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Initiation into adulthood

I was analy raped a week after my 21st birthday by someone I considered a friend and a friend of his. it happened in a hotel room after I accepted a lift but never got home. I remember pleading with them and asking them to stop. there were two of them and only one of me and in the end I could not fight them anymore. i remember my so called friend saying ‘this is what adults do, get used to it.’ this changed my life in so many ways as I was young and just starting out on my adult life and this happened. i spent 4 years fighting this in court and they both were found guilty of indecent assault and given 3 years house arrest. The added trauma came when the legal system let me down.

Nirbhaya “ fearless”: Justice for the Brutal Gang Rape of Jyoti Singh

Have no fear, justice is near, the verdict is clear. Don’t sentence the six men to death An act of freedom in a world gone mad. Sentence the six men to life And daily torture and pain Until they go insane. Castrate them Starve them and make them eat their own curried dicks. Tatoo them from head to toe with the name of the victim. On a leash walk the naked men through the streets of New Delhi Where a woman is raped every 14 hours Hang the six men in a public square Let carnivourous wild lions Pull them apart limb from limb and Feast on the remains until their Bones are bare, its only fair. Have no fear, justice is near, the verdict is clear.

How Brave Miss World Changed My Life

Brave Miss World was screened at my college’s annual film festival last year. I saw the film as a class requirement- I did not know much about it beforehand. The next 90 minutes or so changed my life. I was so deeply moved by Linor’s story. My heart was broken into a thousand pieces. All I wanted to do was help in some way, so I immediately returned to my dorm and donated money to the film. That was in February. Three months later, I was raped. It was strange- rape is something you often read about or hear about on the news, but you never think it will happen to you. But we are all equally vulnerable. It can happen to anyone. Bad things often happen to good people and there is no explanation. I was out with friends and excused myself to use the restroom. On my way back to our table, a… Continue reading »

The summer between 6th and 7th grade

When you are twelve and you are running away from rape, and you are dazzling drunk from drinking out of a red SOLO cup, the world spins and the floor comes up to greet you, gritting it’s sandpaper teeth against your ruddied cheek. You remember the way the fence feels that you lean against, when you’re thoughts aren’t connecting, when you can’t make tangible, this thing that just happened to you, because your mind is too young to agree with it. All of the boys think you’re easy, they know that you have no mother, your brothers run wild in the streets, your father is always working, so there’s no one to monitor you, discipline you. All the boys have to do is show you attention because they’ve heard it’s an easy in. You don’t know this because you’re twelve, because your mind doesn’t work that way, because you’ve just learned the benefits of having… Continue reading »

A familiar fight

Like Linor, I too am working to encourage victims to speak out and let the rapist be the only one ashamed. Ironically, I also made a documentary, “Miniskirts, Mace and Other Misconceptions” about my personal story and the way our culture treats victims of rape. I am working to educate society, empower victims and fight for justice. I have started a movement, the MMOM Movement and my story is best told on that website: I am so proud of all the women who are speaking out. Together, we are all challenging a world that permits victim blaming. One day, we will change it.

my story-and where i “took it”…

My story begins when I was 5 or 6…. my parents best friends had a son a few years older than me…. at some point he started molesting me… every time his parents came over or we went over to their house… it started out “easy”.. like he would only touch etc… but than at some poing he started using objects …. i remember i used to watch the floor and pretend all the shapes on it were animals (i was mostly on my stomach)… one day.. my brother came in and “caught us”… he was not all that older than me…. about 2 and a half years… and instead of saying something… he just thought it was a “nice game” and started doing the same…. it went on like that till i was about 12.. and it gradually stoped… no specific reason….than i was blessed with a whole 3 years of freedom…when i was… Continue reading »

Different face, but the same monster

It started when I was 5…he was a trusted friend of a neighbors family…I can still remember his smell, some 20 years later…’If you tell anyone that I touch you, I’ll hurt you’ he would say, and then throw me to the ground and walk away…fast forward 10 years, same monster but a different face…drunk at a friends house…the room spinning, the taste of mexican brandy and pepsi on my tongue…I don’t even know his name…I begged him to stop, fighting and kicking under his weight, crushing me, gasping for air, trying as hard as I could to keep his penis from entering me…not another violation…not again…walking home, crying…another few years go by, and I met the ‘one’…he never hit me at first, not until the week after I gave birth to my son…then the beatings began in earnest…after learning the hard way, after the hitting and punching and choking, I realized that resistance only… Continue reading »

Nothing important…

.. My first answer, when people asked what happened. I was raped at my 25th birthday in Hungary from one of the teachers who helped me with my diploma thesis and his friends, which I never met before. That was his birthday-present for me, beside the cake. I remember him saying “Ulrike I told you: You need a man, now you have a lot. Enjoy it. That’s your birthday-present…“ And then he said to the others which I had never seen before in Hungarian, “and that’s my present for you…“ That was, after he was finished with me, I think. He left me there alone with these animals. I also can remember the sound from laughing girls. This is one of the things which I still know, because I believe I was drugged by GHB or another ‘date rape’ drug. I also heard this from the police and from friends after I told my story…. Continue reading »


One evening in June about a year ago, I went to bed without checking my tempermental back door lock. I got into bed and heard a noise like a magazine falling to the floor….and attributed it to one of my many cats. One of my cats, Shanti raised her head and staired at the bedroom doorway. I disregarded her even when she began to growl. Finally after a few minutes I got up from my bed and put my bathrobe on. As I ventured into the hallway to prove to Shanti that nothing was wrong I saw the figure of a man at the other end of the hallway. He said to me ” I want you.” I couldn’t believe this was real as I also realized he was half naked from the waist down. I shouted ” Get out of my house!” He came towards me and I tried to run away but was… Continue reading »

He’s Dead

About a month ago I got a phone call from my brother. He told me that my ex-step dad, the man who molested me during my childhood, was dead, that he had died over a year ago, in October 2009. This day was one of the happiest days of my life. My brother forwarded me his obituary. It read that he was an avionics installer and expert, a U.S. Navy Veteran of the Vietnam War and a member of the Hopewell Baptist Church in Savannah, Tennessee. It read that he was married to a woman eighteen years ago. A woman was one of my mother’s best friends just twenty years ago. The obituary read that he was a disaster relief volunteer for Southern Baptist Convention, did local missions work and was active in Media Ministry at Hopewell Baptist Church. That’s funny, he was Catholic when he lived with us. Even then he was an active… Continue reading »