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It’s my fault

I’m a small town girl living on her own for the first time in a really big city going to college. I’ve been dating my boyfriend (who lives 5 hours away) for almost 5 years and one night I went out with some friends and ended up getting really wasted to where I blacked out for most of that night. Fast forward 7 weeks later I notice signs of pregnancy but didn’t get an ultrasound until 9 weeks in the pregnancy. At the time, I thought it was my boyfriend (it would be impossible to be anyone else’s as I’ve been exclusive with him) but the timeline she gave me didn’t match with the times by boyfriend came out to see me. In fact, she was about 2 weeks off and I assumed it must’ve been a mistake. It wasn’t until I spoke to another friend about this and she mentioned to me that 9… Continue reading »

Party Accident

I was in the second trimester of school and the pressure was beginning to psych myself out. My friends told me about a party, knowing I would more than likely, not go. I bombed my trig test and was disappointed and angry. That night, I snuck out of my house (already have taken a few shots) and my friends picked me up. After a half an hour, I lost my friends in the crowd. I drank and drank and took pills someone gave me. I felt like a different person. A guy was making eye contact with me for a while when I was talking to his friend. After minutes of “eye flirting,” I finally went over to say hi. He genuinely seemed sweet. The room smelled only of weed and sweat. It was filled with music with bass so loud you could feel it. Things escalated out of control, way faster than I wanted…. Continue reading »

Amusement Park

I’m sharing this today because it’s something I’ve told to only three people in my entire life. It feels liberating, knowing that I will be able to get it all out without people knowing who I am. It was at an amusement park, I know that. But I don’t remember how old I was, somewhere around seven or eight. I don’t remember what he looked like. I don’t really remember anything about the actual experience, mostly just what happened before and after. What I do remember feels like it was just a bad dream. Like it never actually happened and it was merely my brain trying to get in a good scare. I was with my mother in the bathroom. The line was long and stalls were small. My mother told me to wait outside the stall she was using until she came out. I now wish that I had. But be it because the… Continue reading »

It will get better

I was raped 1 year and and a half ago. I say rape even though I was drunk and maybes flirted a little because that doesn’t make what he done to me justifiable. I want all my warriors reading this to know that. It is not your fault. I lost my way in life after this happened. I’ve pined for the girl I used to be. I know many of us feel like that. But now I don’t. I don’t grieve for her anymore. This has taught me a lot about myself. It’s taught me how I need to live my life again. It’s made realize how I want to travel the world and see all it’s beauty. Its also taught me how I need to love myself again. In many ways I blamed myself for what happened. I hated myself. But no more! Recently I found the courage to go back to the police… Continue reading »

Friends are sharing

Sharing is big today, so I am. I was on a date, and he parked, and tried to have sex. I got mad, and said I’d walk home if he didn’t stop, and he keeps trying, so I walked off. On the way home, 2 guys grabbed me and raped me behind the bushes. They took my virginity, and I got pregnant and dealt with it. — Survivor, age 19

Just Violated

I need to post here. I read your posts with a friend who needed to heal, and now I need to heal. A stranger grabbed me in my garage, took my purse for money, and violated me. I am hurt, physically hurt, mentally hurt. I was opinioned that she was off guard when her attack occurred, while I was alert at all times. I find I was unable to defend myself. I have a boyfriend, who had our first discussion of having a next level relationship. I don’t know how he will react. It might be minor in consideration, but I am extremely tired, but if I lay down, I won’t sleep. I flashback if I lay down. How soon is too soon? What if. what if, what if. The same what if others ask. I’m sorry, I am not brave. I am scared. – Diane, age 31

Did I ask for it?

It is about three years ago now. I was in New York visiting my best friend. One night we were out at a nightclub after several of drinks. When we arrived at the nightclub we drank some more, and a guy bought me a drink. Suddenly everything is black. I do not know if i was drugged or not, and i have experienced blackout before, so it could also just be the alcohol. The next thing i remember is that i was alone, without my best friend, because she had went back to the hotel. I was now with another guy, on the way to his car. Then i remember we flirted and i think we were making out. The next thing i remember was him over me, and that i got to my sences and did not want to have sex with him. I remember that i was so drunk that i just lay… Continue reading »

Ride from the Concert

I had tickets to a concert, and took a good girl friend. While there, we hooked up with 2 guy friends. We did a few recreational pharmaceuticals, more than a few. They offered to ride us home, and we went, why not? Well, they pulled into a park, and the guy was pawing my friend, and she was laughing and responding until he started to undress her, and she started objecting. At this point, the other guy turned on me, and pushed me down in the seat. As my friend was being raped in the backseat, laughing about it, I was yelling RAPE! in the front, while he forcibly penetrated me. The results were the same. They dropped us off at the train, and drove off. She turned to me in the reality of just being raped, and screamed in frustration. She stayed at my house, being alone was not an option. — Autumn, age… Continue reading »

Mistaken Identity

Drunk at a party, I guess one of the most common phrases in the stories. I passed out on the couch, with my head on a good friend’s shoulder, and he was equally passed out. When I awoke, we were still on the couch, but I felt funny. My bra was a bit off, and I felt sore down south. Investigating, by panties were inside out, and I found semen. I woke my friend up, and asked him how could he rape me while I was unconscious! He claimed to know nothing, and I refused to believe that! Needless to say, we were no longer friends, and I told everyone! Never stay silent, Right? He got a bad rep, and lost dates from those that heard. Someone heard and e-mailed me a trio of pics. Aside from showing me being graphically raped on the couch, it showed the rapist could not be my friend, who… Continue reading »

#MeToo I am 1

Entertainment has no monopoly on the casting couch. I was at an upper class party, selling a new company division, rather than just 1 product. I had a dress I couldn’t afford, and borrowed jewelry. A new agency engaged to sit my daughter, and I stopped to pray at my husband’s gravesite. I was up to be the first female Vice-President in the company. Nailing this sale would clear the last of our debts, my daughter could go to the school I wanted, and I could have the self-respect I needed so much. If you have never been to a Good-Old-Boys Club gathering, a woman has to look good, converse, joke, party, more than twice as well as the gentlemen. I brought my ‘A’ game, becoming one of the centers of attention. I also was flagged for a ride home early, though I kept my willpower to not blow the game in the ninth. When… Continue reading »