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I let it happen twice

The first time I was raped, it was St. Patrick’s Day. I was 19. A friend invited me to a house party with her boyfriend and his friends. The house was just off a county road that led straight into my hometown. I was one of the last people outside. At the time, I was kind of flirty. My intention was never to lead people on, I made it clear I had a boyfriend (now ex). It eventually got down to just me and one other guy at the fire. We were talking and having a good time for a while, but then I started getting uncomfortable. I said I was going to go to bed soon, because he started acting too sexual. I reminded him of my boyfriend, told him I wasn’t a cheater. He said that it was cool, and that he should probably get to bed as well. He came up behind… Continue reading »

The children are the priority here

Thank You for Speak Out/Share Your Story, you are an Inspiration! My husband is a trucker and spends days to weeks on the road crossing the country. He feels bad about leaving us for so long, but he does it to be an excellent provider. It was a Sunday night. I had my 2 daughters in bed, and had my visit from the Pastor, who blessed my coming child. Church like most things were far to travel like that. I went to sleep in my pillow fort. I woke to a knife at my throat, and he ordered me to be quiet. I nodded my acceptance, and he had seen my daughters, and warned me to cooperate. I told him I would, and I asked him what he wanted. He already had my purse, and I pointed to my jewelry. I won’t quote him, but he explained what he intended to do. I begged him… Continue reading »

Two Times

I have been raped 2 times in total, both in the same place, both by strangers. The first time was hang rape, they chased after me pinned me down and took turns with me. They told me it was my fault for wearing a skirt that showed some of my thighs or a top which was a bit lowcut. Each time I was penetrated it hurt like hell, I screamed for them to stop but each time I screamed they just laughed. I was there for hours as they did as they pleased with me, then they left me there broken so I had to go home alone and I could barely walk. I had a shower when I got back, I must have been in there for over an hour just trying to wash myself. I was only 13 when this happened and my dreams have never let me forget it. The second time… Continue reading »

SURVIVOR OF RAPE

I was raped involving 3 men that worked in the same workplace with me. MY PROFESSION WAS A DIETARY AID. I WAS ASSIGNED IN AN AREA WHERE ELDERLY PEOPLE EATS IN THE DINING ROOM. I WAS ASSIGNED BY MYSELF(which I thought I was). Three men where talking to each other for I don’t know what. One guy picked me up from behind, and took my to the bathroom and raped me, while one of them was watching and the other was watching guard making sure no one was around. That incident changed my life. I came home in shocked that it happened to me, that I wanted to kill myself. But I couldn’t. Then I tried to take a shower to washed their touch out, but Still feel dirty and ashamed inside. This is a part of my history now which I am scarred for life because of them. How can I forgive myself for… Continue reading »

I was raped

I decided to take a stroll in my neighborhood,I was taking selfies when suddenly a man came out of nowhere holding a knife in his hand…my heart skipped a beat, I stood there staring at him wondering what to do next, he asked me to give him the phone I was holding in my arms and to give him money if I had any….I gave him everything and begged him not to hurt me but instead he grabbed my waist, I tried to scream but no sound came out…. He threatened me not to make any sound or he was going to stab me… I just stood there, and watched him use me to his satisfaction and he left…..it was traumatic and even to date, I have never shared my experience with anyone. — Survivor, age 20

He had my pants down

I remember arriving. there was a recycle bin at the door already overflowing with cans. I remember the loud music. I don’t know when who where or how. the why and what were obvious! I looked down and could see between my legs. he didn’t even take the time to pull my pants all the way off. I could see my area and his organ and my blood. even as he went hard I felt nothing. somewhere I threw up and my clothes had blood. I don’t know how I got home or even inside without help or being seen! I asked around on monday and no one but me knew what happened to me. if it was someone I knew no one could name him. even later the friend I came with didn’t know who and didn’t see me with anyone and didn’t believe me. the main reason was that I didn’t get pregnant…. Continue reading »

Do I even belong here?

I am not sure if my story belongs here or not. but this was the first place I found to share it. I volunteer at a site that pairs it’s volunteers with people in need for anonymous private conversations. as a rule it is a great site. but I found out the hard way it can be exploited. I was talking to a man, and he called me babe at one point in our conversation. I told him I was uncomfortable. he made some comment about leaving and self harming. I told him fine, he could call me babe, I didn’t want him to hurt himself. it gradually got worse. Next he asked if he could masturbate during the conversation. eventually he started demanding I say I loved him, beg to do sexual acts with him and describing what I wanted to do in great detail, even making me tell him about my mother and… Continue reading »

My Interview

On the way to any job interview, how many of you thought through every Nightmare Scenario you could on the way there, Raise your Hands! The ones with their hands down are called Liars! On this day, I went, early of course. Went into the Ladies, to check makeup, use the facilities, blow dry my pits, make sure my 3 copies of my resume were visible on the left of my folder, as the print of their website was on the right. I planned my answers, I knew where I wanted to be in 5 years, what I liked least in my last job, and was absolutely ready for anything. While I was in the stall, a man came in and threw the bolt on the door. The next few minutes are not worth expanding on. He left my locked phone, but took my wallet(cards, cash, keys, IDs, address), so I took a breath, and… Continue reading »

You are not alone

I was 16 and a virgin. I never had a boyfriend at that point, just once shared a kiss before. A female friend was at that time sexual more experienced and wanted to have drinks at her place with 2 male colleagues of her. We drank alcohol and the next thing I know about is the next morning I wake up in a bed full of blood. I went to the bathroom and everything on the floor was full of blood. I had scratches on my arm and my clothes were torn apart. The guy stubbed out cigarettes on my arm. Later the female friend, what I thought she is in that moment, told me I cried for help and plead him that he should let me stay a virgin. His friend wanted to have sex with me as well after he violated me, but my rapist wanted to have me for him alone. Did… Continue reading »

NYD

On the 1st January years ago I woke up in a strangers house. My bag was missing and I had very little recollection of the previous night. I was only 18, and had been looking forward to my first legal NYE celebrations with my friends. I had honestly no idea how I’d got to this house, I had vague memories but nothing really came together fully. A man was there. I asked him how I’d got there and he said he’d seen me walking along the street in the early hours alone and drunk. He said he’d taken me in to help me. I asked if I could borrow his phone so I could contact my friends to pick me up. He said only if I had sex with him. The front door was locked and there was nothing I could do. I try to block out the details of what he made me do…. Continue reading »