was raped 29 years ago. I was Party Raped, Gang Raped, whatever you want to call it. 1989 I was 14, and raped by my ex boyfriend and 2 of his friends (who I had never spoke to). I will save all the details. I was Drunk, beyond drunk, and already passed out on a mattress on the floor, I believe now my ex done this for revenge, I really don’t know. I didn’t report it because I was not supposed to be where I was, and definitely not suppose to be drunk. Also how embarrassing would it be for a 14 year old girl living in the Bible Belt of the South to have to let everybody know what happened, the details are awful enough, I was too drunk to fight, I couldn’t even sit up. And the MESSED up part is I still had feelings for my ex. Long story short,he was my… Continue reading »
It is not my fault
The first incident I can really vividly remember was my freshman year of high school. I went to a school that required us to wear uniforms and I had to take the metro to school every day. I was sitting down by myself and a guy got on the train and, despite almost all other seats being empty, he sat down next to me. The first few minutes were fine but I started to feel something on my thigh. I looked down and saw his hand there, moving up my skirt. Shocked, I pushed it off of my leg and turned away as much as I could. He did it again, but I was too scared to yell or scream for help. I pushed him off the seat and got off the train at the next stop. I didn’t tell anyone for a long time, I was too embarrassed. My sophomore year of high school… Continue reading »
It never goes away
July 12 2008. That wasn’t the day I was raped. It was the day I was to be married to my rapist. He developed a drinking problem. He was always verbally abusive, though I didn’t recognize it at first. When he became physically abusive in November 2007, I began my escape. I let him pull me back in though…I always thought if he got help we’d be together and for a moment I thought he had. Social media was advanced enough at that time for me to find out he was falling into old patterns. I ended the rekindling. A few months later he was moving to Louisiana. He needed someone to watch the house he bought and the dog we had. I had been living with my parents and was getting sick of being 22 with a ‘curfew’. He asked me to move back and watch the house and dog. He wasn’t supposed to… Continue reading »
When i was stripped of my innocence
when i was younger, about 6/7, an older man (about 17) approached me at a park late at night and told me my pants were undone and that he would help me do them up, he brought me to a park bench and proceeded to stick his hand down my pants and feel my private area. I was so young and didn’t understand what was happening but i knew i didnt like it. I grabbed his hand from out of my pants and started crying and running home. To this day my parents don’t know it happened, i told them i was crying because it was dark out (because it was about 8pm) and it haunts me everyday. The memory is so vivid and i cant get it out of my head. I hope this man was caught and i hope he never did this to any other little girls.
5 years now
I have noticed that 5 years now i have become really afraid of men , people and everyone in general .I had tried to make myself think that that’s happening because somewhere someone made fun of me .Thats a lie . When i was younger , everyone who tried to make fun of me was being humiliated by me i was a fierce and outspoken girl In my senior year some guys flirted with me 3-4 times by telling me that i was pretty telling me that they want yo sleep with me and that a friend of them likes me Again i was afraid and i thought that was because they were mocking me or because i was not used to flirting .The cause was different. I was started to remembering that i had been molested at 14 and my fear of men exists since then and all these years i was fooling myself…. Continue reading »
His life ended tragically, but my pain lives on.
I was 4 and living in a cramped 3 bedroom apartment with 7 relatives, namely my aunt, uncles and grandmother. My parents worked hard at their factory jobs to pay off their own home and to earn a decent wage to support our family. They will visit me in the evenings and then return home. Being the only child at the time, I will play pretend in my grandmothers’ clothes and liked to pretend that I was a schoolteacher. I don’t suppose that I had much attention because everyone was busy with their own lives. In my country and society, caning and hitting children was de rigueur and I had already experienced that at age 4 by the adults in that household. One day while my grandmother was doing the dishes, I repeatedly asked her to help me with something but she kept saying no. Out of nowhere, my uncle came towards me and kicked… Continue reading »
First Encounter
My first encounter with molestation was when I was 5. I am a shy and quiet person by nature so I dealt with the game that she called “doctor” for years. It always made me uncomfortable but I kept quiet about it. When i was 12, I was molested in my own bed by a family member that I had extreme trust for. When it happened, I assured myself that it was okay and he was touching me in that place by accident. This makes NO sense because he is an adult & moved his hand away when my mom opened the door. I was 16 when I consented to have sex with someone that I was just getting to know. When I started to get uncomfortable, he told me he was almost done and wouldn’t let me move until he came. I sat there and took it, then he left me crying in a… Continue reading »
Sexually Assaulted as a Child
Im a 39 year old woman from India. I was sexually abused at 8 years old by my 15 year old cousin for a period of 6 months. My cousin lived with his mother in the same apartment building as my family. We used to visit each other’s homes quite frequently since his mother is my dad’s sister. My parents worked full time and I was in the care of a stay at home nanny. All was well in my childhood till I reached the third grade. Those were days when telephone has recently been introduced across homes in India. My family got a phone as well and as a curious child, I was excited to receive phone calls from friends and relatives. And so it happened one day. I heard the phone ring and it was my cousin on the other side. He asked me to go upstairs to his apartment to “play”. An… Continue reading »
Letter to Senators
October 4, 2018 Dear Senator Susan Collins, Senator Jeff Flake – Member, Judiciary Committee, Senator Joe Manchin and Senator Lisa Murkowski: I said NO. Then I screamed NO. Then I BEGGED. What should have been the happiest moments in my life, college graduation and a dream wedding to my beloved husband turned into nightmare in just one evening. I was raped. I will never forget the smells and sounds in the ER that evening. The flurry of doctors, nurses, policemen and detectives coming in and out of my hospital room, as I lay broken on the exam room table. The physical exam, rape kit, collecting DNA left me shaking and choking back tears. They administered medications to prevent pregnancy and sexual transmitted diseases. My clothes were collected and kept as evidence by the NYPD. I felt as if I couldn’t breathe or move. I was simply BROKEN. The kindness and care these individuals in the… Continue reading »
Case Closed
My situation could have been far worse than it was and because it wasn’t, it is sometimes viewed as not being “that bad.” However, for me, what made it “that bad” was that, one, I wasn’t believed and two, the case was closed before it was even open because of his occupation. I was sexually assaulted when I was 11, several months shy of my 12th birthday. I was well-developed for my age and although I looked older, I was still a child. A friend, who was a year younger, and I were walking across our elementary school parking lot one afternoon as we took a walk around the block; we were literally just around the corner from our homes in a safe and wonderful neighborhood. The lot faced a fairly busy street and had 2 ways to get in and out. A turquoise car pulled into the lot and pulled up close to us…. Continue reading »