Everyone thought that I was going through a bad breakup. And for a long time, I made myself believe it too. It was like losing a piece of my voice, my life, my skin, my heart, my soul. My mind became a place of torment that I could never escape. I couldn’t look at myself without feeling repulsed, I couldn’t think without my mind slipping deeper into a dark hole, and I couldn’t close my eyes without seeing him, without seeing us, without hearing the sound of my own voice begging for him to stop as I laid beneath him…my pleading was always met with silence. Could he hear me? Dark. That was the only word I could think of to describe the relationship that I entered into my sophomore year of college. I was in over my head dating a guy who was a few years older than me. He pursued me, romanced me,… Continue reading »
Why Me?
When I was 15, my boyfriend asked me if we could have sex or any sexual contact, I said no I wasn’t ready. We had been dating for 2 months. 2 nights after he asked me, he took me out to see a movie. We sat in the back and he put his arm around me. Half way through the movie he put his hand on my thigh and started moving upwards toward my private area. I moved my hand and told him to stop. He did, but only for a few seconds. He then tried to stick his hand up my bra. I moved his hand and got up, walked away. I left the theater in hopes of never seeing him the rest of the night. I was wrong. A quarter of the way to my house, he drove by me. He apologized and wanted to have me sleep over his house, I thought… Continue reading »
My Oldest Friend
The summer before my junior year of high school is something I would never, ever relive. In three months my parents divorced, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years because cheated on me with another guy ( I would later find out he had been doing it for months), my oldest sister tried to kill herself, and I was almost raped my my best friend. I had been friends with Him for six years that summer. He and I had trained in karate together, and that’s where our friendship began. While now I can’t even stand the thought of seeing Him, I remember I loved Him very much. He was like my brother, and was the truest person in my life. However, while He was a very good person towards me, to others…well…He was a dick. He cheated on the countless girlfriends He had, and treated everyone like they were below him. His… Continue reading »
A Meek Young Girl
I was 17 at the time and my attacker was 16. We started dating in October. We were dating and everything was going great through our relationship. 2 months into our relationship his friends made fun of him by saying how I wasn’t a virgin and he was and that he should have already had sex with me. I did not want to have sex yet. I was not ready even though I wasn’t a virgin I only had sex one time. He told me that he wanted to have sex and I kept saying I wasn’t ready and from then on I froze up and tried blanking out, but I remember the details. On top of me smiling, saying that I wanted it when I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid. I was 4’11 weighing 107 pounds and he was at least 5’10 weight 200 and… Continue reading »
Colored Hair and Diamond Tattoo
Where do I begin. This is not my story anymore. It’s hers. Or not. It’s mine. Twenty years ago I was 13 years old. 13 years but looked like 10 years. I was already in a difficult situation when I met him. My mother had cancer and I was terrified that she would die. So when he appeared as an unexpected listeners so I was grateful. He was almost 30 years old and my tennis coach. Imagine the gratitude I could had for him today if he had not ruined everything. Anyway. He was told everything! Everything I shared with me. About my mom, about bullies at school and that I didn’t felt at home anywhere. He offered me a job as a cleaner in a factory. Respect of which the 13-year-old does not want to make money in as simple a manner as to wash and scrub! And that was where he raped me… Continue reading »
My Nightmare
This is me, I’m 17 years old, a girl. I saw Brave Miss World today, and I don’t know why, I kind of just got drawn to it. The strange thing is that after what happened to me I haven’t exactly had so many feelings in me than anger and uncertainty. But this really made me cry, like I haven’t done in a long long time. Thank you, for having somewhere where I could hear others talk about their story. It really helped. It’s been two years since I got raped. I was at a political summer camp when it happened. My life had been and was about politics since I turned twelve years old. This summer camp was a new one, with different and some of the same people I had been with before. I was actually having the time of my life and one man I really looked up to was there. He… Continue reading »
The Woods Don’t Speak
So this happened to me a week ago.This boy I liked seem real nice everything I wanted so my friend got us to gather. I’m 15. He is 16. So he would tell me everyday how pretty I am and how pretty my eyes are and at first I was thought it was sweet. Until he started to get very aggressive and it started to scare me. So I deleted his number and blocked him this all happen in one day. The next day I seen him in school at the end of the day and he pulled me a side and said “bitch you fucked up.” I was so scared but didn’t tell anyone Every Friday and Saturday I would go on a jog for soccer session. This Saturday, I ran and I stop because I heard this sound it was him he pulled me in to the woods “shhhhhh” he said than he… Continue reading »
My Story
One day I was walking down the street at about 5 P.M., 15 days after my 15th birthday. At the time, I was in Mexico. A man rushed down the street, looked at me frantically, and said, “You’re in danger. Please come with me.” I followed him and eventually we got into his car. We drove for a while. When I asked him what was the danger I was in, he said, “There are people following you.” Eventually, we arrived at a secluded ranch. We went inside and he told me to change into new clothes so that the people won’t recognize me. He led me into the basement and I went behind a set of foldable walls, where there were clothes that looked about my size. I stripped off my shirt and bra, and was about to put on a new shirt when he came around and picked me up. I pounded on him… Continue reading »
Who is Responsible?
On the night of my 14th birthday I went out with a few friends. We ended up going to a restaurant. The table in front of us was empty for 5 minutes. Next, there’s a man with dark hair, glasses, and comfortable clothes on. He sits there and stares straight at me. I tell my friends that we should go home because our parents would get worried. We payed the waitress in cash and left Of course we didn’t have cars, so we walked. I decided I needed to clear my head, I walked off to take the shorter way home. The next thing I know, I see that same guy that was at the restaurant. I pass him and he turns around. Next thing I knew, I was pulled into his white van. There was a mattress in the back. He tied me down, went to the front of the car and drove to… Continue reading »
Becoming Whole
I was 3 years old the first time I was molested. The molestation/rape went on for almost 15 years old; involving dozen’s of men, dozen’s of times, I was prostituted by my grandfather for almost 6 years. I was brutalized and tortured. I was again raped when I was 21 by a very close friend. I had been so conditioned that I deserved whatever I got. I did somethings to antagonize him. I grew up as I was raped being told that was why I was created. That pleasing men was why I was born. That my purpose in life was to please men sexually and do whatever I was told. I have been working through all the issues that come with being raped. I had a self hatred and would harm myself physically. I would hide in the clothes that I wore being very sedate, and clothes that were of women much older than… Continue reading »