well i thought it was a boy he was actually a grown 25yr old man, Who i fell stupidly in love with ,without even knowing what love is. I really lost myself and… Continue reading »

Being weak or stupid

It’s almost 2 years since I last sent my story here about me being ADHD and dyslexic, my horrific mom and my grandpa and his friends who did those things but this is not about them. This is another experience. Another hi to abuse So as stated above I have a horrific mom. My dad is drug dependent so I had to look or find another family member to take care of me. Just to refresh my grandpa abused me from 6 years old and then when I was turning 8 he also encouraged his friends to do the same in which they did without being conscientious. After that I left the house and found my half brother. At first, he guaranteed he would never do the same. He fed my empty stomach and made me bathe for I was too dirty and did not took a bath for days just to find him. I… Continue reading »

We met at the bar

He bought me a drink and we played shuffle board. All the while laughing and flirting. He was very charming. We took an Uber back to his place. We go inside and start making out. The drinks are all hitting me and feeling good. As we start to have sex I start to feel funny and the world slips away. Ow that hurts I say but he doesn’t care and continues biting my leg like it was meat. My body freezes up as if I can’t move, he doesn’t stop after I ask him to and I stare blankly at his red fraternity flag hanging on the wall, as he continues to fuck me harder and rougher a silent tear runs down my cheek. Finally he falls asleep and I am too scared to move. I wait for what seems like hours to make sure he is really asleep before I go to leave. As… Continue reading »

Still Terrified

I was scared to write this. But, since I cannot settle my mind, I thought I would just go ahead and write so that I can clear my head and hopefully ease this pressure off my chest. You should know, if I may say, this is not easy, actually it is really very hard. I find myself still waiting for that place I was told comes with time – where you could discuss the bad things and your feelings not be so wrapped up in them to the point that you cannot function or breathe right, or it no longer holds you bound. A time when a thing can just be a thing – I guess that is the sentiment anyway. Nevertheless, here it goes… I was born in Baltimore MD. I was raped by my father starting at 18 months, which is when my mother left, according to her anyway! She said she left… Continue reading »

And It Continues

I’m 22 years old. The first time i was molested I was six years old. Over the years I was molested several more times by different people. Almost as if people could see an invisible target on my back that meant I was easy prey. Each time I vowed that that was the last time. Each time I thought I got smarter, that I got braver, that I got stronger. In December I was assaulted again, and after all the practice I’ve had in this area, I never saw it coming. This guy had been my friend earnestly for 4 years. But we’ve known each other since we were born. Our fathers grew up together and they’re like brothers. So we always were treated as if he and I were cousins. Since we were “like” cousins I felt it was ok to relax with him though because I figured nothing would happen. So I would… Continue reading »