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I am a 23 y/o male. For the longest time, the memory of my rape remained untouched in the corners of my mind. I can’t quite remember the age that I was, but based on the context clues of my memory I would put myself around age 10. I had just showered, it was morning and I walked through the house to the second level bedroom I shared with my brother who is two years older than me. I remember laying down on my stomach on top of my sky blue towel down on the bedroom floor. My next memory is of my brother commenting on the way I looked, before I know it he is behind me and he is grappling for an article of clothing that he had stolen from some classmate of his and tells me to “put it on so that I look more like a girl” In what seemed like… Continue reading »

I blamed myself for so long

Rape. That’s something that I always heard of, but never really thought that it would happen to me. Everyone assumes rape is forced and you’re being held captive, it’s not all that. When I was 14, I started dating this guy. He had asked me multiple times before if I wanted to have sex with him, I told him no and left it be. I went over to his house a lot, and this one time a few weeks later, I decided that I wanted to have sex. I was 14 and a virgin. We went to his bedroom, and we had sex. I didn’t think much of it, well every week he would ask me if I wanted to have sex, I told him no multiple times and he would keep asking. I gave in every time, and we ended up having sex every time I went to his house. This one specific time,… Continue reading »

Semper Fi

My husband is in the military, a Sergeant in the Marines(I am Terrible, I can’t remember which of the many Sergeants he is!), and we are apart for many long months while he is stationed overseas. We make a silly looking couple, as he is tall and strong, and I am tiny and weak, except for 1(more like 2) areas that keep him interested. We have been together since Jr. High, and he is the only partner that I have been with(except for a little kissing, No Further). He is a very considerate lover when he gets leave, evidence our 2 kids. When we can arrange it, we talk over Skype and it takes a load of scheduling to do it, but he has privacy cubicles, so we can talk a little dirty, or even flash him the girls to get him excited to get home. It had been a while since he had leave,… Continue reading »

Was it my fault?

I have been with my boyfriend from the age of 13, I am now 20years old. He is the love of my life. Just over 1 year ago our perfect bubble was shattered. I was out drinking with my step sister. I remember feeling like the alcohol had definitely hit me but It was no more than a buzz. Then all of a sudden I was stumbling around. My body kept going limp and I kept collapsing on the floor. Then I’d be up walking normally again. In all the times I have drunk alcohol, I have never been like that. looking back now I do believe I was drugged. Who done it? I don’t know as I never seen my attacker before then. I bumped into my boyfriend’s mum while I was out and she tried to take me home but I kept saying no I’m fine. I wasn’t fine, she was picking me… Continue reading »

Not all friends are true

I grew up such a trusting and open person. I cared about everyone who crossed my path and I would give the shirt off my back to anyone who needed it. So when I got a call at 11:30 from a guy friend saying he needed a place to crash because he was too drunk to go home, of course I said yes without hesitation. When I went to his friend’s house to pick him up, he reeked of cheap vodka. And kept trying to hold my hand. I’ll admit, I had a little crush on him. So I liked it. And when I parked in front of my dorm, he leaned in to kiss me. I thought I was living out a movie. The boy I wanted, kissing me? So I kissed him. And I loved it. But once I brought him up to my room he had plans that didn’t involve him sleeping… Continue reading »


Rape: you think it will never happen to you. You have a right group of friends. People you’d lay your life down on the line for. You have people you trust in your life. People you truly believe could never hurt you. That would rather die before seeing you in pain. But that’s not how real life works. People aren’t all good. You never truly know someone o their intentions. When I met you I got a bad vibe from you. But then we became friends, and I shrugged the vibe away and told myself you were cool. We got closer each day. I told you my secrets. You told me yours. I confided in you when I was dealing with problems. And you listened and you were there for support. You were always there just listening. Being the good friend that I needed. I felt like when we became friends a part of me… Continue reading »

Ketamine Rape

It was the first semester of my first year of college. I was desperate… desperate for approval, desperate for love, desperate to fit in. Tony seemed like a nice guy, though I had only met him once before. He asked if I would be his girlfriend, and I agreed. Over the next couple of months, he quickly started pushing past my boundaries. He would lay on top of me (he was 280 pounds) and make out with me until I was gasping for breath, give me a minute to breathe, and then start again. I became increasingly uncomfortable, and so broke things off. That night he came to my dorm room and asked to have one last cup of (non-alcoholic) eggnog, which was a tradition of ours. He said he just wanted closure. I didn’t watch him pour it. I took a few sips quickly and realized something was wrong, but by the time I… Continue reading »

I let it happen twice

I’m not sure when I first met him, but I do know that we grew very close the last two years of high school. A combination of an early love for attitude alternating substances and a lack of interest in the structure of high school, we would skip class together frequently and party together on weekends. Sometimes knowing he would be at a party was the only way to get me there, since I didn’t run with his circle of friends. I’m not sure when he started dating one of my good friends, but I think they began their 5+ year relationship during the last year of high school, which only brought me and him closer (Moving forward let’s call him .. Ralph) as friends. One of my favorite friendships, because as a believer in the ladder theory it was relieving to have a 100% platonic friend. I had my boyfriends, Ralph had his monogamous… Continue reading »

I’m getting Married tomorrow

It happened the afternoon before my Wedding. I met a client at a Bar and Grill. Afterward, my car battery was Dead. I ran into an Ex-Boyfriend, who offered me a Ride home. He said he wanted to give me something for my Wedding. We pulled in around the back of my Apartment. He made some crude Suggestions, which I Refused. He reclined my seat, and got to Molest me. I repeated, “No, No, No!” and fought him. He climbed in my seat, and Pulled at my Clothes. I Screamed. He Hit me. I was Losing, so I Pleaded that he Not Rape me. He said, “No.” I asked him to at least use a Condom. He said, “No.” I Screamed as he Raped me. I Pleaded for him to Pull Out. He said, “No.” He Inseminated me. Someone took some Incriminating looking Pictures. His attack continued. He took some Pics of my Naked body…. Continue reading »

I Was Prepared

After my divorce, I moved to protect myself. I got a .32 automatic and took NRA lessons to qualify. I clipped a holster to the side of my purse for access. I had a CS(tear gas), military grade(illegal in my state, but who checks?), clipped to my strap. I took self-defense. I had a small punch dagger on my key chain. My ex has a restraining order, and we had no kids, so no reason for contact anyway. Tonight I met a new contact from a site at a local Indian restaurant, a nice public place. It was a delicious dinner, and nice conversation, but no chemistry honestly. He offered to ride me home, but I didn’t want him to know my address, and I did kiss him Good Night, but I felt like it was Good Bye. I went for the Trolley, which almost takes me to my door. The brick trolley stop is… Continue reading »