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Stayed Silence

We were close friends. I never thought this could happen to me, but I was wrong. We were hanging out one day. We decide to go to his house, he stayed he need help with homework and I agree and I went. Everything was calm and normal. Out of nowhere he started to touch me. I told him to stop. I notice he wasn’t acting the same. There was something off about him. I ask him if he was okay and he said yeah. He grabbed my arm hard and I was freaking out. He started to kiss me and I told him to stop but he didn’t. I remember everything he did. He forces me to have sex with him and if I didn’t he would tell our friend and his friend he slept with me and make rumor up and I didn’t want people to know what happen. Everything he ask, he would… Continue reading »

Dee Bhagwanji

When we lived in Tooting, England we were all happy. I was such a nerd because I hated weekends because that meant no school!! Everything was good until one day something changed. I just remember one of the people I called uncle, pulled out his thing and asked me if I wanted to touch it. I don’t remember anything after that. I just know that what he did was wrong!! My mum doesn’t know and she will never know. I haven’t confronted him, because his son is my brother. I love him and I wouldn’t want to hurt him. EVER!! Sam, Sags and Yags are my brothers and I still feel close to them even though we’re thousands of miles apart. However, when I saw this person in London I felt physically sick and immediately had a panic attack. Jamie took me outside and calmed me down. That’s the beginning. Then things got worse. We… Continue reading »

Am i being raped?

My married was in trouble.. When my high school friend asked me to meet him, i agreed. We talked, went for beers and he brought me to some club and he end up holding my hands and hug me and drive me home. Tried to kiss me but i pulled him away because i stil can think clearly. I felt happy, guilty being wanted which i didnt feel for a quite long time. So the next day when he asked to see me again, i agreed. We went to his apartment but all i wanted to do is to be with him, nothing more. Then he started to kiss me, and ask for sex. I told him no because i have a husband. One thing led to another and all of the sudden he started to undress me.. My lips said no repeatedly but i did nothing. And we did it. My mind messed up… Continue reading »

I didn’t enderstand what was happening

When I was 5 I was sexually abused by a son of a friend of the family. He was around 15. I barely remember the details of what happened and of what I remember no evidence to convict the young man with. It was around 6 and the sun had begun to go down and I was staying at the family friends’ house for the day and his parents decided to go inside as it was getting late and he and I stayed playing in the front yard. I remember he tackled me and told me to be quiet and that he would beat me up if I told anyone. I didn’t tell anyone until I was 10 and realized how wrong what happened was. — Survivor, age 17

Nothing for Nothing

My mother remarried. I never liked him. He installed new security systems, smoke alarms, carbon monoxide alarms, clocks, and thermostats, in every room, including the bathrooms and garage. I felt like he was watching 24/7. I started making some money, babysitting and cleaning, and sometimes I needed a ride to where the bus didn’t go. He picked me up, but he wanted a share. I needed all I had made, he had another plan. He parked. I mean found an isolated area, and started kissing me. Then hard kissing with tongues. He felt me up, and had me feel him. I felt like a hooker, except that he would want more from that. Whenever I needed more cash, he would take me out in the car. My mother had to stop my allowance to go to bills, and he was there to drive me once a week, and I would keep my allowance. I needed… Continue reading »

Happy Birthday

I just turned 21 and i had my cousins car and my best friend was my D.D. we had lunch and i had my first legal drink and i also got a free drink from starbucks what a great start right. Im in college away from home so i kinda depended on her to find fun stuff to do. Iv’e probably been drinking since 2pm but thats still no excuse. So fast forward half a bottle of crown, tequila, and two shots of vodka later i found myself in a motel room with a blunt to lips as i normally par-toke in. Next thing i remember is a phone ringing and hands on my breast. I could barely move talk or keep my eyes open. a part of me wanted to just close my eyes because i thought i was just having a real crazy dream until i tried to lift myself up and felt… Continue reading »

A letter to him

Dear my first boyfriend, I know you probably still don’t, and never will, understand just what you did to me. How you destroyed me. I bet you still don’t really understand what happened, why you were wrong, let me explain. I came to your house upset and vulnerable after a row with my parents. We were cuddled on the sofa watching Romeo and Juliet, something I haven’t been able to watch since. When all of a sudden your hand was in my underwear. This wasn’t the first time this had happened, the first time I didn’t say no, I let you persuade me. It kept me up for hours, how I should have been more clear, how I wasn’t going to let that happen again. So this time, I said no, firmly and simply, you kept going, I said no again and started trying to pull your hand away from my dry as bones pussy,… Continue reading »

Why me?

It seems surreal to be putting my nightmare into sentences. It almost feels that words can’t sum up how I feel. He was my ex. We were both 16, in high school and finishing exams. He said he respected the fact I didn’t want to have sex. Throughout our relationship he would do things I didn’t want to e.g touching, fingering. He would convince me that it was fine as we weren’t having sex, it was ok because he was doing it for me, it didn’t matter that it hurt, or that I felt uncomfortable because he loved me. I eventually broke up with him because I always secretly knew it wasn’t right. I remained friends with him during the remaining school year. Exams had finally finished and our friends had arranged a party on the beach to celebrate. He asked if I wanted to hang out at his house before we went to the… Continue reading »

I want to Call it what it IS!

I am a Business Major at a prestigious University in Eastern Pennsylvania. I do drink, not usually too heavy, and only on the weekend. This weekend, I had a mixed drink that was stronger than it seemed. I went over my, I thought, friend’s apartment, and had a beer to get the taste out of my mouth. I collapsed on the couch, unfortunately, I didn’t pass out. He took my clothes off. As he did, I couldn’t stand up, and all I could think of was say “NO” over and over. He did not “Take Advantage” That sounds like a foxy business deal! “Against my Will” sounds like I was Waffling. Did he Talk me Into it? It was Rape. He Raped me, because I was too drunk to resist. Not only did I not Consent, he Raped me while I said NO. He held me down the whole time and Raped me. He listened… Continue reading »

Confused for Too Long

So many stories here have helped me to feel okay, so I figured I would give back in hopes that my story might comfort someone else who may have experienced something similar. I was raped when I was 17 on a family vacation, and for 8 years of my life I blamed myself. At the time I had a boyfriend, who I am still with today 10 years later and we are now engaged. However, for 8 years I did not tell him, or anyone what happened to me. I hid it in the back of my mind and often times pretended like it didn’t even happen, like it was some sort of weird bad dream. But as I started getting older, and thinking about marriage with the love of my life, I had to tell him what happened so many years ago. It went down like this: When I was on vacation with my… Continue reading »