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The Summer of 2013

Trauma. This word can describe many things. PTSD. Car accidents. Deaths. Rape. It can mean a variety of situations, each different from the rest. My brother and I both experienced trauma. In the summer of 2013, my brother was molested, and I experienced verbal sexual abuse. And the worst part of it all, was that the abuser was my 13-year-old cousin. She was our baby-sitter for that summer. My brother and I had a great relationship with my two cousins, Amber and Brianna. Brianna being the younger one, the same age as me at that time. Amber was hired by my mother through my aunt, her sister. Occasionally, my younger cousin would tag along for the day, dropped off by my aunt in the mornings. My brother and I were only 9 years old, our minds too young to process that anything that happened that summer was wrong. Amber was to be dropped off at… Continue reading »

Secretly Molested

I lived with my great aunt and uncle since I was about 3 because my mom didn’t have her life together. I think the first time I was molested I was about 7. I was sleeping between them for some reason and woke up to being touched down there. It was dark and I didn’t know who was touching me and didn’t know what to do so I stayed still and pretended to still be asleep. After a few minutes it quit so I just sent to sleep. Then nothing happened for a while. One day I had an much older female cousin stay the night who slept in my bed with me. While we laid there we talked and told secrets and I told her about that night. A few weeks went by before she told anyone. One day I was sitting in class (i was in third grade then) and I got called… Continue reading »

I Need to Tell Someone

I’m not sure how to begin to be honest, I have never gone into depth about it. I was molested and raped by my father and his brother. My father raped and molested me from age 4 until I was 13 his brother molested and raped me from ages 10 to 12. I felt like I couldn’t speak to anyone, I didn’t want to ruin my mothers marriage and I didn’t want to destroy my older brothers role model. I feel disgusting, there is no amount of showering that will get rid of that feeling. My dad’s brother was taken to court after my mum found out about him and he wasn’t convicted because there wasn’t enough evidence. My mum finally found out about my dad when I was 17 and she asked me (due to other family members speaking against him, which leads me to believe he’s done it to other people) she separated… Continue reading »

Hated Myself

I was 15 years old when I came from school waiting for a taxi to go home. Normally that taxi spot is always busy but that specific day there was a witness with no one in site when suddenly 3 guys came from across the road making as if they are also waiting on a taxi. They robbed me took my cellphone, money, jewelry… pointing a gun at me I was so scared to shout. The one asked me did I ever had sex and I said no…his reply to me was he will show me what sex is. He pulled me in the bushes pushed me on the ground pointing the gun at me if I shout he shoots me. He raped me. I was so in fear he might kill me. He felt me and ran away. I felt so dirty, hated myself thought it’s all my own fault. I reported it at… Continue reading »

Someone I Thought I Could Trust

It was summer 2016, I was 17 at the time almost 18. I was in karate for 7 years, I had quit when I was 13 or 14. By this time my mom was still going and I decided to go with her to watch. I saw a few people I knew from when I had gone to the lessons. The main instructor barely recognized me but was very happy to see me. Another instructor recognized me immediately and was acting strange and different. I thought he was just being dorky and funny, but when I got home, he had messaged me. I thought it was weird at first but I went along with it. “He hadn’t seen me in a while, he probably wants to catch up.” I thought. Then he started acting inappropriately, saying I was hot and that he wanted pictures of me. A man that was 10 years older, someone who… Continue reading »

High School

I am currently 15. A freshman in high school. I excepted my first year of high school rough, but never this bad. Just 2 weeks before school was supposed to start I was raped. It was by a friend. Somebody I trusted. We we all over at his house just hanging out. A bunch of us. Swimming and having fun. People started to slowly leave but I decided to hang around longer. He asked if I wanted to hang out in his room. I knew it was a bad idea. I was 14 and never even had my first kiss, little alone been in a boys room alone with them. But I said yes. We hung out and he started to get touchy. I was uncomfortable but didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to be rude. Things happened fast. He pushed me back on the bed and kissed me. I was shocked. I froze. Once… Continue reading »

I Thought I Was Safe

It was sophomore year of college and I was so happy to move back on campus. It had never occurred to me that with the independence and freedom I found in college, there also came many things I needed to be aware of that could compromise my safety. I was naive. I never thought it would happen to me in a place I loved so much. I never thought I was unsafe. I moved back on campus early, as did many of my friends. A couple of nights before classes started, my friend Hannah and I decided to have a quiet night and planned on having a couple of drinks and listening to music. After an hour or so, one of Hannah’s friends (we’ll call him Ted) came in. I knew of him and had seen him around campus, but this was my first time really meeting Ted. We hit it off right away and… Continue reading »

The Park

It sounds crazy but in some way it feels kind of good to write this down here. When I was 14 I knew a Muslim boy in school. He was super sweet and we were really good friends with each other. At one point he wanted to have a relationship with me and he was pretty open about it. I said I’d rather just remain friends but he wasn’t very happy to hear that, then he pushed me against the wall and ran off. A few days later on my way to the bus stop, I saw him standing in the park, which i had to go through to get to the bus, along with 2 other friends. They made a game of it. Disgusting. After it happened, I went home acting like nothing had happened. It took me a year and a half to finally to tell someone about it and when I did… Continue reading »

Babysitter Abuse

Gonna be 60 …I have never told anyone about this …so here goes …I’m 5 years old …baby sitter abuses me …my mom’s best friend at that …what did I know …but this has ruined me …first cause my mom didn’t believe me and it kept going for 2 yrs or so …at 7 I was molesting little girls in the neighborhood…..this was the 60’s, more like show me show u …but one time a girl probably 8 or 9 did the same thing to me and I got caught and she blamed me…..I have no trust in women …that experience made me a sexual being before I should have been …I’m addicted to porn …all kinds. — Survivor, age 59

My rape

I was raped by various people from my extended family. I was young so I didn’t know what they were doing to me. Everyday I think about it. It kills me inside. I wish I could tell someone but I feel ashamed. I feel this way because my rapists were people who were people I was related to. I wish I could make it go away. It makes me feel disgusted. — Survivor, age 17