I was about 2-3 y/old when I met my stepdad, as a child he was just another man. But as I started to grow things changed. I remember many things that happened. One of the many first scenarios I remember was at my old house, we (meaning my whole family in the house) would play hide and seek. The lights would be turned off and it was like a family bonding time i guess. But when I would hide by myself, my stepdad would find me and rub my private parts through my pants. I remember I was crying silently in the dark. I didn’t know he was doing something wrong I just remember that I started to become distant and more silent with my family.
So as the years went on, it wasn’t that bad. It got worse when we (my mom,my stepdad, and my little sister) moved by ourselves to a different state. The worse part is that my stepdad worked night shift so he would be home when my mom was at work. And at the time, the washer didn’t work so my mom and my little sister would go to the laundry mat. I was left alone with him and my infant sister. He would “shower” and when he was done he would make me lotion his legs. It started with his back but it somehow always went down to his private parts. And when my mom was out and I would shower, he would lotion me. I was about 12-13 years old so I was going through puberty. He would rub my private parts and I always told him “I can do it myself” but he wouldn’t stop. Eventually he stopped touching me and made me touch him. After school he would use the excuse of “my stomach hurts” and make me rub it every single day. Now it wasn’t a stoma ch rub I was giving him, no it would start off with his stomach but then I would end up rubbing his private part. This happened every single day and I would stay up crying all night. And as a child I was a very bright and kind kid but growing up and in 7th grade, I did crazy stuff. I’m not saying because what happened to me made me act up, it just changed who i was. Honestly, no one could tell under my smiles and laughs that a girl like me was going through sexual abuse. But slowly it’s coming out. I moved in with my biological dad and he knows about the abuse but not the details. So what I’m saying is, if you ever experience any type of abuse, you’re not alone. I always thought “No one understands what I’m going through” but it’s not true. There is people out there who can and will help you.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your message of hope is inspiring and important. You are 100% correct that there are people out there who will help and that even when you feel completely alone, you aren’t. There are a lot of people who understand. You are very brave. Light and love, Alissa
I find the word abuse is over used to spread awareness people that been abused must define the grooming stage this way people that read can relate and compare similar situations, WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. when abuse word is used it doesn’t help anyone but letting someone know you been hurt, make a difference Define the signs.