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Innocence Taken

As a 17 year old girl who was drugged, raped and impregnated by my own boyfriend, I would like to speak out and stand tall. My life was taken from me and I was forced to endure a full-term pregnancy only to be abandoned by my own parents and sent off into the dark winter night to an institution where I was subjected to malnutrition, humiliation, dehumanizing treatment and then tortured in L&D by professionals who were mandated to provide care and protection. My firstborn child was then trafficked into the ‘infant-adoption’ industry and subjected to being less than worthy as a ‘bastard’ taken in by infertile strangers. I wish rapists could be held accountable for the carnage they have inflicted upon Womankind. I would like to reclaim my innocence but that can only be done by speaking the name of my rapist and having him charged.

My Own Street

When I was 17, in my final year of high school, I went out to dinner with a couple of friends on a Saturday night. I left to walk home afterwards, and I was unaware that there was a car was following me as I did. I was almost home when I noticed the shadow of someone walking behind me. I turned around and nervously said hello to this man. He proceeded to grab me from behind with his arm around my neck, choking me with his fist in my face. He told me to “Shut up bitch or I will punch you.”, as I screamed. I did as I was told, as I was afraid he would kill me. He took my further down the street, trying to get to a more secluded spot. I screamed and yelled some more, I was so close to home. I called out for my mother, but no… Continue reading »

In Five Years

I am 60 years old. When I was 16, I was forcibly raped by my date. I pleaded for him to stop which he did eventually do but not before he penetrated me. A few years later I had too much to drink so went to a friends dorm room to sleep it off. My friend was studying and had not been drinking or partying to my knowledge. I was pretty snockered but I was able to walk from frat circle to his dorm and was attempting to take care of myself by not driving my car. I woke up with him pounding himself inside me. He pleaded with me to forgive him and tried to blame his actions on issues with his brother. He was pathetic while I enraged. I went to a party with the star of the football team from the same college. I did not consider it a date, just two… Continue reading »

I Will Never Forget

Three and a half years ago, at 3 o’clock in the morning, I sat at a worn table in a domestic violence shelter. I was preparing for the most important battle of my life: custody of my daughters. My daughters slept, upstairs in one of the shelter’s tiny bedrooms as I tried to figure out how to prepare my affidavit for court. I was sorely unprepared for the task before me. It seems in life there comes a moment that defines the very essence of who we are meant to be. Often, those moments do not seem special or life-affirming until months or even years later. However, while preparing that affidavit for court, the fact that I was a high school dropout with a GED did not even cross my mind. The pain and fear that came with the severe physical, emotional, and sexual abuse I had suffered throughout my ten-year marriage did not deter… Continue reading »

Raped At 16, 29, 31

I was a child, an intelligent one. I grew up in Melbourne, Australia. When my aikido assistant instructor invited me to study at his home before my holiday tuition commenced at Melbourne uni that morning, I did not know that he had other things in mind. I was raped in his bedroom. Believing that he then owned me, and being afraid of my conservative parents, I continued to be raped by him for another 5-6 months. He had gloated that I was sweet 16. He had said that his friend had checked and that it was not illegal. He had laughed that he dreamed that my father would bring a group of karate people to his home to chop him. He remains protected to this day. Living dead, I continued. I achieved and achieved and remained silent, dead inside, trying to survive. Trying to hide. No one ever really knew me. I was claimed as… Continue reading »

In The Past

I started dating my boyfriend when I was 18 years old. He seemed really nice, caring and I loved him the way you do as a fresh 18 year old. He quickly started to change and began showing controlling traits. I thought this was normal as this was my first relationship and I was a virgin. I slept with him thinking we wouldn’t break up. I trusted him and I thought he respected me. One day at my house, we had a fight because I didn’t want to have sex. He complained, saying I acted like we were married. He then took matters into his own hands and raped me. I went into shock and froze. I have since told my family, friends and boyfriend. I don’t feel embarrassed to talk about it as I, or no other woman, did anything to deserve such disrespect. I am trying to put it in my past as… Continue reading »

Just Like Yesterday

I am 58 years old but still remember it like it was yesterday. Hanging out with some friends at the lake at 15 years old. Some older people showed up and we all started talking and having fun. Come on with me and my friends and we’ll get some beer he said. So I went. An hour later we were on a back road in the woods. His friend and his girl got out with a blanket and walked into the woods. A few minutes later he was on me. I kissed him back but when his hand went in my shirt I tried to stop him. But there was no stopping him. He pushed me over on my back. When I realized I wasn’t going to get away from him, I looked out the back window and saw the pine needles on the trees and just mentally left. Dissociation the professionals call it. That… Continue reading »

End of Innocence

I had just turned 18. I knew everything or thought I did and my father’s temper was as bad as mine. We got into a fight and he told me to leave and to spite him I did. I went to my best friends house with the intent to stay a few days then talk to my dad. That night my friend’s mother’s boyfriend, decided we should all get loaded and forget about everything. He never completely sat right with me and to this day I still have a little voice that chides me for not listening to it. I don’t think I was just drunk, but I was definitely also drunk. Some how I ended up naked or near to in the living room floor. Everyone had started to disperse, my best friend was throwing up, her mother went to her room and I was alone. I felt hands on me and I was… Continue reading »

I Didn’t Let It Kill Me

It began when I was nine years old. I man in our neighborhood would come around on his motorcycle and see me. He told me to get on the motorcycle and kidnapped me. I did not know what to do so I did what he said to do. He would take me out to the place in a forest where he had a wooden board and would rape me in every way one could be raped. He would scare me and leave me out there to walk home alone at night. I never told anyone and no one ever asked where I was. He continued to kidnap me and rape me repeatedly. I went on until we moved away from the area. During that time my brother had a friend who would come over–he was a child, but would rape me whenever he could. He would spend the night and end up in my bed… Continue reading »

I Thought He Loved Me

I don’t know how to start this… Well, I had a horrible teenage life getting bullied…and all I ever wanted was love and to be wanted. I would try to fit in, but I would attract the people that would see me as an easy target. I got raped by two guys that were in year 12. I was only 13. This was in 2010. Time went by and I had to get myself out of Goolwa Beach. I felt like I was only wasting away in my bedroom. Once I got out of there, I moved around to find myself. Things looked positive. In 2014, I went online not looking for a boyfriend, just someone to talk to. I came across a guy and we had, what I thought was, a big connection. We talked for over three months. He then came to Perth to meet me. I hadn’t ever felt so excited because… Continue reading »