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Is There Still Hope

I was 9 or 10 when it happen it’s pretty sad because I don’t remember much. I was at my best friend’s house and we were playing with her brother downstairs in his room. So we ended up sleeping down there and I woke up to him raping me. I didn’t know what to do. I woke up lost and my body felt weird, but best friend wanted to play with me that next day. I wasn’t in the mood, she got mad and I left.

I’m 14 years old now and I’ve kept quiet for four years now. It’s been so hard these last four years without say anything. But I wanted to forget and act like nothing ever happen so me and my best friend still hung out after that. I have still seen her brother but he was different all I see in his eyes are hate now. I never stay over there after that but I felt like he was acting like he didn’t hurt me. So when high school started I when boy crazy for the first time in my life I just lost control when a boy looked at me. For the longest time I felt ugly and fat after everything food started to become my new best friend until a few months ago. But didn’t know how to keep a relationship or have relationship with a boy. I felt weird being in relationships so I just didn’t do them. T

hen I started being called the biggest freshmen hoe around but I wasn’t sleeping around with any guys. I was too scared that I’d get hurt again. So I didn’t get it all I wanted was some attention from someone I was so depressed. My parents found out what I doing and pull me out of school a few weeks ago. And when they asked me why I did that I didn’t know what to tell them.But my mom kept asking me why and when I told her and my dad cried all night. Everything has been happening so fast since that day and my parents want to press charges but I don’t know what I want to do. I really don’t want to see him again but I don’t want to go on trial. But our families have been friends for years and because him its all over, DCFS contacted his mother and she asked him if he did that to me and he said he didn’t. It’s funny cause he’s 17 and already in a detention center. And sister pretty messed up too. I wouldn’t be surprise if she gets pregnant soon but I wonder if she knows was or if she really is my friend because I need very deeply care about her. But I’ve talked to people about it but they say they don’t if he’ll get that much time cause were so close in age. Honestly, I don’t know what I want but I’m taking it day by day with the lord to guide me.

6 comments

  • Bruno
  • Nily
  • Alexis
  • Han
  • The Artist (Sorry, I'm I little scared to post an official name)

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