Having survived two childhood rapes and two violently sexist ex partners, I would suggest that the current system is totally set up to protect the perpetrators and is hugely biaised against the women and children that are assaulted by men and boys. I did speak out to friends at the time of my rapes when I was a child, but none of them seemed to believe me, even though one of my friends had been in the same bed when we were attacked together and I was digitally raped by four unknown boys. The thing that made me despair was that I was treated as a liar in this instance even though no one treated me as a liar in other circumstances and I couldn’t figure out why or what I’d done wrong in the situation to cause it. That shame and guilt stuck with me in two violent relationships where the guys lied and… Continue reading »
I do not know how to begin. I do not know, because these things aren’t talked about. There is no way to talk about them, so there is no way to start. But maybe starting at the beginning is best. It was a date. Not the first. He was charming, well-spoken. Complimentary, unusual. I told friends I was going on a date with a ‘wildcard’. He was quirky, intelligent, interesting. And interested in me. I liked him. I was flattered. He gave me a gift when we met. He held my hand, so tight. We had dinner, and I liked him still. I asked to go back to his place. I asked. He placed his arm around my shoulder as he walked me down the corridor, down another corridor, and another, a maze of corridors, to his apartment. He locked the door behind us, and took off my clothes, my glasses. And that is when… Continue reading »
As a child (3-7 years old) I was sexually, physically, mentally abused by my biological father. My mother didn’t believe me when I told her what had happened when it first happened so it continued until my grandmother beat it out of me. I don’t think she realised what she was getting into. She just hated me because he was also raping her, unbeknownst to anyone else, and I was his daughter (like father like daughter she thought.) After her beating she called the police and we were removed from his care and placed into a woman’s refuge until we were settled somewhere else (my mum, sister and brother.) I wanted to speak about as a healing process for me, my mum, nana and sister (and everyone else basically) thought it was best to keep quiet and forget about it. So I had my uncle who I could ask questions/talk to about it and he… Continue reading »
“When I was 11 my older brother started raping me, clearly my barely pubescent vagina was not sophisticated enough to know this was a legitimate rape, seeing as after a few months of abuse I became pregnant. This was in the late 80′s and the system of bullshit that I had to go through to be allowed an abortion was beyond any type of ignorance and discrimination I have yet to personally experience since. The ability for the medical and even social work community to make a child feel like a whore after she’s been mentally, physically, sexually and emotional abused was mind boggling. Eventually I got the abortion that I had to fight for. I’m not sure if I was the one statistical anomaly but 1 week later I started to bleed a lot. I was very poor and I couldn’t afford a cab or bus fare, so I walked myself down to the… Continue reading »
This has gone on for too many years, not only to women but men too. The shame and guilt and fear kept me quiet for over 40 years.I let myself down as well as others. How to heal and speak out is something i need in order too move on and live a happy life.. Only with the help of others and Gods Grace.. Thank You..
I was 16. He was a friend’s younger brother. I lived with the family off and on during high school to escape a bipolar and abusive mother. I can still hear him saying ‘who do you think they’ll believe…and then where will you live…?’ while he threw my clothes at me, letting me know I’d been dismissed. I felt like trash because I knew that he was right. They would never believe me — and I’d ruin my life if I ever breathed a word of it. In the almost 30 years since, I still can’t get that out of my head and it still brings tears to my eyes. That is the day I began just saying yes or acquiescing to things I didn’t want, because saying no doesn’t mean anything…a behavior and mind-set that burdens me to this day.
At 19, a young innocent, never even had a first date. I naively went to the motel room of a road construction worker I had gotten to know while working in the store in my tiny town. He would NOT take NO for answer – raped and lost my virginity in one fall swoop. Blamed my own stupidity did not even tell anyone for over 20 years. At 23, suppose to be a happy, fun weekend. Good friend getting married. Stayed at her parents’ house and her brother-in-law (sister’s husband) followed me into the bathroom at 2 AM and anally raped me. Then said “you don’t want to ruin the wedding so keep your mouth shut and no one will believe you anyway” – I kept quiet and didn’t even tell anyone for over 20 years. At 26, married an abusive man and left his sorry ass, less than 3 years later. My son was… Continue reading »
When I was 14 a man who was 21raped me. He was a “friend”. It wasn’t violent, he just wouldn’t stop, he told me not to tell my mom “what we” had been doing because it would just kill her and our church would be ashamed of me. I assumed it was my fault because I had a crush on him so I kept my mouth shut. Later, he came and got me and bought me a dress and took me to another town and I guess married me somehow. He took me home and told my mom we were married and then took me to Oklahoma City and kept me in an apartment for 41/2 months. No one knew where I was.
My father was the kind of dad that any kid would dream of most of the time. He played with my brothers and I. He would take us on hikes, throw us around in the pool, play baseball in the yard, croquet, take us to the movies, read us stories. Really, he seemed like an all American dad but then there was the other side to him. He was a drinker and a mean drunk. He was manipulative and violent. My brothers and I would sit along the couch as him and my mother would get in heated battles and he would hit her, threaten to kill her and himself. He started molesting me when I was four. I remember some of the times so vividly, the sights, the smells of the season, his words ingrained in my mind; other times are lost to me. My older brother was involved in some of the abuse… Continue reading »
I was something of a “wild child” in my teenage years. I grew up in the Los Angeles area and fell in love with live music at a very young age. My mom wouldn’t allow me to go out to any concerts, and we had a venue with lots of bands locally, so I started sneaking out of my house to go and see bands play. I should also mention that my body began to develop much earlier than many of my friends. I looked like I was about 17 or 18 at the age of 13 or 14. Men looked at me and treated me differently because of it. I was looked at as a woman when I was still very much a little girl. One night I had done my usual sneak out and headed to that local venue for some bands. Afterward I ended up at an after party with some friends… Continue reading »