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Alone

I’m 15. It’s been several (6) months since I have been raped. At the time I was 14. I liked this boy. We had so much in common. Music mainly. We loved the same bands and I became really good friends with him. Once our summer before freshman year hit we started hanging out even more. I started to like him even more. We had hung out at his house alone maybe times, so why would I say no to it again? I wish I did. We were just watching a movie and talking and he started to get touchy. I was fine with hugging him, but his hand would roam my thigh and I became uncomfortable. He wasn’t a virgin. He had told me his sex stories. I was a virgin. Once I figured out what he wanted to do I tried to leave. But he wouldn’t let me. He forcefully pinned me down on his bed and raped me as I begged him to stop. He didn’t. Once he was done he left telling me not to tell anyone. I was scared. So, I didn’t tell anyone. Now I’m in high school carrying this. I pushed everyone away. I’m not the same. I’m scared to tell somebody. They won’t understand. They’ll blame me. Sometimes I blame me. I had a huge crush on him, maybe I should have liked it. Maybe I led him on thinking I wanted it. Maybe if I fought back more. Nobody knows the truth but I like it that way.

5 comments

  • justine
  • justine
  • Michelle
  • Alexis
  • Mariella

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