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Rape

I was 8, becca my older sister was 13.She turned my daddy in for rape, we all went to the burnett bayland orphanage in Houston texas. The charges were dropped two years later when she ran away, and the rest of us were returned to daddy, where he did the same to me and my little sister. Who is to blame for this? I still wonder 50 years later, but the child welfare system did it to me. They set me up. How horrible it was and still is. — Nona, age 65

Rude awakening

Startled awake, I was staring at a shotgun pointed at my face. He told me in a rude term what he was going to do, and ripped my nightie pretty much off. He then pushed between my legs, holding the shotgun in one hand. To be honest, I didn’t notice his physical assault, as my full attention was on the gun, and his finger on the trigger, twitching as he pushed. I was most nervous as he climaxed, and almost pulled it. He stood and as he pointed the gun between my eyes, told me it was more than I deserved. Again he kept his aim with one hand, aiming his penis with the other. He then urinated on my face. I stayed quiet, not to irritate him to fire. He then ordered me to keep silent about this and not to call the police, or he would be back with the rest of the… Continue reading »

My Story

There’s something I need to say, but I can’t. I can’t say it out loud. Because if I did then it’d be true. It’d be real. I don’t want it to be real. I just want it to go away. But it’s not going to go away, it’ll never go away. It will continue to weigh on my heart, my conscious mind, my sub conscious, my every being. I need to let it go. I need to talk about it to finally be free of this and move on. It’s time to let this go. A while back I was seeing this guy. Someone I had met a few years prior to this event. He seemed like a nice guy, a good guy, and as we started to hang out more, I felt myself being comfortable with the idea of him possibly being my boyfriend. Something I never thought to consider before, I’ve been very… Continue reading »

Sexual Assault

I had been off and on with this guy for about a year. He was my best friend, I loved him, and used to be one of the most important people in my life. We had broken up after about a 4 month span of trying to date, but decided to still remain friends because we had always been friends. I should’ve known that he wasn’t respectful of me when we would be in a room alone together and he would continuously put his hands all over me and I would physically have to remove them and say “no” over and over again. I just thought he missed me. Later on, we were studying and I spent the night at his place. The neighbors were having a party next door so the couch in the living room was surrounded by loud noise, so we decided to sleep in the same bed, no touching stated before… Continue reading »

Abused By A Therapist

I started seeing a psychologist at the Flexman Clinic at the age of seven to be tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder, which I was soon diagnosed with, in addition to OCD and ADHD. I started seeing either a therapist or another psychologist (I don’t remember which) soon after and at the same location. I don’t remember her name, but I remember her face and her bushy, dry hair almost as clearly as I remember her hands: wrinkled and tipped with red acrylic nails. Those images are burned into my mind now. On my second visit with her, the first without my parents, we started playing a board game. After we rolled the dice and our little marker travelled up spaces, the color of the space would tell us what color card to pick. After she pulled the card, she would ask me a question, which I suppose was written on the card. The first few… Continue reading »

I Never understood

When I was about 9, my older brother had a close friend who’d spend most of his days with us , he was older than me, I believe 14, and one of these days, I had come home from dance class, my mom wasn’t home, my brother was out and his friend was home alone . I had come home by my school bus and layed down on my couch to watch some TV , and he offered me a foot massage. I agreed, he was like a brother, and my feet always hurt after dance class. I don’t know when, but I had fallen asleep, and when I woke up , he was touching me in places I knew I wasn’t supposed to be touched. I didn’t think he realized I was awake until I shuffled to my feet and got up, he acted as if nothing happened, and as I was rather young,… Continue reading »

I don’t know what to call it…

Cut right to the chase. When I was in high school, my boyfriend and I were not sexually active. We would just spend a few hours in the back of my car fooling around after going out. Once we got to where he would finger me, I felt incredibly uncomfortable and wanted him to stop. I did not tell him to because I was terrified what might happen. After this instance, I became uneasy with any sort of touching from him. But I never told him to stop, I just took it thinking it was no big deal. I got to the point where I was scared to talk to him or be around him and broke up with him a few weeks later. It wasn’t until now, in college, that I knew this event had an effect on my current relationships. I cannot be intimate with my current, loving and supportive, boyfriend without having… Continue reading »

Too Many Times

I was raped when I was a kid. My dad is an alcoholic, my mom abandoned us for England. She tries to say that they didn’t, but she did. So where I was living, I pretty much didn’t have any parents, and these two men decided to use me. I was 6, and 7. The abuse kept happening. They kept engaging with me and raping me, it became routine after a certain point. It happened 10, 20, 30 times. I don’t remember how many times. I started having memories of it again, last year when I was 15, as I had repressed them for awhile. It was terrifying, realizing that I was a victim. I question if my memories are even real, but they feel so real when the flashbacks come, and I can’t think of anything but their hands on me, and their manipulation. It sickens me that I was abused. I wonder where… Continue reading »

I’m a functioning alcoholic

My story started with sexual abuse from a girlfriend when I was 5 (I am also female). I assume that she was sexually abused from her brothers or her father at a young age considering she knew what “going down on someone” was at the age of 5. What proceeded was my parents’ divorce and my mother’s mental decline. She had affairs with several men while my parents were married and my dad was an angry man. I have memories of her telling me how much she wanted to kill her self before I was 6.. I was extremely shy and self-conscious as a child, moving away from Georgia to Illinois. My parents gave me a choice to which parent I chose; I chose my dad (he worked out anger issues in a very effective way), which I am grateful for to this day, however during my childhood this led to guilt and self-doubt. From… Continue reading »

You are going to show me how much you love me

Picture it, Missouri, 2013….wow, to finally announce a time it sounds like such a long time ago, but in my mind it feels like yesterday. I was 16 years old. He was “19” so I thought. I gave this man my virginity. Part of me spent such a long time blaming myself for the events that unfolded, but a much larger part of me now sees the bullsh*t of justifying what he did! He beat me when I called, when I didn’t call, if I texted him too much, if I didn’t text enough, if I brought up my future plans, if I didn’t know the answer to something, if i disagreed, if I agreed too much, when it rained, when a restaurant got his order wrong, when he was drunk, when he was high, and when he was stone cold sober. This “19” year old guy who turned out to be 26 was the… Continue reading »