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Unknown Abuse by Biological Father

I was 3, and the abuse went on for a few months. I’m 16 now and the only details I know are from papers that were used in court. My mom protected me, and got a restraining order. He was mine and my brother’s biological father, not my sister’s. He touched her too, but not as much, this stopped after one occasion, and she controlled the situation. I was too young to defend myself, and he manipulated me into thinking it was how he showed me, he loved me. I didn’t know, I was abused until my family told me, I just thought my PTSD, everyone had. It was and still is incredibly hard to process. I never got justice because the evidence wasn’t sustained so he doesn’t have to feel like it happened and I have to live with depression and anxiety etc… I recently read through all these papers, how he touched me,… Continue reading »

I should’ve tried harder to stop it

It was a year and 4 months ago, on my 16th birthday. I was at a house party of one of my good friends at the time and I was very, very drunk (how cliché of me)! When we first got there, our bags were put in a bedroom, so I assumed we were all sleeping in that room. Early into the morning, after drinking way too much, I went in to lie down. Turns out that was my friend’s brother’s room. He came in and I remember him closing the door. The rest of the night is kinda blurry and very dark and I remember it burned a lot and I could not wait for it to all be over. My friends didn’t understand and were very mad and decided to no longer speak to me. I was depressed for a few months about losing them. I felt like it was my fault for… Continue reading »

A super long account of a day i will never forget

On June 26th of this year, I went on what I had hoped to be a date with an older guy. I was 17 at the time, and he was 20 or 21 I believe. When he asked me to go out over the phone, he told me he’d buy me dinner- leading me to believe it was an actual date. I hadn’t been on a date in over a year at this time and even though we had only spoken over snapchat for 2 days, I went. He picked me up and took me to a park. We walked around for less than 10 mins as he took pictures of the sunset and talked about himself. After we got back in his car, he started making out with me and immediately grabbed my crotch. I was taken off guard, barely moving my mouth at all. He grabbed my hand and moved it to his… Continue reading »

I’m so sorry

I’ve never told anyone my story- I brushed it to the side, hoping I’d find strength in myself to forget. I have a little sister, she needs someone to look up to- It can’t be me when I’m suffering. This exact day a year ago, my life changed forever- I was raped from a boy at a nightclub in my own house. I have zero motivation to get out of bed today- what do i have to get out of bed for? My boyfriend cheated on me and left, my friends have all gone to uni and I was sexually assaulted at the age of 18. Nothing seemed to make me feel better- Suicidal thoughts came into mind, so i ran myself a bath and I lay there for 6 hours. I got out, proud I hadn’t damaged my skin and got back into my pajamas. When my sister came home, smiled at me and… Continue reading »

Childhood abuse and acquaintance rape

I wanted to mention my childhood abuse and acquaintance rape later on in the same story, believing that there is a strong connection between both. I will speculate on a subject some more as the story progresses. First that was my father, who used to tell me amazing bedtime stories after I would jump happily into my parents bed. This evening my mom was at work and I was ready for my fairy tale that turned out to be a nightmare hard for me to shake off 50 years later. Heavy, worm, sticky subject laying on my thigh. I can still pin point the exact place. Feeling of fear and confusion. Subconscious realization that something bad happened but not being able to deal with it being a child- loving and respectfully obedient to adults, to authority. Incomprehension, shame and fear of causing conflict between my parents stopped me from telling my mom. Similar situation happened… Continue reading »

Rape by Boyfriend

I never really told anyone the full extent of mine. I was in my first year of college and had severe body issues. I hated myself and was amazed when a couple of guys asked me out. I clicked with one guy and we started hanging out all the time. Before I really knew what was happening we were spending every day together. He made me feel so guilty for spending time with friends but refused to leave the dorm. I wound up sitting inside With him more often than not. I felt obligated to include him. He slowly started leeching his anger into my life. He told me my friends were all using me and would drop me so fast. “You’re beautiful but no one else wants you for anything but sex”, “You dont have any real friends but me”. It was highly damaging for someone who was already heavily depressed. Because of him… Continue reading »

Verbal Abuse and Attempted Rape – A Story by S.

You think you’ve found one of the most charming men you’ve ever met. He’s handsome and his initial personality will melt you. He wants to spend every single day with you, is very affectionate, gets you little gifts, sends you an adorable quote first thing every single morning along with telling you how beautiful you are, he’ll tell you that you make him the happiest he’s been in a long time, boasts about how different he is compared to other men, how he’s committed to you and only you, how he would never hurt you, how he wants to create a “dynasty” with you, is always boasting about how he is a gentleman, how good-looking he is, how good he is in bed, and how he likes to spoil his women. He’ll talk about how he “doesn’t tolerate disrespect towards women,” how he doesn’t like arguing, how secure he is, and if there was “ever… Continue reading »

Touched by my cousin

I was ten years old, my cousin was fourteen. I remember I was sleeping in his younger sisters room when he came in to see me. I remember waking up with his hand on my vagina and his tongue in my mouth. As soon as I woke up he had backed off. He told me he was looking for his DVD. I was in shock and just sat there. I couldn’t believe what had happened so I had no reply. He left the room and his younger sister was there laying beside me sleeping. For some reason I didn’t let it bother me and I went back to sleep. Later that night he came back in. He told me he wanted something from me. He was almost in tears. I knew what he wanted and I was scared. Luckily I told him that if he took a step nearer I’d scream. He left me. I… Continue reading »

Closure

I had been in love with this guy for almost a year at this time. I had never been in a relationship with him, but it was we were meeting atleast once a week, and being intimate. When we met I was a virgin at the time, and there were signs. He would try and put his hands in my underwear when I said no and continue, he’d then apologise after. A year into this ‘relationship’, there were two prominate times that hit me every now and then. The first time, we had an argument and he requested to talk to me in person but within 10 minutes of my arrival he had pinned me down, and ignored me as I begged for him to stop. He continued and raped me. After seeing me visibly upset, he told me he loved me. The second was not far from the first. We were together in bed,… Continue reading »

His opportunity

My boyfriend went to California for the weekend, and as soon as I arrived home from the airport, one of his coworkers arrived at the door. He pushed his way inside, and almost picked me up to carry to the bedroom. He forced me to engage in various sexual activities that I wish to leave my own bad memory. I was only happy to see that he left me alive, and relatively undamaged. — Jie, age 19