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Deserved What I Got

I was raised in a strict Christian family. No boyfriends and no sex talk. It all changed when my parents got a divorce. The night the divorce was finalized my best friend and I went to a party hosted by seniors that I did not know. I was fifteen. I had only ever kissed one boy. I had never drank or done drugs. I remember the host taking a particular interest in getting me drunk. I can’t say he forced it down my throat or anything. I didn’t know my limit and he just kept handing it to me and encouraging me to drink more. He praised me when I did. They had marijuana and I took a hit, but got sick and went in the house. He followed me in and gave me another shot. I went and sat on a recliner and eventually passed out. I remember bits and pieces after that. He… Continue reading »

Multiple Times

I have been raped more than once. And unfortunately, some people start blaming the victim after the first time it happens. And unfortunately I rarely talk about this because it takes a piece of me every time I talk about what has happened. The first time I was raped, I was a junior in high school. I went to a party wth my best friend. I was a little tipsy but was not drunk but everyone else was. I went in a room at the house the party was at and went to bed. But I woke up to a guy trying to pull down my yoga pants. I told him to stop and he listened. I started to doze off and I felt pressure on my back. He was on top of me as I was laying on my stomach. I told him to leave me alone and he pulled down my pants. He… Continue reading »

Innocent Faith

In March of 2015 my boyfriend, my first, and I broke up. I met another guy who seemed great. We hung out. I had gone to his house for a few nights already and not once did he try to touch me. Then one day we decided to drink again but this time with his friends. I got too buzzed and decided to lay down. He lay with me cuddling me like all the night’s before. I accepted. Then he started pushing his pelvis towards my bottom. After he started lifting my dress. I wanted to say no but I couldn’t say anything or move. He moved my underwear aside and pushed himself inside of me. I don’t remember much after that. Only him moving back and forth for a while. When he finally stopped, he’d been done for a while I finally was able to move and I pushed him out of me. I… Continue reading »

Darkness With Friends

One day I was just chillin in my room texting a friend from school. Then I get these weird texts all of a sudden. My friend and I then text on another format of texting. We try to figure who’s texting me then we find out. From that day on until today, I met so many people just by that one person. They tell me everything. Their stories to dreams to really deep stuff. They’re great people but the people around them are assholes to them. One is 18 and gets raped all the time by his moms boyfriend of 60. Mom doesn’t give a shit about it. Gets beaten every day by his older sister and she even raped him too. He is a good person but hes always getting into trouble. Getting kidnapped, drugged, and raped by older people. Another is 20 and his parents beat him every day and hurt him so… Continue reading »

Feeling Alone

This last February/March I was raped by someone I formally call my friend. After drinking too much one Friday night our friend group was hanging out, we all got up to walk down the hall to another room in our dorm when he grabbed my breast and pulled me into the men’s bathroom. I told him no and he proceeded to say “don’t you dare be telling anyone about this you hear?” And then started raping me from behind and eventually shoved it down my throat too. I was traumatized after that and only told a few close friends. Then another drunk night, 2 weeks later, he struck again. This time coming into my room touching me and then sticking his part into my mouth and choking me. My friends called the cops and they took him away. He is expelled from the college we went to and found guilty by them. But next step… Continue reading »

Unhealthy Relationship

I already knew this guy, he was a friend of my friends. One day we all hung out and he said he had feelings for me, and that those feelings have been there for quite a while. I thought he was the mos amazing guy ever by the way people and friends would talk about him. He would pick me up from school, and we would go out to where he used to work and we wouldn’t leave there till around 9:00 p.m so everyday I would get home around 9:00 p.m. The first 3 months were great. He was the sweetest guy ever, he would buy me flowers, he was a gentleman and he would treat me like a queen. Later on, he started to change. The first time were at a game and game and there was one of my friends that he didn’t like, he yelled at me and said “Why are… Continue reading »

Wrong Choice

This happened like 6 years ago…it was when i was young and stupid, going on drinking binges with my close friends. There was normally 5 of us, this night one of my girl friends left to go pass out, so it was just me and the guys. I thought it was all fun and stuff, we kept drinking and having a good time. One of the guys (this guy i had a crush on) he said he was ready to pass out, so I asked if he wanted company to make sure he gets home. It was all good, we walked and talked. We just get to his place and he sneaks in through his bedroom window, just as i was about to climb in, I black out. When I come to…I’m laying on his bed, half naked with him on top of me. I try to get up but he keeps going, I try… Continue reading »

Confusion

I never really considered myself a victim of rape, I still wasn’t sure whether I am or whether I’m just being sensitive. The first time I was raped, I was at my friends birthday, I had been flirting with a guy all night and I was blackout drunk as I often got at this time in my life. It was in the country and a bunch of us stayed in the outside loft instead of the house. I slept beside the guy and remember kissing him in the dark surrounded by people sleeping. The next thing I remember I was having sex and I said stop, pushed him off me and turned to my side where he continued having sex from behind and I pushed him off again. The next morning I assumed that was all that had happened and he had stopped when I said no, and here is where I get confused. I… Continue reading »

I Was Told It Was Normal

Three years ago, I was raped. It was by a man I had slept with consensually before after a night of drinking- I liked him, I was attracted to him, and he was someone from my inner circle of friends. But the night that it had happened, I had blacked out from drinking. It was my first and last time I allowed that to happen. One moment I was laughing with my best friend and leaving the bar and then I remember darkness as I realized I had stumbled into this man’s room. The next morning I was lying naked in his bed. I confided in my best friend, confused and scared because I remembered nothing. Had I passed out? Did he take advantage of me? Her response: “I wouldn’t put it past him” as if I should have known. Another friend said “You’re not alone- I know a lot of people that has happened… Continue reading »

The Silent But Haunting Wounds Of Rape

I’ve been raped twice (I’ll write about my second rape later on). The first rape I was 17 yrs, traveling in Greece. I had to go by ship to travel between islands. One evening, I met a man on the ship, he paid me a coffee and we had a chat. As I had no cabin to sleep in, he offered me to share his own cabin, to have a decent and secure place to go. I trusted him. I followed him. I never thought something bad could occur, not on a ship, not with so many people around. Once in his cabin, he started being violent, stuck me in the opposite corner of the door and asked me to undress. Then he pushed me on the bed. He sat on my chest, his sex was right above my face and he was trying to put it in my mouth. I was suffocating. I was… Continue reading »

 
 

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