I recently went through a very hard time in my life and I turned to alcohol. It was my coping mechanism, it helped me through the darkness. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do but I continued to do it against everyone’s wishes. I finally started getting better, no more showing up drunk to work, no more passing out in the middle of the road. I was getting better. Then, the night came, I drank far too much than I expected. I have never been the one to ask for a ride home. I collected myself and left the place I had been drinking. I remember walking home and hearing all the street noises, remembering voices, remembering everything until I didn’t. The next thing I remembered was waking up in my own bed. I woke up with dirt in my nails, hair, and clothes. I woke up with my shirt on backward. I woke up with feeling pain from down below. My heart sunk and I knew what had happened during the night. At first, I blamed myself because of my drinking. If I could have just stopped drinking that night, everything would have been fine. At that point of my life, I had never been so sad and lonely.
I did get myself checked out for all the risks and I was okay physically – however, I am not sure how I’ll recover emotionally. It has been a couple months now and I finally feel okay talking about, sharing my story. To let you all know to never in any circumstance blame yourself. You did not let this happen, you did not want this to happen.
— Survivor, age 19