My name is Michelle and I have lived a life that I wished was only a movie. The first memory I have is when I was 5,and my mother’s boyfriend was sexually abusing me. My mother sat me in the living and put on a talk show, the topic was a woman giving birth. I remember this like it was yesterday. Out of her mouth came, “if you you aren’t careful this is what is going to happen to you.
This boyfriend sexually assaulted me for 4 years. Most of the abuse was done to me in the morning, in their bed, with her apparently sleeping right beside him. Then about two years later she meets her to be second husband, they married, and the abuse starts all over again. This went on for about 3 to 4 years.
During this time my so called step father’s friend, who my mother didn’t trust or really liked, moved in with us. Yes, he also sexually abused me. My mother used to send me babysitting for this guy. Even though she didn’t like him or trust him.
Finally one day, I met a male friend that I trusted and told him. He in turn told his mother. Yes, his mother called my mother. My mother confronted me and I told her exactly what happen. Her reply was “I will talk to him when he gets home.” She did talked to him and his reply was she played with our dildo. Let me add, I was 10 or 11 years old. She took his side, so I ran away.
I then ended up in children’s aid. While in there I had very little contains with my 3 brothers. I have 2 older and one younger brother. My mother would call me and say things like, “Why are you trying to ruin my life? Your baby brother is trying to kill himself and I am having a nervous breakdown because of you.” The guilt trips that she laid on me were unbelievable.
Feeling guilty and alone, I wrote a letter to my worker and it said I lied. I in turn got 6 months probation for public mischief. I lived in foster care for two years. The men that I have spoken about have never gotten charged. Children’s aid sent me back to live with my mom after my stepfather moved out. I lived there until I was 16 then I moved out on my own.
I stopped speaking to my mom for about 14 years. Then one day she called me and asked if she could come see me, I said yes. I confronted her on all my abuse and she had no response. Today I am 42 years old and we have no relationship.
I watched Brave Miss World, and I commend Linor. She touched my life and gave to me the courage to share my story. I want to thank you and keep up the amazing job.
Michelle,
I am profoundly grateful that you shared your story on the Brave Miss World site. It is important for others to read because it highlights what many know, but don’t speak of – sexual abuse can and does happen everywhere. Children who have been victimized often become re-victimized. You have experienced an incredible amount of trauma and I am so glad Linor’s story touched your life.
Her story has had an incredibly powerful and positive effect on the lives of thousands of survivors and allies. I believe change happens with one voice, but that one voice allows for a much larger collective voice where survivors, like you, find the courage to speak out without apology.
Thank you again for speaking out. You are a force to be reckoned with!
i’ve been reading a lot about this. my gf told me she was raped by her cousin and uncle regularly for almost 8 years straight… from age 8 to almost 15.. till the last day she was there. i don’t understand. how can someone let this happen every day for 8 years. at some point it becomes sex cause she was a young teenager and didn’t put up a fight…i just don’t understand.. she told me she didn’t mind cause it was a escape from reality… so in other words she welcomed it. from all the stories i read the victims didn’t want or like it. from what happened to her it seemed she liked it and wanted it… confused here.