A Victim No Longer

I am a survivor of sexual abuse. I am 19 years old. When I was 4 till I was in fourth grade my step father molested me. I loved him like he was my father for so many years. He took so much of my innocence from me. I remember his voice in my ear in a husk telling me how much he loved me and needed me. TO a four year old. The last time he abused me we were on the way home from dropping my brother off at camp. My step father told me how i was his gas like a car needs gas he needs me. I sat as far from him as possible. When we got home i wanted to get into pool he got in with me and let his trunks fall off. He slowly walked toward me and i screamed hopped out of pool and threatened to tell. He didn’t molest me again but he tormented me. Id have to change in closet so he couldn’t see me or shower upstairs so he couldn’t see me. Years went by and i kept silent, but when i got into 6th grade he drugged my with a sleeping p ill his intent was to rape me. But my brother knew something was wrong and saved me. My mom eventually divorced him. But he seemed to still find a way into my life. My mom tried to forgive him for drugging me cuz thats all she knew about. He had claimed he drugged me and my brother so he could go out and drink. My depression grew worse and i began to get angry with my mother. Finally in 8th grade i started to self medicate with alcohol and smoking weed. My mom found me one night blacked out and I told her about all my ex step father did to me. The next day we began prosecuting. I was ashamed by what happened but it felt so good to finally find my voice. He ended up killing himself before we could put him fully away. My journey continues and now I want to help others and give support. There is a lot more details in my story than I wrote so far but this is basically the template. I am 19 and am a strong women who refuses to be a victim. For who ever reads this you can move forward and be happy again. You are not alone. Believe in your voice the first person you tell may not believe you but don’t let that ever discourage you. What happened to you is not your fault! do not be ashamed your a beautiful and Handsome kids, teens, and adults. We must stand together and show people abuse happens and its out there don’t hide from it lets stop the cycle the best way we can by helping others. The sooner you come out the sooner you can start to heal and move forward onto your rest of your lives. LIVE Let the victim become the survivors. WE are fighters and survivors.

— Arianna