I was 14 years old spending the night with a friend, for the sole purpose of being in the same house as her older brother who I thought was cute. I knew my mom didn’t want me to spend the night at this family’s home, so my friend and I devised a plan and manipulated the situation. I would consider my experience to be a date rape, and I never told anyone until 20 years afterwards. I started speaking about this horrible experience on mission trips overseas. Then, to small groups of couples along with my husband. Then, I started hosting women’s conferences and sharing my story. I find freedom through my faith and my relationship with God. And through my transparency I have discovered that others will share their experiences and healing of the soul-the mind, the will and the emotions can begin.
On day at my grandmother’s home, my step cousin and I were going to take a shower together, as most cousins our age did…only he was about 12 and I was 4. In the bathroom he told me to take off my clothes and after I had done so, he held me by my arms and he told me to turn around and face the wall. I asked him, “What are you doing?” He told me just to shut up and face the wall. As he did this, he started to insert his penis into me. Thankfully, by whatever grace of God, I had enough courage and strength to push myself away and get out of the bathroom. My parents don’t know this. This haunts me almost every day of my life. I am now 28.
I was living in a desolate part of Seoul. It was my second time around. I knew the contract was sketchy, and, admittedly, I pretended I’d never been there before. They told me I was living in a officetel in a building in Dongdaemun. When I arrived, it was a graying stump of a construct, and if I had been new to Korea, I would have left. A gaggle of panicky women arrived with a set of sheets and no idea why I didn’t have a cell phone. This was back before cell phones had affordable international plans. I worked illegally at a daycare. I gave them my papers and they continually assured me they were being processed. One day they sent me to Japan for re-entry and I knew my papers had not been processed. I had no working visa. The chronology is an odd thing. I don’t know when what happened exactly. I… Continue reading »
I could write a novel with the sexual harassment and mental and physical abuse i have survived in my lifetime. Yet i will stick to the worse three sexual assaults.. I was brought up in a very religious home. Not so much *the good type* of religion, yet the type where it is a man dominated atmosphere and the women must be submissive. Where the human body is taboo and intercourse is only for once you are married. I was a good daughter. I did my best to make my parents proud in any way that I could. I had the notion in my head since i was young that I would save myself for marriage. I was always teased for being a virgin yet I was strong and courageous back then, nobodies opinion about me ever seemed to bother me. I believed man kind was good, evil only existed if we believed it were… Continue reading »
I am in my 40’s now, but I feel like a huge part of me is still stuck in the past! Every time something starts to go well in my life, I have a way of messing it up. I feel socially awkward, so I spend a lot of time alone. I often wonder if it is because of what happened in my past. At age 11, my parents split up, causing my mother to take myself and my two brothers to live with people I had never before met. I hated living there, and I felt very uncomfortable and frightened all of the time. There was a man there who used to try and get me alone, so I always stayed close to my brothers. One day he asked my mother if I could go to the grocery store with him. I looked at her with terror in my eyes, silently pleading that she… Continue reading »
I stare at this blank page trying to figure out what to write… I had been raped and sodomized several times by my children’s father, my husband. We got together in October 1999 and the first rape was in 2001 after our first child was born. My second child was a product of him raping me. The rapes went on for years, as well as emotional, physical, and mental abuse. The last rape was towards the end of 2003. He got 3-4 months in jail.
You are fearless – even when vulnerable. My story is different. I don’t know what is considered “rape” – my grandfather never inserted his penis inside me, but he licked me, touched me and massaged me. It was rape in my mind. He also raped my mind as he convinced me I liked it and was helping solve a great science mystery. I was 10. Unlike you, I turned to promiscuity and drinking as a teen. In college I met a guy and became very close. He was the first person I told about my grandfather. He uses it against me when I wanted to break up and told my parents. Nothing was done. I was sent back to law school and told to keep my head high. My grandfather dies, I don’t go to the funeral. He probably doesn’t know. The most devastating day. I am reading Little Women. My grandfather walks in. I… Continue reading »
I just watched the Brave Miss World on Netflix. I was raped four times by four different men when I was between the ages of 16 and 22. I am now 44. I thought I was over all of it. The documentary showed me just how NOT over it I am. These situations have wreaked havoc on my entire life without me realizing it. And even though I know in my mind I was raped, in my heart I blame myself. The sad part is that when I first logged on to this site, I saw the link to the Facebook page. My first thought was, “I’d like to join that page.” Followed immediately by my second thought, “I can’t do that because then everyone will know I was raped.” I’m terrified to even hit the submit button to share this little bit. I guess if you get this, I will have been successful in submitting… Continue reading »
I just saw the documentary and can’t stop crying… I was molested as a child by a driver who worked for my family. He would run errands for my grandmother and I would come along (I was 6 or 7) because I loved the car ride. One night he parked in a deserted area opened his pants and told me to sniff his stomach. I remembered seeing his underwear… him telling me not to say anything… and not much else. I think it happened one more time. I didn’t tell anyone (to this day I only told a couple of people, but no one in my family). This man soon disappeared from our lives. I don’t know why. A few years later I heard he died. He was robbed and killed while working. I remember thinking that justice was done. I sort of put this event behind me, and believe it didn’t affect me so… Continue reading »
I was in grade nine when I lost something that can never be returned. I just want to make it clear that I do not want anyone’s pity, or empathy. I don’t want people to say “that poor girl how could someone do something like that to her?” What’s done is done. I’m now 17 years old. Grade nine was supposed to be a fresh start for me. I moved to a small town with my mother and brother. Everything was going good. I had many friends and I even found a boyfriend. He was kind and caring. He always put me first. He was also a quarterback on the high school’s football team. For once in my life I thought everything was falling into place. We had been dating for about a month. During that month I noticed that he started to change. He got really demanding and he hit me. He always threatened… Continue reading »