This is written to you and your friend who calls me a liar. You assaulted a girl so vulnerable, and if I could only say your name I would. You took something from me that doesn’t seem so big to you or anyone else at that party. You not only took my virginity, you took the love I had for myself away. You stole my peace of mind away, and that’s something I won’t ever get back. No one realizes this, but being a teen comes with the hardest moments of your life, and for you to bring a sudden fear of leaving my house, is disgusting. I walk through this world wondering why this would happen to me. I wonder why I drank so much, I wonder why I trusted everyone at that party. You knew nothing about me except for the fact that I was vulnerable, so I’m going to tell you about… Continue reading »
My experience of societal views on victims of rape
Today I was told a story that made me feel uncomfortable and angry. In the context of the conversation, a woman shared a story about her daughter who had become paralytic at a party and subsequently raped. She talked about the trauma it caused her daughter and the long term emotional distress she had witnessed and knew her daughter had suffered. However, the women went on to say there was no way in hell she would have let her daughter report it and go to court. She said ‘absolutely no way, I just wouldn’t put her through that’. The women then went on to discuss how because the daughter had been ‘paralytic’ when the assault had taken place, meaning that the judge would not favour this, and may feel that the girl had put herself in a vulnerable position. She concluded that the learning from this was that the daughter should not become so intoxicated… Continue reading »
Raped by jail guard
I was arrested for intoxication in public and apparently led to assault on an officer. I think I may have been drugged at the bar. I have fragmented memories of being raped at the jail by a male deputy and and female deputy restraining my hands. I passed out once I realized what was about to happen. I remember her telling me to open my legs and relax that they weren’t going to hurt me. She kept saying just let him do it when he forced my legd open and stuck his finger inside me. I can’t remember anything after that except I couldn’t breathe. I filed a report and an investigation was done by the VSP but because no camera in my cell… basically my word against theirs. I’m so broken and don’t understand why I can’t remember anything after him putting his finger in me. It’s killing me not knowing what happened to… Continue reading »
Why me?
I was 13 when I met my first boyfriend, he was 2 nearly 3 years older than me so at the time he was 15 soon to be turning 16. After about a month of being together he started to try and pressure me into doing sexual things with him. I remember him messaging me the night before asking me if I was ready and I would say that I was because I wanted to be ready, not for me but for him. But when it came to the day I couldn’t go through with it, I was only 13 after all. When I told him I couldn’t do it he got so angry and left me crying in our favorite spot in our local park/forest. After this day I was determined to not get scared and so the next few weeks we were building up to the “grand finale” but it wasn’t how I… Continue reading »
Scared
I was a happy bubbly 5 year old when my uncle got me to play dress up with him, he made me wear underwear that had a hole in them. He then preceded to show himself to me and then made me sit on him which push him inside me. My whole body went numb. Not long after he started he finished. He then went to the toilet to urinate calling me to the toilet he proceeded to force me to put him in my mouth. A few days passed and he tried to sit next to me and a freaked out and ran out of the room. I ended up telling my other uncle about what his brother did to me and he told my mum and dad. Due to him being to young he never had to face up to what he did. At the age of 11 my dad wanted to show… Continue reading »
I didn’t think she would do this
I didn’t think she would do this. I look back at everything that happened and I hate myself because I didn’t see the signs. It happened 2 times but I don’t remember the first time. The second time I remember. I went to her house to go in her hot tub and when we got up to her room she said that she needed to go change. Later after she changed she came back. The next thing I remember she starts taking my swimming suit. I stood there. I was terrified. I didn’t fight back. I remember screaming in my head begging her to stop but nothing came out. She brought me down to the floor and rolled on top of me. She started groping me and touched me in places I never wanted to be touched. The memory is starting to fade and I wish I could remember but at the same time I… Continue reading »
Your never stop hurting me till your gone
I barely knew you. You only just came back to your family. You were supposed to be a fun loving uncle but instead you hurt me. I was a week away from being 15 and you knew what you were doing was wrong, so why’d you do it. My uncle recently split with his wife and moved back in with my grandma and every one in my family was excited to see him again. Last time I saw him I was 13 and he got my older sister drunk when my parents weren’t around. Before that I hadn’t seen him since I was about 8 so i was excited too. Let me just say that he is a photographer who only takes pictures of dancers about my age. Anyway so while my step day was away for work for 3 weeks my mom sent me and my sisters to my grandmas house for a week… Continue reading »
sexual assault
I was twelve years old and in 7th grade.. My mom was involved with a man who we used to call uncle… I thought he was a great man.. I always asked for money and he will give it to me.. I did not know that he was planning something on me. One day my mom and him started to have some fights. Then the was this other day that I was alone with him in the kitchen.. He offered me money so that he could sleep with me and he said I should not scream I was afraid and scared then he began to kiss me and tried to touch my body.. Then I got a chance to run away.. So this is my first time saying this in public even my mom does not know that I was nearly raped by her ex.. — Survivor, age 18
When will it be enough?
Why is it not enough? Why is my reluctance not enough to make you stop? Why is my “no” not enough? Why is my “no no no” not enough? Why are my clawing, shoving, desperately-trying-to-pull-my-pants-up hands not enough? Why is my cry of “oh god make it stop, please make it stop” still not enough for you? Why are my tears not enough? Why do I have to be violated and then told that I’m too young to recognize that women want a man who “takes charge in the bedroom”? Why does this have to happen over and over and over again all over the world? I am heartbroken for all my sisters who have endured the same pain. It is not fair that we have lost pieces of our souls after these monsters. It is not fair that the gaping wounds attract more predators, like sharks drawn to blood in the water, who tear… Continue reading »
I will never forget
All this start when i meet a boy when i was 16 he was my dream man who later will be my nightmare,i remember like today the day u do that too me,i was young and silly i believe in this world everybody is like me,naive as i was,i could never forget when i get into your car ,i was crying begging you to stop the car u just don’t listen i was just a sex doll for u not even human,u drive me to that shitty motel and raped me u see my face was covered with tears i was scared but u never care u just care for ur desire and after hours of it u leave me like trash in the middle of nowwhere with no money,u know i could not make a call beacuse of the society we live,in that day u don’t only rape me u destroy me trust in… Continue reading »