slutshamedchild

I will start off by saying that at ten I was raped by my neighbor in the middle of the night when I was sleeping his his daughters bedroom on the floor. I normally spent the weekends at his house playing with his daughter. She had her cousin sleep over also that night and I offered to be the one who slept on the floor. I woke up to this forty year old dad who I trusted clicking me up while I was asleep and putting my body on the couch in the living room. He started with touching me, and trying to wake me up but I began to black out and see this figure walking out of the darkness that told me to stab him with a fork I’d used to eat the macaroni we had for dinner, the fork was still on the table and I knew that and everything in me told my to stab him. I could not at ten muster enough courage to kill this man while he did these things to my body. I just froze and felt every part of my soul die. He committed suicide after he saw the police and they talked to him about him raping me. For years every girl and boy in my fifth grade class humiliated me and attacked me, hitting me, touching my body sexually then running away. I became violent and aggressive trying to protect myself everyday from ten year old children who called me a whore and told me only poor people get raped or that I should kill myself for not being a virgin at ten. Every day in went home wanting to kill them just as bad as the man who raped me, but he was already dead.

– Danie Seifert