Halloween Nightmare

I was raped at the age of 22 while in college. It was my senior year and all I was looking forward to was running well and making the grades in school. I was on the varsity cross country and track team for my university and when October came it was almost the end of our season. The last weekend of October I had a lot to look forward to: my last cross country meet ever and the local bar by my college would be closing on the same day. My cross country meet that day went very well and I couldn’t have asked for a better way to end my career. All I could think about when I got back to school was the halloween parties I was going to go to and how excited I was for the night. By the time the evening rolled around I was so excited. I took a couple of tequila shots with my roommates before leaving to go to a party. I was feeling it by the time that we left and knew that I should take it easy. The party we went to was just a cross country/ track party and was filled with my team members. I was having a great time but made one of the worse decisions of my life to leave the party and my friends and head to the bar with other people.

When I got to the bar it was packed, like shoulder to shoulder packed. I saw people from school left and right and went straight to the dance floor. I was having a good time. When I decided to leave the dance floor to walk around, I went to the downstairs bar. It was there that I ran into an acquaintance. He started talking to me and I had recognized him as being a former athlete at my university. He remembered me from a previous relationship I had with a close friend of his. He asked me if I wanted to go and meet his friend and I said sure. I followed him. We went upstairs to the back bar where I meet his friends who I also recognized as being a former athlete at my university as well. They offered to buy me a drink and I said sure. The alcohol I had had earlier was wearing off so I wanted something strong. One of the guys ordered my drink and the other stood in between us so I couldn’t see what was going on. I remember thinking why is it taking him so long to hand that drink to me? Why is that drink just sitting in front of him? He wouldn’t drug me, after all I know him. Once he finally handed me the drink I can’t even remember if I finished the whole thing. Things got blurry from here on. All I remember was being taken to the dance floor by one of the guys and dancing with him. We danced for about 3 songs till he told me that him and his friend were leaving. I asked if they were going home together, and he told me no. He told me then that they were coming back to my place. I thought that what he meant by that was that he was just going to walk me home because I was really out of it. I thought that they would never do anything that I would n’t want, after all I know these guys. From the time we left the bar to the time I woke up from blackout I can’t remember anything. The next thing I remember from the bar was waking up naked on all fours on my bed with one man naked in front of me forcing his penis in my mouth, while the other raped me anally. I just remember crying and asking them to stop but they didn’t. For whatever reason, when they were done they switched. I remember I was weak and had no control of body from being drugged that when they went to switch positions and let go of my body I collapsed on the bed because of the effect of the drug and having no control over my body. They pushed me across the bed so that the one who was forcing me to give head was now situated behind me and then he raped me anally, and the other one standing in front of me forcing his penis down my throat. I again begged them to stop and cried. They didn’t stop. When they were finally done I sat on t he bed sobbing. They grabbed their things and left. I sat on the bed crying for a little while longer until thinking to myself what had just happened. I just went to bed since I had a track meeting early in the morning.

The next morning my alarm never went off and I was awakened by roommate knocking on my door. I got up to go to the bathroom and I remember feeling so much pain from my anal region. I couldn’t sit on the toilet. When I looked at myself in the mirror half of my face was covered in blood. I have no idea what could have caused that; I just remember panicking and freaking out because of my missing pieces from the previous night. I washed it off quickly and went to my meeting.

The following week was one of the most horrible and emotional weeks of my life. I was torn about what to do and if I should file a complaint or not. I did end up filing a complaint with the police, but criminal charges were not filed against my 2 rapist since there was no physical evidence. I did, however, seek a civil no contact order. I didn’t ultimately achieve this but I do have restraining order against both of them. The whole process took about 8 months. It was one of the most hardest, stressful, and emotional months of my life. The criticism and blame that I had to take from the detective, medical, and the rapist lawyers was obscene and I felt I could have cracked at any moment. What kept me going through the whole process was the thought of the many victims out there who don’t get the chance for their voice to be heard and how I knew I wanted justice to be served.