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Rubbing my scars

I am six years old. I think. It’s unclear my exact age because my parents never talked about it growing up and the legal records are now sealed. I am six, give a take a few years, and I am sitting on my bedroom floor between my bed and the wall. I’m not wearing pants and my legs are spread apart. He is sitting across from me, his hair is slicked back, in a pony tail. He uses his fingers to spread the lips of vagina apart. He is inspecting it. He has to lower his head to see what is down there, in there. Sticking his fingers inside me, he opens my vagina up. He inspects me with his eyes and fingers. He is ten years older than I am and my babysitter. Where is my younger brother while this is happening? Is he with my parents? Where are they? What are they doing?… Continue reading »

Supe que fue un abuso cuando ya era demasiado tarde…

Cuando tenia 5-6 años, no recuerdo la edad exacta, un primo mio de unos 17 años solia sentarme en sus piernas y frotarse sus partes conmigo. Nunca intentó tener relaciones conmigo pero fue algo que me afectó por años. No sabía si debía contarlo o no porque no sabía ni siquiera qué era el sexo, qué era el placer sexual, no sabía nada de eso. Recuerdo que entendí lo que había pasado cuando recibí educación sexual en la primaria. Pareciera algo sin importancia pero me marco por años. Hoy tengo 35 años y hasta hace poco le conté a mi mamá. Esto afectó mucho mi vida sexual, pero ya no tenía caso enfrentar a mi agresor, solo he evitado tener que verlo. A veces me he dado cuenta de que la mayor parte de mi vida he tratado de pasar desapercibida, nunca me gusto que me alagaran ni llamar la atención. Es algo muy muy… Continue reading »

Survivor

I was raped for two years. And that was only the first person. During that two years there were others who tried and one who succeeded. All of this happened before my 18th birthday. My first relationship began when I was 16, it only took him a week into it to say if I didn’t start having sex he wasn’t going to stay with me. He was the first guy to really pay me any attention, a tale as old as time I know. So I had sex with him. And it was a first time that I don’t wish upon anyone. He picked me up and we drove to his mom’s townhouse. He wasted no time in taking off my clothes and pulling me into his bedroom. With no trace of romance or care he pushed himself inside of me and then got mad at me when I said I was in pain. Angrily… Continue reading »

How Many Times?

I have been raped, I don’t know anymore whether I admit, or declare it. My first time, also my first time, was on a date with my boyfriend. We were making out, and he went up my shirt, and I stopped him with a no. He kept trying until he got to 2nd base, and then went under the shirt, and an emphatic no didn’t stop his hands. I included a no at each stage, through penetration, intercourse and orgasm. my opinion was clear, and unimportant. On Monday, he had a date with a classmate, and we weren’t committed, in that order. Less than a week later, we had the stereotypical rivals football game, which we lost in the fourth. Walking home, through a playground in the minor creek and woods, I ran into a guy. He was from the other school, from his jacket. He was cute, nicely built, hot butt. He was charming,… Continue reading »

Raped by a work colleague

This starts April 2017 i went for a team meal with work colleagues, a few of us stayed out for drinks. So this “man” decided he would stay out with me and a few girls from our team. As the night went on 1 by 1 girls started to leave so i decided to stay for a few more with this man. This man was on my team he is 20 years my senior, has a daughter a few years younger than me. So what i can remember was going to a few places, he just kept buying drinks, like i struggled to keep up,We was having a laugh. Then all i can remember is a few seconds of me in a taxi with him then it goes black…. I remember being guided into a room,i fall to the floor, it goes black….i wake up its dark i feel beard on my face kissing me,i… Continue reading »

My story

I was conceived from rape my dad was taught women are property of the husband ,and he was also taught that it’s in the Bible to rape his wife , after I was born I was molested at 6 months by my bro in law who continued to molest me until nine years old , I was also raped and molested by my bro ,and old sis , this continued into my 20’s , I was told men have the right to rape it’s their need , I was also told there nothing I could do about it sense my parents claimed it was their religion , to believe that I was property and that I was subsquented to anything they do to me until I was 18 , I had to teach them that is wrong and it’s abuse ,but sadly they didn’t listen , they pimp me out for food ,drugs ,clothes ,… Continue reading »

Healing takes time

Everything started of age 7 and lasted up to when I had turned 12. It’s a hard thing to talk about now that I look back at it, but if I learned one thing, it’s that releasing all that negativity helps spread light into oneself. At such a young age, something so precious from me was stolen, my innocence. My grandfather used to touch me inappropriately and tell me things I didn’t want to hear. He’d make me touch him in places. He’d reveal things that should not have been told to a child. One day I had enough and told my family about it, it was a long time before I had told anyone, but we decided not to press charges due to the illness my grandma was suffering at the time. That was the last time I had talked about that subject since it made me feel uncomfortable. My mother mentioned that he’d… Continue reading »

Feels like i am drowning

My first encounter with anything sexual was at 7 when an older guy i used to play with india pinned me to a wall and kissed me. I didn’t really understand what as going on but i felt disgusted by his actions. A year later i moved to a different town and there was this older neighbor uncle who groped my boobs (didn’t even have any at this point) while we were playing cards. Again it was disgusting to me but no one seemed to notice. I had developed anorexia at this point but no one really noticed. I moved to USA with my family at 12 and my cousin (who was 17) started molesting me, it lasted for 2-3 years. He used to live right next door and came over all the time because our grandparents lived with my family. He used to touch me everywhere, kissed me on the mouth and made me… Continue reading »

Molest

Hey, guys. So, yeah… I’ve been keeping these feelings of anger and betrayal in for too long, and I’ve decided to finally share my story. Since a very young age, my parents taught me that my (woman part) is mine, and no one should ever get to touch it WITHOUT my consent. So, I guess I knew it was wrong, but sadly when you’re that young, you don’t really know what the meaning of the word ‘molest’ is. So, I remember I was 6 at the time and my mom’s work friend/ best friend offered to look after someone’s house while they were away, and we slept over with her at the house. Unfortunately her (at that time) boyfriend decided to tag along as well… So we went out to visit their friends as we were looking after the house and I remember at that time I used to have a favorite blanket that had… Continue reading »

I was assaulted twice at the same party

I had just returned from a year of studying abroad, so my 3 best friends decided to throw a small party for me. I had just turned 17. It was a small party for close friends, and the cousin and a couple of his friends of my best friend. Through the night, I got quite drunk. I don’t remember how it happended, but I somehow ended up in a locked bedroom with a friend of the cousin (so I didn’t know the guy). He told me the others had locked us inside. I believed him, since I was quite drunk. I laid down on the bed, I told him, that I was just gonna sleep until they’d lock us out again. He didn’t listen. He started touching and kissing me, even though I kept saying I wanted to sleep. Then he fingered me. It hurt, and it wasn’t pleasurable at all. I didn’t do anything…. Continue reading »