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Not Guilty

I was sexually abused by a close family ‘friend’. He was married with two children. He manipulated and ‘groomed’ me and my whole family into trusting him. The sexual advances towards me started around age 9 years old, and escalated over the years to follow. After years of control and mind games, he raped me when I was 14. He was in his late 30’s. He made me believe it was my fault, I wanted it and that if I told I would brake up his family and send him to prison. I did not want this at the time and I felt so ashamed. I did not tell anyone for 2 years and when I did, I still felt I was to blame. It took a year to get to crown court and about a week for him to be found not guilty. The police missed a lot of opportunities. They lost evidence, allowed… Continue reading »

Finding Peace

After watching Brave Miss World I was bawling. No one ever seems to understand the aftermath of rape, and how I wished that I had been able to see this when I was on the road of self destruction. I was a very young child torn between families and homes. This meant that it was easy for a vulnerable child to be abused. The home I was in was not the healthiest. Those family members ostracized me and seemingly did not notice the signs of what was happening. Maybe they didn’t want to. For years I was raped, beaten, neglected, psychologically tortured and abused. There are memories that I will never be able to erase. It started while I was too young to comprehend, 5. It came down to hurting me, was a way to hurt my other family members. Divorce can be a war. Somehow through all of this I survived, and shoved it… Continue reading »

Life and Death

I was raped by a man who told me that he was a friend of my roommate and that he, my roommate and friends were back at his hotel room. I believed him though I had inner stirrings of fear warning me of where he was leading me to. I ignored these because he was a friend of my roommate’s. I entered the room, and he turned and bolted the door closed, turned the TV on very loud. There was no one else in the room. I knew then positively that I was in danger. He stripped me as I struggled and fought. The harder I fought the more forceful he became until he had me pinned beneath him with his hands pressing around my throat. As he pressed to strangle me, our eyes locked and I knew that in that moment he could kill me, that I could die right then and no one… Continue reading »

You Must Acknowledge

For some reason I still can’t come out and say that what happened to me was rape even if everything in me says it was. I often refer to it as a “passive sexual assault” even though friends I’ve told about it have all said that it was rape. I was 19, had just finished my first year of college, and was seeing a guy who wasn’t good for me at all, but I was young, naive, and a little too adventurous. I never dated anyone in high school, and the only boyfriend I had had in college dumped me soon after the first semester of school. So, I was pretty easy prey. I had also slept with the guy soon after meeting him and was very sexually open, which is probably why he felt he could do what he did to me. He took me to his friend’s house under the guise of us… Continue reading »

Stand Strong

My heart goes out to all the survivors sharing. I was drugged and raped over 25 years ago as a girl. My friend, her father was a very sick abusive man who was drugging her and others and photographing abuse. It was truly horrific. There were two against me and I could not fight back. The aspect of the pictures being taken is also very disturbing. My friend covered immediately claiming there was a ‘ghost’ in the house, coming in her room all the time and touching her. I begged her to get help with me and she refused. It was two decades later she spoke the truth. Her father was a pedophile. With his friends, they used sleeping pills and took photos. I knew it was true. It was so depressing.I went through therapy and two years waiting for nothing in the justice system. I also wrote a Phd on this very issue. As… Continue reading »

What If I Make You?

There is no short way to tell this story. There is no condensed version of the pain I’ve felt every day since 10:26pm, October 10th, 2011. I know very few will read this, but I also know that I wouldn’t be able to stand telling my story one more time, leaving a single detail out just so I won’t make someone uncomfortable. A little over three years ago I started dating a boy I’d known since kindergarten. He lived right down the road from my best friend when we were little so we even sometimes played together. I’d always had a little bit of a crush on him, but we never had a single class together all the way from elementary school to 12th grade, so I eventually kind of forgot about him. Our senior year he stopped me in the hallway and started talking to me and told me we should go on a… Continue reading »

Did He Rape My Mind Too

I was 17 when I was drugged and raped. I was on holiday with my best friend, and it was our 2nd night out. We went to a bar and started chatting to a group of lads. At the time it seemed so genuine and I was having a good time. The guy who raped me separated me from my friend. She left and I was the only one left at the bar. My mind goes blank, until I was in the hotel when he was raping me. Did he drag me back? Did I agree to go back? I couldn’t move when he was raping my body was like jelly as my drink was spiked. I let him to do what he needed to do and soon thought it will be over. I then escaped with my rapist next to the side of me. I ran out of the hotel and ran for my… Continue reading »

Molestation

I was raped, and molested at the age of 7. It is a very long story, but I played with my neighbors and their uncle is the one who did this to me. It was brought to the attention of a police women and our parents whom brushed it under the rug. I suffer from agoraphobia, PTSD, Anxiety, borderline personality disorder, and depression. He was never punished. I suffer everyday. I want justice and I really want to be myself again, but I cant. Please help.

A Child

I was abused as a 7 year old child by my uncle. It has taken me a along time to get where I am today. He made me touch him, and he touched me. I am now in the process of sending him to prison for what he has done. I will get justice and see this man sent to prison. I was also regularly raped by my boyfriend of 3 years, when I was 22. He was abusive. He made me think that sex is supposed to be painful. He bruised me and made me bleed almost every time. I am still frightened to tell anyone of this as he was my boyfriend, and although I did not give consent he can just say it was consensual. He took consent because he thought he had a right to. I used to just lay there and allow him to rape me because I was afraid… Continue reading »

(Part of) My Story

From approximately age 6 to age 9, I was raped repeatedly by my teenage half-brother. The abuse stopped because we had a fire in our house, which he started, and all the kids in my family went to live with other families. I never told my mother what had happened, because I knew that all seven of the kids in my family had been molested by different people, like my brother or my mother’s boyfriends. I knew that my mother would not believe me and would do nothing to protect or comfort me. When I was 10, the boyfriend of a woman I baby sat for attempted to molest me, but I succeeded in fighting him off. What had happened to me previously made me one very tough little girl. For most of my adult life, I suffered from PTSD, though I didn’t recognize it as such until I began hearing stories about other people… Continue reading »