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Rape

I am a 22 year old father to a beautiful little girl at 2 years old. I was rapped by my uncle and rapped for a year by my another at age 7 and beaten to a coma by age 13. I trust no one almost committed suicide almost 5 times. I cry for no apparent reason.

From Heaven to Hell

This all started when I was in the 8th grade, I met my now ex boyfriend Matt C. who I dated for about four years leading up to my junior year in high school. I’ve know Matt since we were very little, we went to the same elementary so I had previously know him. Our relationship together started out pretty well and within a couple months the physical, emotional and mental abuse started, it was a daily thing for me to end up with bruises and scars on my legs and arms from how often he would lay hands on me. Overtime the abuse got even worse, if he was having a bad day and I made him mad he would punch me in the face so at this point having black eyes and bruises on my face was a normal thing. During these periods of time my best friend was my foundation (makeup). I… Continue reading »

My Biggest Secret

I don’t know where to begin. Let’s just say this started when I was in head start. Maybe even before. My uncle who was maybe 17, 18 at the time would do these things to me I didn’t understand. I lived with my dad and his brother lived there to. I would go into the living room looking for my dad and he was say he was at work and to come lay with him. He would touch my private parts and I would be scared. He would do it everyday… I don’t know why I never told anyone. I think he told me to keep it a secret. My dad didn’t know what his brother would do to his daughter, even to this day. That happened from head start to maybe 3 grade… Then I moved with my mom bc my dad went to prison. Living in another state now. Then someday, idk why… Continue reading »

Unwanted Flashbacks

I just read a really mediocre article on my phone on attitudes towards rape. And suddenly it was all back, the feeling that I am not in control of my body and somehow feeling broken inside – unable to pinpoint and define the feeling. 3.5 years ago I was raped. I only realized 3 months after it happened. I called a helpline for advice and they bluntly told me that I couldn’t do anything that would result in real consequences for him. And back then I still felt somehow guilty and bad about potentially destroying his reputation and future. I felt really done after this conversation – these people were supposed to help the victims. All I got was the confirmation that I in fact was powerless! The one thing I did was sending him an email just stating: What you did is called rape. I felt I had to tell him. I felt that… Continue reading »

Six Year Old’s Point of View

You Knew, But Didn’t Care You knew as soon as I ran into the kitchen sobbing, “He hurt me!” something bad happened to me, but you didn’t care. You knew it was so bad I peed right in front of the oven door where one of you was basting the dinner roast while the other skimmed the paper at the kitchen table, but you didn’t care. You knew I was telling you the truth and not the man when he told you on the phone, “It was nothing,” but you didn’t care. You knew you were protecting him and his wife, not me when you said, “You just misunderstood him,” but you didn’t care. You knew I was in pain when I started to cry, then ran away from you out of the house and into the words and stayed there until dark, but you didn’t care. You knew my eyes were puffy when I… Continue reading »

Irony

I was bringing a friend of my to the train, because I wanted her to be save. When I went home, I placed my bicycle in a box beneath my apartment. A total stranger attacked me from behind. He told me he was going to kill me and I should enjoy it. I did fight at the end because if I didn’t I would die. Its 6 years ago and know I feel like I can speak about it. — Survivor, age 26

My Story

I met him while attending lessons at a school. He lived directly opposite. I was 15 and he was 22. The first time I saw him, I couldn’t stop staring! He was gorgeous. We spoke briefly for 1 year and a half. One day he invited me over to watch a ‘movie’. I was now 16. I went, not thinking about anything else but a movie. I was lying on his bed watching the television while he kept staring at my face. I felt really uncomfortable so I asked him to stop. He said my face was way better to look at rather than the movie. The next thing I knew, he was on top of me kissing me deeply. I kept trying to push him off. I was so scared. When I finally did get him to come off, he kept apologizing. I felt bad so I told him it was okay. I told… Continue reading »

My Relationship With Dad

This is hard to write about, because its still going on. My dad is still using me, and have been for almost a year now. I don’t remember everything about the first time he raped me. I was 16 and my mom was away on a business trip. She works a lot, starts early in the morning so she goes to bed early and is often away. So, I and my dad was sitting on the couch watching some movie. Then much is blurry. He threw himself on me, touched me, and didn’t care when I told him to stop. The one thing I remember clear as day however is what he said to me. He was groping me, and he whispered in my ear. He said things like “i’m sorry”, “I love you”, “daddy needs it”. He then penetrated me, and had sex with me. I didn’t scream out, I just cried. I still… Continue reading »

My First Time Speaking Up

My mom met a man from Iran when I was about 6 years old. He was kind and funny and had a son my age. Everything went smoothly and I trusted this man with my life. My father was basically very much on the sideline and always had been so it felt safe having a male rolemodel in my life. Our families merged, and this is when things changed. It started with a night after my mom had said goodnight. Her boyfriend came in and read me a story like he had been doing ever since we all moved under the same roof. He picked up a pen and stroked it over my back until I was half asleep. He then pulled my pajama pants down a little bit at the time drawing further down my butt. I was 7 at the time. Things progressed every day since that day. Playing inappropriate games which all… Continue reading »

My Side

Only three weeks ago, I had my first kiss. About 3 minutes later, I had my first sexual experience, against my will. It was the Friday before Halloween, and I was spending it with kids from my school, all of whom I felt comfortable around and felt safe with. All of these kids knew me; they knew I was smart, I was funny, I sometimes talked too loud, and I was a person deserving of respect. We did shots, laughing about the college application process and the burdens of taking 4 AP classes. I remember getting more and more drunk, but feeling okay – usually everyone left before midnight (it was already 11) and I had plans to spend the night at the host’s house, who happened to be one of my closest friends. The host had some friends from a neighboring town; a few of them I knew from previous parties and from hanging… Continue reading »