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Why Didn’t You Stop Him?

I was raped when I was 15 by a man who took me back to his house from a park. I didn’t mention it for 12 months; eventually I burst and shared. The following is my delineating of the story that I wrote 4 years later, and edited today. It has been 10 years now and I am healing slowly. Right now, letting a man in is still my greatest desire, and greatest fear. I still intermittently feel like I’m drowning. The Courage To Heal – I remember lying on a bed in the very early morning light and feeling myself dying. I remember when my heart hit my feet and I felt like my whole world had just been taken away from me. I remember not being able to breathe. I remember suffocating. It felt like I was in slow motion watching my life being taken from me. I knew at that moment that… Continue reading »

Effort To Survive

Yesterday, I read on a magazine about Linor and the documentary. I was very touch. Today, I go to your website and think that I must share my own story. It was the night of Saturday the 16th November 2013 in Brussels, Belgium. In July 2013, when I was 21 years-old, I received a full scholarship to study my last undergraduate year in Brussels. With a Vietnamese young girl like me, this was a golden opportunity to go far and explore the world. I arrived to Belgium in August 2013. On Thursday the 14th November 2013, a male student from the same home university visited me. He went to Europe with the same scholarship as me, but to Warsaw, Poland. When I was in Vietnam, this boy was recognized as one of the best students in our home university due to his study results and his polite appearance. So I trusted in him voluntarily and… Continue reading »

My Ex-Boyfriend and Rapist

When I was 19, I had the world in the palm of my hand. I had just graduated high school and community college, both with advanced honors. In the fall, I transferred to university and was looking forward to all that college life had to offer; I was excited for my new classes. I had started dating a boy, who I will call P, that I had met online. The first time we went on a date to the beach and just walked around and talked all night. I thought he was a great guy. Until he started the cycle of abuse right then and there. I have always been insecure about my looks. He asked me if I was Jewish. I was surprised at the random question and said no, why? He then said “because you have a huge nose” and he laughed about it as I cried. He apologized later and I decided… Continue reading »

BFF’s Husband

Sometime during the night of November 20, 2010, I was raped. Not by a stranger or an evil villain hiding in some dark alley that caught me off guard and raped then beat me and left me for dead. No, I was raped by someone I knew, and not just and acquaintance but someone I knew very well and trusted with all my being. I was raped by my best friend’s husband, in the guest room of their home, while she lay sleeping in their bed only 50 feet away. How the evening of November 20th started: My best [then] friend, her husband (the rapist) and 3 other couples went to an annual event at a local hotel in our little town. My husband works at the hotel and had worked all day there so he chose not to go to the event with us even though we had purchased tickets in advance. All of… Continue reading »

Shelter My Soul

Only 13 years old and I had run away from my home. Where my mother would beat me and drag me around the floor because I refused to understand her. I ran away and hitchhiked on the highway right before marathon, 7 mile bridge. A man stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride. Indeed I did with such adrenaline and innocence. I believe in my heart this man was no threat. I was wrong he drove slow on the 7 mile bridge and asked me for a favor. I didn’t understand what he meant but he said 100 dollars and hearing that all I can think of is money for me to buy clothes or eat food. Of course he placed his right hand on my left knee. It is so vivid because what I was feeling at that moment is that I did not understand at all. Why does his hand feel… Continue reading »

Rape or Not?

I just saw Brave Miss World, and it made me think of my past. It was year 2011 when this happened. I was going to have sex with a boy that I didn’t know so well. We were at the party. At first, I wanted it myself too. Then I found out that he didn’t have a condom. I didn’t want to continue and I asked him to stop. He didn’t. I cried and then I fell asleep because I was drunk. The boy was also drunk and probably on drugs too. Next day, I felt ashamed. I went straight to pharmacy to get a morning-after pill. Later I went to see a doctor. I wanted to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases. Everything was alright. I had survived. I’ve really been thinking was this a rape or not. He didn’t hurt me physically. I haven’t heard of him ever since. I’m not angry at… Continue reading »

Incapacitated Still

When I was about 6 or 7 years old one me and my oldest first cousin male who is 7 years older then me was play wrestling. Then he said let me do something… At this point he started hunching me from behind. It went on for a little while and he would pay me money or bribe me with things so I could do it. Then one day he made me angry and I said “I’m going to tell what you do to me” & he said “No one will believe you because He often rubbed on the other family as a joke. At that moment I became mute. At the age of 14, I moved back with my mama because my aunt passed and she was taking care of me and my brothers. Shortly after me and the same cousin were drinking and I woke up naked with vomit everywhere. Until this day,… Continue reading »

My Classmate

I was only 12, I was the pretty smart girl with the big boobs had a rich family and all that , my parents were on vacation and I decided to stay home with my siblings they went out shopping and I told them I wanted to stay home finish my home work and so I did , I took a shower in my moms hot tub and the lights go off I opened the door and I see a boy taller than me he halt me by my hands took me to my bed I struggled to fight him he was pulling my hair……. He took of my towel and my underclothes then he striped off and started touch me he sat on top of me and raped me ……. I told my parents they traced the cameras got the boy who turned out to be my class mate told his parents and asked… Continue reading »

Multiple Assaults

When I was a child I was assaulted by my mother’s boyfriend for months. I told no one because he beat my mom and told me if I said anything he would kill her, so I kept quite for years. I was an adult when I finally told anyone and my mom was the first person I told. I wasn’t sure if she would believe me but she did. That wasn’t the only news I to tell her. When I was 16 I went to a hotel party we were drinking and met some older guys that wanted to move the party to their room so we did. My friends left me in their room alone with two guys. I said I didn’t feel so good so one of them told me I could lay down on the bed. I passed out and when I came to one of them had taken all my close… Continue reading »

No Wasn’t Good Enough

I was enlisted in the United States Army. I believed it was my chance to find my self and be courageous and to leave the sheltered area from where I was raised, to be a voice. After a deployment with my unit I came home, I was tired and worn out. I had settled in my small apartment that had been vacated my twin sister (who currently followed my footsteps and joined the army and was gone to basic training.) Little did I know that while I was gone she had found my biological brother who had been living on the streets. She offered the extra room in my apartment. So after a long waited time, I showered and found comfort sleeping in my own my bed. My brother came in around midnight, we spoke briefly and he then left. Around two am I heard him again, the house was black and I couldn’t see… Continue reading »