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The Friend

2 years ago my boyfriend (now fiancé) and a mutual friend he worked with went to a concert. All of us had been drinking. On the way home I noticed my boyfriend texting someone. Of almost 9 months of dating I was furious to know he was texting with his ex. Drunk and mad I messaged the ex on Facebook asking her to leave him alone as he was now my boyfriend. She decided to tell me he was the one intitiating any contact and she had nothing to do with him as he was not good to her in the past. He never had given me a reason to be afraid or even really yelled at me so I inquired to know more about what she meant. She had told me to be careful as in the past he had pushed her a few times and was verbally and physically abusive. Concerned, indirectly confronted… Continue reading »

On the Way Home

I was at a friend’s party last night, not real wild, not a lot to drink, no boys worth picking up, but fun to hang. I went to go home, and I was not real drunk, but they wouldn’t give me my keys back. I went to walk home, which was a little far, but I only had $20 for a cab, and Uber wasn’t responding. I walked for a while, and then went to hitch, with little on the road. A car pulled up and asked if I called for an Uber, and I figured “Hey, it’s on someone else’s account”, so I said it was mine. He apologized for being late, and said it would be discounted, and I said “Great”, thinking for whoever!. We road off towards my address. I wasn’t paying attention, and he had pulled off in the dark, and ended behind some warehouses or loading docks. He pulled a… Continue reading »

Nobody Knows

As a little girl I used to stay at my grandparents house every weekend where one of my older cousins also stayed. We played all the time and got along great. From the age of around 8/9 I remember playing with this same cousin at my dads house (I think we used to play teachers) but something started to feel different… he used to tell me to sit on the bed and play and eventually told me to lay down next to him. Me being around the age of 8 thought nothing of this and done as he said. He stared to lower his hand towards my underwear to which I remember the first time getting up and asking him to finish playing teachers with me (I think part of me knew it was wrong and didn’t want it to continue). This went on for a few weeks until one weekend he put his hands… Continue reading »

Twice

At school I was never taught about consent. I never actually realised to the extent of how little respect that society has for women and their bodies till the day my recent ex boyfriend told me that I was my fault that I was raped, because I didn’t stop it. I shouldn’t have to use brute force to stop a boy from penetrating me when I already told him no. A 17 year old girl who was never taught about consent didn’t realise at the time that rape isn’t the glamorised being pinned down in a dark alley way by a strange scary pervert at night. It is in fact that drunk boy at a party who was pushy. Part of me did think at that time that it was my fault I wasn’t aggressive enough towards him to stop. That is wrong in so many ways. I own my own body so I should… Continue reading »

Had Her Back

A friend and I went to a party, and we went as a pair to watch out for each other. My friend drank too much and was passed out on the living room couch, I was okay. She was still out as most of the guests left, or paired off somewhere. I watched over her, except when I had to use the bathroom. I was only gone a minute, but I came back to her naked on the couch being raped by a guy I didn’t know, with another waiting! I yelled for them to Cut It Out! The free guy came at me an punched me repeatedly in the gut until I fell to the floor. He ripped my clothes, and pulled me to my knees so he could rape me too but from behind so I could watch the others. They laughed alot, especially as they each finished, and when they left. I… Continue reading »

It wasn’t my fault

It was my friends staggett and we crashed at her house after a fun night of celebrating her upcoming marriage. I fell asleep on her couch only to be awoken around 5:30am by her fiancé trying to unbutton my pants. I froze at that moment trying to figure out a way to get out of the situation without causing to much of a stir. I finally found the nerve to ask him what time it was and while acting like nothing weird was happening to push past him and bolt from the house leaving everything including my shoes behind. I have never told anyone and we still hang out with that couple from time to time. I understand that it’s complicated to understand if it’s never happened to you but it’s wired how you act out of character just to avoid the situation. It makes me very sad that we take on the shame. —… Continue reading »

Stayed Silence

We were close friends. I never thought this could happen to me, but I was wrong. We were hanging out one day. We decide to go to his house, he stayed he need help with homework and I agree and I went. Everything was calm and normal. Out of nowhere he started to touch me. I told him to stop. I notice he wasn’t acting the same. There was something off about him. I ask him if he was okay and he said yeah. He grabbed my arm hard and I was freaking out. He started to kiss me and I told him to stop but he didn’t. I remember everything he did. He forces me to have sex with him and if I didn’t he would tell our friend and his friend he slept with me and make rumor up and I didn’t want people to know what happen. Everything he ask, he would… Continue reading »

I didn’t enderstand what was happening

When I was 5 I was sexually abused by a son of a friend of the family. He was around 15. I barely remember the details of what happened and of what I remember no evidence to convict the young man with. It was around 6 and the sun had begun to go down and I was staying at the family friends’ house for the day and his parents decided to go inside as it was getting late and he and I stayed playing in the front yard. I remember he tackled me and told me to be quiet and that he would beat me up if I told anyone. I didn’t tell anyone until I was 10 and realized how wrong what happened was. — Survivor, age 17

Happy Birthday

I just turned 21 and i had my cousins car and my best friend was my D.D. we had lunch and i had my first legal drink and i also got a free drink from starbucks what a great start right. Im in college away from home so i kinda depended on her to find fun stuff to do. Iv’e probably been drinking since 2pm but thats still no excuse. So fast forward half a bottle of crown, tequila, and two shots of vodka later i found myself in a motel room with a blunt to lips as i normally par-toke in. Next thing i remember is a phone ringing and hands on my breast. I could barely move talk or keep my eyes open. a part of me wanted to just close my eyes because i thought i was just having a real crazy dream until i tried to lift myself up and felt… Continue reading »

A letter to him

Dear my first boyfriend, I know you probably still don’t, and never will, understand just what you did to me. How you destroyed me. I bet you still don’t really understand what happened, why you were wrong, let me explain. I came to your house upset and vulnerable after a row with my parents. We were cuddled on the sofa watching Romeo and Juliet, something I haven’t been able to watch since. When all of a sudden your hand was in my underwear. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, the first time I didn’t say no, I let you persuade me. It kept me up for hours, how I should have been more clear, how I wasn’t going to let that happen again. So this time, I said no, firmly and simply, you kept going, I said no again and started trying to pull your hand away from my dry as bones pussy,… Continue reading »