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37 Years Ago

I just got thru watching your documentary on Netflix I cried thru most of it as obviously I can relate to some of the stories of the victims. I was not raped I was sexually molested by my grandfather at ages 6-9. As I now am 43 years old I don’t know the difference between the two. He had sex with me and I just laid there and pretended to sleep. I felt so dirty and bad and rotten I was too scared to ever tell my grandmother as ever summer I would stay at there home. I never Told a soul until I reached the age of 18 years old when I got a steady boyfriend and I freaked out on him when he touched me from behind a certain way. He then told my mother and she told her family. But it was my fathers father who did this to me and no one told any of them, they just kept it to themselves after crying a lot.

For years I would have to see him at family funerals birthdays and graduations and pretend like nothing happened. Last year he past away and I hoped and prayed since he never made peace with me that he has made peace with God. My life had changed forever after that happened to me… I began to have sex a lot and drink a lot and try and hide my guilt and shameful self… I tried to go to counseling over the years but after telling them my story they didn’t have much to say.. I’m glad you did what you did for you.. And for other women. I hope your heart has healed and you are doing well with your family. May god always keep you in his arms.. You survived and you are still here.

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