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Childhood of assault

“Do you want to do it?” My 8 year old stepbrother asked my 8 year old self. “Do what?” I asked. He instructed me to lay down and he took out his penis and started rubbing it on my stomach. I had no idea what was happening. I had just recently been through an awful custody battle that ended with my father getting custody from my unstable bipolar mother who had chased my stepdad out of the house with a butcher knife. Living with my dad, stepmom, and stepbrother who ws only 5 months older than me but a grade above me was a new experience. My dad had spent the year before away all week for work and left me with my stepmom and brother alone. Thats when “the game” started. About a year in, my dad caught it in the act and separated us and demanded n explanation. I told him how it… Continue reading »

my story

In the wake of the #METoo movement, I have had constant reminder of sexual assault stories. I have never spoken out about what happened to me but I saw the Brave Miss World documentary and immediately came here to vent. When I was little I told my mother my cousin had been molesting me and she called me a liar. I repressed the memory and it wasn’t until I began to be sexually harassed by a group of boys at my new school. I would have to walk to and from school. I remember having to physically fight off these group of boys my age (between the ages of 8-11) who would follow me on my way home. They would run up behind me and slap my butt and tell me I had “a nice a**”. I was 10. The worst time I can remember was when the leader of the group had pinned me… Continue reading »

Not just me

When I was in the 8th grade, I was taken advantage of by a boy a year older than me. It took me a year before speaking out, but I finally did. The police didn’t do much, I made a statement but never really heard back from that after that. I never pursued it because I was young and afraid and I didn’t want to have to think about it. Now I can say that I forgive him, I’m strong and resilient. I’m now 21 and pursuing a career in nursing. More recently, my boyfriends sister was in a relationship, this past summer he raped her. This fall, after she had broken up with him, he released her naked photos on the internet. She decided to speak out, she told us about the abuse she endured and has since gone to the police. I pray action is taken. But I’m proud of her, she’s 18… Continue reading »

An older cousin

I was a friendly, feisty little girl. The youngest of four. With two older brothers and an older sister, I learned how to take care of myself and appear tough. I was 5 when I learned my only power against bigger, stronger boys was to hit them in their crotch. Both of my parents were full time working parents. My siblings and I were on our own during the day in the summers. We had a lot of freedom that I wouldn’t give to my children, but it was a different time. I don’t know what year it was. I don’t know the month. I don’t know what day of the week or the time of day. But I do remember what I was doing, where I was and what he said. I was sitting in my brothers’ bedroom on their bed, playing Mario on the Nintendo. He came in and sat next to me…. Continue reading »

I’ve survived sexual abuse

As a kid I was a molested from the time I was 5 until 15. I married to leave my house. Got pregnant and divorced soon after. Then I found myself in a very controlling relationship. Found myself pregnant again which are lost that child due to a DUI driver almost lost my life but God seem to be there for me because he saved my life. I was severely emotionally unstable. I thought to help with my pain that carrying life inside me what to help ease it somehow. That made things worse I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me with someone very close to me after he choked me till I passed out and took me and dumped me in my parents driveway and left me now I was pregnant with one child and single and dealing with the life of a death of a child still not have dealt with… Continue reading »

My rape story

When I was 10 years old my father raped me in a bathtub and told me it was my fault. Then the next day he sent my brother to my uncles and I was alone with him and his girl friend next thing I know I tied down while he rapes me his girl friend laughs this continually happened until I was 14 my father and his girl friend kept this up and then my father had my cousin join and I hate myself every day because mom tells me sometimes that it is my fault. , and when I finally told my mom and she didn’t want to look at me but she called the cops and they arrested both my father and his girlfriend. And I had always felt that it was my fault so I tried to kill my self. I have bad dreams to this day and I am about to… Continue reading »

I was 4 yrs old

And the rape affects me every day. Now I am 55 yrs old. My heart breaks for people who have lost their lives or their loved ones to violent or other types of crimes. I know their struggle is probably worse than mine. But I am in pain. I have always been ashamed, remorseful (though I think it was not my fault as I was a tiny child), and I am damaged. 51 years ago some boy or man decided he could use my body for his pleasure or obsession or whatever. And I will never get over it. My family doesn’t understand, my friends don’t understand and I probably won’t figure this out in my lifetime. Talk to your kids. Keep them safe. If they are 4 years old don’t let them wander around the neighborhood. Even if it’s a “nice” neighborhood.

sexual assault

I remember i had not long broken up from my first love Oliver and not long after i was used for a one night stand i met Aaron, at first things were going well, or so i thought, there was a couple of times that he had tried to force his private parts into my mouth but i remember i kept saying no because i don’t like doing oral. But i remember on the 3rd of July 2 years ago i had, had a few drinks in my dads house and i remember i felt quite drunk and i remember i was in my bed on my phone but trying to sleep and i remember him coming into my room and he stripped down to his boxers and climbed on top of me and pulled his boxers down a bit so his privates were showing and i remember he kept trying to put them into… Continue reading »

The One I Called Papa

I was born from a marriageless relationship. My mother decided to stop any connection with my biological father due to cultural & religion differences which will make things difficult for both of them & realised she is having me, later. As she was growing up, my mother was given away from one relative to another, raised by her aunt who couldn’t give her proper love, she grew up strong & independant, protecting & supporting her family during extreme poverty. She decided to keep me as she believe a child belongs to grow & receive love from a mother which she didn’t get to experience. After having me, she continued working & I was taken care by my grandmother (my mothers aunt who took care of her). When I was between age 1-6 y/o, she met my step-father. I became instantly attached to him & called him papa. My mother wanted me to feel how is… Continue reading »

I’m tired of hiding what you did

The basics: I had fallen asleep on the basement rec room sofa watching movies. I woke up to a man in a ninja outfit on top of me with a knife to my throat, removing my panties. He was inside me before my head had cleared. Apparently, this was not enough, and he needed to remove his gloves to feel my chest properly. I recognized the scar on the back of his wrist. I kept the observation to myself as he did the deed. The only thing I hoped was he wouldn’t come in me. More disappointment, and he had to do that to me also. He told me to keep that our little secret. It was weeks of worry, about getting STDs, or pregnant, that I kept that anything happened to myself, not protecting you, who did nothing to protect me, your sister. I know it was Luke, and I can’t say it, but… Continue reading »