Abusive Relationship

Hello, I’m 18 years old but my story happened a year ago, I was 17.
I started talking to this guy on Instagram in December of 2014. He was 16 years old, and seemed like a sweet guy and called me beautiful and etc, me being a teenage girl the attention attracted me to him. He asked me to hangout and at first I was very iffy about it, my parents always told me to not talk to strangers but I couldn’t resist. A couple days later, on January 1st, 2015 I went over to his house, he was just how I expected him to be, he was so sweet and handsome! Nobody was home when I was there and he showed me up to his room. He started to cuddle with me and we had sex. It wasn’t rape but it felt super weird due to the fact I never had sex with someone the first day I met them. He asked me out that night. The relationship was going good but I realized that he was very jealous, all the time. He didn’t want me to have friends. He started to force me to come over everyday, deleted all my numbers in my phone, tracked me, forced me to wear his clothes to school everyday, threatened me, told me he would kill me and I had to FaceTime him throughout the night fearing I would cheat on him. Things took a turn for the worst though as he started to hit me, throw things at me, and eventually started to rape me. I got raped about 20 times…at times a knife was held up to my throat. The one time I remember most vividly is the time he wanted to try anal…which I was deeply scared of. He pulled down my pants and tried it…in pain I passed out and remember waking up on the floor of his bedroom and I was bleeding. I cried for days, that’s when I realized that this isn’t right..before I didn’t know that was he was doing was wrong. It didn’t “hit me” until then. My friend helped me get out of the relationship. It was hard because I thought it was my fault and that I deserved it. To this day I’m scared of guys, and sex but I’m in recovery

— Survivor, age 28