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Innocence

I…don’t remember that much. I was only 2 or 3, most likely 3. I was raped by a women with blonde hair, that’s all I remember. I don’t know her name and I can’t remember her face. I only remember her kissing my neck. It was truly horrible. This was 11 years ago. She probably did more than that, my mind isn’t letting me remember it though, as if protecting me. I will forever be scarred. My innocence and childhood was taken away at that moment. To this day, I still feel her kisses on my neck and I try to scratch it away. It won’t go away. No one knows, not even my family, just close friends. I think I was raped after that as well, I feel like I have by another family member. Yet, I still can’t remember. Sexual abuse scars you in a weird way, like it’ll never fully heal. You’ll… Continue reading »

Someone I Dated

I was raped by someone I dated, I’ve told one person and it scares me to tell anyone else. Maybe sharing this with you and anyone who reads this will help. I know I’m not alone but it’s still scary to talk about. I was casually dating, let’s just call him ”B”, for a couple of months before the rape. Things we’re going pretty well, we had fun together but it was nothing serious. One night he came over after work, he worked at a bar so he usually got to my place around 3 am, we slept together that night and everything was fine until the morning. He wanted to have sex again and I did not. B kept asking and I said I was tired and didn’t feel like it, I said no multiple times but I guess he didn’t take it seriously. Before I knew it, I was laying on my stomach… Continue reading »

4th of July

I remember it like it was yesterday. And although I was intoxicated at the time, I remember the pain. I remember the embarrassment afterwards. I was 20 years old, and I was waiting for marriage. He was a hockey player. He was charming and he was older. It was the Fourth of July, and he asked me to hang out. I had a fake ID, so we went to the bars. After a few drinks at a bar, I wanted to go home. I asked him to take me home, but that was a silly question. He was visiting Michigan from Chicago and did not have a car since he was with his hockey team. He told me that he’d walk me to my car where we could sit and talk and sober up and then I could drive home. So, we walked to it. We got inside. We talked. Then we started kissing. We… Continue reading »

So Now What?

Upon finding this site, all I have to say is I believe that in this world there is only one solution to rape, pedophiles, and all that nasty shit that goes on, and that is death. Those filthy rats that are human cannot be forgiven, and for those who oppose and are ignorant. They are just part of the disease. Until it happens to you, is when you will change. We have all been murdered, and now that we realize that we have a second opportunity in life. Let us fight for our brothers and sisters still going through what we went through. I declare war on everything that stands for child abuse, neglect, and sexual assault. I will bring justice to those who walk tainted, and I will take off the blindfold of justice, for it too is ignorant and blind.

Your First

It was two weeks before my 15th birthday. I was on a vacation with my father and I was out with kids my age and 3-4years older. I had meet a few of them before. We were all drinking and it was my first time with alcohol. After awhile, we went to a persons house and I needed to us the toilet. A guy knocked on the door and because I was on my way out, I opened the door. He then locked the door and came behind me and started raping me. I was so young and had not even had a boyfriend before. I felt it was all my fault, since i did not try to stop it. I could not tell anyone about this for years. I felt so ugly and that the only way boys could ever like me was if they could do what ever they wanted with me. I… Continue reading »

Who I Once Called My Father

I am afraid… I have never told anyone… I don’t know where to start… But it has to come… My story begins on March 20, 1997… the day I was born. Yes, I am only 17, still very young. Going back to the day I was born, I have no idea where I was born nor do I even have a clue of where I was born in the United States. Three years of my youngest life flew passed me. It was suppose to be the time of my life on earth to understand what numbers and toys were suppose to be. But that was not what I got, instead my birthday came and I was now four. At the age of four I was currently living under a bridge, a place where I called my home. I only had my blue blanket and the grass as my bed. I had a little brother and… Continue reading »

It’s Been 10 Years

It’s been 10 years since I was raped. I dislike even using the word rape and I have never written about it. I was 13 years old and a virgin when it happened. Me and a friend snuck out late at night and went to a party where I drank for the first time in my life. I was drunk and raped by an older guy there. I did not tell my parents until a month later when I confessed it to a close friend. She told her mom and she called the police. I rarely go into details because I feel like my soul floated out of my body while it happened. I sometimes even blame myself because I was drunk. The police was not helpful and my parents completely shut me out. I began to cut and heavily drink up until my senior year in high school. In college, with the help of… Continue reading »

Glad To Say I’m A Survivor

I was 15 when it happened, He was my best friend.. Me and him would always walk to our other friends house together, As we were walking he started touching me, nothing big or anything, just a tap here, or there. then he grabbed my hand and asked me to kiss him, I said no, but instead of letting go he held my hand tighter and pulled me closer, By now I was pulling away, he pulled me closer and started to kiss me, So.. I did what any 15 year old girl would do.. I kicked him in his crotch and started running away, But of course with my amazing luck, I fell and managed to sprain my ankle, He caught up to me with in a minute thanks to that, And punched me in my eye, He then picked me up and dragged me to an area behind a rock next to the… Continue reading »

My Best Friend

My best friend was raped when she was fourteen. She was raped by two older guys during her summer job at a children’s theme park. She’s never been the same. She didn’t tell me that she had been raped until about five years ago, and it hasn’t been until recently that slowly their faces and voices have started to fade out of her dreams. She’s never been the same since that day. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to be there for her when it happened. I don’t think she was ready to share it with me and instead turned to drugs and alcohol, lashing out at me, and swiftly developing a severe speed addiction. Without knowing what had happened I tried to help in my own way, the way that a thirteen year old does, and when she continued to lash out I stepped away from our friendship. It wasn’t until two years later and when… Continue reading »

Marital Rape

As a 6 year old child, I was molested by an older cousin. I did not say a word about this for a few years. I accidentally spilled the beans one night to my mom. I was placed in counseling to deal with the trauma, and the person there to assist me in this taught my parents how to beat me without leaving any marks on me because I was so unruly. The counselor said, at the time, that being a victim means that now I would become an abuser as an adult. Fast forward several years. I started dating and become sexually active. I met someone and got pregnant. We married, but sadly this ended due to him being unfaithful. During our marriage I had spoken of the abuse of my childhood. He then started mentally abusing me by making false allegations of me being an abuser. I finally get the courage to leave… Continue reading »