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Sexual Assault

I had been off and on with this guy for about a year. He was my best friend, I loved him, and used to be one of the most important people in my life. We had broken up after about a 4 month span of trying to date, but decided to still remain friends because we had always been friends. I should’ve known that he wasn’t respectful of me when we would be in a room alone together and he would continuously put his hands all over me and I would physically have to remove them and say “no” over and over again. I just thought he missed me. Later on, we were studying and I spent the night at his place. The neighbors were having a party next door so the couch in the living room was surrounded by loud noise, so we decided to sleep in the same bed, no touching stated before… Continue reading »

Abused By A Therapist

I started seeing a psychologist at the Flexman Clinic at the age of seven to be tested for Autism Spectrum Disorder, which I was soon diagnosed with, in addition to OCD and ADHD. I started seeing either a therapist or another psychologist (I don’t remember which) soon after and at the same location. I don’t remember her name, but I remember her face and her bushy, dry hair almost as clearly as I remember her hands: wrinkled and tipped with red acrylic nails. Those images are burned into my mind now. On my second visit with her, the first without my parents, we started playing a board game. After we rolled the dice and our little marker travelled up spaces, the color of the space would tell us what color card to pick. After she pulled the card, she would ask me a question, which I suppose was written on the card. The first few… Continue reading »

Incest

From the time I was very little my own father was a sexual predator in my life and my sister. I am sure my mother and my step mother knew how he was and just buried their heads in the sand. I wonder how many mothers just keep silent when they know they are married to a monster. Somehow I think this is all too common in our world. How many fathers, uncles, brothers, cousins, etc. are getting away with this horrific behavior and families just don’t want to expose it. If your own mother doesn’t stop this from happening to you, how can you grow up thinking that anyone else is going to protect you. You just accept that this is the way things are. My father is still living, as far as I know, and lived his whole life without being punished for his awful behavior towards all the women in his life…. Continue reading »

Drunken rape

When I decided to get drunk for the first time ( my first semester in college), I tried to be wise and have friends watch over me. A male friend from my dorm offered to be my “guardian angel” for the night and make sure I didn’t get into too much trouble. I drank…a lot – everclear and 151 in large quantities. I’m guessing I had more than ten shots in a fairly short time. My memory of the night ends fairly early and I’ve had to piece it together from others’ accounts. I woke up the next morning naked in my “guardian angel’s” bed next to him and found a full condom inside of me. I was furious with him and I was quick to cry fowl (and rape though I felt uncomfortable with the term). He was drunk as well so he wasn’t entirely sure what happened either but he agreed that he… Continue reading »

I Never understood

When I was about 9, my older brother had a close friend who’d spend most of his days with us , he was older than me, I believe 14, and one of these days, I had come home from dance class, my mom wasn’t home, my brother was out and his friend was home alone . I had come home by my school bus and layed down on my couch to watch some TV , and he offered me a foot massage. I agreed, he was like a brother, and my feet always hurt after dance class. I don’t know when, but I had fallen asleep, and when I woke up , he was touching me in places I knew I wasn’t supposed to be touched. I didn’t think he realized I was awake until I shuffled to my feet and got up, he acted as if nothing happened, and as I was rather young,… Continue reading »

Date gone wrong

I met this guy on tinder. we texted back and forth and flirted for a few days. After two weeks of doing that, we finally made plans to meet up and watch a movie. I felt comfortable inviting him over because I knew my roommates would be home and i live in a gated community with really strict security. We agreed we would watch a movie but i was open to the idea of doing more. I had 2 beers while we hung out and watched Netflix. We talked, laughed and got to know each other, it was all going very well. We started making out and i noticed things might be going further. I was ok with having sex, and i told him where to get the condom. When we started having sex, he was wearing a condom but by the time it was over he wasn’t. I looked at him horrified, and he… Continue reading »

Sexual assault from my step brother and cousin

Around age 6, I began trying to please my stepbrother. He was a year older than me and he and my cousin were always treated like angels despite being terribly mean to me. All I wanted was their respect and friendship. It began as innocent, games in the room we shared of him looking at my body or touching my body, curiosity mostly. I supposed when it began I didn’t mind. But I couldn’t find a way out. I was stuck trying to make everyone happy and do what I thought I had to. But alas, 4 years later I was still being touched and prodded at, forced to touch his penis and let him rub his dick on me. At 9 a more traumatic innocent occurred that screwed my whole life. While the abuse was terrible before then, it never seemed scary. It became an obligation and I hated it, it made me sick… Continue reading »

I don’t know what to call it…

Cut right to the chase. When I was in high school, my boyfriend and I were not sexually active. We would just spend a few hours in the back of my car fooling around after going out. Once we got to where he would finger me, I felt incredibly uncomfortable and wanted him to stop. I did not tell him to because I was terrified what might happen. After this instance, I became uneasy with any sort of touching from him. But I never told him to stop, I just took it thinking it was no big deal. I got to the point where I was scared to talk to him or be around him and broke up with him a few weeks later. It wasn’t until now, in college, that I knew this event had an effect on my current relationships. I cannot be intimate with my current, loving and supportive, boyfriend without having… Continue reading »

Scar

I trusted a lot of people, never in my mind, I thought they will harm me, but I was wrong. I was hurt in a lot of ways. My boyfriend at that moment, he was sweet at first but everything changes the longer we were together. He never likes it when I was with my friend, he was always jealous. We argue so much, once I told him that if he doesn’t change I will leave. That got him more, He was heated. I just remember feeling my face burning. He burns me and kisses me and I push him. I didn’t know what to do but walk away. The next couple of days I wasn’t texting him as much. He asks me if I can go to his house so we can talk and hang out. I said it was fine, I will after school. So, I went, it was just us, we always… Continue reading »

Too Many Times

I was raped when I was a kid. My dad is an alcoholic, my mom abandoned us for England. She tries to say that they didn’t, but she did. So where I was living, I pretty much didn’t have any parents, and these two men decided to use me. I was 6, and 7. The abuse kept happening. They kept engaging with me and raping me, it became routine after a certain point. It happened 10, 20, 30 times. I don’t remember how many times. I started having memories of it again, last year when I was 15, as I had repressed them for awhile. It was terrifying, realizing that I was a victim. I question if my memories are even real, but they feel so real when the flashbacks come, and I can’t think of anything but their hands on me, and their manipulation. It sickens me that I was abused. I wonder where… Continue reading »