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Young and dumb?

Now that I am a mother of a teenage daughter I realize that my assault wasn’t just because I was young and dumb. For years I blamed myself for drinking with those guys I hardly knew, and when it happened to my daughter I caught myself thinking “How dumb of her”. But after going thru this with her I realize that it was not our fault for letting our guard down. Even though we were questioned over and over again about her intentions before going out, and hearing them say “Why did you drink so much”. It was not our fault, we were not young and dumb. We were doing normal teenage things, unfortunately around people who were not taught to respect women. I never told my story until the day she told me it was her fault. Her and I have a very strong relationship and have been there to help each other heal…. Continue reading »

‘Were you drinking?’

Why is it every question people start with when you say you were raped is ‘Were you drinking?’? Yes. I was drinking. Does that make me any less of a human being? Does that make me a willing participant to such an act? I shared my story with one person, a friend when we were drunk. I know they remember, but now we don’t talk about it. And that almost makes it worse than not telling anyone at all. My flatmates, they know something happened that night. They tucked me into bed and lay beside me until I’d fallen asleep, and the next day when the tears finally came. They didn’t push me to talk about it. But now I can’t talk about it. It seems almost too late. Something you need to know about me- I befriend everyone on a night out. It’s as though alcohol turns my usual empathetic nature onto hyper alert…. Continue reading »

My story

I was conceived from rape my dad was taught women are property of the husband ,and he was also taught that it’s in the Bible to rape his wife , after I was born I was molested at 6 months by my bro in law who continued to molest me until nine years old , I was also raped and molested by my bro ,and old sis , this continued into my 20’s , I was told men have the right to rape it’s their need , I was also told there nothing I could do about it sense my parents claimed it was their religion , to believe that I was property and that I was subsquented to anything they do to me until I was 18 , I had to teach them that is wrong and it’s abuse ,but sadly they didn’t listen , they pimp me out for food ,drugs ,clothes ,… Continue reading »

Healing takes time

Everything started of age 7 and lasted up to when I had turned 12. It’s a hard thing to talk about now that I look back at it, but if I learned one thing, it’s that releasing all that negativity helps spread light into oneself. At such a young age, something so precious from me was stolen, my innocence. My grandfather used to touch me inappropriately and tell me things I didn’t want to hear. He’d make me touch him in places. He’d reveal things that should not have been told to a child. One day I had enough and told my family about it, it was a long time before I had told anyone, but we decided not to press charges due to the illness my grandma was suffering at the time. That was the last time I had talked about that subject since it made me feel uncomfortable. My mother mentioned that he’d… Continue reading »

Frozen

I went to a guys house who I had mutual friends with while my mom was out of town. He picked me up and we went to his house and played pool and talked. While I came over to just hangout and have fun it was summer. We went to his room and watch tv we both were laying together and just on our phones. Until Jen asks me “can this be our little secret” and in my head I’m thinking he doesn’t want anyone to know that Jen hung out with me. And I was curious as to why. We started making out which I was okay with and he started fingering me. (Before this I had only kissed a boy). He was kissing my neck and went lower and tried to unzip my shorts I just pulled his face to mine to show him I had no interest in anything more. He pined… Continue reading »

Feels like i am drowning

My first encounter with anything sexual was at 7 when an older guy i used to play with india pinned me to a wall and kissed me. I didn’t really understand what as going on but i felt disgusted by his actions. A year later i moved to a different town and there was this older neighbor uncle who groped my boobs (didn’t even have any at this point) while we were playing cards. Again it was disgusting to me but no one seemed to notice. I had developed anorexia at this point but no one really noticed. I moved to USA with my family at 12 and my cousin (who was 17) started molesting me, it lasted for 2-3 years. He used to live right next door and came over all the time because our grandparents lived with my family. He used to touch me everywhere, kissed me on the mouth and made me… Continue reading »

Molest

Hey, guys. So, yeah… I’ve been keeping these feelings of anger and betrayal in for too long, and I’ve decided to finally share my story. Since a very young age, my parents taught me that my (woman part) is mine, and no one should ever get to touch it WITHOUT my consent. So, I guess I knew it was wrong, but sadly when you’re that young, you don’t really know what the meaning of the word ‘molest’ is. So, I remember I was 6 at the time and my mom’s work friend/ best friend offered to look after someone’s house while they were away, and we slept over with her at the house. Unfortunately her (at that time) boyfriend decided to tag along as well… So we went out to visit their friends as we were looking after the house and I remember at that time I used to have a favorite blanket that had… Continue reading »

She sent a Warning, and Paid for it

I came back to the apartment late from work, and my roommate was standing there. She was sweating, and shaking, and looked scary nervous. Visions of my mom telling me I was going to invite an axe murderer in came to mind. Her hands were twitching at her belt(why comes later), and then she gripped her shirt and waved her fist around her throat, claiming she was feeling like she was going to get sick. She flattened her hand like she was angry, and pointed towards me ordering me to just leave her alone. At this point I recognized she was using ASL(American Sign Language) for Danger then Run, and later found she was signing R, U, N at her belt. I turned for the door, and a man in a mask burst out of the closet! I got stuck at the door, because I locked the bolt verses an intruder! He grabbed me, with… Continue reading »

I was assaulted twice at the same party

I had just returned from a year of studying abroad, so my 3 best friends decided to throw a small party for me. I had just turned 17. It was a small party for close friends, and the cousin and a couple of his friends of my best friend. Through the night, I got quite drunk. I don’t remember how it happended, but I somehow ended up in a locked bedroom with a friend of the cousin (so I didn’t know the guy). He told me the others had locked us inside. I believed him, since I was quite drunk. I laid down on the bed, I told him, that I was just gonna sleep until they’d lock us out again. He didn’t listen. He started touching and kissing me, even though I kept saying I wanted to sleep. Then he fingered me. It hurt, and it wasn’t pleasurable at all. I didn’t do anything…. Continue reading »

All men are the same

I’m 16 now and it all started when I was 4/5 My dad passed out when I was 4 and my mom start working.I was young and can’t take care of myself therefore my mom always take me at work with her.There was a man at my mom workplace who act really nice with me but when my mom was not around He touch my private part, I was young at that time and don’t have any idea of these type of things..Later my mom marry a man,He was really nice and loving. My mom’s brother also started to live with us And He always make me lay on him and touch me or make me touch his private part ..That time I still don’t have any idea..Later my dear brother born but my step dad leaves us because of an other lady and my mom start to work and My mom’s brother also move… Continue reading »