I grew up in a religious household. I used to preach the Word of God every saturday morning and I was always active in church events. My best friend at the time was a bit of a rebel but I loved her. I spent the night at her house one night and her brother showed up. I never knew she had a brother. I was 12 at the time and he was 19. When i would go to her house he would tell me things like when you grow up your going to have a nice body. I never paid attention to him. I used to strive on being a virgin never kissed nor touched. God was my life.
I was homeschooled and I remember one day being in my moms room and you could see perfectly across the room to my hall way and I saw something move so I ran outside and had the phone ready to call 911. I noticed it was my friend’s brother. So i put the phone down and went back inside. I asked him how he got in and he told me he had his way and wasn’t his first time that he used to watch me sleep. I remember him kissing me and I was a 12 year old my panties were flowers on them my shirt and pants all loose. How could someone find me attractive or want to rape me?
He forced me on top of him and he just moved me up and down. Until he finished I kept telling him to stop but he just wouldn’t. When I finally got away I yelled at him and told him to leave or I would call the cops on him. So he ran away.
I wanted to tell my parents but I felt like I would disgust them. So Ii took a shower and got ready for church later on.
I remember being in so much pain at church I could feel the blood dripping down. I never talk to my friend again and I isolated my self. I tried committing suicide but the church told my parents I just sought attention and I went from being a star child at church to a rebel. I didn’t know what to do. Who to tell. I am now 24 married with a daughter. I fear everyday what the future holds and how can I keep my daughter safe yet let her live life.
As your story shows, rape can happen to anyone. All it takes is a person making a decision (or a series of decisions) to cause a very personal harm to another person. It is an absolutely terrifying thought. I don’t know that we can protect our children in the ways we want to, but we can be there for them when the road is difficult. I think the best thing we can do for our children is to believe them, support them, and wrap our arms around them when they are scared or hurt.
I hope that in time you come to find that the future is beautiful. Out of darkness will come light, if you let it in.