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“He can’t sexually assault you he’s Christian”

#metoo Christian women are sexually assaulted too. By Christian guys. But we’re not allowed to talk about it. In a culture where men are encouraged to watch porn, pursue women and expect that women want all they attention that they can get (and tell them to lighten up when they say otherwise), Christian men are “outsiders”. Not allowed to engage in this culture but are immersed in it. Christian women are not prepared to deal with the situations that they are so devastatingly put inside. Let me share my story. I am a Christian woman, and I started dating this guy when I was at College. On paper he was great. He was a Christian, we believed the same things, had the same vision for life and were easy friends. In a “why not give it a go?” kinda way we started dating. The abuse started so subtly that I didn’t notice it until I… Continue reading »

He did it again and again

I was 16 when I was raped, still a virgin. I was at school for an evening event and went to the bathroom. The hallways were dark as the event was out in the ground. When I came out of the bathroom, I was heading for the stairs when someone grabbed me from behind. He was a student and one of the hosts for the evening. He covered my mouth with his hand and took me into a dark classroom. I froze. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. He kept doing it. It hurt. It hurt a lot. He just left me there after. I went home that night and cried all night. I couldn’t tell anyone. I was helpless. That night still haunts me. I still haven’t told anyone. I’ve been carrying this burden for 6 years. — Survivor, age 22

My younger brother

I live at home with an alcoholic bipolar dad and my has lost all dignity and self-love. I moved away from my home because of my abusive father and our tenant would talk about how he wanted to be with a younger woman, and touch me inappropriately. My parents convinced me to come home, telling me they would kick him out and get me a lock on my door so my dad would not be allowed in my room if i did not want him to be. Ive always been a protective older sister to my younger brothers who are oblivious to how dysfunctional out family is. So when my little brother kept asking me every day to sleep in my bed (because his had trash on it from cleaning his room) i figired id just be giving him a safe place to fall asleep for a few days. I was awoken to him on… Continue reading »

#MeToo, too

I promised my friends I would share, but I’m not ready to come full out, and I hope everyone understands. I have been raped repeatedly since the age of 11 by a family member. He has been gentle, but I feel wrong. He got me pregnant on 2 occasions and had me abort. It was a regular thing until I moved out after college. He continues to insist on it into my adulthood, but I am better at avoiding situations where we are alone. He managed it a few weeks ago. My mother doesn’t know, and I am ashamed of being used. Only my closest friends know until today, and they want me to come out for #MeToo, but I’m not Ready, Please? — Survivor, age 25

Rape in supported accomodation

I’ve years ago I was 19 struggling with mental health issues including bulimia. After a long hospital admission I was offered to live in supported accommodation, facilitated by mental health workers. It was in this house, a house I was supposed to feel safe in, I was raped. I was feeling sucidal the night it happened, I had been battling with suicidal ideation and self-harm thoughts from 14 years old. A friend who I shared the house with had a friend of his over that night. I had met this man twice before and felt intimidated by him. He was 40. He knocked on my door, at this point everything becomes fragmented. I was engaging in self harm and embarrassed to let him in, but he push opens my door. I am drinking alcohol. I nurse my cuts and we both sit in the floor drinking. I dissociate and one minute everything is pitch black… Continue reading »

Proof, but no Witnesses

Drinking at a party is a Bad Idea! I had won a drinking game! Won is a relative term. After throwing most of it to the porcelain altar, I passed out in a chair downstairs. Usually, that would be all, but I skipped one, and then 2 periods, and went in hoodie and sunglasses to buy the stick. I killed 2 in disbelief, as they were both positive! I hadn’t been with a male in over a year! Not being Holy enough for any alternative, I remember passing out at a party, and asked if anyone saw me picking up. No one did, and some uncomfortable questions started to be asked. I don’t know if I’d rather remember or Forget it, and I’d rather not Find the answers.

Was it my fault

It was spring break of my freshman year. I was drinking and having fun until you attacked me. I was a virgin and planned to wait until I found my soulmate. You took that from me. You took me to your hotel room and held me down and had sex with me. I was recovering from an eating disorder and felt like I was finally beating it. I was small, you were big and I couldn’t push you off. I didn’t scream, my whole body froze. I never said yes but I didn’t scream or hit you. Does that mean it was ok or does that mean it was rape? I remember the awful motion of you pushing yourself into me and the horrible pain. I hated every second and those memories still haunt me. My eating disorder came back full force after you assaulted me. What you did was not ok. 10 years later… Continue reading »

Sharing #MeToo’s

We have been discussing the #MeToo campaign, and we each found a disturbing trend to have experienced something. We resolved to Share or stories: I was dating every weekend once I went to college, after a high school of being the last call for every dance. I was careful about sexual assault, but no one tried. My friends discussed that I would just have the next date take it. I was too moral, or too scared to, take your favorite. I met an outgoing guy at a party, and then saw him again about a week later, and he asked me out. Of course, there was no reason not to go! We never made it to the movie, as he pulled me out of the car, and raped me in the parking lot! He was strong, and covered my mouth, and I saw no one heading for their cars, so he just had his way…. Continue reading »

Tulane Law

I was a Junior. I lived in school housing and went to a party at a house 2 blocks from my room. I arrived and one of the guys who lived there asked me to come check out his CD collection. He got aggressive, pushed me against a wall, and I told him I was not interested and I had a long-distance boyfriend. He wasn’t happy, but let me go back to the main room where my friends were. I made it very clear I did not want to have sex with him. I had friends at party and I came with them. About 7 hours later, I “woke up”’ with him inside me. I pushed him off and ran the 2 blocks to my dorm. I still get sick at smell of obsession which was cologne he was wearing. I still can’t handle the smell. My scrunchie (remember when scrunchies where in style?) smelled… Continue reading »

Gang rape and further sexual assaults

May 05 2001 is a date that will always be tattooed on my brain as that was the day I was raped. I was coming home from work and to save a few pounds I decided to take the bus. After a few minutes I realised I was being followed. It was before 8.30 so no shops were opened for me to go into so i kept walking in the hope they would leave me alone but thing then got worse. 2 of the men grabbed me and dragged me down an alley beside a pub. The other 4 guys with them followed laughing and jeering at me. One kept saying you’re going to get it. My clothes were tore from me then they took turns in raping me. When they finished they all were laughing then walked away and left me. I can’t remember how long I lay there for after but I remember… Continue reading »