When I was in junior high, my family and people at school made fun of me because I wasn’t pretty and didn’t wear pretty clothes. So I had no friends for a very long time and I wanted to be noticed as pretty. So when I was 16, I went on social networking and different guys were paying attention to me, and I loved it. This one guy asked me to sneak out with him, and being 16 and vulnerable, I went having no clue who he was. He picked me up in his truck and we drove off to the lake. We parked and he kissed me and kept telling me I was beautiful. After a few minutes he started to kiss me a lot and his tongue was in my mouth. I had never kissed anyone before so this was all new to me. A few seconds later his hands were down my pants and up in me. It felt very weird and uncomfortable, and it started to hurt after a while. He wouldn’t let me talk because he kept his tongue down my throat, and had me pinned to his lap. He didn’t rape me with his private parts, but his fingers still had the same affect. So after a long time, I got up and told him to take me home, and he did, and he asked me to marry him 2 times. Of course I said no. A few days went by, and one of my close friends explained to me what happened, because I didn’t think it was bad. The worst part is I liked it when it happened, that makes me cry all of the time. It’s been 2 years since that happened, and I still have nightmares and I can’t even have my boyfriend finger me sometimes because I just start to cry. I ball my eyes out a lot, but for the most part in over it, knowing it could have been a lot worse. It keeps me going that nothing else happened that night. I feel kinda stupid writing this because its not really a rape story, but it affected me a lot. I don’t go outside alone, and I’m never without my boyfriend. But I’m so paranoid it’ll happen again. I never told anyone except my boyfriend.
— Survivor, age 18