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Thank you for being LOUD!

I know it is hard to share this burden, to deal with it again and again, to listen to stories that are triggering of the PTSD and to try to help the whole world and feel overwhelmed. I hope you will give yourself a chance to take a break when needed, but also stay with this movement in the long run. The louder we speak out about what happened, and the more often, the more likely we are to be heard, and to be joined by others. I was molested by my own father for most of my life. He was a very violent man, and I knew I did not own anything in the house I grew up in – not even any part of my own body. I was his property, a slave for him to use in any way he wanted, to force to do things whenever he felt like it, to… Continue reading »

Multiple Times

Raped by a caregiver at 6 years old and then again after he was released from captivity. Second rape was also kidnapping and stabbing to punish me for telling the first time. I almost died. I blocked the trauma from my memory. My mother tried to get me help but when I became a teenager she called me Slut and told me I would one day remember why. I don’t speak to her anymore. Raped again at 19 while at university. Friends didn’t want to help me because they felt it was only date rape and maybe I just wanted attention. I gained weight to look unattractive so men would leave me alone. I hoped to find a man who would love me for me. Instead I was broken and alone for many years. I lost the weight to get healthy and tried to be conservative with my appearance but only found more abuse. Started… Continue reading »

Paris Nightmare

19, first night in Paris, met a handsome guy my age. Kissed at a nightclub, he gave me his number as I was traveling around France for the rest of the summer but would be passing through Paris on the way back. Ring me, he said. I was flattered. Also delighted to have some sort of summer romance however remote. I rang on my way back through Paris. Me and my friend met him and his friend. Ironically I wanted my friend to come along for security reasons, I was cautious at the time. We were brought to an apartment in Momartre or nearby (Babes Rochfort?). They said it was their apartment but I had the feeling it was not theirs or it was borrowed. They had made food. There was no bedroom but there was a mezzanine space with a bed, quite close to the ceiling. Loud music was put on. My friend and… Continue reading »

I Am Not Brave

It’s ruined my life and now I have multiple physical and mental conditions which have restricted my movement, motivation, and will to live. I now weigh almost 400 pounds and almost don’t care. I would end my life if I knew for sure I would not go to hell for it.

A Family Cycle

My name is Hannah, I am 31 now my molestation happened when I was 6 years old to 10. It might as well been rape cause the whole ordeal of what I went through felt like rape. My grandfather molested me. I remember. I know your story is different then mine but how I see it and God too we all have the same pain the same cry the same fears. What made it worse is that I tried telling my mom wich was her dad that victimized me, and she didn’t want to hear it or believe me, he also molested my cousin. My grandfather did more to her then me. She still to this day remembers going trough those painful day’s. Growing up I went through horrible times with my mom and her side of the family, instead of my having my mother for support I didn’t have no one I was alone… Continue reading »

I Was a Child

I am 53 years old. Almost exactly 40 years ago to the day, as a 13 year old girl, I was raped. I stayed silent for almost 15 years and have suffered far beyond that. This event so shaped my intimate relationships and therefore, my life. My story……..I was “older” than my age, having skipped a year in school and having a late birthday. That shouldn’t have mattered. Like the rebellious 13 year old I was, myself and my 2 closest girlfriends skipped school to “hang out” with these 3 older guys because one of my friends had a crush on one of the guys, Nick. We went to one of their apartments (they were 26 and 27 years old) and smoked pot and listened to music. One of my friends seemed to disappear while Nick then told me he wanted to show me the apartment. As we entered a bathroom, Nick threw me against… Continue reading »

My Daughter

My daughter was molested (8 yr old) one time by one of my brothers. God is so great that allow me to find out as soon as it happened. Soon after that we moved to US. In that week when happened I told my mother and she did not believed me, I told my dad he did not do anything and I did not want to expose my daughter to the police or government doctors examinations. So I didn’t do anything. I has been 22 years ago and it hurts like if was yesterday. Few years back living in US where you learn that you need to speak about it, I started to tell everyone in my family about what he did to my daughter. Few years ago I became a Christian believer but in my mind I have not been able to forgive him, I pretend he does not exist. We had a wonderful… Continue reading »

How My Life Has Changed

I have the most incredible respect for all of the victims who are speaking out. I am writing about my experience only because I CAN NOT IMAGINE what would have happened if I had not escaped my attacker, because…even though I escaped, my life has never been the same. I was sleeping in a hotel in Venezuela in 1985 and I was jumped while in bed by a very large man. I had seen him in the hotel earlier and refused to go out with him. It was new years eve. He covered my mouth and was on top of me. He said if I continued to yell that he would seriously hurt me more than he was. I forced myself to stop struggling and I said to him “why didn’t you tell me it was you ? I thought you were someone coming in here to kill me.” My entire body was shaking so… Continue reading »

Marital Rape

I myself experienced rape but it is a very different type and a very unique situation that made it hard for me to really know how to handle it at first. I was raped by my husband. It is one of those subjects that is a gray area where the lines are blurred. People think you are making it up or just exaggerating but it affected me. I had 2 young children and was always tired and began using sleeping pills to help me sleep. He felt rejected sexually because taking care of children made me too exhausted to have sex so instead of being told no he would wait for me to fall asleep and I would wake up to him having sex with me. The final straw came one night when I had gone out with some friends and we had a lot to drink. I came home and went to sleep. Passed… Continue reading »

Feeling Lost

Though at times I feel lost, I know now that I am not defeated. The first time I was assaulted I was only 4 years old. My dad’s best friend molested me. I only vaguely remember what happened, but remember how I felt more than anything. I recall feeling confused and dirty, and I think I blocked most of it out. I never told my parents about it, even after Gary died of a heart attack. I fear that they will blame themselves. My second incident was when my sister invited two guys she recently met to our apartment. We were all drinking when I guess I had too much. My sister stripped me and put me in the bathtub so that I could sober up. I couldn’t even move my arms. We only had one bathroom, so every time one of the guys would use the bathroom, they would touch me. My sister and… Continue reading »